Chapter 13: Bargain of A Lifetime

Downtown Metropolis

"There you are, Legion of Doom. Here is your former greatest pain, his family, and your new bringer of death: me", Brainiac interrupts, dropping everyone on the hard concrete with callous indifference. "Y-y-you what?", Lex stammers in extreme shock, shaking furiously onto the wet concrete. "I have done in a few days what your feeble, primitive Earthling minds could not in a lifetime. I am greater than your Legion of Doom and you, Lex Luthor of Earth." "You, a machine from outer space,… better than ME?", Lex confirms while having random spasms and foaming at the mouth. "Yes. Now take my trophies, creature."

"No one.." "Oh you fucked up now, Terminator!", Zoom interrupts. "NO ONE…" "Oh God, time to fight again", Wilson mutters to himself, cocking his fists. "NO ONE TELLS LEX LUTHOR WHAT TO DO, AND I DAMN WELL KNOW NO STINKING FUCKING ALIEN IS SMARTER THAN ME, THE SMARTEST AND MOST CAPABLE MAN ON EARTH!", Lex bellows at the top of his lungs, swinging straight at Brainiac's jaw. As the enraged billionaire lets out a flurry of blows onto the robot, it doesn't flinch; even with the whole Legion taking shots at its metallic husk.

"Hey, guys, I got your fancy shmancy armors at the penthouse office, when are ya gonna come get it?", Cheetah barks through Zoom's discreet audio device. "New objective: kill your resources to ensure your deaths are permanent", Brainiac glitches, tossing everyone far off left and swiftly turning his head towards LexCorp Tower.

"Wait a minute, this walking trash can has a loose spine-connecting wire!", Zoom notices to himself. "Let's end this hell once and for all!" The time-traveling speedster sprints towards Brainiac's neck/spine connection area, reaches for the loose wire, and clenches it firmly in his left hand within the tenth of a nanosecond. Zoom then begins to pull, but is suddenly electrocuted from the right pointer finger of Brainiac. A monotonous "NO" echoes in the alleyway sinisterly.

"Ahhhhhhhhohgodohfuckitsgotevenmorefeaturesthanicouldimagine!", Zoom hollers, tightening his grip in fear and yanking the loose wire clean off. The machine stiffly clinks and clanks towards Zoom as if it was rusting in real time, but freezes millimeters away from Zoom's neck. "What did you do?", Wilson asks. "…I took this, yanked it outta him, and now he's maybe dead", Zoom summarized. "You what?", asks Lex. "You heard me, man. Grab the fucking tin toy and let's go to the penthouse before the other tin toy serves my ass on a silver platter", Zoom replies. "Fair enough for me. Lex, let's go", Manta adds.

LexCorp Tower Penthouse, Midtown Metropolis

"Damn, Daddy Warbucks. Who would've thought you can order an island online with no ID!", Cheetah gleefully contemplates in front of a computer screen with Mercy Graves tied up in leopard skin scraps, sipping on Lex's private stash of Napoleonic brandy. "Is this how you treat everyone's house as a guest?", Mercy grits, trying to wiggle her way out. "No, just houses that can afford to clean up ALL of my messes", she purrs back, stretching like a puma on the desk.

"We're back, my little fur ball!", Zoom sings ecstatically, kicking the front door open and throwing the husk of Brainiac in front of the desk. "There's my Zoomy Zoomy Zoom!", Cheetah shouts, leaping onto his head ever so gracefully. "Mercy! What are you doing practicing those moves in front of our colleagues?", Lex asks, hastily untying her. "Ya mean those moves that led her to be tied up by me? She couldn't outrun a snail for her life!", Cheetah replies in a snarky tone.

"I'd say that was quite the insult, but,.. naw, I'm sorry, that was a good insult", Wilson adds haphazardly, closely watching the door. "Lex, what in the name of fuck is Brainiac doing here and not moving?", Mercy questions in a very concerned manner. "We did it. We're finally going to make our own Superman killing machine", Lex replies coyly. "Hold up, no we are not! We need to return Amazo to the Toyman!", Zoom interrupts, holding a vibrating hand on Lex's neck. "Give me your armor, that'll take any hit Big Boy over there'll have for me." "He has a remote, why don't you just use the remote?" "Jesus, Lex, don't you remember what I told you back in the cell block?" "…if it comes back with ONE scratch—" "You'll have my head, yea yea I've heard it before in the future", Zoom sasses as he runs with a familiar green and purple armor.

"Brainiac Operations Systems booting up momentarily", the alien automaton reports seemingly from the grave. "Luthor, the time for games is OVER! I'm killing it for good!", Grodd barks at the top of his vehemently angry lungs, slamming his paws on his chest like a war drum. The primate's fists dive directly into Brainiac's face, cracking a bit of the shell's exterior.

"You lied to me, Lex Lex Lex Lex Luthor of Earth. You wanted to use me as if I am a toy to be played with, or a child's gun to shoot their annoying sister. You will not not not survive to perform your petty petty grievances", the mechanical monstrosity boots up, choking Grodd. "Not in this lifetime!", Mercy yells, jumping on Brainiac and trying to split open the small crack in his head.

"No", Brainiac replies, quickly blasting Mercy out of the way, only for Cheetah to just as quickly grab the split with her true super strength. Chaos ensues in the Lexcorp Tower Penthouse.

Unknown Corn Fields, Kansas.

"Hold up, give him some breathing room!", shouts a muffled voice, possibly someone younger. "This can't be him", doubts an older, second voice. "He said give Superman some room to breathe man, c'mon!", adds a more feminine voice. "Yeah right, he's not even the real Super—" A large, built, dazed man in blue tights sits up amongst the small crowd of young boys and girls, silencing everyone instantly. "Hi there. Do you kids happen to know which corn field I got tossed into right now?", Clark calmly asks, jostling the teenage boy's hair. "You're in the Jefferson's field, Mr Superman", cheerfully replies the little girl.

"Hold up. Aren't you little Lori Lemaris?", Clark asks gleefully. "You remember my name?" "Why, oh course! Who doesn't remember Smallville's first National Honors student?", he says with a big smile on his face, handing her a fresh ear of corn. "You are Superman!", the first boy exclaims with glee. "See, guys, I told you he really was the Superman!" "You're quite the detective, sport. You're almost as good as Batman!", Clark coyly replies. "Pfft. You got a lucky guess, dude. Prove you really are Superman", the teen dryly interrupts. "Any of you kids know which way Mr Jefferson's farm house is from here?", Clark politely asks, standing up fully upright. "It's, it's…it's uhhhh…", stammers the shocked teen. "That way!", the younger kids shout, pointing to their right.

"Grab me, and hopefully none of you have a heart condition", Clark says, crouching down as if he's building up energy for something. "Ok, Mr Superman!", all three reply. As the kids are safe in Clark's arms, he launches himself like a cannonball, dropping down on the Jefferson family front porch just as quickly with a thunderous BOOM.

"Gee, you really are Superman!", the teen claims loudly. "What in the world just landed on MY front la—", Mr Jefferson bellows, dropping his shotgun at the sight of Superman. "…Cl-I mean Superman. How's the old Kent family doing?" "They're alright. Can you do me a favor, Bill?" "Y-yeah. Let me take one of those educated guesses you city slickers use, and say these kids need rides back home?" "I think telepathy is your secret super power", Clark chuckles, waving goodbye and flying off towards Metropolis. "So long now!" "Bye, Superman!", everyone replies in unison.

END OF CHAPTER 13