I realized that the last few chapters there was a lack of athors notes from me, but I dont feel like the story needs many.

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Chapter 8

I've become so numb without a soul, my spirit sleeping somewhere cold until you find it there and lead it back home

"So what do you want to do today?" he asked her after she finished her tea. He needed her to get out of the room, to stop staring out of the window, to stop dying.

She only nuzzled his throat with her nose and remained silent. She clung to him, her hand gripping his shirt, her body lying on top of his own.

"Hey, Miss Lazy, we can´t spend the whole day in bed. That´s not very productive, you know!" he tried to joke and rubbed her back with one hand.

"Mmmh" she made and closed her eyes.

"Hey, don´t sleep! You can´t fall asleep on top of me! I already can´t feel my legs anymore. Why don´t we go for a walk? Maybe the hospital has a garden or something. Come on" he pinched her waist softly.

"I can´t. I can´t walk and I hate this stupid wheelchair and I don´t want to go out looking like this. It´s embarrassing enough that you see me," she mumbled already half asleep.

"Okay, then we stay here. Just get out of bed for some time, okay? We could sit over there on the window. Play cards or read a book. There must be something you want to do."

Lukes pleading was having an effect on her. Although she didn´t want to do anything she realized how important it was for him.

"Maybe you can call the nurse, so that I can take a shower? I could really use one," she suggested and he smiled.

"Forget about the nurse and we have a deal," he said.

"No, Luke, really. I don´t want you to do that. I´m embarrassed enough as it is I don´t need you to shower me."

"It´s not like we never did that before. I´ve seen it all. I´m your man Lorelai, what is there to be embarrassed about?"

"You are not..." she couldn´t say it.

"I said "I do", remember?" he reminded her.

"Okay" She did not have the power to argue with him about a shower. Or about anything else. She would do anything he asked her to just that he would stay.

That morning she had wanted him to leave, just to protect him, but now she only wanted him to stay. She had understood that he meant the "I do" and that he would not let her go again. He needed her to lean on him.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I have to jump in here. Uh, I know you think you have this thing handled, but I can help. First off, we call Yale and we tell them something like, uh, Rory had a chemical imbalance and she was mentally out of her mind when she told them she was dropping out. And then we get her out of your parents house whatever way we can. We lock her up in her room with

you, because you can talk anybody into anything. And if worse comes to worst, we will drive her to school every day and we will follow her to class and camp out there to make sure she goes. I'll take morning classes, you take afternoon classes, or the other way around, if it works out better for your schedule. And I know there's a few kinks to work out, the kidnapping thing might be a little problematic but either way, she is not quitting school. This was her dream. I am not going to let this happen. What?"

"Luke, will you marry me?"

Luke stood up and put her in a sitting position.

"We need the wheelchair, I can´t walk", she said quietly and looked on the floor.

"You tried?" She shook her head. He took her hands and squeezed them gently, made her look up. After some moments of looking at her he put his hands under her armpits and lifted her slowly off the bed, put her down in front of him, so that she was standing. He carried her weight for some time, then took his hands away, so she had to stand freely. He took one step back from her and opened his arms. Like a toddler she stumbled into his arms and he caught her. She felt safe again.

They did that three times more and were nearly at the bathroom-door when her legs started trembling.

Before she could say something he had her scooped up in his arms and carried her into the bathroom.

He sat her down on the closed toilet, she sighed, bit her lower-lip.

He kneeled down in front of her, placed his hands on her knees.

"I can call the nurse, you know" his hands stroked up and down on her thighs. She looked at him, then shook her head. He kissed her cheek and grabbed the hem of her shirt.

"Arms up" he pulled the shirt over her head. He slung his arms around her and opened the clasp of her bra, then slid it of.

He pulled her up by her arms. She was standing in front of him, her gaze on the floor again. His eyes wandered over her body and his hands followed. From her collar-bone, which stood out, over her breast-bone and her breasts, down over her ribs, which were clearly visible, down on her stomach were he found a huge scar on her left side, where the ribcage ended. He had felt through the shirt that she was skinny, but she was emaciated. Skin and bones, nothing else left. On the skin he could make out little wounds from injections, IV, catheter...

"My god, what have they done to you?" he whispered shocked.

"It hurt so much. I don´t want them to hurt me anymore. Or make me throw up. I just want it to stop." she said and her tears dropped on the bathroom-floor.

"No ne will hurt you anymore. I´m here now. I´ll look after you" he slung his arms around her and rocked her from side to side for the second time that day. He began to caress her back with two fingers, stroked up and down.

She broke out in goose-bumps and he felt her nipples harden against his chest.

"Let´s get you in the shower, you´re cold" he said and she felt his breath on her ear.

"I´m not cold" she pressed her lips on a spot under his ear, before she pulled back.

He steadied her when she slid of her sweatpants and her slip, helped her in the shower. There was a seat in it he realized relieved. He started the water and waited until it heated up. He made her whole body wet and then used his own shower-gel and massaged her skin thoroughly, then he washed it off. He reached for the bandana which covered her head, but she caught his hand.

"I want to do it. Alone" He nodded and told her he would be waiting outside.

When the door closed behind him, he leaned against the wall and buried his face in his hands and tried to keep himself from crying.

TBC Please review that I know you are out there!