A/N: It's been a twisty road to this point. This is one ending of the story. For some of you, this trip ends here. There will be one more chapter, but if you are happy with this ending I would simply let it be the final chapter for you. Make sure you review if you've enjoyed this story, because it was not very easy to write it all up and it was the reviews which kept me at it.

Disclaimer: A change of perspective for these final two chapters. I hope you enjoy this chapter, especially if it's the last one you read. Have fun. Oh, and there should probably be a warning for some naughty language and adult themes.

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Ever After is a long time

You know that old saying, life's a bitch and then you die? Yeah, well, I can tell you from personal experience that's only half of what the saying is.

Life is a bitch and then you die, after which you can embarrass your daughter with your disgustingly juvenile and stomach turningly touchy-feely behaviour.

My mom and dad are both dead, which, y'know, sucks. Especially when they insist on eating all of the popcorn even though neither of them even need food. God, they're so selfish! At least that's better than when they both start making out in the couch that I'm sitting on. That's just… creepy.

See, my dad is a vampire. He died like, two hundred years before I was even born or something and then he went and boinked some ex vampire lady who was dying of syphilis. I'm not too sure about that. Mom gets pretty pissy when the story comes up and then things between them get all sexual and I have to leave the room.

Mom is a bit more normal. Well, sorta. She only died the year before I was born, but she was also dead for a little bit a few years before that, long story. She's not my real mom, but she is kinda. I mean, she's been around for years and years, since I was like, four or something so she's the only mom I've ever known.

It's kinda sickening that in a few years I'll look older than them, too. Hell, Mom and I get mistaken for sisters all the time and not even in that kiss-ass way that strangers get to old ladies and it totally sucks because I'm a natural blonde, but Mom is so obviously a Clairol girl.

Of course, having such young looking parents isn't so great when you want friends to behave.

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"So, Mrs Barclay," Marc began smoothly, leaning back on the bench next to her. "Have you given any more thought to my proposal?"

Buffy suppressed a smirk and continued to wipe the glasses in the sink. "I don't know, Marc."

"Ah, Mrs B," the boy sighed melodramatically. "Your husband doesn't love you like I do."

Buffy snickered a little before gaining control of herself. "That may be true, but I don't think Will would like it if I ran away with you."

"You should, nay, you must let me express my love physically," Marc said fervently. "Mr B doesn't have to know."

Buffy finally laughed out loud and shoved the boy from the kitchen. "Go on, get!"

"We could do it right now," Marc argued as he was moved inexorably out of the clean kitchen. "He's in there getting seduced by all of Katie's tarty friends!"

Buffy laughed again and Spike's British timbre barked, "Stay away from my wife, you little tosser."

"I'm so misunderstood," Marc lamented as he trudged to the living room. He carefully adjusted his thin jacket and glanced about the room before dropping himself on Seth's lap.

"Hey, get the hell off me," Seth complained, shoving at his friend.

"Please, don't interrupt my teenage angst," Marc said politely, affecting an expression of such pained dimensions that Juliet rolled her eyes and hurled a cushion at the boy.

"Can you finish the story, Mr Barclay?" Alyson asked shyly, blushing when the vampire gave her his trademark smirk.

"Yeah, Spike," Juliet agreed suggestively, leaning forward to show off an ample amount of neck and bosom.

"Ah, yeah," Spike replied, eyeing Juliet cautiously. "So there we were, Katie bleeding out of a massive wound and everyone beaten and bloody. The evil demon gloated above us and began to chant the spell that would have banished Buffy's soul into the ether. So I jumped up real quick and hurtled at the demon, wrapped my hands around his neck and snapped it like a dry twig,"

The girls began to murmur appreciatively when Seth said, "You know, Mr B, I spoke to my dad about that and he said you sat their crying and it was one Rupert Giles who fired a surprise crossbow bolt into the demon's neck, ending his life."

Spike's eyes goggled. "That's a load of bollocks!" he exploded. "Your bloody dad wasn't even there!"

"You know," Marc said loudly, "I wouldn't have simply cried. I would have protected my woman."

Spike snarled and leaned towards the boy threateningly as Buffy's laughter echoed through the house. "Listen, you little wanker," the vampire growled, gripping the boy's collar threateningly.

"Mrs B," he yelped. "Save me from your brutal husband!"

"Dad, let him go," Katie ordered as she waltzed in from her bedroom. "I know he's an idiot but the police will want to know who killed him if he turns up dead."

Seth let out a wolf whistle as he took in the blonde's ensemble, tight black leather pants and a red halter top.

Marc scrabbled away from Spike before looking Katie up and down very deliberately. "That's quite an outfit you have on, Miss Barclay. Why don't you come and sit on my lap?" Marc asked, patting his thigh. "We can talk about anything that pops up."

"Right, that's it," Spike growled and Marc bolted towards the kitchen.

"Mrs B, help," he wailed as Spike chased after him.

"You look nice, Caitlin," Andy said adoringly.

Katie smiled brightly at him and twirled. "It's not too much?"

Juliet, who was wearing something similar but more revealing, insinuated an arm into Katie's. "Not at all, my friend," she murmured. "Now, when your dad is tired of chasing Marc we can finally go out and celebrate your sweet sixteenth."

"I wouldn't say she's sweet," Seth muttered wryly, and got a ladylike punch in the arm for his trouble. He turned puppy dog eyes on his girlfriend Alyson. "Baby, look what she did to me."

Katie rolled her eyes when he shot her a victorious smirk over the fussing girl's head. "Let's go, guys."

The group made their way to the front door and they waited impatiently while Marc sprinted his way through the house to reach them. A glowering Spike and a beaming Buffy stood at the door to see them all off.

As they made their way into the street Spike bellowed, "All of you little berks better keep your sodding fingers to yourselves or I'll snap them off, one by one!"

Marc spun theatrically on his heel. "I can't be held responsible, Mr B! My animal magnetism is simply too strong for the lovely young ladies, such as your wife and daughter, to keep their hands to themselves!"

Spike growled again and only Buffy's firm grip on his elbow stopped him chasing the boy down and feasting on his entrails. "Behave yourself," she chided him. "He only does it to get a rise out of you."

Buffy led her husband back into the house and pressed him back against the wall, kissing at his neck. "Now who's trying to get a rise out of me?" Spike asked huskily, cocking one eyebrow at the innuendo.

The Slayer stuck her tongue out at him petulantly and he captured it in his mouth and began to kiss her deeply. The door opened and Katie stepped in before shrieking and throwing her hands up to ward off evil.

"You guys, stop, that's gross," Katie complained, clutching her stomach. "I think I'm gonna be sick. Oh, God, blind me now! It's the last time I ever forget my keys."

"Mrs B, how could you?" Marc accused from the lawn. "You've broken my heart and ruined me for all other women. I hope you can live with yourself."

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It's a weird thing, my life.

Sixteen, living on a Hellmouth, two immortal, inhuman (literally) parents, a friend who is out to seduce my mother and another who is out to seduce my father. The six of us, me, Juliet, Alyson, Seth, Andy and Marc, are the only ones in our entire school who are even aware of the danger you're in when you go out at night in Sunnydale.

Well, Sarah knows too, and Alyson's mom is the IT teacher and she knows, and I kinda think our History teacher is some sort of demon as well, and I think the janitors know because they all have crosses when they're cleaning after school and I've seen a few of the kids staring at my dad a little strangely.

Okay, so a lot of people know about the dangers of Sunnydale. But I'm the only one who lives with one of them. Well, Seth's mom is kinda an ex-vengeance demon. And now that I think about it, I think Dad mentioned something about Lisa's mom being a werewolf. Okay, so I'm not the only one of those either.

I am, without a doubt, the prettiest, though.

I guess my life's not so bad. I have friends, family, my health, stunning good looks and a snappy wardrobe. I'm young, and I've got the rest of my life ahead of me.

Barring an apocalypse.

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A/N: Well, that's it. I couldn't think of a better way to end this fic (for some of you) than with a glimpse into the future. It's short, sweet, and hopefully it caused a snicker or two. As for how the demon Jim was really vanquished, who do you really believe? Spike? Xander? It will always be a mystery. Actually, it won't. For those of you who are content with this as an ending, then this is the end and I hope you have enjoyed the experience. Let me know what you thought of it in a review.