Part II
Rather than fix the problems, they never solve them
If this is what he wants, and this is what she wants,
then why is there so much pain?'
-Blink 182 "Stay Together For the Kids"
It was scary how much could change in such a short amount of time.
Just a few months ago, he'd been standing in front of the mirror and wearing this ridiculous tuxedo, and he hadn't been able to stop grinning.
The vest was a different color now.
And he hadn't smiled in over a month, not since his father broke the news.
"Will, buddy, I have some big news... your Aunt Carrie and I, well, we're getting married. She's going to be your stepmom, isn't that great?"
Great was not the word that came to mind.
Terrible, insane, ludicrous, impossible, a disaster waiting to happen... that was what Will thought of the whole ordeal.
But no one cared what he thought, least of all his father.
As he stared angrily at his reflection, Will tugged on the tie around his neck. He didn't understand why he had to even go this wedding, much less be in it. It wasn't like he was going to smile and pretend to be happy for his dad.
If his mother hadn't made him swear not to cause any trouble, he probably would have tripped the bride as she reached the altar.
A rather unkind smile crossed his lips as he pictured Carrie falling on her face in front of the entire church.
"Wow, buddy, look how handsome you're getting."
As his father approached him from behind dressed in a tuxedo of his own, Will scowled, stepping aside before his father could lay a hand on his shoulder. Lucas' hand fell on empty air and his father sighed, shaking his head, disappointment and frustration visibly etched on his face.
"Will-" Lucas began.
"Whatever," Will said shortly, and headed towards his room.
"Hey, don't you walk away from me," Lucas demanded, following. "I know you're mad at me, but I'm still your father!"
"Don't remind me," Will muttered, and slammed his bedroom door behind him, jamming the lock down so hard his thumb hurt. The doorknob jiggled as his father tried to open the door, and he heard Lucas curse under his breath on the other side.
"We don't have time for this, Will! We have to get going or we're going to be late!"
"I'm not going," Will snarled through the closed door.
"William Reed Roberts," his father warned. "I am not putting up with this from you, not today. Carrie is-"
"I don't give a shit about Carrie!" Will exploded, hitting the wall with his hand. "And I don't give a shit about you, either, so just leave me the hell alone, Lucas!"
There was a long silence, and he could just picture his father's shocked face.
The cursing had probably stung, but not nearly as much as having his only son revoke the title of "Dad" in favor of a first name. Will didn't care, he hoped it hurt, he hoped that his father felt the same kind of twisting pain in his chest that Will had been living with for months now.
He hoped it hurt to breathe, because then his father would know what he was feeling.
And at least a tiny bit of the hell his mother was suffering.
"We're leaving in ten minutes," his father said at last, in a low flat tone that was strangely devoid of emotion.
"I don't care!" Will shouted, hot tears of anger stinging in his eyes.
He hit the wall again for good measure, a furious sob rising up inside of his chest, and then stumbled backward across his room to sag onto the edge of his bed. His head fell into his hands as his chest tightened painfully, and he tried to stop the shaking.
"I don't care..." he whispered, and hated himself for the quiver he heard in his own voice.
But the truth was, he did care, and that was precisely the problem.
His whole life, all he had ever wanted was for his parents to get along, for them to be a real family. He'd never had the stable home life his friends had, the earliest years of his life had been filled with bitter custody fights and explosive arguments. His parents had been fighting over him for as long as he could remember, and he would lie awake at night, clutching his teddy bear, and squeeze his eyes shut to block out their yelling.
At least then they'd all been under the same roof, though.
Being passed back and forth, from one apartment to another, from parent to parent, was so much harder, but he'd gotten used to it.
He'd resigned himself to the fact that his parents were never going to be together, that it was just a stupid, childish wish that was never going to come true, and then they'd gone and fallen in love.
It wasn't fair, any of it.
Why give him false hope, why let him get a taste of what he'd always ached for, only to snatch it away?
Sometimes he wished that they'd never gotten together at all, because it would have been easier that way, none of them would be hurting then.
But then he'd remember the way his mom had smiled for days at a time, and he just wanted to get that back for her.
He just wanted them to be a family again.
For his dad to wake up and realize that Carrie was just a bad replacement for Sami.
For his mom to smile again, without tears in her eyes.
It's all Dad's fault, Will thought angrily, clenching his fists so that his nails dug into his palms. I hate him.
Why couldn't his father just forgive his mother?
Yeah, she'd messed up big time, but what else was new? His father was supposed to know her better than anyone, he knew who she was going into the wedding, so why had he acted shocked and appalled when the truth came out?
His dad was supposed to be the exception to the "Sami rule", dammit!
But the truth was, his dad was just like everyone else.
He acted like he was supportive of her, said that he loved her, faults and all, but when things got hard he left, just like everyone else in her life.
Will hated him for it.
He knew his dad still loved his mom, hell the whole town knew it!
It was in his eyes every time he looked at her, beneath the pain and hardened anger. He was marrying Carrie so that he could force himself to move on. He was convincing himself that even though he and Carrie weren't head-over-heels for each other, that devotion and committment would be enough to compensate for what they didn't feel.
And he was marrying her to spite Sami.
It was working.
How could his dad not see how this was killing her? She'd become withdrawn and quiet, she didn't even argue back when Kate insulted her anymore.
She was broken, because of his dad, and Will couldn't fix her.
The only one who could didn't even care.
All his dad cared about was himself, and Ms. Perfect Carrie. He didn't care about Sami or Will, all that mattered to him was this stupid wedding. He was hellbent on marrying Carrie, the sister of the woman he really loved, and he wasn't going to let anyone stop him.
Worse still, Will knew his mother was going to let it happen.
She hadn't even fought for his dad, it was like she'd given up before the match even began.
This wasn't like her, she wasn't a quitter. Sami Brady was a fighter, she was a survivor, but she wasn't fighting this time.
She was just standing by and letting his dad go, and it wasn't right!
Will wanted to be angry with her, he wanted to scream and yell and call her a coward for not even trying to win his dad back, but he couldn't.
Every time he got angry, he'd take one look at her and his anger would shatter.
His dad could try and make believe that today was a happy day, that this was a wonderful occasion that needed to be celebrated, but Will knew better. Today was going to destroy his mom, and there was nothing he could do about it.
Rising to his feet, he crossed his bedroom in three quick strides, slamming the door behind him.
"Will-"
"I'm out of here," Will said without sparing his father a glance. "I'll ride with Mom."
Before his dad could argue, he was out the apartment door, slamming it behind him for good measure, and storming across the hall to throw open his mother's door.
"Mom?" he called.
"Will?"
It was not his mother's voice that answered, and Will froze as a familiar figure stepped out of the bathroo, fumbling with his cufflinks.
"What are you doing here?" he demanded coldly.
Austin must have heard the fury in his voice, because his uncle quickly forgot about his cufflinks. "Nothing happened between me and your mom, Will," he said without hesitation. "I promise. We're just friends."
"Friends, huh?" Will echoed flatly. "You stayed here last night."
It was a statment, not a question, and Austin didn't miss the challenge behind it.
"Yeah, I did," Austin admitted with a slow nod. "But I slept on the couch. Your mom and I just talked, that's all. Mostly about your dad. I'm just trying to be a good friend and support her right now. Today is going to be really hard on her."
Will's anger drained. "Yeah," he muttered. "I know, sorry."
"There's no need to apologize," Austin told him, smiling sadly. "Today's not an easy day for you, either."
"Or you," Will pointed out.
"Or me."
Austin turned his attention back to fixing his cufflinks, and Will frowned. "You're still in love with Aunt Carrie," he said bitterly. "How can you let her marry my dad?"
"Because it's what she wants," Austin replied, not looking up. "And it's what your dad wants."
"No, it's not!" Will cried. "I know he thinks it is, but that's just because he's mad at Mom."
"Maybe," Austin conceded. "But he chose to marry Carrie, Will. And we have to respect that choice, all of us."
"Why?" Will demanded.
"Because your mom said so," Austin said with a weak smile. "And she scares me, so I'm not going to upset her by breaking my promise."
Will sighed glumy. "She made you promise not to cause trouble, too, huh?"
"Yeah," Austin laughed ruefully.
"I kind of want to lock Aunt Carrie in the bridal room or something," Will confessed.
"I kind of want to siphon your dad's gas so he gets stranded and can't make it to the church," Austin replied in kind. "But your mom would kill us."
"Yeah."
"Where you looking for your mom?" Austin frowned. "She already left for the church."
"Great," Will muttered. "Just great."
"Not eager to ride with your dad, huh?" Austin asked knowingly, and Will just gave him a look, wondering why he even asked. "I was just about to head out the door, if you want you can ride with me."
"Thanks," Will said, and meant it.
"Anything for my favorite nephew," Austin winked at him. "C'mon, grab your coat and let's go."
Will followed him to the door, and Austin opened it just as the door across the hall swung open, and Will's father stepped out.
There was an awkward moment as they took one another in, and Will had a moment of savage pleasure when he saw a glimmer of jealous anger in his dad's eyes as he surveyed Austin leaving Sami's apartment.
"Uh, Sami's already gone to help Carrie," Austin said. "I was just on my way to the church."
"Good," Lucas said shortly. "Then Will and I won't be the only ones running late. Let's go, buddy."
"I'm riding with Uncle Austin," Will informed him, and then brushed past both adults to stalk down the hall to the elevator. He didn't look back to see his dad's reaction, he punched the down button and stepped into the elevator as soon as the doors opened.
He waited for Austin to get in, then hit the button to close the doors before his dad could reach them.
Let him ride in his own damn elevator.
Leaning back against the mirrored walls, Will closed his eyes, trembling.
He wouldn't cry.
It wasn't worth it, his dad wasn't worth it.
The tears came just the same.