Disclaimer: I'll set a crup on you if you actually think I own any of this…
A/N: So yeah…chapter eight. A little shorter than the others, but what can you do. This chapter also has more angst in it than I particularly care for, though hopefully next chapter we'll be back to full force funniness… Thanks so much for all the reviews, they made me so very happy! And again, to my beta, who helped me ever so much with this chapter. Also, one last thing. I know there is much debate as to whether James is a Seeker or a Chaser, but nowhere in the books does it say what position James played. My beta told me in an interview Rowling said he was a chaser, but until that's down in pen, paper, and a really think binding, he's a seeker to me. I kind of like the idea of a legacy of seekers, you know? His seekerness is also kind of why I called it "Seeking You", get it? And now, without further adieu…
Falling ForgivenessJames's anger towards Lily did not dissipate the next day. Or the day after that. Or for the next several weeks for that matter.
Lily found herself sitting at the opposite side of the table from James once more. The late night talks with James she had enjoyed so much were gone. She was no longer on the receiving end of his boyish grin, but rather a hurt, disappointed frown.
He no longer tried to make her laugh. This is what Lily missed the most. As idiotic as his jokes may sometimes be, they never failed to lighten her mood.
In the few weeks Lily had been friends with James, she had fallen in love. She realized that now, but was too stupid, and/or arrogant, to admit it. She stuck by her foolish pride, and ended up pushing away the person that mattered to her most.
Even now she couldn't bring herself to apologize. Her mind wouldn't allow her to utter the two words that could fix this whole mess.
She kept trying to convince her friends she would get over it. That it was just a crush, just teenage hormones running rampant. It didn't work though. Lily couldn't even convince herself she was over him.
All of this was running through her mind as she made her way down to the Quidditch pitch with Gwen, both girls in varying states of misery. The sleety, cold, conditions of the November day matched the mood of the two heartbroken girls.
Kids were scuttling past the sullen pair, happily shouting suspected outcomes of the first quidditch match of the season. Most were wearing scarlet rosettes, but there was a fair amount of Slytherin pride in the crowd as well.
Honestly, Lily didn't care. The only reason she was attending was because as head girl, she was responsible to keep order among the masses.
'And because you'll have a valid reason to stare at James in his delectable Quidditch robes…' the little devil inside her head added.
'Oh, shut up you,' Lily told it.
Lily looked around for a seat and spotted Remus and Peter sitting near the top. She didn't understand why Remus didn't tell Gwen the truth. He was truly underestimating her, and Lily knew from experience it was a hard thing to forgive.
Lily quickly turned away from them and plopped in the nearest seats she found, emotionally exhausted.
She ran a hand through her auburn locks, willing the game to start. The sooner it ended, the sooner she could go back to bed to have a good cry.
As if hearing her with, the voice of Susie Sheldon, a fourth year Hufflepuff, came bellowing through the pitch.
"Welcome to the first Quidditch match of the season, Gryffindor Vs. Slytherin! Here comes the Slytherin team! Chasers McNally, Rudy, and Black! Beaters Prince and Pummler! Seeker Williams! And Captain and keeper Gregory Toiler!"
Loud cheers and hisses erupted from the Slytherin end of the pitch as their team flew over the stands.
"And here comes Gryffindor! First out is captain and seeker James Potter! Followed by beaters McPherson and McDougal! Keeper Waltz! Chasers Floss, Huse, and, of course, the most handsome, glorious, outrageously gorgeous, Sirius Black!"
Lily rolled her eyes as Susie finished and cheers erupted. The girl had a hopeless crush on Sirius, much to the annoyance of Linnea. Sirius was basking in the attention, however, blowing kisses at her and the other female supporters.
"The players take their positions—Miseur Ferryweather releases the balls, and they're off! Gryffindor in possession! Huse makes a neat reverse pass to Floss, who takes it up field. And back to Huse—No! Slytherin takes the quaffle! Black now in possession-- the icky one, not the god who plays for Gryffindor-and shoots—Blocked by keeper Waltz! And the striking Black now in possession! Racing towards the hoops—he shoots—SCORES! 10-0 to Gryffindor! I always knew Sirius was the best. See how he just did that? The most impressive scoring I've ever—"
"Susie! Can we get back to the game please?"
"Sorry, professor…Huse with the quaffle now! She appears to be using the Woollongong Shimmy to avoid the opposing chasers! She's nearly to the goal—OUCH! And the crowd calls for a penalty as Rudy uses a poorly executed Transylvanian Tackle!"
Lily groaned. The Slytherins had always played dirty, but with James as captain they seemed to be putting much more effort into their underhanded tactics.
"And a still bleeding Huse takes the penalty—AND SHE SCORES! No wonder, as Toiler couldn't block a quaffle with five arms and a—sorry professor-- So it's 20-0 to Gryffindor, and—wait—is that the snitch?!"
Looking frantically around the pitch Lily spotted James streaking down towards the Slytherin end on his Nimbus 1500, far in the lead of his seeker foe. She held her breath as he reached out a hand to grasp the snitch.
"AND GRYFFINDOR WINS 170-0! Not even giving Slytherin a chance to score…!"
But Lily wasn't paying attention to the announcer anymore. She watched in horror as the Slytherin beaters combined their strength and shot a bludger at James, holding his hand up in victory, completely oblivious.
Didn't he pay attention to anything?!
"JAMES!" she cried, pointing at the offending object. He turned towards her with a confused look on his face, though how he could possibly hear her over the crowd she'll never know. "WATCH—"
Wham.
The bludger slammed into the back of his head.
"NO! LINNEA!" Lily screamed, watching as James fell from his broomstick, unconscious. Linnea raced over beside her and Lily jumped on the back of her broom stick. Together, they flew to James' side just before the teachers were arriving All she cared about was getting to James's apparently lifeless form.
'He can't be dead. He just can't be dead…I haven't even apologized to him! He doesn't know how I feel. Oh god, oh god, oh god…I've been an idiot…'
Ten minutes, later she found herself pacing outside the hospital wing, desperately waiting for her turn to visit. Madame Pomfrey had insisted only two visitors at a time, and currently Sirius and Peter were taking their turn.
Sirius had insisted they should be allowed to go first as "We're actually on speaking terms with him. Unlike other people…" making Lily feel thoroughly ashamed.
She wondered vaguely why Remus wasn't with them. Wandering farther down the hall, so as not to be a sitting kneazle for an attack by Peeves, she found out.
Remus was sitting alone against the cold stonewall, hands propped upon his knees looking thoughtful.
"Hey Remus," she greeted softly. "Mind if I join you?"
"Not at all…" he responded, giving her a sad kind of smile
The two sat in silent reflection together before Lily spoke.
"So I guess we're both in something of a dilemma, hmm?"
He nodded, looking even more perplexed. "But your dilemma seems a bit easier to remedy. Which is what you're here to do, I'm sure?"
Lily shook her head yes. "When I saw him falling today, all I could think was 'What if he dies not knowing how I feel?' I could have cursed myself for being such a prat."
"Well, I'm glad one of us can have what we so desperately pine for."
"You could have it too, Remus."
The young werewolf laughed bitterly. "Things are a little more complicated for me, Lily."
"No, they're not. Tell her the truth. It's as simple as that."
"You…you know? About my…condition?"
"Yes, and I'm telling you Gwen will understand. It's lying to her for the past six months you'll have to worry about…"
"No," Remus denied. "She could never love a...well...someone like me"
"Remus—no, look at me---Remus, you are the most intelligent, kind, unselfish person I have ever met. You are the best friend a person could ask for, and Gwen is in love with you. She sees what inside the heart, not anything as superficial as a little thing like lycanthropy."
Remus stared into Lily's honest green eyes, as sad yet determined look on his face.
"Thank you, Lily. You see the good in others, even when they can't see it in themselves."
With that Remus got up from his spot on the floor, indicating Lily to follow, and walked purposefully to the infirmary door.
"Sirius! Peter! Get out here! There are other people who'd like to visit you know!"
A few seconds later a disgruntled Sirius came out, Peter in tow. Spotting Lily still waiting, he eyed Remus warily.
"You called us out so she could talk to him?"
"Don't be such a git, Sirius," Remus said, giving him a half smile, indicating all was well.
"Oh, go bite yourself, Remus," Sirius smirked.
"Oh go boil your heads, the both of you", Lily said squeezing her way between them to enter the room.
Lily walked slowly over to James's bed, recognizing his by the mess of dark hair played across the stark white pillows.
James sat up quickly upon seeing Lily, then winced and touched a spot on the back of his head.
"What are you doing here?" he asked coldly.
Lily faltered at the icy tone of his voice.
"I—I wanted to see if you were all right…"
"Oh, right," James rolled his eyes. "It would be tragic if the head boy was unable to complete his duties…"
"No…not the head boy. My friend."
James turned and looked into her face, and really looked into her eyes for the first time in weeks. His face softened and he smiled slightly. Or at least gave the best impression he could of a smile, with so many bruises marking up his face.
With a smile Lily leaned down and wrapped her arms lightly around him.
"I missed you." She said softly in his ear.
A/N: So, how was the quidditch match?! It was particularly difficult to write, so please review and tell me if my toil was worth it!