He needed to catch his breath. Once again Sirius didn't spend the night at Hogwarts, breaking all the rules he'd agreed with the Marauders, but he just couldn't be in the confined space where even the air now seemed heavy to him. Settling right on the edge of his consciousness, so heavily ingrained with the obsessive thought that she was the cause of his insomnia. She was the cause of his plans that had never come to fruition.
And it wasn't even her fault. Because it was all his own idea, wasn't it? His stupid head, capable of taking all his stuff and running away from his parents' house, showing his temper, but incapable of rational thought while this girl was in the castle.
Sirius sat down on the bench of the lawn in front of one of the entrances to the Castle and coughed, panting slightly. It was time he listened to Remus and his incessant attempts to get him to quit smoking. But Muggle smoke, passing through his lungs with one breath and exiting with all his thoughts in another, was his salvation.
Leaning back and clasping his hands behind his head, his body tried to relax, but suddenly tensed, sensing someone else nearby. His reaction was instantaneous - Sirius had his wand pointed at the intruder in a second after his morning run.
Could it be said that fate mocked him? Definitely.
"Good morning, can't sleep either?" her soft and slightly sleepy voice decided to fill his mind with the arrival of the sun?
Well. That's great. Fucking great.
Sirius' dark pupils reached her not even frightened eyes, while his narrowed with curiosity and he slowly lowered his wand.
"How did you know I was here?" threw an irritated look at her, the boy.
Hermione stopped right in front of him, not wanting to give away her answer or consider her best option. The pause lingered.
"Never mind, I never thanked you for..."
"I what, what? Summoned you from another continent? From a past life? I still don't know what the hell happened." He'd never been so blatantly rude to a girl before. Except yesterday in the library, where he'd been victimized again by... her.
But this girl just wanted to be pushed as far away from him as possible, like her brown eyes, shooting lightning bolts at him, and that face that leaned sideways after a deep exhale, showing that she understood. She understood everything.
She saw right through him. And not many people could do that. It was as if they'd known each other for years...
"Look, don't take this the wrong way, but... why are you still in the Castle? You have nowhere else to go? No one to go back to?" He was already reaching for a new light, and it flickered from between his fingers almost immediately.
"So are you, Sirius, aren't you?" The girl was brave and she knew how to sass, not bad. "I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you that we're not all as welcome somewhere else as we are at Hogwarts. This is my... home. It will be. Will be my home," she shook her head from side to side, as if she were chasing some thought away. Her posture stiffened. Her hands clutched at the sleeves of her oversized sweatshirt.
Is she afraid of him?
After a lingering pause, her voice sounded more detached.
"The place I could go back to is gone."
Silence seemed like the best answer for him right now, because all that was coming out of his mouth lately were shitty words.
He looked at her. Cautiously. And she smiled at him, as if browsing through the wizarding photos with her happy memories.
Sirius caught himself thinking that she was the type of girl whose smile was addictive. He'd say he thought she was beautiful. He'd even say he was glad to see her. Glad to see that warm sadness in her smooth swaying movements, in her eyes, in the accumulated tears she was trying her best to hide right now.
Is it normal for him to want to hug her? What had just happened anyway? Was his mind and whole body electrocuted by a simple smile and a somewhat sad story?
Padfoot is out of shape. But did he want to be different? He's not sure.
Sirius stood up and stepped closer, throwing a dark, coarse coat over the little one. He continued to stare even more quietly. Afraid to frighten her, he lowered his hand beside hers, gently touching the tips of a few fingers as if to set the direction to lift a little higher and slip it into his sleeve. One was ready.
All that was audible now was her breathing. He ran away from it, hiding behind her back to thread the second one through already, lifting the rest of her coat, which she was sinking into a little.
Fragile. Not his. Gotta be even more careful, they might be seen, and he doesn't want that at all. Neither does she.
With one last glance at the coat-clad girl of his friend, he moved toward the entrance to the Castle without saying anything back to her. He'd think of a phrase later. And he would. In the evening, in his bedroom, staring at the ceiling, ignoring James' indignation that he had to buy a new coat again.
Who the hell is she?
Under that motto went most of the rest of his day, several lessons, and now at the meal in the Great Hall, he couldn't help but think that he hadn't told her something important. That he was missing something.
Also, this Moony, who has been stalking him for the third day for a "serious" conversation under the moon, does not avert his heavy gaze in any way.
"What have you heard about that case? Was there any more news?" Padfoot asked Wormtail.
Peter clearly didn't expect the question to be addressed to him, he almost choked on his juice, perked up, and quickly spat out:
"Muggles don't talk much about the problem. I've dug through every source I know, but it's basically the same everywhere. It was a family. Green Street House. Two girls heard voices, then started noticing something strange. Reporters, like ours, are forever on the prowl, calling someone for comment, but everyone agrees that the Muggles are just crazy. That's the whole story."
Padfoot noticed the one who had been taking all of his attention for the third day enter the Hall, and quickly turned away. But, of course, it didn't go unnoticed.
"Prongs, no, shut up, don't even think about it," Sirius sounded rude, and turning his whole body toward his friends, mentally building a wall between himself and her, as the girl sat down almost next to him across the four people opposite.
How did he count the people between them so quickly? He didn't know in his heart. That's what frightened him.
"What about me? I just wanted to offer you some citrus from across the table, didn't I?" James reached exactly in that direction, and Sirius already knew where this was going. "Oh, what a pity. I can't get it. And it's kind of indecent to pick up a wand at the table, too. Hermione! Hey, Hermione!" That guy was pretty enthusiastic.
"Yeah? James, right?" Great, she's already learned all his friends' names.
"Yeah, baby. You can serve some citrus right in front of you. Yes!" James reached across the table, but his face contorted so strangely that any Muggle actor would have envied him. "Oh, Sirius, can you help me?"
Fuck. He knew it.
Throwing a furious look in Prongs direction, Sirius turned sharply and stared directly at Hermione's small palm, which held the damned orange. So bright it was burning his eyes with its desire to touch his hand.
Sirius liked citrus. But he didn't like to impose. And definitely didn't want to have an affair with a girl who was rumored to be a ghost.
He leaned forward slightly, calculating how to place his fingers so he wouldn't touch her hand even a millimeter, but... James. Of course he did.
A jolt. A hand brushes sharply against her palm. She shrank back a little, as if she, too, had just been struck by a shock. Sirius is already plotting in his head how to tear Prongs' body apart right on the next full moon.
The citrus is in his hand. He nodded slightly in her direction in gratitude, still not looking up from her eyes. And they were beautiful as hell.
Fuck!
"Ahem," Moony decided to forestall the consequences of a future war and continued the conversation, "and yet we can't rule out the odd coincidence that it happened on Samhain night. This year. And in the very house from which this shaggy-haired man had stolen the trunk.
How did he know about the chest? Sirius is being careless this year.
"It's written all over your face, you idiot," Remus answered his mute question. "You wouldn't be so interested if you hadn't put that puzzle together in your stupid head before. And no more sneaking out at night. Without us," his voice sounded more serious than usual. Sometimes Remus could substitute for all their fathers, who were certainly not doing their job of raising socially respected wizards.
And why had the discussion of their plans been taking place at the table lately? Sirius returned to the subject.
"So, what do we have? We got an address. We have an estimate of how many people are in the house. Or... not people. No work tonight, so we can be out by 7:00 to get back before midnight. We'll take the board with us. And a trunk. Let Peter carry it. We'll have to get my bike started and somehow squeeze in so..."
"Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa. Where you going, puppy?" James was getting more and more frustrated today.
What had he and Lily been up to the other night, left alone on the Quidditch field, since he was getting so brave? She's a bad influence on him. The decent head girl from Gryffindor is a bad influence on his dorky friend. Who would have thought?
"If you don't like my plan..."
" Oh, so that was the plan? I'm sorry, I couldn't make it out after I said we were leaving at what time? 7:00?"
"Yes!" Black clearly didn't catch the jab in his direction, or just didn't give it away, still confident in his adventure for the evening.
James turned to Remus, and Sirius was already thinking about what he'd missed between the two of them since he didn't understand their brief glances.
"We're in," they said almost simultaneously.
"Who would have doubted it - his orange was already half eaten."
Luckily, it was almost time for the next class, and the focus of all the students was on discussing some homework that Sirius hadn't really gotten into this year. He'd already made up his mind that he was going somewhere in the world right after graduation, and high OWLs didn't really interest him. He caught sight of the dark mop of hair again, and a shiver of irritation ran down his neck and down his back.
Her eyes were tightly closed for some reason, and she pinched the bridge of her nose.
Sirius continued to watch as her tight-fitting white shirt felt like it was constricting her throat, and Hermione loosened the collar slightly, undoing one of the buttons. She still hadn't opened her eyes. Wasn't anyone noticing this? I mean, the girl could barely breathe! Or she's having a panic attack. Or worse... My brain was already conjuring up all kinds of events and illnesses it had read out this summer in one of James's mother's magazines.
At that moment he realized that Hermione really was like a ghost. No one noticed her. No one spoke to her. No one sat with her in class. No one was paying attention to the new girl at the desk except him. A loose strand of hair fell on her forehead, and he noticed her lifting her shoulders high again, trying to inhale deeply.
He hadn't seen her so... grown up before. Her face definitely looked older than all of them now, like it seemed more... filled out and more haggard. Hiding something dark.
She opened her eyes sharply, meeting his irises with hers. She didn't look away, but reached for a glass of water. Sirius rose quickly from his seat, ignoring all the inhibitions inside his frantic head, walked around the table, and in a few moments was already standing behind her.
"What do you want?" Hermione turned toward him, sounding a little more demanding than usual, but her gaze was still unfocused.
" Get up," he took her around the elbow for the second time that day, pulling her up, holding her gently around the waist. He picked up her bag and simply nodded to the guys at the table, who glanced in their direction with concern. He led her out of the Great Hall, down the corridor further to the left, and then stopped at one of the offices.
Sirius was still holding her elbow, not daring to take her hand, which seemed more intimate to him. Hermione, on the other hand, did not voice or express her disagreement. Sirius pushed open the door, which immediately yielded to him, and stepped forward decisively, pulling the girl behind him. Glancing around, he let go of her hand, stepping back a few steps to the very wall that now led outside, one of the Marauders' secret trapdoors.
Yeah, the guys would probably nail him for declassifying the move in front of the first girl they saw, but she needed it. She needed to get out of the Castle unnoticed and get some air. The courtyard was now filled with students. The lawn right in front of the big gate was also packed with junior classes.
"Coming?" he said quietly to her, moving closer again and nudging her toward the open door. She nodded. Good. So we'll keep quiet, then. It was even easier for Sirius this way.
He led her quickly through the tunnel, turning a couple of times to be near the exit to the Lake. A few minutes later, Hermione leaned her head back and looked up into the sky, breathing deeply into the icy gusts of November air.
They stood like that for another ten minutes before she could speak.
"Thank you," the words sounded so simple that he wanted to hear more from her. Some kind of explanation? What the hell was going on with her? Why was she running out of the Great Hall for the second day, even though it wasn't of her own volition today?
But he couldn't demand that. Sirius was no longer a child, he understood everything, though he didn't like to draw conclusions on his own.
Black cast a warming spell over himself and her, doing her that favor for the second time that day for some reason. And it was a favor, for few had witnessed his kindness. He'd grown so frustrated with people so long ago that he only trusted his gang, of which Peter had bothered him slightly this year, Remus had constantly annoyed him with concern, and James had just acted like a lovestruck jerk.
For the first time all day he had words for her.
"You can use the crawlspace if you still want to get out of this madhouse. Anytime," he wouldn't look her in the eye now, but he had to, to inspire a modicum of trust.
"Thank you," the girl nodded again.
Well, Black. It's not bad that she's talking to you at all after that interrogation you gave her in the library the day before yesterday. If it hadn't been for James and Lily... Their conversation would have ended on a better note.
He was about to reach for a cigarette, but realized he'd left his bag on the bench, and the new pack - the second of the day - still hadn't been opened to be in his pocket.
The girl slumped straight down on the grass, crouching down on her school robe.
"Would you ever want to fly a dragon?" he suddenly asked seriously, squatting down in front of her. It was a silly question, but it was the first thing they'd discussed with James when they'd met freshman year and escaped to this lake. It was one of the few warm memories for him from that time.
The girl laughed. Not the effect Black had expected from her words. She was straight up hooting.
"Did I say something funny?" he tried to get a closer look at her face while he had the chance.
"Oh, sorry," the girl brought her breathing back to normal, exhaling sharply through her mouth several times.
"Stop apologizing to me. That's the second time today.
"Sorr... Yeah. I've just flown the dragon before, you know. I have," the confession came so easily from her lips, and he stared dumbfounded at the frail girl in front of him, who was hiding her tear-puffed eyes behind her curls. "It's a long story, next time."
"You're full of secrets, you know," he lifted himself, motioning for her to stand up as well. Again by the elbow. And with just a light touch.
She nodded at his compliment. And it was a compliment, because that was what attracted Sirius to her. Most likely. He hadn't figured out what it was yet, himself.
They headed toward the Castle, giving one fourth-year student a slap on the wrist and offering broomstick lessons to a boy from Ravenclaw. He was in the middle of a conversation with the Puffundu headmaster to choose a Christmas band, and he gave the Gryffindors a few high-fives in the corridor.
"And you're popular," Hermione remarked, stopping before entering the classroom for their next class, since they had missed the previous one.
"Black, you know, famous last name in our circles. I don't know where you're from, but being Black here is kind of like winning the Muggle lottery. When the whole world is waiting for the coveted balloons, and you're the guy who didn't even buy a lottery ticket, but they bring you out of the audience, congratulating and complimenting you."
"You made your point," she said, but she seemed to be thinking about something. Black had often noticed this behavior in Remus, and they were similar in some ways.
He just leaned against the wall opposite, stretching his long arms up, kneading his shoulders a little, which were sore from yesterday's unplanned workout, and, turning his thoughts back to the hallway, didn't notice her beside him.
" Is everything all right?" That question had been coming out of Remus' mouth too often lately.
"God, yes, stop asking me how I'm doing. I feel like your girl you're just looking for an excuse to talk to," he grabbed the bag from Peter's hands irritably and moved toward the office.
"But it is, isn't it," James winked at the two of them, choosing a seat next to Lily. How did the redhead ever take it?
Transfiguration, as always, went by automatically. Sirius didn't even get into the essence of what was going on. Charms flew by just as quickly for him, then Herbology, and finally he could have a lot of fun on DADA, because the pair were paired with slugs.
He had a lot of energy. Sirius even considered becoming an Auror sometimes, and imagined James' face when he talked about that choice after school, uh, he would just have a stroke. After all, it was just another excuse to compete. And a couple more years around in his company. It was time for Lily to start getting jealous.
The room was set up as a dueling ground, with a low rise in the center and benches along the edges. The curtains on the windows were drawn, and several clumps of students were already standing in a semicircle, waiting for the teacher. In the crowd, he caught a glimpse of a shade of brown, the owner of which was standing a little away from the others, and decided not to pay much attention to it. The Slytherins were his target right now. And the discharge of negativity that was building up and periodically boiling up inside.
Black was sometimes startled by the strange dark energy coursing through his veins. He didn't look inside himself very often, but he suspected that it was either genes or an animagic form that required an outlet.
The headmaster stepped out into the center of the hall, wondering what Dumbledore was doing here today? Black respected him at least for putting up with the Marauders and could have kicked them out of the school a dozen times already. A dozen times each. But the Professor and Headmaster in one person remained more loyal to them than many others, not counting McGonagall and her strange hyper-power over Potter.
He stepped into the makeshift dueling arena, and the cheering and whistling of Gryffindors could be heard on all sides. No one was hiding who the favorites were, were they?
"Dueling Club Code" stated that first semester duels between the faculties began, during which the use of unforgivable was prohibited, but anything else was allowed, even minor cuts, mutilations, and a couple of fractures that some particularly annoying Slytherins received.
"Welcome to our dueling competitions. Just a reminder that the strongest students will battle it out at the end of the month in the main battle! May fortune be on your side. Tonight, in the absence of my teacher, I would like to do an exhibition match. Not for credit. Bartemius Crouch and Hermione Granger!"
What? He didn't hear it? Did they say her name? What the...
He glanced over at Remus, who wasn't happy about what was going on either, because everyone knew Crouch was good. Very good. He was the best in their course, the one who could easily pass OWLs and NEWTs in this subject right now.
To even louder whistles and hooting, the girl was already up on stage, holding her wand at the ready.
"Wands at the ready!" The voice of the temporary arbiter of today's battle, amplified by Amplifying Charm, commanded. The hall fell silent, all attention focused on the duelists. Especially the ghostly Gryffindor girl.
Black wanted to express his displeasure, and was about to rush to the headmaster, but he was stopped by Remus' firm hand and words:
"You'll only make it worse. Don't show her that you doubt her. It won't help her."
Wise. As always. But how it annoyed him!
He'd had Crouch in his sights for a long time now, wanting so badly to smash the nasty upstart's face, and then there was that laugh. God, did people even hear him laugh? How could anyone be around him after that?
There were short clicks on either side, like the cocking of a Muggle pistol. The air felt hot, but the ringing silence was beginning to weigh on Black's brain, which was already melting under the weight of injustice.
Today this girl was sweeping away all his plans! First a morning run, then a quiet breakfast, lunch, first class, a few more and now a duel. The duel he'd been waiting for all fucking day!
"Remember, no Unforgivable. One! Two! Three!" A thick, glittering tongue of flame burst from the headmaster's wand, marking the beginning.
The tall, dark-haired Slytherin was the first to lunge forward without making a sound. The spell instantly bounced off his opponent, hitting the protective charms.
"Expulso!" He roared at once, alternating non-verbal spells with bright flashes of rather sophisticated charms.
Too fast, too impulsive, too nervous. Perhaps Hermione really did have a chance. She, on the other hand, didn't like to throw words around, staring hard at her opponent for now, as if studying him or looking for something in his face.
The girl deftly dodged the beam that flew in her direction while striking back. Was he the only one who felt like she was holding herself back?
The girl was clearly more skilled than the others, and far more daring than the same Lily. Despite her small stature and small figure, she looked quite... confident in combat. Though a different word was swirling around in his head right now. Let's not call things by their proper names.
A few more lunges with his wand that mesmerized the eye and made him freeze in place, and almost every spell was cast aside.
"Incendio!" shouted the Slytherin, already accepting congratulations from his side of the crowd. - What, are you ready to accept your defeat?
His robe instantly burst into flaming fire, while hers remained perfectly intact.
She's good. She's very good.
"Not today, Crouch," Hermione bowed and walked down the hall in total silence.
Almost immediately she was knocked off her feet by James flying towards her with a loud shout, "Hermione! ". Sirius could bet a galleyon that it was Potter who bet a galleyon on her victory today. He was too gambling, as was Black himself. But somehow the lad doubted that there was something even more mysterious and darker about this girl than the panic attacks he'd already noticed in crowded rooms. Speaking of which.
Sirius moved quickly in their direction, catching her wide eyes and pointing to the exit. She nodded, understanding him without words, and stepped outside as well. Remus and James followed Black, while Peter remained somewhere inside. The boys slammed the wooden door behind them and stared at the girl. In total silence.
Black spoke first.
"You're a winner," he blurted out an obvious truth that was even silly to utter. But he'd been talking nonsense in front of her all day today.
She smiled. Again. The same disarming smile that burned more than Incendio and knocked not just the wand out of my hands, but the brain out of my head.
"Gentlemen and... Lady!" James chanted. "Today we have witnessed a phenomenon as rare as the humiliation of Bartemius Crouch Jr. in front of the entire school. And I, as the Headmaster of Gryffindor, solemnly swear that we," James glanced at the boys, "are prepared to fulfill your every request," he glared at her in the end, awaiting her response.
Hermione, after thinking for a moment, spewed something that neither Black nor most definitely any of the Marauders expected to hear:
"I need to escape from the Castle to Muggle London."