Thoughts / "speech"
Life it seems, will fade away
Drifting further everyday
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters no one else
I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free
Metallica – Fade to Black
Chapter Three
Tristran couldn't stand anymore. Arthur would have to do something; he quickly went looking for his commander. He found his commander together with Lancelot and Dagonet at the far end of the barracks.
"We are his guests. I will not tolerate this behaviour from my men." Arthur was lecturing again.
"Arthur." Tristran stepped forward from the darkness.
"Dear God, what is it Tristran?" Arthur obviously sounded agitated.
"I asked them to help." Tristran answered.
"To help you with what?" Arthur knew that Tristran wasn't one to ask for help quickly.
"To help distract Cesario from raping Sebastian." Tristran stated the facts. No need to beat around the bush.
"Excuse me!" Arthur didn't believe it. No one would believe it.
"At this moment Cesario is raping Sebastian." Tristran repeated his statement.
"Are you certain?" Arthur knew Tristran never made mistakes when it came to observations.
"Yes." Came the honest reply.
"Let's go." Arthur marched towards the barrack he had just left behind.
Tristran first showed Arthur the window through which he had been watching throw, but there was no trace of Sebastian or Cesario. Looking more closely they saw Cesario lying on the ground whimpering with a tiny knife in his leg.
"Crap." Tristran almost shouted as he recognized the knife.
Arthur quickly made his way towards the whimpering man on the floor.
"That little bastard attacked me!" Cesario yelled out of frustration.
"He had every right." Lancelot murmured angry.
"Lancelot, this is not the time." Arthur warned his friend.
"I'll let someone get a healer." Arthur said when Dagonet made no attempts to help the man.
While Cesario was with the healers Arthur ordered Lancelot, Dagonet and Tristran to go and search for Sebastian. Arthur was hoping that they would find the boy before Balthazar or Marcellus did. After searching till early next morning the knights abandoned their search. It was obvious that Sebastian didn't want himself to be found.
That afternoon Cesario lined up his knights in order to give command over to Arthur. Fabian who had missed all the commotion of the previous night, being one who couldn't hold his ale, asked innocently: "Isn't Sebastian supposed to be here?"
"If you can find him be my guest." Cesario hissed at him.
"Sure. No problem." Fabian beamed cheerfully.
His three fellow knights looked incredulously at the boy. Why hadn't they thought of asking Fabian.
"GET HIM!" Cesario yelled at the boy.
Arthur's knights looked at Arthur for help. Bors, Gawain and Galahad had been informed of the situation during breakfast in the cantina.
"Let my men help Fabian." Arthur suggested to Cesario.
"That won't be necessary, my men can handle it." Cesario said as he sent Marcellus and Balthazar with Fabian.
Balthazar and Marcellus returned with Sebastian being towed behind them. Fabian, who didn't understand the treatment of Sebastian, tried to help him up when they reached Cesario.
"Don't you dare touch him, he's filth." Cesario spat at Fabian.
Cesario walked over to Sebastian who lay motionless on the ground. He was covered in dirt, dried up blood and God knew-what. Cesario kicked the boy, but the he stayed motionless.
"Where on earth did you find him?" Cesario asked.
"The pigsty." Fabian answered.
"Disgusting." Cesario muttered.
Arthur couldn't idly stand by anymore and walked towards Cesario and Sebastian.
"Cesario, seeing that as of today Sebastian is my knight, so I believe that I'm to be responsible for his punishments." Arthur spoke so that only Cesario could hear him.
"But he attacked me!" Cesario bit back at Arthur.
"And that's exactly why you should be taking it easy and start enjoying your retirement." Arthur diplomatically explained.
Cesario couldn't do anything but politely agree. In his mind he planned that he would have his knights punish the boy for it.
After having signed the official papers Arthur ordered his new knights to go pack. He wanted to leave this place as quickly as he could. Looking back at Sebastian lying on the ground, he saw that the boy hadn't moved an inch. Arthur prayed to his God that the boy hadn't decided to die on him.
"Dagonet look after Sebastian, get him cleaned up a bit." The large man nodded to Arthur and carefully lifted the boy up from the ground.
"Tristran see if you can find Fabian, when he has finished packing, and bring him to me." Arthur was sure that Fabian would know where Sebastian's stuff was, since he also knew where Sebastian had been hiding.
Tristran found Fabian packing his meagre possessions into his saddlebags. Fabian jumped out of fright when Tristran called his name.
"God, you are as bad as Sebastian." Fabian laughed nervously.
"Interesting" Tristran thought out loudly. "Arthur wishes to speak you when you have finished packing."
"Is he angry with me?" Fabian was clearly very nervous about his life's new situation.
Tristran didn't reply and instead stood there with his arms folded across his chest waiting for Fabain to finish packing.
"Done, let's go." Fabian lifted his bags and followed Tristran to the stables where Arthur was waiting on him.
"Tristran, please scout ahead and look for the fastest road back to our fortress." Arthur handed Tristran the map he had been given by Sebastian.
"Fabian…" Arthur looked at the boy and saw that he would turn into a man within a year. Fabian was tall and wiry. It was clear that the boy was still growing. Arthur judged him to be a year or two younger than Galahad.
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have betrayed Sebastian's trust by showing his hiding place. It's just…" Fabian stumbled and stuttered his way over the sentences.
"Fabian, you didn't do anything wrong." Arthur smiled calmly at the nervous boy.
"But you are going to punish Sebastian?" Fabian was concerned about Sebastian's welfare.
"Promise not to tell anyone?" Arthur looked for winning the trust of Fabian.
"Cross my heart and hope to die." Fabian said breathless.
"I think Sebastian acted out of self-defence, therefore I will not punish him." Arthur admitted.
"No, you must punish Sebastian." Panic came forth in Fabian's voice.
"What!" Arthur was confused. Didn't Fabian just show concern for Sebastian?
"If you don't, the others will hurt Sebastian." Fabian still sounding a little panicked.
"Don't worry, I will take care of it" Arthur patted Fabian on his shoulders. The boy looked a little more relieved after Arthur assured him nothing bad would happen to Sebastian.
"I was wondering whether you could pack Sebastian's stuff since he cannot do it at this moment." Arthur asked.
"I would only have to get Sebastian's bag, which he keeps packed all the time." Fabian seemed relieved to be able to do something.
"What about the stuff in his room, his clothes?" Arthur wondered.
"Sebastian doesn't have a room and the clothes he's wearing is all he has." Fabian said softly.
"Aha. Then could you make sure that you take Sebastian's bag with you?" Arthur didn't want any of the others to take Sebastian's stuff for it would probably get lost.
Fabian nodded as he went in search of Sebastian's bag. Arthur made his way over to Dagonet to check on Sebastian.
"Is he awake?" Arthur asked Bors who stood guard at the door.
"No, and I don't think he wants to wake up." Bors looked grimly, which worried Arthur for Bors hardly ever looked that way.
Arthur knocked on the door, which was quickly opened by Dagonet. Who looked, if possible, even grimmer than Bors.
"How is he doing?" Arthur inquired looking at the dirty human being lying on a table.
"He's bad." Dagonet said.
"Can we transport him?" Arthur didn't want to risk staying longer.
"I want to show you something." Dagonet said as he walked towards the table.
He lifted Sebastian's arm and let go of it, Sebastian's arm fall back on to the table. Arthur wondered what Dagonet was getting at. Dagonet then tried to put his hands on Sebastian's hips, Sebastian turned and let himself fall on the floor, lying there motionless.
"That's odd." Arthur remarked.
"That's more than odd." Dagonet added.
"So that shall be a no on moving him?" Arthur sighed.
"Not really." Dagonet grabbed Sebastian by the arms and hauled him back on the table.
"Explain." Arthur asked.
"I believe that he's awake and knows everything that is going on. Maybe he's hoping that we will leave him behind." Dagonet turned Sebastian's head so that he could look at the boy.
"So you are suggesting we just put him on his horse and hope that he doesn't fall off?" Arthur smiled at the thought.
"That could be prevented by tying him to the horse." Dagonet smiled back.
"But what if we're being attacked?" Arthur had realized what Dagonet was trying to do.
"Then the Woads can improve their target practice." Dagonet got a piece of rope and was walking towards Sebastian.
Even before Dagonet had reached the table, Sebastian had rolled himself of the table and was attempting to get to his feet. He grabbed the table for support as he stood there wobbling.
"Sebastian, you are going to show Dagonet your injuries, and let him tend to you. If you don't do this, I will let Dagonet tie you to the horse and let the Woads use you as target practice." Arthur threatened.
"I will not harm you." Dagonet said holding up his arms as Sebastian observed the situation he was in. Hesitantly he nodded to Arthur.
"Right, I'll leave you to it then." Arthur smiled and left the room.
"What is causing the most trouble to you?" Dagonet walked over to Sebastian with clean cloths and a bowl of fresh water.
Sebastian sat down carefully on the stool next to the table and pointed towards his head.
"I'm just going to look and clean the filth away." Dagonet said as he took a wet cloth in his hand, Sebastian nodded to him.
Dagonet carefully removed the filth and dried blood from Sebastian's face. When Dagonet was satisfied with the cleaning he looked at the wounds. Sebastian's lip was split, he had a footprint on his left cheek and several bumps and bruises at both sides of his temple. The person who did this defiantly knew what he was aiming for. There were some bruises forming around Sebastian's eyes, but it wasn't as bad as Dagonet expected.
"I'm going to make you a compress so that the headache subsides a bit. I fear that you have a concussion." Dagonet looked Sebastian in the eye, checking for a difference in pupils, fortunately there wasn't.
"Can you take of your shirt?" Dagonet asked.
Sebastian very slowly removed the shirt and Dagonet had to control himself as he saw Sebastian's back. The boy's back was covered with bruises and cuts, not to mention various scares from previous punishments.
"Sebastian that will also have to go." Dagonet pointed towards the breastplate on Sebastian's chest. Dagonet took a minute to admire the handwork on it. It was made of animalskin decorated with beads.
Sebastian shook his head and tried to grab hold of his shirt again.
"No, you don't." Dagonet was quicker than Sebastian, who moved away from Dagonet.
"I'm not going to harm you." Dagonet said again. "I just want to check for broken bones."
Sebastian shook his head, but moved his own hands along his clearly visible ribs proving to Dagonet that nothing was broken.
"That's good. How about your legs?" Dagonet had to settle for getting the boy undressed slowly.
Taking off the pants legs Sebastian showed that there were no broken bones, only bruises and cuts.
Dagonet moved to get Sebastian's pants. "I think these need a good wash, don't you?"
Sebastian shook his head and again tried to get his clothes back from Dagonet.
"I think they do, where are you're other clothes?" Dagonet kept the clothes out of Sebastian's reach. "You do have other clothes?" Sebastian shook his head.
"Than I shall give you some of mine." Dagonet smiled at the boy and handed Sebastian a cloth to get himself cleaned up.
Dagonet left the room knowing that Sebastian wasn't about to go anywhere. He gave Sebastian's clothes to one of the maids and ordered her to clean them quickly. He decided to give Sebastian some privacy, since the boy seemed so keen on it.
"Bors, don't let anybody in." Dagonet said as he went in search of spare clothes for Sebastian.
"What if he comes out." Bors yelled after him.
"He won't." Dagonet said as he walked to the stables.
At the stables Arthur and the rest looked in amazement at the amount of stuff Antonio wanted to take with him.
"Arthur if he walks back to his room again, he's going to need a second wagon." Lancelot looked as the first wagon was completely stuffed with God knew what.
"Antonio do you really need to take this armoire with you?" Arthur looked at the heavily ornamented armoire that the squires where trying to get onto the wagon.
"Arthur." Dagonet walked up to his commander who quickly forgot about Antonio and his armoire.
"What did you find?" Arthur walked with Dagonet to a more secluded place.
"He's been beat up pretty bad, not to mention any other damage done that he wouldn't show me." Dagonet sighed.
"Can he ride, without causing more injury to himself?" Arthur needed to know.
"He shouldn't, but I don't believe we can stop him. I shall keep an eye out and ride close by." Dagonet said as he walked over to his horse to get a shirt and some pants.
"For Sebastian?" Arthur looked at the clothes. "Couldn't you loan something from Galahad?"
"Sebastian likes hiding." Dagonet said as he walked off with the clothes.
"Drowning would be more likely." Arthur said to Dagonet's disappearing back.
"Talking to yourself again?" Lancelot had sneaked up to Arthur.
"You know me the best, you tell me." Arthur was getting tired already and the day had just begun.
"I apologize. This is not a good day for teasing." Lancelot turned serious.
"No it isn't." Arthur rubbed his hand over his face.
"Want to hear some good news?" Lancelot's dark eyes twinkled with pleasure.
"Not if it gives you that look." Not that such an answer would discourage Lancelot.
"It looks like we don't need to take another wagon after all." Lancelot smirked a dirty little wicked grin.
"Antonio finally came to his senses?" Arthur wondered.
"No, the wagon collapsed under the weight, and none of the merchants around here is willing to give him a new one." Lancelot started to laugh loudly and Arthur quickly joined him.
"I'm going to look if Dagonet and Sebastian are ready to leave." Arthur said when he and Lancelot had finally calmed down.
"You do that. I'll check whether the rest is ready to go." Lancelot whipped the tears from his eyes leaving the stables.
Dagonet had returned to find a considerably cleaner looking Sebastian standing in the darkest part of the room. Bors followed Dagonet in the room to take Dagonet's stuff to the stables.
"Boy you really need to eat more, don't you worry. I'll have Vanora make you some extra things." Bors winked at Sebastian as he left the room with Dagonet's stuff.
"Here put these on." Dagonet handed Sebastian a simple shirt and leather pants.
Sebastian quickly pulled the shirt of his head and rolled up the sleeves. He held the pants in front of him looking confused at them.
"Just put your legs each in one of the holes." Dagonet provided.
Sebastian did as he was told but when he pulled the pants up, they nearly reached his armpits. Shaking his head he pulled the pants off and handed them back to Dagonet.
"You cannot ride without pants, it's far to cold." Dagonet shoved the pants back to Sebastian.
"Trouble?" Arthur asked as he had observed the pair for several moments.
"The pants don't fit." Dagonet replied as Sebastian visually seemed to shrink into the darkness.
"I'll ask Tristran for a pair, he's about the same size." Arthur suggested.
"No, I'll go. I'll send Tristran to you. I have to check on my horse." Dagonet said leaving Arthur and Sebastian alone in the room.
Sensing that Arthur wouldn't harm him, Sebastian started to adjust the shirt so that it was easier to move or fight in. Arthur just stood and watched the boy. He felt himself get nauseous at seeing the hand- and footmarks on Sebastian's thighs.
"Arthur." Tristran walked in the room with a pair of pants in his hands.
"What did you find?" Arthur tore his eyes away from Sebastian.
Tristran casually threw the pants at Sebastian who managed to catch them. He delivered his report to Arthur while watching Sebastian pulling up the pants. They were still two sizes to wide for him so Sebastian stood there with his hands holding the pants up.
"Let the men know that we are ready to ride." Arthur said to Tristran as he walked over to Sebastian.
Sebastian stumbled away from Arthur when he got a piece of robe from the table.
"No, it's to hold the pants up." Arthur demonstrated what he was going to do.
Sebastian put his hand out so that Arthur could give him the rope. He quickly tied the rope around the pants and jumped a couple of times testing whether the pants would stay up.
Arthur had trouble holding his laughter. There in the middle of the room stood Sebastian looking at his pants without any expression on his face, jumping up and down.
"Come we ride." Arthur opened the door and Sebastian made sure he was behind Arthur but out of his reach.
Arthur was met in the stables by Commander Cesario and a loudly complaining Antonio. Lancelot stood behind them and was shaking his head at Arthur.
"Arthur, I thought that you were going to punish the boy." Cesario noticed that Sebastian had been treated for his injuries.
"I will punish him when we reach our fortress. I need him during the journey." Arthur almost hissed.
"Fine, I bid you God's speed." Cesario snarled back.
Tristran watched Cesario as the others started to ride out of the stable. Balthazar leaned towards Cesario as they met by the stable doors, whispering something to each other. Tristran definitely didn't like the evil grin that came upon Balthazar's face as he rode away from Cesario.
"Dags" Tristran rode towards Dagonet who was next to Sebastian. Dagonet looked at Tristran and nodded as Tristran pointed towards Balthazar.
Arthur had his knights ride quick and hard for the first three days, only resting when it became too dark. So far they hadn't encountered any trouble, but Arthur knew that could change very quickly once they reached closer to Hadrian's Wall.
Tristran had chosen another path. It would take them above the wall. Arthur wanted the fastest way home, and this way they would take two days of their journey.
Please let me know what you think, there is alway room for improvement.