Chapter 3: Something Bigger

Unknown Metropolis Pier

"I know we can't be seen around here, babe, but did we really have to wear these?", Mercy asks, pinching her raggedy, brown trench coat with disgust. "We have enough money to sneak around in clothes not from Goodwill!" "We do, but do we need to spend money for every little thing?", Lex replied. "You dropped $25k on one pair of underwear. One pair." "It was for a gala event." "During your trip to Hawaii." "Just shut up and don't embarrass me in front of them. You haven't earned their trust yet." "But I got yours, right?" "Yeah yeah, but they're not me", he cements, swinging open the pier house door.

Inside this unsuspecting waterside warehouse sits the Legion of Doom, seven of Earth's most sinister and ruthless criminals ever put together: Joker, Professor Zoom, Cheetah, Black Manta, Deathstroke, Gorilla Grodd and Lex Luthor.

"Look what that damned Amazon and her swords did to my fur! It's ruined, absolutely ruined", purred Cheetah to Black Manta. "Please tell me you're not whining about those loose patches. They'll grow back in no time", Manta sighed. "I know how healing works, fish boy, but it's the principle! I don't try to give her patchy hair, just some face scars and a Greek heart on the floor." "Oooh, you're cattier than usual HAHA!", cackles the Joker, spinning in his chair with a bloody crowbar cane. "Even for your barely existent standards, that was a real groaner", Grodd bellows while throwing a banana peel at his face. "You wanna dance, forearms? Let's do the Congo Conga then!", Joker replies, pulling a gun out of his suit coat. "ENOUGH FUCKNG AROUND", Luthor dictates as he tosses Mercy onto the table.

"Which one of your crazy expensive gal pals is this?", Deathstroke asks in a dry, almost belittling drawl. "This, my dear hitman, is Mercy Graves. She'll be joining us as my right-hand woman from here on out, after her successful management of Lexcorp during my prison time." "…why'd you bring her here for something as simple as that?", questions a confused Professor Zoom, sliding out of the shadows. "That's a group email at best, my guy." "Learn her face for legacy member purposes." "Haven't you heard of attachments, baldy?", Cheetah adds. "We all have, Patchy", Mercy replies in a snarky tone. "Told you she ruined it, Manta", whispers Cheetah.

"So you brought her over for clerical purposes?", Grodd confirms. "You may pay for our meetings, but that's a waste of finances." "Whether or not she needs to be here, you know her. The deed is done. What news do you cretins bring tonight?" "Gotham is still mine, to no surprise", Joker laments. "My next hit is gonna be the Rogain manufacturing plant, anyone want in?", asks Cheetah. "Count me in, I wanna see what your time's factories look like", gleefully chimes in Zoom. "I have actual news for ya, Mr Clean", Deathstroke comments. "You do? Share with us what you know." "It's what I found. I was hired for a job on the International Space Station—" "It was a Maxwell Lord job, wasn't it?" "You know I don't tell you who's paying me unless they're in the room", Deathstroke replies in his deep drawl. "So anyway, I was on the station, taking care of business. While I was cleaning up the mess, there was a beep on one of the monitors. Turns out a damn UFO is headed right for us in two weeks time!"

"…did you say 'UFO'?", Manta stammers. "As in alien ships?", a concerned Cheetah adds. "Wait, why are you two scared all of a sudden?", Mercy berates. "You two fight gods and super strong fish dudes with all kinds of magic and ancient yet advanced tech all day and night! What's a few little green men in a flying saucer gonna do to us?" "M'am, what's your name again?", asks Deathstroke. "Mercy Graves." "Mercy, you're an idiot. Did you forget your boss's worst nightmare is an alien in red and blue tights with enough power to reverse time if he wanted to?"

"Now THAT'S a zinger, baby!", Joker giggles. "Pardon her spunk, but Wilson, do you know what kind of spaceship is headed towards us?" "I know what it's not, at least. It's not made of any emotional construct energy, so the Lanterns aren't gonna hurt us. I'm 99% sure it's not a military ship, so no new invasion force. It's likely a floating crash site or an escape pod from a bigger problem we definitely can't handle or get involved in." "Is it another Superman in there?", Lex asks, sweating nervously. "I don't know what's inside IF there's something inside it! The computer screens in the ISS aren't as advanced as our equipment, it's all Soviet era tech!"

"You're shitting me!", Manta barks. "Sadly, he's not", Grodd claims, using his telepathic powers on Wilson. "Get outta my head, ya flea bag!", Wilson demands. "Is there any Kryptonian tech visible on that screen, Grodd?" "No, Lex, it's truly an unknown object coming towards us. What's our plan on handling this?" "There is only one plan: I'll go to it, and I'll kill them if they're Super people. Simple." "Can't we join in on some of the fun?", Cheetah asks. "Yeah, the Rogain factory raid sounds pretty damn boring and I don't want to die in space, so have fun with that, shiny!", Manta rejects.

"Stick to fighting Spongebob for all of us, ya coward", Mercy hisses. "What'd you say, you overblown secretary?" "Go back in your fish tank, and fight Spongebob." "Better watch your mouth, little lady, before I watch it on my trophy shelf!", Manta shouts, throwing a forearm blade at Mercy's head. She catches it with her left hand, stabs the table and flings herself onto Manta, trying her damnedest to remove his helmet.

"Anyone else care to chime in or add to the plan?", Lex asserts, pointing towards Mercy and Manta's tussle. "Anyone? No? Ok, I'll do it myself. Mercy, live up to your namesake and give Manta some." "But he's being a huge pain in the ass, let me make sushi outta him!", she begs. "He's not worth it. Get up already. We have work to do, now." She walks over to Lex, sticking her tongue out at Manta as one last insult. "That floating mystery box better not land in the ocean, or I'll claim it as my own!", Manta shouts as he jumps into the salty ocean waters below. "I must agree with Black Manta. If it lands in Gorilla City, my apes will seize full control of its probing", Grodd adds, sternly walking over to his teleportation device. "He or she is all yours, Luthor. I don't deal with mystery targets and never will", Wilson yells before jumping onto his jet ski. "I would, but I got my own plans to finish. C'mon, future boy, let's ride!", Cheetah hollers as she climbs on Professor Zoom's back. A yellow blur bursts through the wood wall, dashing onto the Metropolis highways.

"Hey, what about the—" "Let the clown leave when he wants to. Just start checking the War Suit stats, make sure it's ready for tomorrow", Lex dictates as he puts on his raggedy coat once more.

END OF CHAPTER 3