Chapter 9 Silence that screams

The next morning didn't go excactly how Tyson excpected it, nor had the night before. His head hurt as he rolled over onto his stomach feeling around for the snooze button on the alarm clock. But instead of hitting finding the alarm his hand landed on something that should not have been in his bed. A person.

And it wasn't just any person, it was an amazingly curvry gorgous person. The first thought that poped in his head was Hillary, but the amazing feeling didn't stay in his stomach very long when he realized that the woman was no Hillary. She had long blond hair, that sweapt down her back, and murky blue eyes and an expression Tyson coudln't quite desifer, almost a clueless look.

He moved his lips and at first no words came out, finally after several attempts he managed to stutter some words, at the same time trying to rember the prior night. "Do you, ah, remember?" He felt dumb struck, and horrably ashamed. The girl, sat upright in just a bra and underwear, this made Tyson a little nervouse. Then again, most likely he saw her with out the bra and underwear last night...

The girl giggled, "Yeah, a little bit. We had danced a few times earlier on in the night and then you came and found me...you seemed upset," With a slight wink she added, "But you didn't stay mad for very long." Tyson felt his stomach turn, this couldn't be happening. He had enough problems with Miyako and Hillary, he didn't need a fan girl complicating things. But it seemed to be to late, this were already complicated.

Tyson shot up, his face turning bright red when he realized he was wearing his plaid Edmonton Oilers hockey pajama pants, but he didn't waste any time feeling emberessed. He began rumaging through the room, finding variouse articals of clothing that the girl had scattered about the room, oh God, he thought to himself, I dont even know her name.

Pushing the thought of throwing up to the back of his head, he through the cloths on the bed. "You need to get dressed, leave and never mention this to any one ever again." He turned around while she changed, his head spinning with thoughs.

He rememberd walking out to the balcony to talk with Hillary, but she couldn't talk because...she was sucking face with that Jordan guy! Everything came back to Tyson, the champagne and rum&coke, all the pain in the pit of his stomach, the feeling of wanting to drown it out.

"I ah, im done," murmered the girl, Tyson swung around, opening the door and pushing her out into the hotel hall way. "Sorry, im not usually like this." Then again, usually he didn't make mistakes as big as sleeping with fan girls when he could barly get a friend off his mind.

Everything was wrong, things like this weren't supose to keep happening. All the things in his life were going to get easier, they had been getting easier. And then, SMACK, all the troubles he had been running from or holding back hit him right across the face.

He glanced at the clock, it was 11:30, he bladed at six tonight. It wasn't even a second thought, he needed help. He needed his brothers help, damn, he hadn't even seen his brother last night.

With out putting on a shirt first, he swung open the door that ajoined the rest of his friend's rooms together. Rei was sitting on the delux couch with Mariah, watching some kind of Japanese TV program. Max and Kenny were playing cards at the kitchenette table, and Kie like usual, was no where in sight.

"I need your help" muttered Tyson, pulling his hand over his rough unshaved face. Every one looked up, "The joy of ajoining rooms," hissed Kenny to Max. Tyson glarred in thier direction, and when they saw he was seriouse they all seemed to straighten up some and pay a little bit closer attention.

Tyson made his way over to the big green chair, and sunk down in it. He felt dizzy and sick, not from the hang over, but from his actions. "You don't look so good..." analized Mariah, standing up and putting a hand over Tyson's forehead. She shrugged, he didn't have a fever, even though his skin was a ghoustly white.

"Well? What is it?" pressed Kenny, setting his hand of cards face down on the table. There was something stuck at the back of Tyson's throat, and he knew that it was the truth. "I, i did something i shouldn't have."

Every one in the room looked at one and other, wondering if their fearless leader shot some one and hid the body. "It was so stupid, and i, i cant believe i did it! I mean, im supose to be dating Miyako...and even though it's not real, i care so much about Hillary..." His voice trailed off and he flung his head to the back of the chair and closed his eyes.

Mariah knew emidently what he was talking about, and an anger burnt deep inside of her stomach, she wanted to punch Tyson until he blead. But something inside of her body shut off, and something turned on. Maybe it was the sympathy switch, who knows but when she saw Tyson's sad tired eyes a part of her wanted to break inside.

"Rei, i think ah...he slept with some one." The whisper hurt her throat, not only for herself but for Hillary and Tyson, because once the truth was spoke there was no going back.

No one knew quite what to say, how to comfort Tyson, how to tell him what an ass whole he is. So they just sat there, pretending that small tears weren't coming from the corners of the 4 time champions eyes.

So they just sat there, they sat there until Kie came in and sat with them, then they sat some more. And it was good, because it gave Tyson some comfort while he thought how he was going to tell her, the silence was screaming the answer but he couldn't hear it. It was silent.

They sat until three o'clock, well ocasioanlly some one would fall asleep. And when the clock struck three, it was like time was up. The time for Tyson to feel okay about himself was gone, because the world wouldn't let him pretened any longer.

Hillary opened the door, her face was red and her eyes puffy and it looked like she had been crying for a whole eternity, and in her world it was. She was crying inside, and the way things were going latly it seemed like she would always be crying.

She forced her voice out, it was shaky and cold but it was effective. "Get out." Refusing to look at the any one, she stared at the floor as every one filed out slowly. The only people left in the room were Hillary and her greatest demise, Tyson.

He was still sitting in the chair, his whole body numb, everything excpet his heart. That stung, it stung for himself and for Hillary.

Hillary sat down on the couch, Tyson managed to talk his legs into letting him stand so he could go sit at the other end of the couch. The silence was screaming again, and this time he could hear it loud and clear, and he wanted so badly to ignore it or make it go away.

The emotions foarmed a shield around the two, so nothing could get in and nothing could get out and when Hillary knew that it was like this, she began to speak in a low whisper. "I found out...i overheard some girls talking about it downstairs in the dinning room."

Tyson wanted to beat that girl upside the head, did the words 'dont talk about it' not register in her head? But he knew deep down inside, past all the things he was feeling, that he could only blame it on himelf. No one else.

"Hills, im so-" she cut him off like a train cutting off a car. "You lost the right to call me Hills." That stung, but he continued on because there was nothing else for him to do. "I know we never want to say it, how we feel. And that's partly my fault i guess, i know you and i see the real you but im never able to tell you..."

This time, his face stung, because she smacked him across it so hard Tyson thought she must be lifting weights. It frightened her, the way she had no control over herself when she was around him and she grabbed her hand feeling slightly ashamed of herself.

She knew where he came from, the violence, she didn't like reminding him. Hillary sighed deep, still clutching her hand, "I...im sorry. I just don't understand anything any more. I dont understand us."

Tyson knew that feeling, one he wished many times before that he didn't. It was like cheating, watching her from afar, studying her. He knew what she was thinking, and she had no clue.

It was like a reflex, once he got his thoughts together, which suprisngly didn't take that long, he reached for her hand, his fingers touched her own, and at first it seemed as though there was surrender in mind, but she pulled away, and that's when he saw it.

The sleeve on her black long sleeved rocker shirt, slid up, revealing the cuts and scars that covered her wrist. He felt like throwing up, but his face twisted into a smile and she wanted to hit him again but she obtained herself, instead just letting the tears run down her cheeks as he brushed his thumb over them.

"That's it. There was something holding you from me, just this one part of you i couldn't figure out and that's why i was so scared to just say how i felt. Hillary...i am deeply and madly in love with you." He stopped his thumb motion on her cuts, and waited for a reaction.

She was still crying, when she looked up it seemed as though she was frightened in more ways that one. "Even-" her voice was shaky and jagged, "Even though i...my wrists? Your not...ashamed of me...?" Tyson's relieved face turned into a frown and with out even letting his brain think about it he embraced her in a hug, pushing her hair out of her face and stroking her head.

Hillary cried into his shoulder, until it seemed there were no tears left to cry. Taking her head off his shoulders, she let Tyson look at her face. Her bright green eyes were full of pain, but it seemed to be clearing, and he did what he had wanted to do for three years. He kissed her.

The silent screaming filled the room, this time with noise of closure and pain of the past.