Disclaimer: These characters are not mine.

A/N: I am only ½ of a chapter ahead so the next one won't come until Thursday evening, I think. Thanks for reading. You guys are the greatest. I treasure my feedback. Someone asked how I knew Serbian names so well. I don't. I know Google real well.

Sheila

Control

Chapter 7

Bobby went in after Carver. Sitting in a chair would have been an impossible exercise and so he planted himself in the corner of the room, folding his arms and staring at Ross; keeping space between them as much for his safety as for Ross's.

Carver sat and looked at the lawyer. "I understand your client is here to make a statement. We're happy to oblige, of course. We have a list of charges the length of my arm we would like to put to rest here."

The lawyer smirked. "This is not going to be a witch hunt. My client knows what he did, and will allocate to that only."

"Fine. Tell your client to begin. We've wanted to hear from him for some time now."

Jimmy cleared his throat and smiled sheepishly. "I want to start with an apology to Detective Goren. He was right. I was suffering from psychosis and was delusional. In that state, I did hit the detective in the head with a baseball bat once. I had no intention of killing him which is why I stopped after that. I apologize, Detective, and will accept whatever consequences the state sees as appropriate for a mentally ill person committing such a crime."

Bobby's face was like stone.

Jimmy nodded. "And in this psychotic state, I am also guilty of stalking Alexandra Eames over a two week period. Again, I will accept the consequences of these actions."

Carver nodded. "Tell us more."

Jimmy looked at his lawyer and then shook his head. "Uh, that's it. I have nothing else to tell you."

Jimmy's lawyer spoke, "We're willing to plea to an assault and stalking. My client agrees to commitment at a state hospital until such time as he is deemed competent."

Carver shook his head at the table. "Not even close, counselor."

The psychiatrist spoke. "I saw Jimmy Ross the first time two weeks ago. He was deeply psychotic, paranoid, delusional. I checked him into a clinic, he's been medicated. I will testify that he was not competent at the time of these crimes."

"Doctor, your client has been accused of attempting to murder not one but two detectives. He stands accused of kidnapping a third, whom I might add, is still missing and presumed dead. I worry that I will have to amend the indictment to murder one any day now."

"I didn't do those things. I'm not a criminal. I'm mentally ill, but not a criminal," Jimmy started to squirm in his chair.

"Mr. Ross, this will not do. We have the phone calls. We have the flowers and the note you left in Carolyn Barek's apartment the night you attempted to kill her."

"Your case is circumstantial, Mr. Carver. There is no physical evidence that Mr. Ross committed that act. Let me tell you how this will play out in court. First we will ask the prosecution for the records of all felons who have shown any type of anger toward Ms. Barek. Then we will ask the prosecution to show proof that each one of these individuals and their families had been thoroughly investigated for the night of this crime. Then we will ask the prosecution to explain how the obsessed Mr. Ross could break into an apartment completely bypass the object of his obsession and turn his anger on Ms. Barek. Finally, we will show eyewitness testimony documenting Mr. Ross's longstanding fear of snakes."

Carver sighed. "That's Detective Barek to whom you are referring."

The lawyer smiled. "My apologies to the detective."

"And how will you explain Mr. Ross's disappearance at the exact time of Detective Eames's disappearance?"

"Mr. Ross was psychotic not stupid. He knew which way the wind was blowing and he had legitimate fear that the police would use him as a scapegoat in her disappearance."

"And would your client like to speculate what might have happened to the detective?"

Jimmy stared intently at Carver. "At first, I thought she had just run off, maybe hoping to frame me, but since it has been some time, I have another theory."

Bobby took this moment to move closer, head cocked, his eyes intent on his prey.

Jimmy could feel this and started to stutter. "An, uh, an old girlfriend who was obsessed with me started calling me. She wanted to reconnect. She said that she would do anything for me. I told her I was already involved with Detective Eames and wasn't interested. She threatened to take care of the detective. I didn't take her seriously at the time, but am beginning to wonder if perhaps, she was serious."

Bobby threw back his head and laughed. "Jimmy, you have the nerve of a cat napping on the stove. Unbelievable!"

"My client has never been charged or convicted of a crime. He is an upstanding member of the community with a long history of generous philanthropy. I have a list of prominent character witnesses in the business and scientific communities that runs two pages long. Mr. Carver, you know exactly how this is going to play out once a jury sees this man's kind face and humble demeanor. We will bury you in witnesses, and you will have nothing to counter with but the bitter, over imagined testimony of a few detectives and your pathetically circumstantial case."

Bobby moved into his face. "Where is she, Jimmy? Did you put her in the river when she fought with you? Did you realize what a lost cause it was? She spit in your face. I can imagine it. She said awful things to you. I know she did. That woman has a black belt in sarcasm. How long did it take before you knew she could never be conquered? How long, Jimmy? The jacket we found in the water suggests to us that she only lasted two weeks with you. You couldn't take any more than that, could you? She beat you. She never gave in, did she?"

Jimmy turned to his lawyer. "I feel threatened."

Carver gave Goren a look. "We'll have your client processed with detectives not familiar with the charges."

The trio got up and headed for the door. Bobby was a big man and not particularly graceful, and how he got from one end to the room to the door before Ross and company did will be subject to much speculation. He was in Ross's face before anyone knew it. "She humiliated you. You'll never have that kind of power over a woman again."

Jimmy's face twitched from his efforts at control.

Bobby heard the door open behind him, but he stayed focused on the man in front of him. "I see you for what you are, Jimmy. And you should know that she'll never leave you. She's stubborn like that. I know 'cause she sits with me every day. She'll be there laughing at you, taunting you for the rest of your life; reminding you that she's stronger, smarter, better than you."

The corner of Jimmy's mouth twitched and he leaned in close to Goren. "She was nothing but a pathetic little savage. I've had better."

Something in Bobby's head snapped and the next thing he felt was his cheek slamming onto the table top. Everyone was yelling and he could feel Logan and Deakins on top of him struggling to get handcuffs on. He turned his head to the door and saw detectives dragging Ross out of the room, blood streaming from his forehead. Bobby couldn't remember what he did to him, but his own head ached fiercely. He tried to pull away from his captors but Logan was almost his size and hung on. "You and me, Jimmy. That's how it's going to be!" he shouted as Ross disappeared from the room.

The lawyer finished yelling that anything his client said was an admission of nothing, and then ran out of the room after his client, the frightened psychiatrist trailing after him.

Breathing heavy, Goren looked up at Ron Carver waiting for the inevitable scolding. But Carver had none of the tension on his face that always seemed to be a part of their relationship. "I was a witness, Detective. You were clearly provoked. You'll be reprimanded, of course, but I heard what he said to you. I will testify on your behalf."

He turned to leave and Bobby wanted to shout after him that it didn't matter what happened. They could have his badge, they could have everything because there was nothing left of his life anymore. It all left with the look in Ross's eyes when he said those words. Logan tried to jerk him to his feet, and in that moment, Goren let loose with a howl of all the pain and rage trapped inside him.

……………………………………………………………………………….

He snapped the handcuff onto a pipe on the wall. Goren slumped in the chair and glared up at him. "You are out of your mind, Logan."

"Go ahead. Yell if you want. Lots of cops in here. I'm sure someone would come to your rescue."

Goren pulled at the handcuff, a sharp ping erupting from the water pipe. Patrons from around the bar looked up in surprise, noted the situation, saw Logan looking back at them, and turned back to their own repast. Goren sank back into his chair.

"When you least expect it, Logan, I swear to God…"

Logan puffed up. "Hey! Why wait! Let's go now. I'll cut you loose. We'll go out back. I could use the diversion. Let's do a little dancing, Bobby."

Goren looked away.

"Captain says you're mine, and God knows I'm not taking you back to that musty shrine you call an apartment. Only other choice is leaving you in lock-up and that just doesn't sit right with me. So we're here and we're going to drink 'cause I can't think of anything else to do right now."

"Let me go."

"Nope. You gotta a look in your eye. I don't like it."

A waitress stopped by. Her eyes drifted by Logan and settled on the big man handcuffed to the wall. "Hi Mike. Who's your friend?"

Logan smiled. "Meet the late great Bobby Goren, Rita. We're thirsty. How about some whiskey? Something midrange, I got bills to pay."

She nodded and threaded her way back through the crowd.

"What does tonight matter, Mike? How long do you think you can baby sit me? There's always tomorrow."

Logan sat down across from him. "I'll worry about that then."

"You saw what I saw, Logan. You know what he did. He killed her."

Logan closed his eyes. "I'm not going there. We don't have a body so I'm not going there."

Goren slammed the table with his free hand. "You saw the look on his face. He knows she's dead. She's gone. I…she's…it's my…God." Goren dropped his head against the pipe and groaned.

Rita appeared, a bottle of whiskey and two shot glasses on her tray. "Here you are, boys. Compliments of the bar. Sal the bartender worked with Johnny Eames and everyone's talking about what you did today. You have friends here, Detectives."

Logan grinned as she walked away. "This is the good stuff, Bobby. A whole bottle of Jameson. Drink up." Logan poured in each glass.

"What was she talking about? He was right there and I didn't kill him. I stood there and then they were taking him away."

Logan chuckled. "You don't get why your head's been aching so bad, do you? Hell, I wouldn't remember either. You head butted him and hard. I could hear the bone on bone. I haven't seen anything that raw since a weird girlfriend I had once took me to a cage match. Jimmy screamed like a girl. You got some hard head, Bobby."

Bobby looked at his shot glass intently. Then he slowly reached over and downed it. Logan immediately refilled it.

"It's not going to help, Mike. She's still gone and now I know she's dead."

Logan sat back and sighed. "God, you're not going to stop, are you?"

Bobby swallowed his shot and pushed it back toward Mike. Logan considered it for a moment, and then he poured again. "Take it easy, big guy."

Goren snorted. "I need to use the restroom."

Logan rolled his eyes. "Pace it, Goren. I'm not dragging you in there every ten minutes 'cause you can't hold your liquor."

Goren glared at him. "This is futile. You know that, don't you?"

Logan looked up at a shadow standing over him. The bald countenance of Dr. Emil Skoda looked down at him. Logan smiled. "Damn, you know to show up at all the right times."

"Logan," he said with a heavy sigh as he surveyed the scene. "Nobody handles a situation quite like you. You really had to handcuff him to a pipe?"

Logan shrugged. "You have a better idea?"

Skoda closed his eyes. "Cut him loose, Mike."

"I can't control him then."

Skoda smiled. "Yeah, funny how that works. God help us all if you ever have a teen-age daughter."

Logan sighed. He found the key and unlocked the handcuff to the pipe. Goren raised his hand, the handcuff still hanging from his wrist. Logan shook his head. "Uh, uh. Just in case I need to lace you back up."

"How'd you know where we were?" Bobby raised his eyebrow.

"Deakins called me, and no, I am not getting paid." Skoda eased into the booth next to Goren.

Rita spotted them and showed up with another shot glass. Skoda nodded at Logan, and he poured it full.

"Logan here thinks I'm a suicide risk, Doc. What do you think?" Bobby downed another shot.

"I think you have a mother to take care of. Any other questions?"

"He killed her, Emil. I could see it in his eyes."

Skoda sighed. "Let's put him away then. Let's get him off the streets forever. We're going to have a problem with his psych history, but you and I both know this guy was lucid enough to understand what he was doing."

"You need to help me talk to him. I can't read him anymore. I just want to kill him."

"Yeah, Carver has him scheduled in my office at 10 tomorrow. I'm eager to get a real look at this guy." Goren looked at him with feverish eyes and Skoda shook his head. "And no, you can't be there."

Goren returned to his shot glass, edging it over toward the bottle again.

Logan looked at Skoda who shrugged. Logan tipped the bottle for Bobby yet again.

"Deakins told me that Eames is with you every day."

"I'm not delusional."

"Didn't think you were, but your captain's worried. Don't underestimate what all of this is doing to him. Deakins fights hard for all of you. Watching his team fall apart is really tearing him up. He's worried about you."

Goren nodded.

"Your life is not just your own, Bobby. People care. You're not just some case solving savant. You mean something to people. Take care of yourself. If you hurt yourself, then you hurt us too."

Bobby licked his lips and looked away. Logan tried to gauge the agitation coming off him.

Skoda took a deep breath and continued. "I believe she is with you every day, and I believe that you know what she would want for you. Don't disappoint her, Bobby. Don't disappoint her."

Bobby shook his head and hissed, "You're a son of a bitch, Emil, a regular son of a bitch."

Skoda chuckled. "If I had a nickel for every time someone called me that."

…………………………………………………………..

Hours later, it was just Logan and Goren. Most of the other patrons had wandered home in the early morning. There were only a few diehards left at the bar. The whiskey was empty, Goren having downed 2/3 of the bottle himself. Goren had settled his head onto the table and was gently snoring. Logan had been mulling over the task of getting Goren home for the last half hour, and couldn't come up with a plan that didn't include shouldering at least 250 lbs. of dead weight half way across Manhattan.

Logan was signaling for Rita to call a cab for them when Goren groaned and lifted his blurry head off his arms. "Mike, so help me God, I loved her. I have loved her for years." His voice caught and he stopped for a moment. Then his soft, wet eyes connected with Logan again. "It was wrong. I knew that and so I never allowed myself to entertain the possibilities, ever. But she's gone now, and I feel like I've lost everything. I feel like I've lost my dreams, my future. God, I feel empty."

Logan opened his mouth to say something, but Goren had already dropped his head back into his arms. For awhile, he just listened to Goren's tortured breathing interspersed with ragged sighs, and he found that he himself was struggling with a lump in his throat.

…………………………………………………………………….

"Bobby!"

Goren jerked into an upright position. A white, blinding pain erupted in his temples. He squeezed his eyes shut and groaned.

"Get dressed!"

He peered at the agitated presence at the foot of his bed. "Jesus, Logan, don't you have a home?"

"I was just there. Now get up!"

Painfully, he opened both eyes and fixed Logan with a blurry glare. A rattle told him that Logan had never removed the handcuffs hanging off one wrist. "How did you get in here?"

"I took your spare and made my own key. Otherwise, it's hell getting you to open the damn door."

"Logan, you had no right!"

Mike threw a shirt at him. "Save it, Bobby. Barek found the property. It's a two hour drive from here. Locals are going to meet us there." Then he disappeared into the hallway continuing his monologue as he went. "I'm searching for the ibuprofen. I'm guessing that your hangover is epic. Probably didn't help that you used your head as a battering ram either. Is your coffee maker worth a damn? I'm giving you ten minutes to shower."

Bobby scrambled out of bed reaching the bathroom just as the sound of breaking coffee cups erupted from the direction of his kitchen.

…………………………………………………………….

TBC