12

Disclaimer: These characters are not my peeps.

A/N: There are more unexpected things coming up. This has been fun and exciting to write. I'm so happy about those of you reading along with me. A special thanks goes out to those of you taking time to tell me what's working and what needs work. I'm still about two chapters ahead of this, and am not sure where and how this is ending. I hope to keep you interested.

Oh, and I love music but don't feel it with the passion of most people. However, I couldn't get Bedshaped by Keane out of my head as I wrote this. I'm not even sure what the lyrics mean, but I see Bobby standing on the seashore and I hear this song.

Sheila

Control

Chapter 5

Bobby Goren's body was not ready to be launched out of bed. He took two steps before vertigo took over and he slumped to the floor.

"Jesus, Bobby. How the hell is this going to help?" Logan thundered as he towered over him.

"You lost her." The anger glinted in Bobby's eyes.

Deakins stood on one side and signaled for Logan to move to the other. They each grabbed one of Bobby's arms and hoisted him back into the bed. Deakins hit the buzzer for the nurse while Bobby tried to regain his balance enough to sit up.

"She took off. What happened to Carolyn freaked her out. I think she's afraid that something else would happen to one of us. Ross specifically threatened you again when he was talking to my partner."

Bobby glared at the nurse who came rushing in. "Call my doctor. I need to get out of here." She raised an eyebrow as if waiting for him to reveal the joke, but thought better of it when she saw his agitation. She immediately turned and left.

Logan rolled his eyes. "Right. "Cause you think I'm going to carry you around town. Think again, Goren."

Deakins put up a hand. "All right, you two, that's enough. Neither one of you are acting like you're worth a plug nickel right now. Let's calm down and think about this."

Bobby closed his eyes and leaned back. "When he opened them, he looked at Logan. "How's Carolyn?"

Logan blew air out. "She's spooked. Ross put three water moccasins in her bed. She sat there for four hours praying that she wouldn't get bit. Couldn't struggle. Couldn't move. Afraid to startle them. Her muscles spasmed. They gave her a sedative so that her muscles can uncramp. She's going to be okay, but she's going to need a little time to settle herself."

"I can't figure why she'd just take off like that."

Deakins shook his head. "Of course you can, Bobby. She's been a mess since you got hurt. She feels responsible. Ross is out of control and he's smart. He can hurt whoever he wants if he puts his mind to it. She's worried about her family and she's worried about us, especially you. Call it what you want, but Alex Eames would do anything for you. That's why I want you burning up your cell phone. See if she'll talk to you. If she'll talk to anybody, my guess is it'll be you."

Logan dug it out of Bobby's coat pocket and saw the battery was low. He left for a few minutes and returned with a borrowed charger. Then he handed the phone to Bobby.

Bobby dialed and waited but there was no answer. He tried again but no response. Finally he put the phone down on the bed and grabbed his head with both hands.

"You okay, Bobby?" Deakins approached the bed.

Bobby waved him away. "I need to think and I need my body to start cooperating. Give me a few minutes."

Logan raised an eyebrow. "Good. Put the big brain of yours to work. I'm standing by. I'm gonna be your legs for right now. Just point and I'm on it."

Bobby nodded and closed his eyes, letting his head settle into his pillow. They started to leave when his eyes popped open. "Bring me everything on this case. We're going to run the investigation from here."

Deakins looked at Logan who shrugged. Then he nodded at Bobby. They were going to run a major case from a hospital bed.

………………………………………………………………………………………

"Let's skip the part where you tell me how dumb this is. I can't think of what else to do."

She called back about 30 minutes after he started trying her. She sounded agitated and emotional, and Bobby knew to take it slow. He nodded at Deakins who notified Trace.

"I'm really glad to hear your voice. You're scared. I am too. I'm glad we're talking."

She snorted. "You're talking to me in that voice. You know, the one you use when you're dealing with someone unstable."

"You're right. I'm sorry. I'm trying to be careful here. I'm feeling desperate. I don't want anything to happen to you."

"Did you hear what he did to Carolyn?"

"She's going to be okay, Alex. She's going to be just fine."

"Tell me what you would do in this situation. What if this was about you?"

"I'd probably do what you're doing, and you'd probably do what I'm doing. I would think seriously about killing him. Is that what you're thinking?"

There was silence on the other end. Then she spoke, "If I could find him, I'd do it. Really. I wouldn't play any games either. I would tell Carver exactly what happened, and take whatever deal he was offering."

"How long have we known each other?"

"I think it was January. I remember because you were wearing that ridiculous cap with flaps. Was it 2000 or 2001?"

"I can't remember and I don't like it when my head gets cold. You know that. Do you remember how annoying you found me?"

"You were a little weird."

"And we worked that first case together, and you were toe to toe with me the entire time. I was really impressed. I could tell my…behaviors were getting to you and I was trying everything in the world to act normal."

"I'm sorry that I wasn't more patient with you in the beginning."

"You were perfect. I've never regretted a moment with you."

There was another silence on the other end. "It feels like I'm saying good-bye and I wish I wasn't. I wish I knew what to do."

"This is what happens when you've worked with someone as long as we have. You get stuck, you look for your partner. You know that the whole is better than the sum of its parts. That's what's missing here. I should be there with you."

"At what cost, Bobby? Tell me. I wait for you to get better and he hurts someone else. Maybe he's already got a plan for you. Has the food been checked? Have you vetted the hospital staff? I find him and I can make it stop now. I can't live with the consequences of what he's doing to the people around me."

"And I can't live with the consequences of the choice you're making right now. You're in a panic, Alex. You can't see the other possibilities. Yesterday, we had a team of three people working on this. Today, we have thirty. Nobody does what he did to Barek and gets away with it in this department. Outside the door to this room is a regular police convention. Jimmy Ross is big time now. Your family's safe. I talked to your big brother, Tommy, and he told me to tell you that you get your ass back here now. He said that the Eames family doesn't run from anybody."

"Bobby, you've been running a trace, right? That's why we're reminiscing."

He didn't say anything.

"Tell me, Bobby."

"We're just trying to keep you safe."

"Could Jimmy be tracing the trace?"

"What do you see?"

"I thought I saw movement in the shadows. Bobby, I'm in the warehouse district, pier 34. I was going to call Jimmy from here, but I didn't. I called you. I knew it would help to talk to you."

Bobby jerked his head at Deakins and repeated the address. "Alex, squads are on their way. Are you armed?"

She didn't answer. There was feedback on the line and then the sound grew muffled. He called her name again, and then he heard something.

"Jimmy! I can hear you. Come out! Now! Or I'll shoot."

Goren looked at Deakins. "I think he's there."

Gunshots exploded over the phone and Bobby jumped. Even Deakins could hear. He grabbed his phone and started yelling into it.

Bobby yelled her name into the phone over and over, and then the connection broke and there was nothing but dial tone. Bobby climbed out of bed more carefully this time, reaching for the chair and working his way toward the closet. Deakins started to protest but he could see the futility of it.

Bobby stood up carefully and the captain held out his arm for support. "Thanks," Bobby said simply. His eyes were a millions miles away or maybe just a few miles over to the warehouse district. It didn't matter. He was in a private hell and the captain knew it. He led his best detective out of the hospital, never stopping to explain to the nurses who trotted after them.

…………………………………………………………………….

Logan was already there when they arrived. Crime scene was there, sirens, cars, and police personnel were everywhere. Logan was in the midst of it, waving his arms at anyone near him, barking orders. He spied Goren and Deakins, and peeled away from the crime scene people. He advanced on them, a hard look on his face.

"All bets are off. My new plan is to kill this mope and bury him in my front yard. I don't give a good God damn what his mommy didn't do for him when he was a boy."

Goren looked jittery and pale, one hand massaging his temples. "What do we know?"

"They found her phone and her jacket and her gun. They're looking for shell casings. No witnesses. We got tire tracks. He drove through a puddle, and the boys are shooting them right now before they fade."

Deakins moved off to look at the scene. Logan went over to Goren. "Lean on me, for Christ's sake. You'll fall over and take up valuable resources."

Goren didn't respond but put an arm on the other man's shoulder, and Logan could feel the weight shift in his body.

"We got to find him, Bobby. That's where we focus ourselves. He's done playing 'Johnny on the Spot.' Now he's got what he wants and he has to concentrate all his energy on her. I got people looking through his records. He has to have a place, somewhere secret. How long do you think he would risk driving with her?"

"I don't know. I'm not ready for this. Give me a minute."

"We're putting together a team. I've been calling people. Go back to 1PP. Sit down. Wait for everybody. You can't do anything here. She's gone, Bobby."

…………………………………………………………………………….

Elizabeth Rodgers didn't make it into the squad room much. Life down in Forensics was busy enough, but Logan put out a call to all sorts of folks, and while she wasn't sure that she could actually bring anything to the table, she was damn sure going to try.

She spotted Emil Skoda and nodded at him. He gave her one of his irresistible grins and she headed in his direction. She didn't see him much outside of waiting to testify at trial, but she had always liked his calm demeanor and no nonsense approach to work.

"Hey Liz." He leaned over and bussed her on the cheek. She tried not to blush. He saw her expression. "Aw hell, I forget I gotta act like an automaton in these squad rooms. Sorry. You got the story on this? I don't know this group. Logan made it sound like he was going to come get me himself if I didn't make an appearance."

She smiled. "It's nice to have Logan back. When he points his nose at something, there's no turning back."

"Fill me in a little." He gestured at the detectives filling into the squad.

"Her name is Eames, Alex Eames. You probably have seen her around. She's hard to miss. Tiny as a minute. Blonde. You'll confuse her as a secretary right up to the moment she has you face down on a table, cuffing you. She's honest, hardworking and smart."

"I don't know. I can't place her, but she sounds intriguing."

"Yeah, well, you're not the only one that thinks that. She's got a stalker. Real bad egg. He almost killed her partner, and if what I heard is true, he almost killed another detective just this morning, and the way he did it just leaves me chilled. I keep hearing psychotic when people talk about him. Apparently he called Ron Carver and told him he legally owned her, and just needed the good counselor to hand her over."

Skoda shook his head and let out a low whistle.

"He snatched her up a couple of hours ago."

"Damn. That's tough."

She pulled on his sleeve and pointed. "Over there, the big guy who looks like he's ready to pass out. That's her partner, Bobby Goren."

Bobby was leaning against a column, one hand rubbing his temples. He appeared to be talking to himself. Skoda raised an eyebrow. "He looks like hell."

"Yeah. He got hit in the head with a bat three days ago. He is not at his best right now. Shouldn't even be out of bed."

"His agitation: there's something about him."

She snorted. "He's brilliant and quirky and the family has a history of schizophrenia. He drives a lot of people nuts around here. He's very edgy, sensitive: he seems at war with himself most of the time."

"Interesting."

"He and Eames are tight, intensely so. They're very tuned into one another. They usually act like they are the only two people in the room. Doesn't seem…romantic…although I don't know…he's very protective of her and she of him. This must be killing him."

"Introduce me."

Rodgers took him by the arm and led him over. "Bobby, I want to introduce you to an old friend. This is Dr. Emil Skoda."

Bobby's head jerked up and he looked at them with dull eyes. His razor sharp memory kicked in and he put a hand out. "I've heard of you. Psychiatrist. I've read your work. Your latest article on psychopathology was particularly intriguing. I definitely spent some time thinking about your conclusions and I think I agree with most of them."

"Really? That's refreshing. Most people have branded me a heretic since that came out."

Bobby looked at him again, his eyes gauzy and tired. "I'm sorry. I wish I had time to talk. There's a situation."

"That's why I'm here. Logan called." Skoda looked around the room. "Looks like he called half the civil servants in Manhattan."

"We pretty much already have a profile. I don't know what more—"

Skoda put a hand up. "It's always good to have an extra pair of ears and eyes. Rodgers says your partner's a pretty special person. I want to help."

Bobby nodded. "Good. We need all we can get."

"You should be in bed."

Bobby's face screwed up in frustration. "Doctor, I need help finding her and that's all."

"Okay. Just do everyone a favor and find a chair. I'll send someone out to get you a sports drink. It'll help you to stay hydrated. You look like you could use the calories."

"Thanks." He let Rodgers lead him over to a chair.

Skoda gestured with his head. "Is this the file? I'd like to get a look."

Bobby pushed it toward him. Rodgers noted that he was pale enough to resemble one of her cadavers, and she took off in search of sports drink and anything else she thought he could digest.

……………………………………………………………………………

Deakins and Logan led the briefing. There were so many cops they had to use the open squad room. Logan noted that some of the cops were off duty, standing at the back, arms folded. Before there was a contingent he didn't recognize until Deakins pointed out Eames' brothers. Deakins went over to greet them. Then he brought them over to Bobby who looked up from the file he was sharing with Skoda, and tried to stand. Several hands pulled him back into his chair, and the brothers were inordinately solicitous. It was clear they had never met before. Logan wasn't sure what Eames told them at Sunday dinner, but they patted him on the back, and showed him nothing but kindness.

Ron Carver showed up and made a short statement about the support the DA's office would offer with warrants and such. He then issued a stern warning about proper police procedure, reminding them all that there was currently no evidence that Ross actually had Eames.

Logan set up teams of people to canvass all of Ross's known hangouts, and other teams were to focus on all of his holdings and possible aliases. He set up a team to coordinate with the state police regarding Ross's cars. With some confidence, he declared that with these resources and the quick response time, Eames should be back at her desk within a couple of days.

Goren and Skoda sat over the files, heads together, thick as thieves. Skoda got up near the end of the briefing and talked. "He's psychotic, possibly delusional. He thinks he has every right to be doing what he's doing. He will not listen to reason. Do not approach him. His irrationality is balanced with a keen intellect. He has used a stun gun in the past, homemade. You wouldn't even know it if you saw it. He probably has accomplices, people who do things for him. Do not give out any information to people you talk to; we don't know who's working with him. He has a sense of decorum, an elaborate sense of right and wrong. He will come off as rational, approachable, but he is deeply disturbed. Detective Eames should be okay for the time being. There is no evidence that he has ever murdered. He wants to possess her. He probably has a place, somewhere hidden. He has her drugged, but he's not ready to hurt her. He knows to be patient, he wants to win her over. All information about Ross, his behaviors, likes, patterns, whatever; goes to Detective Goren. Any questions?"

Hands flew up around the room.

……………………………………………………………………………………..

It was a week before folks started drifting back to their regular assignments. The task force couldn't stay a task force without leads coming in. Nothing on Jimmy Ross panned out. It was as if he and Alex Eames had disappeared off the face of the earth.

Logan wasn't giving up. He hadn't been gifted with that particular gene. He was working hard at it, still trying to run down every last piece of information personally. Barek was back, pale and very quiet. She went everywhere with him. People had long stopped asking her how she was. What happened to her felt so humiliating almost as if it had been a rape. She became intensely uncomfortable whenever anyone mentioned anything in relation to the night he stole her safety from her. Logan ran defense for her, rarely letting anyone get too close for almost any reason. Carolyn Barek should have been annoyed with his behavior, but she wasn't. He was one of the few people she would talk to in the squad room.

Deakins was presiding over a sinking ship. His star detectives were in pieces. He rerouted every case he could. Upstairs they were starting to question him about his detectives, but for once, he didn't play politics. He resisted all efforts at intrusion, even ignoring phone calls from the chief.

Carver did the best he could to provide support. He had been in Branch's office several times already hoping to get Arthur to advocate on their behalf. Branch was a pragmatist. He knew the chances of finding Eames were lessening exponentially with each passing hour and didn't see any reason to go to bat on a fool's errand. He felt the sooner they accepted the situation, the better. Carver still showed up in the squad room at least once a day bugging detectives for the latest updates.

Goren was a walking ghost. He never seemed to be gone from the squad room for more than a few hours. Folks speculated that he was sleeping somewhere in the building, but no one had a clue as to where. His bruises were fading as was all of the natural color of his skin. His beard had become even starker in contrast.

Elizabeth Rodgers had never fancied herself much of a caretaker. Thirty years in Forensics had left her tough as nails, and more likely to be drinking beer with a bunch of male colleagues than packing lunches, but there she was every day, dropping by with a lunch pail filled with everything her mother had told her was healthy; Zone diet be damned. After seeing all the detectives looking peaked and worn, she switched the lunch pail to a grocery bag. God help the officer who made a joke about her mothering them. It was all she knew to do.

Skoda became a daily presence as well. Everyone knew that there wasn't anything new to profile, but he showed up anyway, spending as much time with Goren as the big detective would allow. He became the sounding board for any behavioral theories on Ross that Goren had developed.

The cap of every afternoon was Goren's call to his mother. He always took it in a closed office, but these days he added a phone call to Eames' mother as well. He might end up being in there for more than an hour assuring his mother that he would be okay, and then assuring hers that he wouldn't stop until her daughter was found.

Major Case squad, once the most dynamic squad room in 1PP, had become a silent place, everyone treading carefully, waiting for the final act to play itself out.

……………………………………………………………………………………….

It happened four weeks after she disappeared. A bunch of kids playing in a cove on the northern shore found it. Her jacket was snagged on some rocks at the mouth of a river heading out to sea. They had pulled it in with a stick and found her ID inside the breast pocket.

Divers, boats, and helicopters followed. Logan ran around on the shore barking orders like he'd spent a lifetime in this very spot. Goren stood on the shore and stared out to sea. At one point, Barek joined him. Without a word, she found his hand and held it. She didn't look at him, didn't say a word; just stared out at the ocean alongside him, wind blowing her black curls about her face. The corners of his mouth twitched for a moment, and she could sense that he was beginning to lose control so she squeezed his hand even more tightly to remind him of himself.

They left after three days; the enormity and desolation of endless water too much for anyone to take for very long. The only fruits of their labor the jacket teen-agers had fished out of the bay four days earlier.

The next day, Deakins silently handed Logan a case, and walked away. Logan stifled the urge to throw it on the floor and storm after him. Barek looked at him, took it from him, and then sat at her desk to familiarize herself with the details.

Deakins walked up to Goren. "You're not done. I get that. I don't want to be, but I can keep this squad on hold for only so long. I'm not assigning anything to you until you go home for a few days. Sleep, shave the rug off your face, eat a meal. I can't change what happened, but I got nothing on my desk but today. Come back when you're ready for that."

"She's not dead."

"I pray to God every night that you're right."

Bobby looked down at the floor for a moment, then he nodded, grabbed his overcoat, and walked out the door.

………………………………………………………………………………………..

TBC