Chapter 7: The Oldest Adage in the Galaxy
When Barriss finished her story there was only stunned silence. She sat looking at her bowl. There was only a little of the rice porridge left, and she pushed it to one side. It reminded her uncomfortably of the meal she'd eaten with the droids.
She glanced up and saw Ahsoka's expression. A mix of horror, sadness, pity and a whole host of other emotions that combined together to form...an almost vacant look. As if she couldn't quite process it all.
"Say something..." Barriss said quietly.
"Barriss..."Ahsoka said at last. "I...I didn't know..."
"Well, now you do."
"Barriss, why didn't you...why didn't you say something?"
Barriss let out a snort. "To who? Luminara? She would have had me thrown to the psych ward faster than you can say 'Will of the Force'."
"You could have talked to me."
Barriss shrugged. "You've already admitted you wouldn't have agreed with me. So it wouldn't have made any difference."
"But I would have tried. I wouldn't have thrown you aside I would have...I would have tried."
Barriss smirked and wagged a finger at her. "Ah, ah. 'Do or do not, there is no try.'"
She meant to inspire anger with that remark, but all she got was a look of sorrow. It irked her. Irked her a great deal.
"Don't pity me Ahsoka," she muttered. "I would do the same again."
"You don't regret-"
"No." She looked defiant. "I regret the loss of life, of course, I do. I didn't want to kill anyone, damn it, I wanted to be a healer, I was training to be a healer! And I...I didn't want Tutso to die." Her eyes narrowed. "But people die in war. Sometimes innocents as well. That's what the Jedi Order taught me."
"The Order taught us more than that. About the importance of protecting the innocent, defending those who couldn't defend-"
"And how many of those did you defend in your time Ahsoka? How many do you really believe you helped?"
Ahsoka's mind drifted back to the Martez sisters. Just two people among countless billions, who struggled and were probably struggling now. She took a breath to steady herself. "I admit, there were many the Order could have helped that they didn't," she said. "Many we could have helped. And I don't hold a candle for Order, I have no illusions about its faults. But there were people trying to do good."
"Maybe, but it was all finished long before we entered the Temple." Barriss sat back and looked away. "That's the sick truth; Palpatine didn't manipulate the Order into its demise. He just pulled on the already frayed threads."
Ahsoka shook her head at her. She hadn't known what Barriss was going through, hadn't sensed anything, and hadn't felt anything. The war... had done so much damage to all of them. And now she felt it all, as Barriss sat unguarded. The quiet rage, the fear, drifting to her like the chill on an autumn wind.
"Who were the people behind you?" she asked.
Barriss snorted. "The people behind me? Sorry, Ahsoka, you're not going to rationalize this by blaming what I did on others." She looked defiant. "I made my own decision, I wasn't somebody else's dupe."
"But there was a group," Ahsoka pressed. She didn't really know why she pushed at this, but she wanted to know. That perhaps she could find something out, could know just who it was that had corrupted her friend.
Barriss sniggered. Ahsoka frowned, caught out by the reaction. "What?" she asked.
"Oh, Ahsoka, haven't you worked it out yet?" Barriss sneered at her, an expression she'd never seen on her features before. "The people 'behind me' are the same people running your little resistance groups."
Ahsoka's eyes widened. "That can't-"
Barriss held up a hand. "Oh, I don't mean they're exactly the same people. But across the whole galaxy, there were resistance groups and cells against the Separatists and the Republic, people who protested and some of them used violence to change things. You should know, you trained a group of them. Your little friends Lux Bonteri and Saw Gerrera."
"That was different!" Ahsoka protested. "They were fighting the Separatist oppression of Onderon! They never struck-"
"Civilian targets? No, maybe not. Perhaps not deliberately. But you can't have firefights and bombings in cities without causing a few casualties." She gave her a doe-eyed look. "Oh, I'm sure that when you were there they cleaned up their act and made sure they did all they could to avoid any collateral damage. They wouldn't want to risk the Jedi's moral support, and Lux certainly wouldn't want to look bad where you could see him." She waved a hand dismissively. "And now all those groups that were scattered throughout the galaxy have all changed their targets. They have the Empire to fight now."
"It's not the same thing!" Ahsoka leaned forward, stabbing her finger on the table. "We're fighting the Empire, the Sith! They're corrupt, evil, wielding the Dark Side and visiting violence across the whole galaxy with their armies! Stopping them is-" She halted, cut off mid-speech as she suddenly realised who she sounded like.
Barriss smirked at her. She drained the last of her drink and stood up.
"Congratulations Ahsoka, you've just learned the oldest adage in the galaxy," she sneered. "One person's terrorist is another person's freedom fighter."
Just a very short chapter here - sorry! Basically, this one is its own chapter because I couldn't fit it at the end of the last one (as that might have taken away from Barriss' story), and it fits awkwardly at the start of the next one. So it's its own little piece ^_^;