Chapter 1: Regrets and Possibilities
Barriss Offee stared at the water jug across her cell and wondered how hard she could fling it into her face with the Force.
How had she been so stupid?
She should have killed Letta before they had ever got to her. Made it look like a suicide, suitably arranged the evidence. Made it look like it was done out of guilt. Nobody would have looked twice at it, why would they? An open and shut case.
She should have left Ahsoka to rot in that cell. Let her take all the blame from there. Instead of freeing her. Of course, that foolish idiot would try and prove her innocence rather than just doing the sensible thing and running away.
She should have put Ventress' lightsabres back with her. Let her be caught up in it, let Ahsoka frame her as the mastermind of the plot and let her be taken away and executed. Who, after all, would believe a former Sith apprentice?
She should have ducked Anakin's lightsabre strike and fled from her room screaming her head off. They would have thought he had gone mad, mad in his desperation to absolve his apprentice from her guilt. She would have been condemned and him too and she could have skipped on her way. Back to the library, back to studying the texts she cherished. Instead of sitting in this cell, with only herself to while away the hours and days and weeks or however long it took to get around to her inevitable execution.
She put her face in her hands. She had tried to duel Skywalker! A man acknowledged as being as fearsome with a sword as Mace Windu, if not better. And she had tried to duel him! What had she been thinking? Idiot! Idiot!
It was arrogance that had got her. Just as clearly as it had got the Jedi. She thought she knew how everything would go. The Jedi would condemn Ahsoka, too frightened of seeming out of step with the Senate. Because she was right about them. They were taken with the violence.
She thought there was no harm in holding onto Ventress' lightsabres because who would question her? Who would think to search her room? Barriss Offee, Ahsoka Tano's best friend? Who'd gone through several trials with her?
She'd liked the look of Ventress' lightsabres, liked the feel of them, had worn them at giddy hours of the night, when she wouldn't be disturbed, feeling a thrill as she saw the gentle arch of them resting against her hips in the mirror.
Her own line came back to her. I think they suit me. She let out a soft groan as her entire body cringed at the memory.
That was her mistake. The arrogance. She'd thought she'd known how everything would go. Had it been her, her Master would have abandoned her to the Council's judgement and then the Senate. Just as she had on Geonosis when they were trapped in the tank.
But Ahsoka had kept going. She'd kept Barriss believing and alive because she knew, she knew, that her Master wouldn't give up on her. That he would keep trying until he exhausted everything. And he had. Just as he had when she was put on trial.
Her thoughts drifted to her own Master, Luminara. She was away when it all happened, but she'd been sure to come straight back when she was informed. She'd come to see Barriss a few days after she'd been imprisoned. Oh yes, she'd been straight in hadn't she? Here to tell her how disappointed she was. That Barriss had been the model Jedi, but she had let the order down. She had fallen! And then she'd done that thing they all do. She'd said that she had failed her. Let her know that, deep down, Luminara was more wounded by this than Barriss was, was suffering more than she had. Was taking on the responsibility.
Barriss had been defiant. She'd tried to make her see, had explained her views, had explained that she still was the model Jedi, it was just the rest of them that had fallen. Had fallen for so long and so far that they weren't even aware of the concept of the ground anymore. Luminara hadn't listened. She'd just looked away sadly and then left the cell, downcast. She hadn't returned.
Barriss had raged then. She'd screamed, she'd flung things, she'd stamped and kicked and hurt herself a lot and precious little else. She had been angry at Luminara but also herself. She'd been angry at that small, childish, part of her that had wanted her Master to sweep her into a hug, to tell her that she believed her, that it would be okay, that she would slip her a key, would do something, anything, to save her. That small part of her that still remembered the vague warmth of her mother's arms after she'd slipped and hurt herself.
But Luminara wasn't her mother. Only her Master. Now not even that. Caught up with the same delusions, and arrogance and disregard as all the rest of-
Barriss halted. She was angry. She was angry because she was scared. But she was a Jedi. The model Jedi.
A true Jedi.
I must not fear, she thought, opening her hands from the fists that had dug her nails into her palms. She rested them gently on her thighs and breathed. Fear closes all the paths except anger. And the path to anger leads to hatred, and the path to hatred leads to the Dark Side. I will let the fear pass, and when it does, all paths will be open to me.
She let out a deep sigh. She opened her eyes. Calmer now. Bleaker. But calmer.
She couldn't blame her Master, not really. And she had felt her sadness, a small stain of conflict in her that had been suppressed. She had sensed some of her doubts. Maybe some of what she said had got through to her? Maybe some of what she said made sense, might make some change.
Maybe that would have to be enough.
Her thoughts wandered. They wandered to the place they always went: Geonosis. Trapped in the tank, below the surface. Certain she was going to die. Trying to prepare herself for it, but was caught in the icy grip of fear all the same. Reciting mantras she'd read, calling back on stories she'd listened to in the Oral Histories, recalling the texts she'd studied so intensely.
And there was her face. Filled with determination. Telling her not to give up. That they were looking for them, that her Master was looking for them. Giving her hope, making her believe that they would be saved.
And they had been.
They had been saved and it had all been right then. It had all been fine at that moment and she smiled because she remembered the sheer elation she felt when she came out when she had seen her Master when she had known she wasn't going to die and she felt the sun tickling across her skin and breathed the cleaner air and had known that everything was-
The comm in the cell squawked. "Prisoner C-1897," its tinny monotone voice churned through the cell. "You have a visitor. Ensure you are standing back from the entrance to the cell."
Barriss went rigid. Her heart pounded, as the icy grip closed around it again and her spine and skin and muscle started to hurt from the tension.
It had to be her. It could only be her. She'd kept away, hadn't deigned to visit. She could still remember her expression, the look of horror, anger, confusion, and disappointment that had been on her face. She wasn't sure she could face it. But she steeled herself. It could only be her, no one else, so she steeled herself and made herself ready.
I must not fear.
She heard the vworp of the laser door disappearing and she put on her best sneer.
"So you finally came?" she said, not looking over. "I knew you would eventually. Well, if you're expecting me to say sorry then I'm afraid-" She looked over and did a double-take.
Stood in the doorway was Chancellor Palpatine, in his plain robes, wearing that calming, generous smile he always had.
"Hello young one," he said, voice soft. "I hope they are treating you well in here?"
Barriss' mouth was dry. She'd been preparing herself for someone else entirely and now she was completely thrown. She swallowed. "Ah yes, I am being treated well," she said, like a new child on her first day at school being asked by a teacher. "Thank you for asking."
"Good, good." He smiled at her, his presence calming. "I gather, from how you launched into that speech that you were expecting someone else?" She nodded. "I gather, from how well-rehearsed it sounded, that the someone you were expecting has not turned up?"
Pain flickered across Barriss' face, but she nodded. "No, she hasn't," she said quietly.
"My poor child." Palpatine looked at her and he did seem genuinely upset for her, for what she was going through. "It is painful when friends do not come to us."
"I can't blame her. I did nearly get her killed."
"Even so, with such a history, with such a friendship, I might have expected that some visit was in order. At least for a small reconciliation. Before the end."
Her heart skipped a beat. So that's why he was here. Here to tell that the execution day was set at last. She'd know it was coming of course, had readied herself for it, but it still hit her.
Then she paused. Frowned. Why would the Chancellor be coming to tell her the execution date? That was surely the duty of some functionary. So why was he here?
She looked up, curious, as Palpatine settled himself onto the seat at the other side of the room. The dim light of the cells cast shadows and, as he sat back, a shadow crossed over his eyes, cloaking them like a cowl. He still wore that same calming, generous smile on his lips, but now there was something...something almost sinister about it.
"Why are you here?" Barriss asked, seeing no point in beating around the Bantha.
"I'm not entirely sure myself," Palpatine replied, mildly. "Let us say that you intrigue me."
"Intrigue you?" She wasn't sure she liked the sound of that. It was an odd choice of word as if she was a puzzle he was trying to work out and not a notorious terrorist that had confessed to her crimes.
"Yes. Doing what you did was no small feat. You managed to organize an entire conspiracy. Managed to steel yourself to the task of ingesting someone with nanobots to turn them into a bomb. Managed to steel yourself for the deaths that bomb would cause."
Barriss swallowed. When he put it in such stark terms... "I had to," she said, voice quiet. "The Jedi Order...I had to show them..."
"To be willing to sacrifice your best friend," Palpatine carried on as if he hadn't heard her.
"It was necessary!" Barriss snapped. She caught herself, she hadn't meant to snap, but it boiled out of her.
Palpatine's smile grew wider. "Yes...a great many unpleasant things are," he drawled. "But it was impressive. To fool the Jedi Order, right under their noses and almost guide them to having one of their own, most loyal servants executed." He chuckled. "And now she's rejected them and left the order."
Barriss felt a twinge within her, an odd one she couldn't place. Ahsoka left? Then does that mean...? Does that mean that she...believes me? That she thought...
"I wouldn't get your hopes up," Palpatine said as if he had read her mind. His voice was not unkind. "I think their treatment of her shattered her faith in them, and in herself. She walks a different path now."
Barriss slunk back. "No...Of course, I wouldn't..."
"I must confess, even I was fooled." He smiled again, that same smile somehow devoid of warmth. "It was most impressive."
"Well thank you. I'm glad somebody recognised the effort that went into it." She dipped into sarcasm because she was growing increasingly unsettled. Everything about this felt wrong, every animal instinct given to her by evolution was bubbling to the surface, screaming at her that she should run and she had no idea what to do with it, no clue what to do with the horrible foreboding sensation that was rippling through her. She looked at Palpatine and he seemed to be nothing more than a curious and genial old man. Except when he was sat down, across from her, she couldn't stop imagining the image of some predator in the shadows, weighing her up, as if trying to decide what the best way of attacking would be, as she, helpless, stood still, her ears up desperately trying to hunt for any sign that might save her.
I must not fear, she thought. Fear closes all the paths except anger. And the path to anger leads to hatred, and the path to hatred leads to the Dark Side. I will let the fear pass, and when it does, all paths will be open to me.
Palpatine chuckled, reminding Barriss that she'd attempted humour. She felt disorientated, she'd been so lost in her own mind she was sure a huge chunk of time had passed but it had been nothing at all.
"But then you lost it all at the end," Palpatine said. "Became sloppy. It was most curious."
"I made mistakes," Barriss said. She kept her voice flat, trying to give as many social indications as she could that she was done with this conversation, whatever in the hells it had been. "I wasn't as good as I thought I was."
"Perhaps. Though sometimes, we make mistakes because we want to be found out."
She pulled back, startled. Why had he said that? She hadn't wanted to be found, she'd wanted to escape! She'd wanted to stay in the order, to do the work to use the incident to make them see! What sort of stupid suggestion was that?
"Oh dear, is that the time?" Palpatine said, with a note of concern in his voice. He stood up and emerged from the shadows, the genial old man emerging again, voice and expression laced with sympathy as he looked upon her. "9.58 pm exactly," he continued. "I've stayed rather later than I thought, and imposed on you more than I meant. I hope you can forgive me, but I was very curious to see you."
"That's okay," Barriss replied. "You are the Chancellor and I'm a prisoner. It's not like I could say no."
Palpatine chuckled softly. "No, I suppose not." He folded his hands in front of him. "I'm afraid it gives me no pleasure to inform you that your execution date has been set." Barriss looked up at him, a trace of fear crossing her face. "It will happen in two days from now, so you will have a chance to get your affairs in order. It's not been made public, you understand, nobody outside the facility will know." He smiled. "I'm afraid there is some concern about a public execution causing problems."
"Yes...I imagine it would." So that was it. Nobody would know. She would be dead and perhaps only Luminara would know, sensing it through the Force, as her life snuffed out. Perhaps she would be the only one who would care.
Palpatine bowed and then turned to the door. He paused, halfway up the stairs, as the laser door went off. "Just so you know," he said. "The cameras in this facility have been known to fail at midnight." Barriss looked at him, mouth dropping open. He smiled with sympathy. "I just wanted you to know that we are doing everything to resolve the problem and we should have it fixed by tomorrow. So you won't have to worry about anyone vengeful sneaking in and trying to get at you. The Jedi, as you have said, are steeped in violence and are not always themselves. But don't fret young one."
He walked away and the laser door vworped shut.
Barriss stared after him for a long time. What was that all about? she wondered. Why was he telling me that? Did he want me to be on guard in case someone came around? Did he know something? Had he heard Ahsoka was planning revenge? She swallowed. No. No, that couldn't be. Ahsoka wasn't like that, was she? Hot-headed, reckless and determined sure, who wouldn't pick that up from Anakin Skywalker? But vengeance didn't seem right.
But what did she know? Who knows what could have changed now she had left the order. And she would have a right to it. At least Barriss would get to see her again, one more time...
She frowned. No, this was absurd. How would Palpatine know that? Why would he even care? If she was being executed, then what would it matter if a rogue Jedi snuck in and did the work for them? Sure the cleaning detail would be annoyed, but it would be no reason to warn her? She did kill clones as well so it's not like they would be that bothered about letting her pass either...
So what was...?
...Oh dear is that the time...9.58 exactly...
...The cameras in this facility have been known to fail at midnight...
...We should have it fixed by tomorrow...
It couldn't be, could it?
She slowly stood up, acting as if she was stretching herself and then took a turn around the room, swinging her arms. She walked up the stairs a little and casually peered out-
A key card was left discreetly on the floor, tucked in the edge. You wouldn't see it unless you were looking for it.
Barriss turned her gaze away and swung it the other way, making it look like she was just stretching her neck out. Her heart pounded and she took a drink of water and tried to keep herself steady.
Was Palpatine really helping her? But why? He had said that the Jedi were steeped in violence, so did that mean he believed her? Was that why he was here? To help her escape?
She sat down. She should stay. She should accept her punishment. But what good could she do if she was dead? What use would that be to anyone? She had to escape. Maybe if she escaped she could still do something, could still do something to make the Order see, to realise the error of their ways, before it was too late?
She stilled her mind. Palpatine had said 9.58 exactly...and he'd said it...about five minutes ago...that would be accurate enough. Which meant that there was seven-thousand and twenty seconds until the camera failed, or at least when he claimed it would fail.
A twinge of anxiety came through her. This might all be a trick, something the clones arranged so they could have the pleasure of killing her in the dark and claim she was escaping. That might not have been Palpatine at all but some face-changer.
But what the hell, she was going to die anyway. Might as well take a shot at it.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath...
I must not fear...
And started counting seconds.
Welcome, all who've made it this far - I hope you enjoyed reading the first chapter!
The plan for this came out of watching the series 5 finale of The Clone Wars and being...well, unsatisfied with it. Given that Barriss was a traitor, and she was shown as about Ahsoka's only Jedi friend of her own age, it seemed like her turn and the effect that would have was glossed over pretty quickly. I get why of course: the main focus was on Ahsoka's relationship with Anakin and the Jedi Order and why she got exiled (and so managed to avoid being Order 66'd), but it still felt like something was missing. Maybe it was because I saw the Barriss twist coming and so assumed that more would be made out of it than it was. And also, as indicated in the preceding, she went from being something of a mastermind, fooling the Jedi Order something which we only saw Palpatine pulling off and he had decades of careful planning, to the whole thing crumbling under some very silly mistakes (why did she keep Ventress' sabres? Why didn't she run from Anakin and try and frame him?) Obviously, part of the thing is that Star Wars in general, and Clone Wars specifically, is supposed to be for children, and so the structure of the story needs everyone to fit more or less into an easy good vs. evil frame, so if you're not a Jedi you're a Sith, but the sudden Barriss shift still felt lacking.
And, yes, I am aware that at one level this is just someone being irate at a children's show not being complicated enough; but out of such things do fanfics bloom.
So post-viewing, I thought and pondered and stewed and then this scene popped up. And then some more scenes popped up, and then I decided what the hell might as well have a go at it. So here it is, my attempt at working out just what was going on for Barriss; why she did what she did; why she failed in the way that she did; and where it all went from there.
So I hope you enjoy the journey and do let me know your thoughts!
(Note, I haven't seen any of The Clone Wars beyond series 5, and I've only seen highlight reels of Rebels - Ahsoka vs Vader, Maul vs Obi-wan etc. - so my apologies in advance if anything comes up across this which contradicts later and established canon/lore. Though Barriss has survived here, so we're already diverging I suppose...)