I would have done this yesterday, but fanfic wouldn't let me upload documents. Pish!
One day, plain old normal Jack was in the jungle doing nothing in particular. Suddenly, HE TRIPPED ON A STICK! GASPSHOCKDISBELIEF! And his hand was smooshed in something squishy! He looked at his hand and found it smished in a Twinkie!
"OMG!" said Jack excitedly. He hearted Twinkies to the point of obsession. Plain old normal Jack eagerly ate said Twinkie, without knowing that it was infected with a special type of bacterium which altered his genetic combinations, giving him SUPAH HUMAN POWAHS!111
Tying his red towel around his neck, the now SUPAH JACK sprung off to do good deeds throughout the island.
Well, that's it for now! Sorry it was short. Thanks to all who reviewed, especially Random LOST Fan, for seeing that one bit in the first chapter exactly as I had.