Fox, Roy, Yoshi 7: Freaking Idiots In Time! (Teaser Chapter)

-A Humor Story Written By Kal Ancalas

Author's note: One word for you: Enjoy. (You thought I was going to say review, didn't you?)

This is narrated by Yoshi and Bowser. (Yoshi kind of reminds me of Broccoli Pie…o.O)

Also: This is a teaser chapter. It is just to tell you how the rest of the story will be like. Don't complain that chapters should be longer, as I am working on them right now as you read this.

-----

(Yoshi)

"Fox, please tell me the time machine is around here somewhere…"

"Umm…Er…Well…"

"YOU FREAKING IDIOT!" I screamed as I proceeded to bash his brains out.

Oh, hi. Didn't see you there. My name is Yoshi. I am lost in the time-space continuum. If you don't know why, read this story called Fox, Roy, Yoshi 6: Rise of the Dairy Products. It's by some freak called Kal Ancalas.

But that's not important. My companions are Fox and Roy. I won't refer to Roy as Flaming Moron, because I think he's endured plenty of abuse. You have to feel sorry for him after a while.

Anyway, it is my duty to chronicle the events of our sad, unfeeling lives. Yup, life sucks when you're a Super Smash Brother at minimum wage. Yes, I am a multi-trillionaire that owns part of Dunkin' Donuts and Microsoft, but I donated my share all to charity. I feel that others can put that money to greater use than I can. Besides, I stole a bit of Fox and Roy's money. And by bit, I mean 1.25 percent. Don't get me wrong. With that, I can live modestly, and they will never miss it.

Enough about that. Roy and I are now trying to find a way out of the time space continuum.

…Hey, wait a second, I just saw a yellow submarine.

"Oh my god! It's John Lennon! John, can I have your autograph? I'm your biggest fan!"

Who would've thought. Fox McCloud, John Lennon's biggest fan. Don't ask how he's suddenly alive again and all, but this IS the time-space continuum. Crazy things happen in here all the time.

"All right. You can stop drooling on his shoes now. Come on." Roy yanked Fox up to his feet.

"It seems that the logical course of action would be to locate a wormhole and use it to travel back to our present day. Or a black hole, if that is available." Roy said.

Okay. First of all, anyone traveling inside a black hole would be instantly crushed by the enormous amount of pressure being exerted. Second of all, I have no freaking idea what is a wormhole, except there are theories that you can travel through time with them. No idea if that actually works, but in the time-space continuum, as well as a freaky author's humor story, anything's possible.

"Wait! We can hitchhike on Lord IamtehbestandIpwnu's ship!" Fox yelled happily.

"But, um, you kinda blew it up with your mines, disabling its warp engines." Roy said.

"Oh, sure. Ruin my moment."

"Actually, it's plausible." I said. "We could just hitchhike on his ship to our present day, then kick his arse."

"Yoshi, you're sounding quite cheerful." Roy remarked.

"Shut up, moron. I'm off caffeine."

"You called me a moron!" Roy said, beginning to cry.

"Oh, come on. It's not like I said FLAMING Moron or anything like that…"

"WAHHH!" Roy sat down and began to cry. Sometimes I wonder how someone with an OHKO attack can be so sensitive.

Of course, though, finding IamtehbestandIpwnu's ship is our main priority, and getting pie and donuts for Fox. Otherwise, it'll have the same effect as cutting the wrong cord of a live nuke. Or me abstaining from caffeine.

-----

(Bowser)

What does one who earns less than a junior McDonald's employee have to expect from this world?

Oh, yeah. Allow me to introduce myself. I'm King Bowser Koopa, but you can refer to me as Bowser. I haven't been called "king" in about a year ever since I've been working a stint as a Super Smash Brother.

Right now, I'm working as a janitor to save money for an Ultimate Pocket Entertainment System. Yup…That's life.

We (That is to say, Marth and myself) haven't heard much from Falco ever since he became a mail clerk. Word is, though, he was caught making photocopies of his own butt. I don't know how he managed to sit on the copier without breaking it, but that's not my business to know. Whatever the case, though, I think he was demoted to something worse than janitor. Though, I have no idea what that could be…

(Meanwhile)

"Okay, Mr. Lombardi. You have been assigned one of the most important tasks in our building. Without you, nothing in this building would ever get done."

"Yes, sir!" Falco saluted.

(Later)

"No, I don't want your free, $100 dollar down, 57 percent daily interest, 73 percent authentic Barney plushies! Get away from my house!"

(Back to Bowser)

Nope. Absolutely no idea. Whatever, I'll get back to you later. It looks like Marth singed a strand of his hair fixing a pipe.

-----

(Yoshi)

Guess where we are? Right. We're in the evil depths of the TSC, trying to find IamtehbestandIpwnu's ship. And since we don't have a map, this is going to be a long journey.

"SWORDS ARE SHINY!"

"I SEE A PIE!"

I wonder if I'll still be clinically sane after I get out of this place. For the time being, though, I must use my natural Yoshi-tracking skills to find the ship.

"Yoshi, what are you doing, sniffing the ground?"

"I'm tracking the ship with my excellent sense of smell."

"What does a ship smell like?"

(Meanwhile)

"Quickly, you fools! We must breed and boil cabbage for the next step of our plan!"

"Yes, Lord IamtehbestandIpwnu!"

"Sir! Our genetic modifications of the skunks are complete!"

"Excellent. And the musk oxen?"

"Not quite as well, sir, but we're working on it."

(Back to Yoshi)

"…You really don't want to know." I sigh, following the rancid scent, wagging my tail like a dog.

And so we walk for about an hour until Fox says,

"I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!"

"Oh, my god. We're in the freaking time space continuum!"

"BUT I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!"

"Hold it down…"

"I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!"

"Do you WANT to see me go clinically insane!" I scream at him.

So, he shuts up, and I hear nothing more from him. Until, that is, I smell something truly horrible.

"Oh, sweet mother of-You know what? Just tell me who did that!"

"I don't have to go anymore." Fox said sheepishly.

I sigh. Just as I expected, this will be a long journey.

-----

Author's Note: So, did you like the teaser? If you have any comments or suggestions, please review!

-Kal