Joey felt awkward. Yugi smelled different today. And not the pleasant sort of different like a thirteen year old child that finally starts regularly using deodorant. The horrible sort of different like he had just stuck his nose behind Yugi's balls after gym class. Cept he wasn't doing that (today, anyway). He was just eating his lunch with him in the cafeteria. He didn't deserve this kind of abuse. He decided to speak up.
"Yugi, it's bad enough that I have herpes, but why dyou have to smell like that today?"
Yugi glared up at him. "It's my new vanilla caramel mint lotion. Don't tell me it doesn't smell like awesome or I'll fucking kick you in the face."
"Well, whatever. It smells like ass. And you wouldn't kick me in the face. I know you."
But the fact of the matter was that Joey did not Yugi. He did not know Yugi at all. Yugi kicked pregnant women in the face on weekends. But it's all good because in a few months, Yugi will get Joey's herpes (so you can stop right there if you were thinking about flaming this story for that, you fucking shit.)
"I had sex with your mom last night," Yugi said quietly.
"Way to go, champ," Joey congratulated half-heartedly. He wasn't in the mood to talk about their weekends. He was in the mood for one thing, and one thing only, and you know what that is ladies.
Duel Monsters.
After a hot round of naked lovesex. But Joey never knew how to work around the herpes problem. Every night he pleasured himself with the one carrot that got him through seven international farmer's market competitions. Joey only had sex with the best, and he knew, with a whole living room of trophies as proof, that this carrot was a winner. But Joey was suspish because he thinks that the whole herpes thing was contracted from the carrot. He regretted that the carrot and him had not had safesex that one wild night when they just went for it. Joey washes the carrot more frequently now, just in case any other sexually transmitted diseases of love decided to come between the carrot and him. But for now, he can be proud of these herpes.
Yugi gulped down some milk and munched on his pie. "You shouldn't come over tonight."
"Why not? It's not because of the herpes, is it?" Joey was so proud of his herpes, in fact, that he tried to bring it up as much as possible.
"No. It's something worse."
"Oh well, Carrot and I…"
"No, Joey! It's about me… I'm a wereporcupine."
…TO BE CONTINUED! OMG R&R!