A/N: This is a very special chapter. It heralds not only my first anniversary as a fanfic writer, but it is the ending of the first half of this story. After this chapter, there should be a significant shift in the pacing and design of the chapters, but hopefully it won't be at the loss of the elements of this story you have been enjoying so far. I hope to improve this story to it's full potential.

Disclaimer: I think this is my third favourite story (behind my stories set in the Star 'verse) and I think it is easily the best of my stories written in a conventional style. If any of you would like to nominate this story, or any others if you find them worthy, at an awards site then I would be greatly honoured. Normally I wouldn't ask but you only have your one-year anniversary of writing once, so I thought I'd give myself a plug, eh? Bit longer than usual, but I've been in a weird place (emotionally/mentally) lately, so I'm not entirely sure I covered everything here. .

XXXXX

Revelations

"Hey, Buffy," Willow said brightly, giving the stunned ghost a wave with her free hand. "How have you been? I mean, besides the whole ghost thing, which I kinda guess is all you've been. Sorry, I'm still not quite used to the idea even though I had the whole plane trip over to process."

Buffy stared at the boy. "Willow?"

"Oh, duh," Willow said laughingly. "How could I forget? This is my son, David."

The little boy buried his head into Willow's neck as another massive shock walked through the front door.

"Giles?"

Buffy's ex-Watcher walked in and casually placed a loving arm around her once-best friend. "Ah, hello, Buffy," he said and smiled warmly. "It is unbelievably wonderful to see you again."

Buffy looked at the picture before her. Giles. And Willow. And a little boy. With Giles and Willow. This was just too much. Giles and Willow? If Buffy had a heart, she would probably be having a heart attack right now. As it was, she was about to faint. If ghosts could faint.

"I'm sorry," Buffy apologised weakly. "This is all so much to take in right now."

"Hey, no problemo," Willow said cheerfully. "We have to get settled in, anyway."

"Oh, right," Faith said, "You guys are upstairs. You know the way. I'll help Giles with your bags."

Buffy sat heavily and started to think. Only she didn't. She tried to think. Thoughts weren't forthcoming. Katie's mom was a dead vampire. Well, dead-er vampire, 'cause of all vampires being dead. Sorta. Undead. Could you be a dead undead? That didn't make much sense. So what happened to a vampire when you killed it? Well, they turned to dust, but did their demon die? How could it? It's dead.

And how come nobody told her that Willow had shacked up with Giles? And had kids! Or kid, singular. Still, that's huge news. That's like, apocalypse news. Giles getting a date used to be Important-Let's-Tell-Buffy news, but Giles getting married -- to Willow! -- isn't something you talk about?

And since when do vampires become human after they die? That was never in the Slayer's hand book. Not that Buffy ever read the Slayer's handbook. But Giles would have mentioned it, right? It's newsworthy, a way to bring back vampires as humans after you kill them.

And since when could vampires have kids with humans? Isn't that why Angel left Buffy? Because he couldn't give her kids? What's changed? Something must have, since he was going out with Fred. Which was totally unfair, really. Angel is all high and mighty when it comes to Buffy smooches, but Fred smooches are fine? Buffy decided that totally didn't come out right.

And Spike! Why didn't he tell her who Katie's mom was? Wasn't she important enough to let in? It was so like him. He says he wants to be friends, and then he goes around totally ignoring Buffy and not telling her anything. Angel had to tell her, and Angel never told anybody anything. If not telling people things was an Olympic event, then Angel would win the gold.

Well, maybe not. Nobody told her about Giles and Willow, not even Giles and Willow! Willow used to be her best friend and she doesn't think to let Buffy know she got married? She can't even pick up a phone? And she expected better from Giles. He was supposed to be all responsible Watcher-y guy.

Maybe Spike would challenge Angel for the Not-talking-about-anything event in the Olympics, come to think of it. He didn't even tell her that he'd moved. He still hadn't, and she'd visited him! What's up with that? The crypt would be a bad place to raise kids, which makes sense, but what's with him not telling her about it? Thinking about what they did before she died…

Buffy hated herself.

Her sister was being chased by a hellgod that wanted to use her to rip all the dimensions apart and glue them back together or something. She had no job, and no income. She had a pile of bills getting bigger all the time. She'd recently lost her mother, and her sister was still grieving as well. She couldn't effectively fight back against Glory, couldn't even hurt her. And she felt nothing about any of it. She was empty inside.

The only time she felt anything at all was during one of her sick, repulsive… things with Spike, and the worst part was that she couldn't stop. It was like eating a chocolate, and then another, and soon you can't stop until they're all gone, only not as harmless as that because Spike was an evil, disgusting thing. God, it made her sick.

"Slayer?" Spike asked as she walked into his crypt. "Buffy?"

"Do you love me, Spike?"

"Buffy, love," Spike started. "I don't know if-"

"Do you love me?"

Spike exhaled. "O' course, Slayer. You know I do."

"Say it."

"I love you, Buffy."

Buffy hungrily pressed her mouth to his, her hands sliding the jacket off his shoulders. She knew she'd hate herself for this afterwards, but she couldn't stop, didn't want to stop. The only time she felt anything was when she was doing this.

Heat flooded her body as his cool hands caressed her back, knowingly ran a pattern across her body. She clutched him to her harder and shuddered in excitement, before dragging him to the lower level of his crypt.

Afterwards, the crushing waves of revulsion and shame crashed inwards, nearly leaving her breathless. As she started to get dressed, Spike looked at her.

"You feel something for me, you know," he said quietly.

"Revulsion and shame," Buffy snapped back.

"It's more than that, love," Spike said, propping himself on one elbow.

"I could never feel anything for you," Buffy ground out. "You're nothing but a filthy, undead thing."

Spike sneered. "Oh, so I'm just a bit of cold comfort, then?"

Buffy didn't think. She just reacted. She kicked Spike as hard as she could in the ribs, heard the snap of bones, and ran.

"Do you guys know for certain?" Dawn's voice cut into Buffy's musings, prompting her to snap back to reality.

Well, she tried. Someone was sitting on her, or in her, or she was in them, or something.

"Argh!" Xander yelped, leaping from his seat and restoring Buffy's sight. It looked like everyone was here; Willow, Giles, Faith, Xander, Anya, Angel, Spike, Dawn and Oz. "J-jeez, Buff, don't sneak up on a guy like that."

"I didn't sneak," Buffy said slowly, worrying about Xander's mental health. "I've been sitting her since Willow and Giles arrived." Buffy looked around the room at the worried glances everyone was sharing. "What?"

Giles leaned in and whispered something in Willow's ear, and she raised her hands and pointed them at Buffy. "Constrictum."

Buffy didn't notice anything at first, until she tried to move. It felt like the air around her entire body was made of steel. "What's going on?" Buffy asked confusedly.

"That won't hold her long," Willow said to everyone. "Faith, is it okay if I draw a pentagram on your floor?"

"Yeah, sure, Red," Faith agreed easily.

"What the hell is going on?" Buffy demanded as she watched Willow sketch a simple pattern on the floor with chalk.

"I'm really sorry about this, Buff," Willow said apologetically. "Transitus."

Buffy felt a peculiar wrenching sensation, then she was sitting on the floor in the middle of the circle. When she tried to leave the circle, it felt like she'd been hit with a thousand volts of electricity. "Ow!"

"I wouldn't try to leave, if I were you," Giles said.

"What the HELL is going on?" Buffy yelled.

Everyone looked at everyone else uncomfortably. "Well, it's like this," Xander began. "It's almost the day of the Hokey-Pokey-"

"Hokeruthem," Willow corrected absently.

"- and there was word of a big bad coming into town. Then you showed up, and word stopped. No big bad."

"You think I'm the big bad?" Buffy asked incredulously.

"No, no, no, no," Xander said.

"Yes," Anya countered. "I don't know why you're all so nervous about this," she said to everyone. "Either that is Buffy, and there's nothing to worry about, or it's not Buffy and now there's nothing to worry about."

"This doesn't have anything to do with Dawn's boyfriend, does it?" Buffy asked. "Because if it does, I'm okay with her having a boyfriend. I mean, I'm not ecstatic or anything and I'd still like to meet him, but she's grown up now and--"

"I never told her about Sean," Dawn said, an edge of hysteria in her voice.

Angel grimaced. "Go call him, make sure he's okay."

The ghostly Slayer watched as everyone filed out of the room except Giles.

"It really is good to see you, Buffy," Giles told her quietly.

Buffy frowned. "You don't even think I'm me."

"On the contrary," Giles disagreed. "I do believe you are Buffy. I doubt many demons would be able to maintain such a tenuous façade for so long. After all, who would expect your ghost to appear after six years?"

Buffy shot him a wry look. "You want to ask me questions about me being all ghost-y, don't you?"

Giles smiled faintly. "I must admit that I do have some questions."

"Go ahead," she said grudgingly.

"Well," he said as he sat down. "Have you experienced any discomfort?"

"No, not really," Buffy said, thinking. "I feel mostly numb, really."

"Mostly?" Giles asked with his Interested Face on.

"Well, sometimes I feel as though I've got goose bumps or something, but it's not a huge thing."

"Fascinating," Giles said to himself. "And do you remember anything in the period between your, ah, death and your… current situation?"

"Nope," Buffy replied.

"And have you had any abnormal phenomena occur?"

Buffy grimaced. "Giles, I'm a ghost."

"Ah, yes. Quite."

Buffy took mercy on the Watcher. "There have been a couple of little things."

"Oh?"

"Well, sometimes I'll be sitting on a chair or lying on my bed and I'll just fall through it," Buffy said. "It doesn't hurt or anything, but it's kind of embarrassing."

"Ah. Anything else?"

"Well," Buffy said, thinking about how to phrase it without sounding crazy. "Earlier today I wanted to leave the house to go and see Xander and Anya, and I closed my eyes and when I opened them I was at their house. Then I wanted to go to Dawn's, only it wasn't working until I made a general sort of threat, and then it worked on it's own when I went to Spike's house, but I had to threaten it again to get to Angel's."

"Ah," Giles said, but he visibly relaxed. "Well, that's very reassuring."

"Wait, what's reassuring?" Buffy asked suspiciously.

"Those can often be symptomatic of ghost-hood," Giles said. "Willow shall be doing another spell later to be absolutely certain that you are not a demon in disguise."

The Watcher turned to leave. "Wait," Buffy called out. Giles face her once again. "Do you love Willow? Like, love her, love her?"

Giles smiled. "Very much so."

XXX

It was something of a Mexican stand-off. The air was thick with tension. The sets of eyes, one blue and two brown, stared at the fourth pair. The second pair of blue eyes darted between the other three. The silence was heavy, and all the participants could feel it weighing down on them. Finally, one of them could stand it no longer.

"I'm Caitlin Roselyn Barclay," she piped.

"I'm Seth," the dark haired boy grunted, before nodding to his sister. "This is Sarah."

Sarah waved.

"I'm David," the red-haired boy said, giving a nervous wave.

"Why do you talk funny?" Seth asked, squinting at David.

Katie punched him in the arm. "Be polite," she stressed, before beaming at David. "Where are you from?"

"Umm, England," David said anxiously.

"England?" Seth asked incredulously. "That's like, a bajillion miles away!"

"It is not," Katie said scathingly. "My daddy can't drive for a bajillion miles. He'd get all burned up."

"It is too a bajillion miles," Seth argued.

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is NOT!" Katie yelled, waving her fist daintily under Seth's nose.

David slowly backed away, his eyes extremely wide. Whoever these people were, they were crazy.

XXX

"Okay, Buff," Willow said brightly. "This spell should make you glow blue."

"And if I don't?" Buffy asked icily.

Some of the cheer left the witch's face. "Then you're not Buffy."

Buffy stared stonily ahead while Willow spoke under her breath, scattering a handful of plants around the chalk circle. Buffy felt a rush of something through her body, and when she looked down she reflexively exhaled. There was a glowing blue nimbus surrounding her. Turning a righteous glare at everyone else, Buffy noted that Willow had a purple glow emanating from her.

"That s'posed to happen, Red?" Spike asked when the spell was over, gesturing to her glow.

Willow looked down and gave a little jump. "Uh, not really."

"Do you know what it means?" Giles asked her.

Willow frowned. "Well, if the ghost has a summoner and they're close to the identification spell, then they glow purple but I haven't done any spells that might have summoned Buffy's spirit from the ether."

Everyone contemplated this for a few minutes. "You don't think it was that spell you tried the summer after Buffy died, do you?" Anya asked suddenly.

"Wait, what's this?" Giles asked sharply.

"The summer after Buffy died Xander and I and Willow and Tara tried a spell to resurrect her," Anya said, completely oblivious to Willow's spreading blush.

"Are you off your bloody bird?" Spike asked sharply.

"While I think that reaction might be a bit extreme, I have to agree with the sentiment," Giles said sternly. "Didn't you know how dangerous a spell like that is on its own, let alone trying it on someone who died by jumping through an inter-dimensional rift? It is one in a million that the spell works at all. It's less than ten million to one that the spell works correctly."

Willow frowned slightly. "I didn't know, but after spending so much time with the coven I wouldn't be so foolish as to try it again."

"So, what now?"

XXX

"Can't you just, y'know, magic her a new body?" Dawn asked.

Willow shrugged. "It's not that easy, you know. If you create a living body then you have a living soul. It wouldn't be a human one exactly, but it would still be wrong to kill it just so Buffy could have a body."

"So," Buffy began, "I'm just stuck without a body forever?"

"Maybe not," Willow said thoughtfully. "I think I have an idea that might work but I'd have to check some things out. It might take a while."

"Buffy," Giles said, "As a ghost you do have some control over the physical world."

"I think I would have spotted that if I had it, Giles," Buffy huffed.

Giles took off his glasses and began to polish them. "Perhaps not. You're actually employing them right now. Your soul is exerting it's will to affect it's place in the world. This is the easiest thing to do as a ghost."

"Did anybody understand that?" Xander asked.

Anya patted him on the arm. "It's easy, sweety. Because a part of Buffy refuses to believe that she'll fall through a chair then she doesn't, but if you bring it up her conscious brain makes her fall through it." Everyone stared at Anya in shock. "What? I can't know what Giles is talking about once in a while? It's not that different to a Vengeance Demon's teleporting, you know."

"That is another way that Buffy can, er, use her powers," Giles said. "Of course, like most skills it gets easier the more one does it. Or so I understand."

Buffy blinked. "So, I was threatening myself?"

Giles smiled. "There are other ways that you can interact with the world, Buffy. The spirit realm is one of desire. Earlier today, your desire to see your friends made it an actuality. It becomes much harder when you wish to change something in the physical world, but it can be done."

"I can move ouija boards?" Buffy asked, amused.

"Well, not at first. It would take quite a lot of practice to make a change that large. But I suppose that, if you concentrated enough, you might be able to wipe condensation from another surface."

"Great," Buffy whined. "I'm Buffy the window wiper."

"Ah," Xander soothed. "Don't feel bad, Buff. Will'l get you in a new body soon." Buffy smiled at her friend gratefully. "But before she does--"

"Stop now, honey," Anya advised him. She looked at the room at large. "Sometimes he can be tactless."

XXX

"How you feelin', B?" Faith asked.

Everyone had gone home or to their rooms except the two Slayers. Buffy rested her chin on her knees. "Spike's changed a lot, hasn't he?"

Faith grinned wryly. "Yeah, B. He has."

XXX

A/N: And there it is. The result of one year of writing and learning. I'd like to think I've come a long way. At the very least I think I can tell a story better these days. Here's hoping for another year filled with as much growth as this last one. Of course, you all know what helps? REVIEWS.