Chapter 16: I Will Not Fear
...In...
Barriss' fist trembled on her lightsabre.
...Out...
Sweat beaded on her brow.
...In...
Her eyes narrowed, twitching slightly.
...Out...
The dark figure in front of her only stared, mask glaring at her.
...In...
It was like he was a black hole of rage, self-loathing and hatred, exerting pressure on everything around him. But there was something oddly familiar in it.
...Out...
No...not everything. Just her exclusively. Tendrils of hatred tugging at her and pulling her, and making her feel like she'd been wrenched hundreds of feet underwater without a pressure suit.
...In...
This must be the Darth Vader Ahsoka had referred to. And he was on a completely different level to the Inquisitors.
...Out...
Barriss twitched her head. Keep it together Offee, she thought. She just needed to hold him here, just long enough for Ahsoka to get back. Together they could take him. For now...she just needed to hold him here.
"I'm sorry but I don't think we've met before!" Barriss said, trying to force cheer into her voice. "Pretty sure I'd remember the get up if I had."
"It was because of you that she left me," the harsh distorted voice issued from the mask.
Barriss shrugged elaborately. "What can I say? I have a pretty face."
The faceless glare intensified. "My apprentice..."
Dread. Dread filled her. Her eyes slowly opened wider as her mouth dropped open and her arms fell towards her sides. She trembled. Quivered. As she suddenly realized where she'd felt the familiar feeling before.
And behind the dark figure, she could just make out a shadow. The shadow of a young man, his eyes burning into her with hatred.
"It...can't be..." she breathed. "Anakin..."
Vader twisted his head. "No. Anakin died on the fires of Mustafar," he said. His lightsabre ignited, casting red flames across the eye lenses. "But his anger still burns within me."
Ahsoka...RUN!
Ahsoka looked up from where she was planting the detonator. The premonition, the shout through the Force had startled her.
"What's wrong?" Calcian asked with some trepidation, walking along the gantry to her. They'd managed to get into the room without too much trouble, there were a couple of the stormtroopers about but nothing difficult to take care of. He had been thinking this was going a bit too smoothly though.
"I don't..." Ahsoka began. She closed her eyes and stretched out her senses and felt...
Darkness. All-encompassing. Swallowing. And near it was-
"Barriss!" Ahsoka shouted, and ran through the door.
"No wait!" Calcian ran after her.
Barriss ignited her blue lightsabre and brought it up into a block as Vader attacked. His movements were slower, telegraphed-she could use her superior athleticism to-
The sheer ferocity of the blow knocked her off balance and she had to scramble to get her lightsabre back into position to block the next blow. Barely block it.
What is this power? Not even Anakin was...!
She tried keeping pace, keeping her balance but it was difficult. Vader wasn't especially fast and his movements, due to the suit, were clunky but Barriss wasn't getting any chance to make use of the openings, because she was having to expend so much energy and time trying to block the attacks and get herself back on balance for the follow-up ones.
I need to reset this...
The red lightsabre struck for her head, and Barriss ducked under it and then backflipped out before the follow-up strike landed. She hit the ground in a crouch and put herself into the Form III ready position, panting.
It didn't help that she was already physically and mentally exhausted from the rest of the day's exertions. But even at full power...
She snapped up her lightsabre into a ready guard, as Vader patrolled in front of her.
"I can sense your fear," he rumbled. Barriss twitched. "Know that you will find no mercy from me."
"I wouldn't expect any!" Barriss spat, taking advantage of the break to try and recover. She started to settle her breathing, not quite sinking into meditation but getting there, just enough to bring her senses-
Her eyes snapped wide. She could feel her coming, could feel Ashoka coming-
There was a wave of relief through her. Yes. The two of them together could handle this. They'd be able to...
But no. If Ahsoka came then she would know. She'd learn who Vader was, who he really was. And that...what that would do to her...
'Oh, Ahsoka...I could break you with five little words...'
"Barriss!"
She heard the shout and instantly whirled around and pointed her hand at the control panel for the hangar blast doors. The doors started to shut, and then she ripped the panel out of the wall so it couldn't be opened. She allowed herself a brief look over, seeing her face a mix of confusion and panic and desperation, white sabres flaring-
Then the door shut and she whirled back around in time for her blue lightsabre to crash against the descending red.
"No, no, no, no, no!" Ahsoka flew at the door and smashed her lightsabres into it. It was thick, it would take time, but she could get through it, she could, she would-
"Ahsoka!" Calcian shouted the warning, just as the blaster fire thudded next to her.
Enraged, Ashoka removed her shoto sabre and slapped away the incoming blaster bolts. She wouldn't let them get in the way. Not now. Not after everything. Not now.
Calcian hunkered at the side of the corridor and returned fire to the squad of stormtroopers that had arrived and were laying down fire. More kept arriving, too many to handle. "Ahsoka, it's too late!" Calcian shouted. "We have to go!"
"No!" Ahsoka growled, swinging the shoto blade without looking around. A bolt rang close to her head, and then one clipped her calf, making her cry out in pain and bend her leg.
"Ahsoka!"
She scrunched her eyes shut and then with a roar of anger and pain, she removed her main sabre and swung back, deflecting the blaster bolts and ran towards Calcian, limping slightly on her bad leg. "Come on," she said, helping him up, deflecting more blaster bolts. The stormtroopers were backing away slightly now they had her full attention. "If we get back to the manufacturing space, there's another exit we can use."
"Right!" Calcian agreed. They slipped up the corridor and then ran down it, heading towards where they'd planted the detonators. Calcian spun and fired behind him, taking out two stormtroopers-
Return fire caught him in the abdomen and he yelled in pain and crashed onto the floor.
Ahsoka spun and flung up a hand, shoving the troopers back with the Force, then helped Calcian up and down the corridor as he winced and moaned with the pain. She deflected more blaster bolts, and then got them into the manufacturing space and closed the door, and stabbed her lightsabre through the panel, jamming it.
"Well, that could have gone better..." Calcian groaned, holding his side.
The last time this scene had played out, Barriss had made the rather stupid decision, or self-sabotaging decision might be more accurate, to try and fight Anakin rather than run. She wouldn't be making that mistake this time.
She'd steadied herself a bit more and rather than directly trying to block Vader's strikes, she instead backed up, to take some of the pressure and strength out of them when they hit her lightsabre, conserving some of her strength and stopping her from getting thrown off balance so badly. Although she was retreating, she was doing so at her own pace and in her own direction. Waiting for the right positioning...
Yes. There it was. A gap between the walls and the transport shit, leading out towards the entrance to the hangar. She had a clear run.
Barriss leapt back and then yelled and charged forward, bringing her lightsabre up into a striking position-
Vader swung at her-
And she deactivated her lightsabre and slid onto her knees, leaning back so his lightsabre just passed over her head as she slid beneath it-
Then she was up on her feet and running for the large opening. If she could get over the lip and down the field she could leap into the water. The current of the river and her own swimming would be able to take her down to the speeder bike. Once she was on that she'd be able to get away. Ahsoka would be able to sneak out, they'd be able to get to the ship and-
She halted suddenly. One leg was half-raised about to plant down but now it was a struggle to move it. She tried forcing herself forward, the lip of the hangar was within grasp, she was reaching for it-
She glanced back over her shoulder. Vader held a hand out towards her, fingers splayed, holding her, exerting pressure to pull her back.
No...no! She'd been so close!
She couldn't resist anymore and she was flung backwards, towards Vader, towards his waiting strike-
She shoved her hands down and used the Force to push herself up and flip over the swing, landing behind him. Vader whirled around to face her as she reactivated her lightsabre, bringing it into her ready stance.
Escape was no longer an option. She had to win.
But how?! Even if she was fully rested she doubted that she would be able to win the battle. Vader was just too powerful, too strong, too everything. But maybe...if she could manufacture an opening, take a swing...
It wasn't like she had any other options.
Vader advanced towards her and swung. She caught the blade and moved out of the way, dampening some of the force of the strike again. Vader stepped closer, aware of what she was doing and not letting her move out of the way of his blows so easily. She had to struggle more to keep blocking him, expending more energy. But she was still working, waiting for just the right strike as the sweat peeled down her skin.
Just...wait...for the right...moment...
It came at last, as Vader pulled back his lightsabre and then swung in a diagonal arc, aiming to split her from her left shoulder to her right hip-
Barriss brought her blade up to block, and then deactivated the lightsabre and spun out of the way-
Vader overbalanced, his lightsabre not hitting the resistance he'd expected-
Barriss reactivated her lightsabre and put everything she had into a swing at Vader's head-
But Vader angled his body slightly and her lightsabre crashed into and spat off his shoulder guard. Vader let out a growl of pain, but he wasn't seriously injured.
Barriss panted. She was spent. She'd put everything she'd had, mentally and physically into manufacturing that opening and it hadn't worked, it hadn't worked!
Vader loomed over her, advanced towards her, and she pulled her lightsabre up to defend. Her focus drifted as she tried desperately to work out a way to escape. The vicious and unrelenting attacks came in and she blocked them, batting them aside, unable to get any strikes in, in return, but with each block, Vader's sabre came closer and closer to hitting the target-
Perhaps she could escape to the gantry lining the hangar? Maybe that had been her error. If she could just...get up there...if she could...she could...she...she...could...
Vader slapped her lightsabre aside and Barriss lost her two-handed grip, her right arm flung out-
And Vader took advantage, sweeping his blade up and cutting off her hand.
Barriss screamed and collapsed to the floor, scrambling back and pulling her arm to her. She held the stump of her arm in front of her eyes, saw the smoke curling off it, the fetid scent of her own flesh burning, the black blood bubbling in it.
She turned her eyes up. She trembled with fear. The eye of a red lightsabre was pointed directly at her face. The shadow loomed behind it.
"There will be no escape this time," Vader growled.
"Come on, Calcian, we can-" Ahsoka began, but a raised hand cut her off.
"No...No I can't..." He winced and clutched at his abdomen. Ahsoka knelt down beside him, concerned. He took his hand away and she could see the blacked gash where the blaster bolt had pierced him. "Right in the stomach..." he groaned. "Not coming back from this one..."
"Calcian, if we get out we can-"
"No!" He gripped her arm. "You get out. Don't worry about me." He scrunched his eyes. "Whatever happens here, you have to survive. I was always a small-time person, I was never going to amount to much more than this..."
"That's not-"
"Please, let me finish my dramatic speech without interrupting."
Ahsoka raised a smile and kept quiet.
"You can do so much more. Contribute so much more. You have to take your chance, do you hear me? The rebellion needs people like you. People who can inspire." He raised a shaky hand and pointed at the pipes above. "Those pipes, they'll take you out to the river. They won't be sucking water through them now so you can crawl through."
"Calcian..."
"Go Ahsoka." He took out the detonator and pressed down his finger on it. He smiled. "Deadman switch. I'll take as many as I can. Now go, go. Save Barriss if you can. But survive."
Ahsoka gripped his arm. "You were a good man Calcian. And you sold yourself short. But I promise you, I will get out of here."
"Yeah, not if you stand here and keep blabbing." There was a banging sound on the other side of the door. Grimacing, Calcian shoved her away. "Now go. Go!"
Ahsoka stood back, walked backwards watching him, and then ran to the central platform and from there leapt up towards the pipes, wincing at the pain in her leg. Landing on them, she jumped up to the higher and larger pipes and ignited her lightsabre. She cut a hole in the bottom, and a trickle of water dribbled through. She spared one last glance at Calcian, and then leapt into the hole and started to crawl through the pipe, heading towards the pumps.
On the ground, Calcian's breathing slowed. He glanced over to where Grotu's head had landed, where Bashalar had blown himself up, craned his head to where Leorna had been stabbed. The door shuddered as the troopers started cutting it open.
Well, guys...I'm sorry for this debacle...but if there is some Force out there that we all join...well you can all queue up to kick my ass there...
The door burst open, the troopers rushed through.
And Calcian passed away, and the detonator fell from his grip.
Ahsoka looked over her shoulder. She'd felt Calcian go. And then a moment later she'd heard the explosion. She closed her eyes and shook her head in silent rage at the loss. The loss of all of them. The team she'd worked with for-
Her eyes snapped open as she felt the trembling along the pipes.
Oh kriff!
The pressure wave from the explosion funnelled up and through the pipes slammed into her, flinging her along the pipes. She yelled as she skidded across it and then smashed her head off the back of the pipe, losing consciousness as she spun down the suction pipe end and out into the light before smashing into the river.
Barriss stared up at the red plasma beam pointing at her, using one foot to push herself back desperately, with the blade unwaveringly following her along.
It isn't fair! It's not fair!
She'd just reconciled with Ahsoka, something she'd never thought would happen. And more than that they were together. Something she'd dreamed about for so long, something she wanted for so long...
And now it was all just going to be taken away. Just like that. By him.
She wouldn't allow it. She wouldn't accept it. Just for once in her damn life, would be so horrible for her to get something she wanted? After everything she'd been through, after everything she'd suffered through, was it really so terrible, for her to just have one thing that would bring happiness?
Vader pulled back his arm, preparing to strike.
"No!" Barriss screamed and flung out her left hand-
And bolts of lightning screamed and arced out of her fingertips and slammed into Vader.
Vader let out a mechanical howl as he staggered back and collapsed onto his knees, the flashing of the lightning spitting around his body lighting up the interior so his skull and bones could be briefly seen.
The lightning cut out and Barriss stared.
Vader's breathing was laboured, his lightsabre deactivated.
Barriss got to her feet, a smile creeping over her face. Of course! He's mostly mechanical, that's why the breathing is in that rhythm!
She could do this. She felt the power tingling and flickering between her fingertips. She could do this. All it would take is to channel her anger, her rage, her bitterness, her desire, unleash it all against him and then it would be over. He would be dead. And Ahsoka would be hers. Forever. She'd never lose her again. She'd never be alone again. She'd never have to be scared again.
Barriss pulled her arm back, getting ready to throw the bolts again-
When she caught a look at herself on the polished floor. Her face looked...odd. Twisted by a feral grin. And her eyes...if she looked hard she thought she could see a tint of yellow creeping into the blue.
Ahsoka...
If she did this would she really want to be with her? What if she didn't? Would Barriss force her to be?
More importantly, would she want her to be this?
Barriss stumbled back and closed her fist, the power dissipating out of it. No, she couldn't. She couldn't do it. Ahsoka wasn't hers, that was the wrong way to think. She was her own person and Barriss, however much she wanted it, she couldn't do that to her. She wouldn't do that to her.
And at that moment she slumped onto her knees and accepted the fate that had been set for her, all those years ago.
Vader was clambering back to his feet, no sense of mercy, no sense that his life was owed to her.
She closed her eyes and breathed...
I must not fear...
No. That was wrong. She'd always had it wrong. Must not implied that she was afraid, was resisting the fear. But that was the wrong way to conceive of it.
She heard a snap-hiss sound.
I will not fear... she thought. She breathed and reached out-
And at that moment the Force opened to her, in a way that it hadn't for many years. She could feel the presence of Vader, but beyond that, beyond the cloud of darkness, she could see the inside, the slight light of fear at the core of the being-
But she didn't want to see that. She moved her awareness out, to the river, where she saw the white light. Bruised, but alive. Gently, Barriss touched on it, felt her presence, let her feel hers.
A soft smile touched her lips, even as she felt the vibrations of the feet thudding towards her.
Ahsoka, I let you go...thank you for forgiving me. And thank you for...everything...
There was a flare of red against her eyelids-
And she slipped into the Force.
Well, there we go. One chapter left to tie up the loose ends, but Barriss' story is over. Not sure how much justice I did it but...well I'll save my long reflections on all of this for the next one. I hope the fight came over well - writing action in a way that's pacy without being too vague can be quite tricky so I don't know how well I did here ^_^;
prjones339: Oh hello Katooni. "There are no Jedi here." Goodbye Katooni.
XD Though for clarities sake, it wasn't Katooni just someone who looked a lot like her (and Scorpious may have done some alterations to enhance it more). Katooni would, at this point, be about 14 at best and I'm not sure Ahsoka murderising a child would look that good haha
Le055Li0n: Wow, that was a lot, was not expecting that but it was interesting.
Thanks! Nobody ever expects Darth Vader...