Hey you guys, I know that I promised you the class chapter. I know I didn't get to the sport in this one, but I will be updating extremely soon by Friday or Saturday. Anyway pleaseREVIEW you guys, I think I'm losing my supporters. It was really weird. One day I was on more people's favorite lists than the next day. Anyway enough of my woes, and I hope you like this chapter!

Disclaimer: If I did own Harry Potter, I would not need to go to college and get a job to make billions of dollars.

"Jingle bells Jingle bells Santa Claus is dead."

"Ron please shut up."

"Teddy bear Teddy bear shot him in the head."

"Someone save me from this god-awful noise please."

"Barbie doll Barbie doll tried to save his life."

"Hagrid's never going to be friends with you again because he's going to think that dreadful cacophony you are creating is you torturing a niffler," I warn.

"But GI Joe from Mexico stabbed her with a knife."

"You are the worst singer that I've ever heard Ronald," I inform him slowly uncovering my ears as he continues to hum happily to himself. Ron and I have a strange relationship. Conversations between him and me are usually odd, involve mock fights, include sarcastic comments, comprise of many annoying antics, and usually end with me causing him some sort of physical harm.

But Ron and I have to stick together through thick and thin right now. Susan and Harry are still acting very peculiar and are walking together ahead of us. Both of us want nothing to do with the two lovebirds that haven't exactly realized they're in love yet.

"All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth," Ron suddenly bursts into song again. Why me, oh why me I am thinking. What I wouldn't give to have a super size roll of spellotape right this very instant.

Oh help me, Ron is doing a strange dance routing to go along with his singing act, which involves much pelvic thrusting and circle spinning. If we were in the Great Hall, I have no doubt that Ron would have breakfast items being hurled at him right now. Not that he would mind or anything. He would probably pick the food off himself and eat it while singing and chewing with his mouth open at the same time, making a lame joke about see food and seafood.

Thankfully we are almost at the quidditch pitch and will have to part ways because the girls changing room is on a different side than the boys changing room.

Twenty more steps till we sadly part ways. Heavy sarcasm on the previous 'sadly'.

"I'm too sexy for my shirt."

Thirteen more steps.

"So sexy it hurts."

Much pelvic thrusting is still occurring and I am attempting to shield my virgin eyes. This of course leads me too walking into a tree. Ron's favourite tree to be exact. The singing abruptly stops.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," gasps Ron. "You have desecrated the tree of wisdom, you will be appropriately punished. The tree god is angry at you and I can feel the vibes he's giving off saying that you are to suffer in the presence of an enemy for the next hour." Ron says fervently.

And he calls Professor Trelawny a madwoman. I bet the tree isn't even giving him vibes and he made that prediction by himself. It's not exactly a prediction anyway, he knows it's true.

"Erm I'm very sorry Ron," I apologize without really meaning it. Ron has been especially attached to that tree ever since he claimed it saved his life by providing him shelter in a raging storm that included thunder and lightning. I decided not to point out that standing under a tree in lightning is extremely hazardous as tall objects are more likely to be hit by lightning.

"Hermy don't apologize if you don't mean it." He turns to the tree and says in a very reassuring voice, "She didn't really mean to kick you buddy."

"Can we move on already Ronald, we're going to be late for class," I tap my foot impatiently as he continues to whisper to the tree.

"Oookkkkay Hermione, but don't blame me if you have bad luck today. It's karma," he whispers conspiratorially.

Ron's whole karma thing is actually bothering me a little. Fate won't punish me for walking into the tree right? I mean it was really Ron's fault anyway. If it weren't for his mind scarring pelvic thrusts, I wouldn't have been trying to walk with my eyes closed.

"See you later Ron, I have to go…. to um…. to the girls changing rooms," I say and hurry away from my crazy acquaintance.

I catch up with Susan and she stares into Harry's eyes for a long period of time before I pull her away. Just looking at the two of them making kissy faces is nauseating, and I have been feeling nauseated a lot today. First from Harry and Susan's staring at each other, then from Ron's pelvic thrusting, and lastly from the staring between Harry and Susan. I decide to tell her that I'm going to upchuck my breakfast if she doesn't hurry along.

"Susan my dearest friend, you really must stop making lovey dovey eyes at Harry….or I'll upchuck my breakfast on your new shoes."

"I'm sorry Hermione… it's just…"

"I know you really like Harry blah blah blah, so why don't you just ask him out?"

"What if he says no?"

"That's just a chance you're going to have to take Susan," I say as we amble over to the changing rooms where we meet many other people.

The girls' changing rooms can be compared to a mountain with an echo. Somebody will say something on one end of the room, and by the time everyone has finished changing, the whole female population will know about it. Today was no exception.

"We are so sorry we bothered you about Malfoy," Parvati says as she hurries toward Susan and me.

"Yes, we really didn't think that you were so heartbroken that a simple consolation would lead to you having an emotional breakdown in front of the entire school," gushes Lavender.

"Thanks for the reminder guys," I mumble to myself, knowing that it is futile to try telling them that I really am not in love with Draco. Susan knows this too, and shakes a sympathetic head at me.

I despise changing in the locker rooms very much. Whenever you strip off your shirt, you'll hear some sort of comment. Something like 'oh I love the colour of your bra, where did you get it?', or 'can you believe she was wearing granny undies'. If you ask me there is nothing wrong with wearing granny underwear. It is much more comfortable than wearing those thong things that ride up your ass.

Anyway remember what I was saying about the changing rooms and echoing mountains, and that today was no exception? Well, by the time all of us girls had exited the locker rooms, everyone knew about the apologizing Parvati and Lavender had done as soon as we entered. Five house points to whoever can guess what the latest hot gossip topic was upon exiting to the quidditch pitch.

I'm so unbelievably frustrated that everyone still continues to believe that Draco and I are a couple.

Oh my word, I just called him Draco. In my head, I know, but still… I really have to stop doing this.

Susan and I are walking to the quidditch pitch while having a contest to see who can take bigger steps. Of course I am winning because I always win at everything. Anyway, while walking Susan and I have put our superior intellect together to create a list that will enable us to survive this torturous physical education course. Not that we know that it will be torturous, but as with any class that is taught by Snape, it is a given. The first guideline on the list is to stay out of Snape's way. A rather logical bit of advice. Guideline number two is that if you do get into Snape's way, compliment him. Also a rather helpful bit of advice. Everyone loves compliments, and though Snape is definitely not a normal person, I'm sure he likes compliments as well. Guideline number three is to stay out of Snape's way as well. I'm sure that some might say this is redundant but then that is because they obviously haven't met the world's most hated professor.

All of the sixth and seventh years are gathered in the centre of the quidditch pitch anxiously waiting for Snape's usual dramatic appearance. Harry and I have a bet going today. Harry says that Snape will swish through us with his billowing black robes, parting us like Moses did the Red Sea, and will threaten to slowly strangle those who do not follow his instructions exactly. I say that Snape will storm in cursing everything in his path while muttering death threats towards Dumbledore.

Sadly we are both wrong. This is rather depressing, as this is only the seventh time I have been wrong in my entire life.

Once again Snape and Dumbledore arrive together. Dumbledore seems to be making animated conversation with a Snape that looks like he'd rather be neutering and spaying blast ended skrewts with chopsticks than be listening to Dumbledore's insane words. As usual Dumbledore is gesticulating madly, waving his hands in the air and making exaggerated facial expressions. As they come closer we can hear what they are saying.

"It's absolutely marvellous. Have you ever heard of this sport Severus?" Dumbledore questions Snape excitedly as all of us students lean closer to catch what sport it is that he's talking about.

"I'm sure it is," Snape says brusquely as if Dumbledore is a pesky fly that he is just itching to swat away. He takes a couple deep sniffs of the air with his abnormally large nose. "Do you smell something funny Albus," he asks distastefully.

"Oh I'm sorry Severus, I'll be sure to shower next time," apologizes Dumbledore as the rest of us exchange disgusted looks. Snape looks the most disgusted of all of us, but I don't really understand why, as he is the one who has hair that defies the laws of nature with its greasiness.

"Sorry I'm late professor," we hear a voice say, and we all turn around to see who it is. Ok I lied. I didn't have to turn around to see who it was because I recognized the voice like the time before.

There stands Ron Weasley, red in the face and panting.

"You're late Weasley," snaps Snape.

"Who died and made you Captain Obvious?" questions Harry.

"10 points fro-," starts Snape, but is interrupted by loud snorts of laughter coming from Dumbledore. Dumbledore is now red in the face and bent over, with tears of laughter streaming down his weathered old cheeks. I'm a bit worried for Dumbledore as he is pulling a Luna Lovegood right now. I think he is bomb happy.

"Sorry Professor, it's just that I was trying to do my dance," Ron pauses to demonstrate while I shield my virgin eyes once again. Luna seems to be enthralled though I notice with a shudder. "Anyway," Ron continues after being stopped by multiple groans and cries of 'stop before I kill myself to stop this horrid image from being fed to my brain', "I was trying to do my dance and put on my uniform at the same time and got my head stuck in the arm hole," Ron trails off feebly

Can that excuse get any lamer?

"Your stupidity is not my problem Weasley," comes Snape's rather rude response, which is met by sniggers by Malfoy.

"Can it be my problem?" enquires Luna in her usual dreamy voice.

Snape looks at her like she is from a different planet so Dumbledore replies instead.

"Of course Miss Lovegood, if you want it to be," he says pleasantly with a smile.

I don't even want to know what Luna meant. If you read between the lines, you would notice that Luna just asked if Ron could be her problem. I shudder at the thought, though I suppose that they would make a good couple. Ron has the stupidity and gullibility, while Luna is… well, a complete whack job. They compliment each other perfectly.

Harry, Susan, and I exchange weirded out glances.

"Very well then students, now is the moment you've all been waiting for," declares Dumbledore with a dramatic sweep of his purple starry sleeve.

I wonder what sport it is that we will be playing…

Rather abrupt ending I know, but I wanted to stop it there so I could break this up into two chapters. The next one will be coming very very soon so watch out for it. (if you like this story that is, though I don't think you would have read up to chapter five if you didn't)