Greetings readers. Here is another lightly amusing chapter. Err... well that's my goal at least. Anyhow, please REVIEW. I see all these people on my favorites and alerts list, but most of you don't seem to review. PLEASE DO.
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DISCLAIMER: Wow this gets tiring doing it for every chapter. Harry Potter own I don't. Yoda I do not either.
I have been thinking about my threatening note for a while now, and I have come to the decision that the only way to find out if the sender is Draco Malfoy is to observe him closely without his noticing.
"Erm…" intelligently responds Harry after I tell him this.
"Isn't that just a fancy way to say that you're going to spy on Draco," Susan wisely decodes with a sharp look.
"That's one way of looking at it…" I reluctantly agree.
"To tell you the truth, I don't think Draco wants to kill you, and he doesn't seem the type to send death threat messages," defends Susan. "I don't think I want to help. Draco is my friend after all."
"But Susan, I have to."
"Well good luck with that. Susan and I are working on a Divination project together, and we need to study in the library," Harry quickly says, shooting Susan a let's-get-out-of-here-before-she-drags-us-in-too look. To this Susan nods in what I suppose she believes to be a discreet manner and apologizes half-heartedly to me.
"Sorry Mione, maybe next time. Besides, you always have Ron."
"Uh thanks I suppose…" I trail off noticing Ron in a corner trying to put a band-aid on his right elbow with his left hand.
"UGH! Why weren't we born with three hands? If I had three, I could use two to put my band-aid on instead of just one," comes a frustrated outburst from Ron as he fails once more to complete his task.
I gave Susan and Harry a pointed look to demonstrate that I wasn't going to get much help from Ron.
"Well then… Say did you hear someone in the library calling my name?" asks Harry "I'm pretty sure I did, so I better go then," he continues before I can interrupt to tell him that it is almost impossible for him to hear somebody calling him in the library from the Gryffindor common room. With those final words, Harry grabs Susan's hand and they whip out of sight.
"So much for friendship," I mutter under my breath. Maybe Ronald will be more sensitive to my plight.
"Hey Ron! Do you want to do something fun?" I ask with a sickeningly sweet smile. Ron still preoccupied with his band-aid task does not notice my scary smile.
"Sure Hermy. You know that I love doing fun stuff," comes his reply as he jumps swiftly to his feet, pasting a happy grin on his face and discarding the offending band-aid on the floor. "Erm… what exactly are we doing?"
"We're going to pay our little friend Draco a visit," I reply in what I would like to think of as a sinister manner. Ronald doesn't catch my drift.
"Yay! You and Draco are finally friends," he cheers.
"Um… NO."
"But you just said you were."
"I most certainly did not."
"Alright, but if Draco is not your friend, why are we paying him a visit?"
Sometimes I think that the force that creates human beings messed up by giving Percy twice the Weasley brain cells and Ron only half of that of a normal person.
"Let's just go," I say frustrated, and I yank him out of the common room by his elbow. "By the way Ron, this is sort of like a game," I slowly explain as though Ron is a five-year-old boy. Well he does act like one so…
"Ooooh What are the rules?"
"Well, there's only one rule and that is that we can't be seen."
"I get it, we are going to spy.That sounds like fun."
"Oh believe me it is," I reassure with a tinkling laugh that sounds very unlike my own. "Now if you do see Malfoy, stick out your wand and mutter the charm where you are invisible to the person of your choice. In this case it would obviously be Malfoy." I add just for safety precautions.
"Ok."
This spying thing is sort of fun. Ronald and I have gotten all into it. I like to think I resemble James Bond when I do this. I laugh out loud at myself.
"Shhhhh," warns Ron as he flattens himself against the wall and ducks. I follow his moves, crouching low and scanning the hallway with my wand.
"I hear someone coming," whispers Ron as he simultaneously writes in the air with his wand that we should be ready to use our charm soon. "One the count of three. One…Two…Three."
AAAAAAAAAAARG
"I am SO sorry," I apologize profusely to a petrified first year. Apparently the person coming around the corner was not Draco Malfoy, but a midget of a first year innocently strolling down the corridor. Ron and I pretty much scared the crap out of the poor guy as we both sprang up and jabbed our wands at the little squirt.
"Dddon't worry. Ittt's ok," Little Squirt (as I have dubbed him) stutters and scampers from our sight.
Well that went rather well.
"I don't like this game anymore," states Ron crossing his arms in defiance. "It's no fun."
"Oh come on Ron it is fun. Besides you shouldn't feel bad that we scared Little Squirt."
But of course, I forget that Ronald is so easily amused.
"HARHARHAR you call him Little Squirt?"
"I do believe that is what I named him."
"It sounds like those names Native Americans have."
"I suppose so," I agree tentatively not liking where this conversation is going at all.
"Well my name in Native American-ese would be… Swift Wolf," Ron informs me with a dreamy look in his eyes.
"Erm…no. I do believe that name would be reserved for Remus."
"Why can't I be the wolf for once. Is that too much to ask for?" demands Ron stubbornly with a stamp of his feet.
"Don't be such a baby Ronald."
"Fine. I can be Good Quidditch Player."
"How about you can be Stupid Wanker."
"Oh yeah, then you can be Lame-o Game Maker Upper."
"EXCUSE me. My game was not lame."
"Yes it was because guess what? We just LOST," yells Ron triumphantly pointing a finger at me with a gleam in his eye.
I whip around to see Malfoy looking at me with a smirk on his face. My expression melts into one of horror as Malfoy casually waves a small wave and walks over, hands in his pockets.
"Lame-o Game Maker Upper?" he questions with a raised eyebrow. "What were you playing?"
"Oh we were-" starts Ron.
"We were pretending to be-" I attempt to cut Ron off, but he cuts me off halfway through my sentence.
"Sp-"
I cough loudly in order to mask Ron's explanation.
"I'm sorry can you repeat that? I didn't quite catch it," queries Malfoy with a genuinely puzzled expression pasted on his face.
"Spoons," I say quickly.
"No Hermy, that wasn't what we were doing. We were-"
"SO MALFOY," I hastily yell loudly to cover up Ron. "What would you choose your Native American name to be if you could have one?"
Thankfully Malfoy just shrugs off my strangeness, and Ron is completely oblivious with my quick subject change, as he seems genuinely interested in what Malfoy would pick.
"I would choose Courageous Sphinx."
"I always knew you were a big pussy," I joke with a proud smile at my joke making abilities
HARHARHARHAR
Ron is finding this joke extremely funny and gives me an appreciative slap on the back that knocks the wind out of me.
"Oh yeah, well you should be… Geeky Bint," Malfoy lamely attempts to match my wit. This is an impossible task, and I inform him of this.
"I can so match your wit. Just watch I'll get revenge for this. Don't forget, I still have the rumour on my side," he reminds with another smirk and stomps away dignifiedly.
I groan at the reminder of the rumour that I am head over heels in love with Malfoy.
There is a short moment of silence as I wallow in self-pity. My whole spying plan is completely ruined for today. I didn't find out if Malfoy was the note sender or not. Plus, I think I have hit a dead end when it comes to Malfoy, because I am starting to doubt that he is the note sender. As Susan said, he doesn't seem the type, and he was nice to me just now until I insulted him. In fact, I'm almost 100 sure that Malfoy isn't the sender, and I'll have to start my search from scratch. ARGH. Why is he being so nice to me all of a sudden? Am I starting to like him as a friend? Why can't I just accept it?
"I'm sorry I called you a Lame-o Game Maker Upper," sheepishly apologizes Ron. "Your game wasn't that lame."
Aaaaw. That is actually a sweet apology as it is coming from Ron.
"It's okay Ron. And you aren't really a wanker."
"Whaddaya say we go scare some pigeons in the pumpkin patch to celebrate our truce?"
"That sounds fun Ronald, really but…" I cringe at the images of Ron maniacally waving his arms and yelling 'you little buggers can't beat the Ron-sta'. "How about we go find Susan and Harry in the library instead. We could work on Operation Go Sloth some more."
Ron merely gives me a blank look at the words 'Operation Go Sloth'.
"Remember? Go Sloth? The one where we get Harry and Susan together?"
"Yes, yes. Of course I do," Ron attempts to convince me with an exaggerated wave of his hand.
"You don't remember do you?"
"No," Ron shamefacedly admits.
"It's just as well," I remark with a sigh. "I thought as much at breakfast when you couldn't remember what our code word for defenestrate was."
"Defenestrate. HEEHEE." For the love of Merlin make Ron stop. He is convulsing in giggles once again.
"Ron, I just might take back that comment about you not being a wanker…" I warn with a threatening finger.
"Sorry."
"Anyway, Why were you trying to put a band-aid on your elbow?" I ask amiably as we mosey down over to the library.
"STOP. We must be going to the Room of Requirement. Remember Minnie's drug addiction meeting? It's five o'clock right now."
"Okay Ron. Now tell me out about your wounded elbow." We turn around and start walking towards the Room of Requirement.
"I got a boo boo."
"Let me see."
Ron proudly shoves his wounded elbow under my nose. Strangely, the wound is in an odd shape, and it seems somewhat familiar…
"How did you get this Ronald?"
"Ahem… erm… well… you see, I was walking down the corridor when I heard a scream," Ron pauses for dramatic effect. "I rushed over to see what had happened, and I saw Neville being attacked by a furious Filch with a peeler. Just as Filch was about to peel Neville alive, I threw myself in front of him and got nicked on the elbow by Filch," Ron relates, getting more and more excited as he continues with his story. He finishes out of breath, eyes glinting.
"Ronald," I say in a fake agreeable tone. "Would you like to tell me the truth?"
"What are you on? I am telling the truth," replies a panicky Ron who is now frantically darting his eyes about and breathing loudly through his nose.
"Filch is on leave to take Mrs. Norris to a healer. Remember you set of a Weasley Whiz-Bang and burned off her tail?"
"Erm did I say Filch? I meant Snape."
"Ronald Weasley, I know for a fact that you can only get that kind of burn wound from a spell. Specifically from trying to open something that has been charmed locked. You wouldn't have been trying to open your sister's diary would you?"
Ron looks like he's about to pee in his trousers.
"I'm sorry Hermione, I won't ever do it again I promise," pleads Ron with imploring eyes. "I learned my lesson. My boo boo really hurts," he continues with a puppy dug pout.
"Fine Ron." What can I say? It's impossible not to give in to those ah-dorable puppy eyes. "Next time, Please do not feed me some cock and bull story. Just tell me the truth. Okay Ronald?"
"Cock and bull story. Cock," chortles Ron trying to suppress his giggles with his hand. I simply roll my eyes and pull open the door to the Room of Requirement. Boys can be so immature.
Everyone in Gryffindor and many Slytherins have showed up for the meeting. What a strange combination. Before the defeat of Voldemort this would have been unheard of, but strangely there is some inter-house unity now. Key word: some.
Ron walks up to the front of the room and clears his throat. "We are here today to discuss our dear Minnie's addiction to drugs. Our goal is to bring Minnie back from the dark side. Any questions?" Ronald presents in a very impressive business like fashion. He actually seems to be dead serious about this, as do many other people in the room. Susan and Harry are nodding gravely in agreement to Ron's words. I have come to the conclusion that I am surrounded by crazy people.
Blaise raises his hand. "I have a question. Will we get in trouble?"
Ron shakes his head condescendingly with a determined look. "If we do, remember that this is for a good cause, and this is a risk we should be willing to take for our professor's well being."
"True, chief," salutes Blaise.
"Now, our first step is to make posters to stick on the walls. I was thinking they should have slogans like 'Drugs make you look like bugs', or 'Don't do drugs Minnie, we all think you're skinny. Don't be depressed about your weight.', or maybe even 'COME BACK FROM THE DARK SIDE PROFESSOR MCG. Drugs are bad'. It doesn't really matter, you guys can do whatever you want," Ron dictates in a casual manner. He screws his eyes up in concentration, and poster making materials appear in front of everyone. After all this is the Room of Requirement.
Everyone scrambles to work, and I actually see people frowning in concentration to create slogans for their posters. Am I the only one here who thinks this is a big joke?
I look at the blank sheet of poster paper in front of me, and quickly scribble out a slogan 'don't do drugs'. Then I decorate it with pictures of smiley suns as they are the only things I can draw properly. After I finish this, I scan the room to see people still working diligently on their posters. Even Draco and Blaise are focusing intently on finishing theirs. I decide to colour my suns in and do so painstakingly. Staying inside the lines isn't as easy as people make it out to be. I finish and look at my masterpiece with pride.
"Those are cute suns, but they make it seem like drugs are happy things," points out Susan.
"I'm not talking to you," I huff.
"Why? Because Harry and I didn't help you spy?"
"No, because you're always right. I don't think the note sender is Malfoy either." I take great care to say Malfoy, making sure the word Draco doesn't slip from my lips.
"Aaaw, don't worry Mione. Me, Harry, and Ron will help you find the real sender, kill them, and bring them back to clean the mess."
"Harry, Ron and I," I correct with a sigh. "I don't think we'll ever find the sender. I mean, I can't even think of any suspects."
"Don't worry we'll figure it out," consoles Susan.
"Yeah right," I mutter under my breath as Ron coming over to check on our progress distracts her.
"These are great guys!" exclaims Ron excitedly. "I almost forgot, we should find out what drug Minnie is really on and exactly why she is doing them. For that we will need a couple of spies. Kind of like what Hermy and I were doing today with D-"
"ALL RIGHT, who wants to be the spies?" I quickly cut Ron off.
"Me! Me! Oh pleeeease pick me!" begs Blaise bouncing on his toes.
"Okay Blaise you can be Agent X," appoints Ron.
"Can I be Agent B for Blaise?"
"How about agent Z for Zabini?"
"Okay," compromises Blaise.
"Now who would like to be Blaise's partner?" implores Ron.
"I guess I'll have to chaperone him," sighs Draco running a hand through his hair.
"Great, you can be Agent Courageous Sphinx," smiles Ron remembering Draco's desire for that Native American name.
Draco looks thrilled at this.
"I think we need one more person to help them. Someone experienced in this field…" Ron puts on his thinking face.
"I know Hermy, you can help them! You were great at this stuff today."
"Sure Ron. What should my code name be?" I say quickly to draw attention away from the fact that I was spying today.
"You can be Agent Defenestrate Demon. DD for short."
"Yippee," I sarcastically, pumping my fist in fake glee.
"Well folks, I think we did well today," comments Ron. "Now all we have to do is put these posters up. I suggest we all sneak out after curfew to do this so that nobody else will see them until tomorrow morning. Well then, I guess this meeting is over… Meeting dismissed. Oh and don't forget to put up the posters after curfew."
As people file out of the room chattering excitedly about how successful this whole operation of helping 'Minnie' is going to be, I stay back and watch them jabber with amusement.
I simply can't wait to see McGonagall's face tomorrow morning. My gut feeling is it will definitely be a Kodak moment. I should definitely remember to bring my camera to breakfast tomorrow…
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