Birthday : Yamamoto-Genryuusai Shigekuni
Date : 21st of January
Notable things : Inspired by various colorful Bleach omake especially The Game part one and two, although not directly and blatantly taken from there.
Yamamoto woke up this day with the feeling that there was something special about it. As he was getting ready for work, he couldn't get his mind out of thinking about what was so special about the day. It was the twenty first of January, as far as he could remember, there were no plans made for that day. Nor was it the day someone he knew died, or the day someone he knew celebrated anything.
Finally, when he entered his office and found twelve objects—all wrapped but not all were in any particular shape—sitting on his desk. His vice-captain had casually said, "Today's your birthday, soutaichou."
Then he finally remembered. He sighed. Being a very old soul, even older than most of the others, he had forgotten when his birthday was, nor had he permitted anyone to celebrate it, simply because celebrating every year in the whole two millennia or so wasn't an amusing idea. He was mildly surprised that all the twelve captains knew, and even went as far as to give him something. Along with that, came the realization that this was the moment he was about to dread. So he sat on his chair, rested his cane and took the topmost gift.
It was a plain wrapped gift with an unnamed shape. He opened it and had to blink twice before it. Perhaps someone had mistakenly given him someone else's present. But it was not, as there was a piece of paper saying : Dear Soutaichou, happy birthday. Soi Fong. He just had to accept the fact that she gave him a cell phone, the one made by the Shinigami Women Association, much less. If he wasn't mistaken, this cat and hornet hybrid of a cell phone was a rejected idea. He shrugged it off. After all the soutaichou rarely went to human world.
The second one was white in packaging, and was a box in shape. When he unwrapped it, it was a book happily titled: 'From the Ugly Duckling to the Swan : How A Smile Could Attract Women'. Again, Yamamoto stared at the book, trying to figure out the purpose. It would either be saying that he was ugly, or that he needed to smile more, or simply a way to say that the sender couldn't spend much, time and money, on a present. All of them seemed to be the reason, as he found a note written in Osaka-ben (it was not supposed to be included in written language, he frowned on that) saying: Dear Yamamoto-soutaichou, you should try reading and applying this book, it's a miracle. Love, Gin. He raised his eyebrows to the book and put it aside.
The next package was yet another white box, containing a book and a steel box. The book was called 'How to Heal Yourself', and the box contained a simple healing kit. Did the Fourth Division finally crack? As long as Gotei 13 went, the Fourth Division was always looked down on, told to do trivial things while they also had to heal the injured shinigamis without so much as a thank you. He flipped open the letter. As though anticipating that very thought, the letter read: Yamamoto-soutaichou, this is for emergencies where the Fourth Division can't be relied on to help you. Please use it well.
He opened another box containing another book. This book, though, had him staring at the title for a long time. 'Why People Love to Stand On The Top'. Was Aizen trying to somehow insult him? It wasn't very likely, considering that Aizen was sometimes seen being the male version of Unohana. Still, when he peered at the first page, Aizen had scribbled there the message that the book should be useful to him, because it was simply a good and truthful book. Yamamoto wondered idly why he had books with him, or twelve gifts for that matter. They must have been conspiring, he concluded.
The next one was a curiously small package. He contemplated about it being an insult, because after being opened, the gift turned out to be a red envelope with gift vouchers in it. Yamamoto was at loss. He was far from being a child, no one should give him red envelopes. He was not poor either, where did that insolent Kuchiki get his idea to give him this insult? Then again, the gift vouchers could be used to buy the things he really desired as opposed to ready-made gifts that were disappointing. He glanced at the pile of presents and at the red envelope in his hand. It was still rather insulting.
At this moment, Yamamoto was rather wary of continuing his act. He had a bad feeling none of the rest would be pleasant, at least until he stopped prejudicing. So he steeled himself to just accept the gifts and opened the seventh one.
He stared at the yellow vertical pupils. It was a cat doll, figure, whatever. The feline thing was smiling at him with its pearl white teeth. Its right paw was raised and its left paw was holding a gold coin. For a good long minute Yamamoto stared at the white, smiling cat. If he wasn't mistaken, it was used in the modern days as a symbol to invite good luck, or just fortune in business places. Although Komamura did have a hidden obsession with cats, he still couldn't make out what the purpose of the gift was. The cat was supposed to invite fortune, a thing Yamamoto definitely didn't need right now. Still, it was better than the other gifts, and most importantly, it was different.
However, the eight gift was also different. He knew instantly from the bubbly pink wrap whose it was. His sense of dread was proven true when he opened it. He nearly had a heart attack (actually a nosebleed, he wasn't that weak). It was a stack of porn stuffs; the foremost image alone was enough to make him get rid of the things in one swipe. According to Kyouraku he just wanted to 'cheer Yama-jii up because he seems to be very stiff lately'. To Yamamoto, he was just looking for an excuse to buy and gawk at those things without getting his fukutaichou whacking him all over. Yamamoto sighed. Sometimes he wondered how Kyouraku's mentality could stay at a teenager's state.
The next one was rectangular in shape, and in some ways relieved him for a bit. Somehow, it told him that this one would be different from the others. And it was. The gift was a white cane. Yamamoto stared at it. It was a white cane, it should have been appropriate if it had been given to Tousen instead of the blind man to be giving it to the sightful soutaichou. Aside from that, his present cane was Ryujin Jakka, why would he change it? Yamamoto was yet again baffled by his subordinates' common sense, in which they picked things that suitedthem instead of suiting him, the one they were giving to. He tossed the white cane to the pile of the previous gifts.
The tenth gift (he was very much disinterested by now) was very thin and small. It turned out to be a simple birthday card, a plain, white, decoration-less card with just the words 'Happy Birthday', neatly handwritten anonymously. Yamamoto shrugged. At least Hitsugaya was sincere.
The eleventh gift was also thin and small, but this time it bore a badly drawn picture of Zaraki Kenpachi and his zanpakuto, with a doodle that was supposedly Yachiru saying in her speech balloon: 'You have won a free battle invitation with Zaraki Kenpachi! Congratulations!' This particular gift went straight to the trash bin. Until now, Yamamoto still regretted allowing Zaraki to be a captain. He was useful when it came to decimating Hollows, but he was a trouble within Seireitei.
The twelfth package was small and rectangular. When he unwrapped it, it was an opaque cylindrical bulb on a flexible cord attached to a clipper. According to the card that came with it, it could help him reading in the night. Interested that finally something was useful, he pressed the supposed switch, only to have the thing exploded. He stared at the apparatus. Without much thought he threw it into the trash bin. Kurotsuchi, too, was not his dream-captain of the Twelfth Division, what with his tendencies to do anything for research. But, like Zaraki, he was the only one available, and he could come in handy sometimes.
He eyed the last gift warily. What could be that big? He walked over and pulled the wrapper. It was a life size statue of him in his battle mode with flame dancing all over. Ukitake really did have an odd taste when it comes to giving people gifts. This one was quite artistic and realistic, but it was not practical. There was no way he was going to put it anywhere near public. Maybe when his time came at last...
If anything, they served as a reminder why he forbade anyone from celebrating his birthday.