Epilogue part one

Metallica – The unforgiven II

Lay beside me, tell me what they've done

Speak the words I wanna hear, to make my demons run

The door is locked now, but it's open if you're true.

If I can understand the me, than I can understand the you.

Set 3 Years after Badon Hill

Tristran watched the morning mist slowly disappear as the sun started to come through the clouds. He couldn't believe that it had already been three years since the battle on Badon Hill. He dismounted as he got closer to the cottage he had learned to call home. A small smile graced his features as he thought about what waited for him in there.

Tristan quietly made his way into the cottage. After putting is weapons safely away; he made his way towards the sleeping area. His hand slowly pulled the curtain back. There he found two black eyes looking up at him sleepily. The toddler made a soft giggling sound holding its arms up in order to be picked up.

"How is my little hawk?" Tristran's smile got bigger as he took his daughter out of her crib. Deciding to leave the child's mother asleep he took the toddler outside of the cottage.

"Hta'wiy." Tristran looked at his daughter, wondering what she said.

"Has your mother been teaching you some words again?"

The toddler nodded her little head causing the long black hair to fall in her little face.

"Could you teach me some words?" Tristan sat down on the bench next to the cottage's only window.

"e'he." Again his daughter nodded her head.

"What does that mean?"

Tristan's daughter only spoke the language of her mother. But she seemed to understand Tristran alright.

The toddler lost interest in words and crawled closer to Tristran. Tristran still found it amazing that something so small had managed to capture his heart like that.

"Shall we wake up your mother?"

The toddler nodded again.

Back inside Tristran put his daughter back into her crib wanting the child's mother for himself. He gave the toddler one of her dolls, hoping it would keep her quiet for the time being. Taking off his tunic and breeches he placed them softly to the ground, not wanting to give away anything.

Tristan took the time to admire the woman who lay upon the bed with a linen sheet draped across her body. Something he did must have alerted her of being there for he saw the remnants of sleep drift away from her face. As she rolled over in his direction, he waited for her eyes to focus on him. Opening her eyes he waited for her to focus on him.

"Tristran," she whispered softly, believing to be caught in a dream.

Tristran knew he had returned much sooner than she had anticipated.

Tristran placed one of his fingers gently against her lips stopping her from speaking any more words, but it did nothing to stop the smile on her face. He treasured the look of recognition and wonderment that he brought to her face which was framed with hair as black as coal; he loved to watch her.

"Shh, An," he hushed, smiling at her.

Tristran continued to just barely stroke her lips knowing that she revelled in his touch, and yearned for more.

"Tristran?" Still not believing the he was really there.

Tristran knew she wanted more. He was and always had been delighted in the effect he had on her, and in the effect she had on him. He wanted to touch her more; he needed to touch her more. Still he waited, he enjoyed making her wait.

"Tristran!" she repeated, slightly annoyed.

Tristran smirked at her annoyance and shook his head. "Shh…"

She rolled onto her back to make room for him to sit beside her. He sat leaning over her, each hand resting at her sides upon the mattress, still only wanting to look at her. She stared up at him, waiting. Her eyes closed as he leaned down and placed a kiss upon her brow.

Tristran could have sworn he heard her growl at him. But the growl was cut short when he brushed his lips lightly against hers. She moved with him as he drew away, placing his hands upon her shoulder Tristran pushed her gently back down, which earned him a glare of frustration and a pout.

"Patience, patience."

Tristran smirked more as she stuck out her lower lip even further. Tristran could not resist that invitation; he allowed himself a moment to suck on it before drawing back slightly. Tristran remained leaning over her, his face just above hers as he searched her eyes deeply with his.

As he brushed a stray strand of her black hair off her forehead, she risked bringing a hand up to caress the side of his face. Tristran shied away at the touch but then leaned into her touch, closing his eyes. He opened his eyes to look at her once more. Tristran leaned down and placed his lips against hers. She kissed him back fervently, opening her mouth in invitation to him.

As Tristran parted from her again he looked down at their hands observing how their fingers wove together. Her breath tickled his ear as she traced the outline of the other with the fingers of her free hand. Tristran grabbed hold of the hand and brought it to his mouth, planting a kiss on each of the fingertips. His eyes glinted with a mischievous look as he gazed at her over her fingertips. He trailed his kissed down to the inside of her wrist and sucked on the warmth of her pulse. His need for her rushed through his body just as quickly as the blood rushed through her veins. Her brought her hand to the side of his face and pressed her damp wrist to his temple.

Tristran moved his body in an upright position and gathered her up in a strong embrace. He just wanted to hold her like that forever, feeling safe in her arms. Only when he slid his hands down towards her hips did he remember what state she was in. She grabbed his hand and moved it over her swollen stomach. Tristran was rewarded with a kick. The baby had definitely grown a lot in the three weeks he had been away. They looked at each other for a moment; happy with what fate had given them.

Tristran surprised her when his lips suddenly seared her neck with passionate kisses. He sucked greedily at the vein pulsing in her neck. He was rewarded with a soft gasp as his tongue swirled at that spot.

Tristran drew himself to his knees on the bed, and brought her up to kneel before him as well. His finger traced the curves just over the low neckline of her nightshift. She could feel his erection against her stomach. She dug her fingers into his firm buttocks, pulling him even closer to her. She swept her tongue along his ear, nipping at his earlobe as Tristran yelped when she bit his ear hard.

She pulled away from him and sat back on her heels, glowering at him. She hated losing control, which she was losing rapidly, all due to Tristran being there. Tristran knew she would try to take control over the situation, but he wasn't one to give up so quickly.

Yet Tristran had to hold himself from squirming as she wrapped her fingers fully around his erection, squeezing gently. He didn't want to admit that the squirming made her touch all the more pleasurable. Tristran felt his eyes beginning to roll back in his head as she applied more pressure.

"An..." Tristran gasped.

"What?" she asked, knowing Tristan saw the twinkle in her eyes. "Should I stop?"

Tristran growled in protest when she drew her hand away. He could hear her laughter as his hips bucked forward in an attempt to keep the contact. Tristran was getting desperate as he began to hastily tug at the nightshift. For the moment, she seemed content to sit back and watch him get frustrated about the ties on the front of the nightshift. Tristran finally gave up and held his hands in the air, the ties now in a severe knot.

"Help," Tristan said, now even more frustrated.

Tristran usually would use one of his daggers but knew she would get mad at him for ruining the nightshift. Tristran could feel his cheeks starting to burn. He felt like an idiot as she laid there laughing at him and his rush.

"No you're doing fine on your own."

Tristran knew this game. He shot her a glowering look before crushing his lips hard against hers in a deep kiss. Then there was the sound of something falling and a loud cry beside the couple.

"Aenheso."

Tristran got pushed on his back as his lover reached to pick up the crying toddler to cradle it. The toddler was placed upon the bed, where it quickly crawled over to Tristran.

"You trying to ruin daddy's fun little one?"

Tristran wiped the tears away from the child's face. He was rewarded with a whack on his head. Looking up he saw Anovaoo'o glaring at him. The toddler started to giggle and pulled herself up by using one of Tristran's braids.

"Women!" Tristran pulled his hair out of harms way and lifted his little girl up. "Are you coming to the fortress with me?" Tristran still had to report to Arthur.

"Yes. Ophelia and I are going to the market."

Anovaoo'o still spoke very slowly, because she didn't use the language a lot. It would be useless to speak more, even if she wanted to, for few people knew she could even speak at all.

"Do you think she could tend to my little hawk after you have been to the market?" Tristran said, purposely pushed his body against Anovaoo'o's.

"Evil man." Anovaoo'o pushed Tristran away from her as she started to get dressed.

"You wouldn't have me any other way." Tristran grabbed the dress away before Anovaoo'o could respond.

"ke'kwa'n to'taman"

Tristran watched her reach for one of the pots.

"What?" Tristran hated not know what she was saying.

"a'stam!" Anovaoo'o spoke loudly.

Tristran looked at his daughter, but she was just clapping her hands in amusement.

"You think this funny, huh?" Tristran gave the dress to his daughter.

Anovaoo'o limped over to her daughter and got back her dress; which she quickly pulled over her head.

"Your mother is being mean," Tristran told his daughter, who just looked at him and smiled some more.

"An…" Tristran knew she was really mad at him.

Anovaoo'o moved back towards him after braiding her hair she kissed him and lifted their daughter from his arms. Tristran watched as Anovaoo'o placed the toddler in a strange contraption. It hadn't been there when he had left them.

"What is this?"

Tristran looked at two ropes that were attached to the ceiling with two hooks. At the bottom there was some sort of seating made out of fabric. He watched Anovaoo'o attach two leather straps over his daughter so that she couldn't fall out.

"It is safe," she said.

"I can see that." Tristran didn't understand what the meaning of this thing. He watched his daughter for a little while; she seemed to be content sitting in it. "What does it do?"

Anovaoo'o smiled at Tristran as she softly gave her daughter a push causing the contraption to swing. The little girl started to giggle again.

"She has to grow just a little more. Then she will be able to do it herself."

"Did you make it yourself?" Tristran didn't like the idea of her climbing on things to hang the ropes up on the roof.

"Dagonet helped, he made it."

"I should thank him then." Tristran grabbed Anovaoo'o and pulled her towards the bed.

"You should bath." Anovaoo'o wrinkled her nose at him.

Seeing the look on his face she quickly added, "I'll help."

Grinning like a small child being caught stealing sweets Tristran started to heat up some water. No way am I going to sit in freezing water.

Tristan allowed his mind to wander as he sat in the warm water while his back was being rubbed. He was remembering how surprised he had been by the discovery of Sebastian being a woman. That night when she had come to him, he had been stunned. How could he have missed the fact that Sebastian was actually a woman?

After the battle he had wanted to ask so many questions but he was physically and mentally not up for it. Only after more than half a year of being nursed back to health by Dagonet and Anovaoo'o had he been able to get an answer to all his questions. He had learned that Anovaoo'o had been in the wrong place at the wrong time when the Romans had come to Sarmatia.

For the first 6 years none of the Romans or Sarmatians surrounding Anovaoo'o figured out that she was a girl. She didn't understand Latin and didn't understand the Sarmatian dialects, so she just kept her mouth shut. They had decided that she was mute, and had given her a name. It was her commander that figured out she was a girl when he wanted to punish her. With the girl being mute, he figured it would cause little trouble, so he kept it to himself. Anovaoo'o wouldn't give him any more information on the subject so he let it rest; if she wanted to talk she would have to start by herself.

There had been times between them where they just sat together neither of them talking. The other knights had let them be, even Dagonet left them to themselves more often. Tristran often wondered what made Anovaoo'o trust him; he thought he should ask sometime. It did take a lot of patience from Tristran to strain himself when being together with Anovaoo'o. It took patience for Tristan to restrain himself in the company of Anovaoo'o. She still got scared and sometimes would hit him when he would sneak up behind her or come too close.

He wondered where he got the patience from with Anovaoo'o. Other women hadn't known him to wait, he usually just took what he needed and left; Nothing more, nothing less. Perhaps it had been because she allowed him to be himself. She didn't ask anything from him, and wasn't afraid of him because of his history. They were somewhat alike in their nature. They both were silent; they both felt the need to spend time alone. They also enjoyed the battlefield, although now Anovaoo'o wouldn't be able to walk on a battlefield again. Her foot injury wouldn't allow her too, but that didn't mean she couldn't kill anyone when she needed to.

The time in which Tristran and Anovaoo'o had found their place with each other was also the time that Lancelot, Gawain and Galahad had decided to travel back to their homeland.

Although reluctant at first, Lancelot had decided it was wisest to leave Briton behind him, every passing day he had felt the growing attraction to Guinevere. Not wanting to act on his feelings, nor betray Arthur's trust, he had agreed to go with Gawain and Galahad.

Gawain had needed a lot of convincing from Galahad to keep his promise. When they had first arrived on the island Gawain had promised his friend to go back with him when they had received their papers. But the time had finally come, Gawain didn't want to for without being fully aware of it Gawain had lost his heart to the quiet Ophelia. Only when Ophelia had promised to wait for Gawain's return did he go along with Galahad and Lancelot.

Galahad had been the one ready to go only days after Arthur's crowning, he had been oblivious to Gawain's troubles. Galahad's only focal point those days where returning to Sarmatia to see his relatives again.

After journeying for more than 4 months they had reached the borders of their homeland. Lancelot's tribe had been the one they encountered first. Instead of finding people Lancelot knew they found complete strangers, fifteen years is a long time to be gone.

They didn't receive the welcoming Galahad had expected, for they were met with a lot of hostility. Of course this was to be expected, only so few sons did return back to Sarmatia. Lancelot's sister was the first to give the wary knights a proper welcome. At first Lancelot didn't recognize the woman in front of him. In his mind his sister was still a little girl. Lancelot realized that it had been a mistake to return; the people he knew from his childhood had either grown up, moved away or died.

The three knights soon learned that the Romans didn't come to claim Sarmatian boys anymore; it appeared that the Roman Empire was slowly dissolving. This however didn't mean that the Sarmatians were out of trouble, from the north, the Huns were making their way across the country.

After staying a week the three made their way to Gawain's and Galahad's tribe. They promised Lancelot's family that they would visit them again before returning to Briton.

Tristran winced when he felt a bite on his shoulder, not really a wince of pain, but more one of surprise. He felt warm hands rubbing his shoulders down to his spine as a warm tongue teased his ear. He could always count on Anovaoo'o to surprise him no matter what he thought he knew about her.

"If I don't get you clean soon, I'm going to drown you." He could hear her laughing honestly.

"Why would you drown me?" Tristran wondered where that thought came from.

"Not only do you come here dirty, you also start the day by annoying me."

That caused Tristran to laugh as he felt the scented oil drip on his shoulders and back. Tristran tipped his head back in an attempt to catch a kiss, but was rewarded again with a whack over the head.

"How will I get you clean with you having your thoughts elsewhere?"

Tristran just grinned like a cheeky child. He closed his eyes again and let the hands wander over his chest and down to his flat belly towards his thighs. Tristran lifted his leg, and after it was washed he lowered it back into the water, then lifted the other.

"Such an odd place to have hair," Anovaoo'o said.

Tristran had heard that before. Better yet he had heard it every time Anovaoo'o had placed her hands on his chest.

"You look like a bear."

Tristran just grinned at that remark and let her talk.

"Why would anyone want to look like a bear?"

"Bear."

Tristran almost jumped out of the tub when he heard his daughter's voice.

"Did she just call me a bear?" Of all the things his daughter could say to him, it had to be that.

"I think she did. She does tend to pick up the oddest things." Anovaoo'o was laughing very loudly.

"I don't believe you." Tristran glared at her.

Tristran's glare disappeared as he felt a soapy hand slip up his tight to cup his balls. He groaned softly when the hand reached up and started to stroke his erection. Tristran was so absorbed by the sensation that he was surprised that he got shoved down under the water. He came up sputtering and gasping.

"Why did you do that?" Tristran rubbed the water out of his eyes.

"You have to get all clean," she responded logically.

That woman was going to be the death of him. After Anovaoo'o was satisfied that he was clean enough she went and got him a cloth to dry himself with.

"You should get dressed." Anovaoo'o pointed at Tristran's still naked form.

"Why?"

"Ophelia is coming." Tristran rapped himself up when there was a knocking on the door. "Go."

Anovaoo'o laughed silently as Tristran cursed to himself.

"Evil woman. I'll get you good tonight."

All three returning knights had recognized their surroundings which was a clear sign to them that they where coming closer to their destination, the fortress near Badon Hill. Gawain started to smile as he realized how close he was to Ophelia again. Lancelot, however, was dreading facing Guinevere and Arthur again.

The three knights entered the fortress, riding slowly towards the courtyard of the stables. They passed the marketplace where Anovaoo'o spotted the three before Ophelia did. She quickly alerted Ophelia who immediately started to blush.

"If I knew he was coming back today I would have put on a nicer dress." Ophelia nervously started to straiten her dress. "Where do you think they are going?"

"Stables," Anovaoo'o said.

Ophelia picked up Aenheso in her arms and gave Anovaoo'o her cane back. As quickly as they could they made their way towards the stables.

Within the stables the three knights were greeted by Jols, Bors and Dagonet.

"I never thought we'd see you again." Bors bellowed loudly.

"Is she still here?" Gawain asked looking hopefully at Dagonet.

"I saw her and Sebastian at the market, not long ago," Dagonet replied.

"Is Arthur in his room?" Lancelot did want to meet his friend again.

"Yes, I'm sure he will be glad that you are back," Jols informed him.

Lancelot left the stables.

"Think we should tell Gawain?" Bors thought that he had spoken softly towards Jols.

"Tell Gawain what?" Galahad looked suspiciously at the two.

"Well she and Sebastian…" Bors stopped as he saw Ophelia walk into the stable still holding Aenheso. She practically beamed as she saw Gawain.

Gawain however was still looking at Bors.

"She and Sebastian what? Bors tell me."

Bors just pointed towards Ophelia.

Gawain's heart leaped into his throat when he saw Ophelia. His throat tightened when he spotted the toddler on her arm; there was no mistaking it, this was definitely Sebastian's child.

"How could you?" Gawain croaked out. "You said you'd wait for me!" Gawain's voice roared at Ophelia.

Ophelia turned pale; Gawain had never frightened her before but was doing so now.

"Gawain it is not what you think." Dagonet moved his body in front of Gawain.

"I'm going to kill that bastard!"

As Gawain moved to look for Sebastian, Dagonet grabbed hold of him.

"You're making a mistake boy," Dagonet whispered into Gawain's ear.

Gawain started to struggle against Dagonet, he did not come back to have his heart broken.

"STOP IT!"

A loud voice made Gawain stop struggling and Dagonet immediately let go of Gawain.

Gawain looked at Ophelia holding the child in her arms; she was looking at him terrified.

"Go to him already. What are you waiting for!" Gawain yelled at her, the tears starting to form in Gawain's eyes.

"Gawain, look at me!"

The voice, which Gawain assumed belonged to Sebastian, spoke slowly but clearly.

"I love Ophelia like a sister but she isn't Tristran."

Gawain didn't understand what Sebastian meant by those words.

"So she's only good for having your little bastards?"

"Gawain look at me!" Anovaoo'o's voice held a demanding edge to it. "Look at me before you say more things that will only cause you more grief."

"Don't." Dagonet moved towards Anovaoo'o as Gawain heard a cloak fall to the ground.

"Gawain," this time it was Galahad's voice, "I think you should look."

Gawain's head shot up and he looked in disbelief at Galahad. After realizing both Bors and Galahad were looking shocked at something that was happening behind his back. Gawain slowly turned around and saw Sebastian standing behind him in what appeared to be some sort of dress.

"Why are you wearing a dress?"

Anovaoo'o raised one eyebrow at Gawain.

"Oh..." Gawain felt very stupid at that moment and at a complete loss for words.

Bors' loud laughter pulled everybody out of the momentary stupor they were in. Gawain felt a small hand on his back and found Ophelia and the little toddler smiling at him. The little girl put her arms around Gawain and gave him a hug. Gawain opened his mouth to apologize to Ophelia, but she silenced him with one finger on his lips. "There is no need to apologize, it was all a misunderstanding."

"Aenheso."

Ophelia put the toddler on the ground and she made her way over to her mother who had called her name.

"What are you all laughing about?" Lancelot was walking back into the stables.

He started looking from Gawain and Ophelia, to Bors and Galahad, then to Dagonet and Sebastian. Lancelot opened his mouth to say something to Bors but snapped his eyes back to Sebastian.

"You're a woman!" Lancelot's eyes moved over Anovaoo'o's body taking in the slightly swollen stomach.

"So who is going to tell Arthur?" Bors looked at his fellow knights.

"Nobody is going to tell Arthur. This does not leave these stables." Tristran had apparently been hiding in the dark again. He picked up the cloak and wrapped Anovaoo'o in it again. "An, let's go."

"An. Is that your real name?" Galahad stepped towards the couple.

"No. it is the only part of my name he can pronounce," she said.

"Can we know your real name?" Gawain stepped next to Galahad, while Tristran glared at them.

"Anovaoo'o." She held up her hand, knowing that there would be more questions. "That will do for now."

Tristran pulled her outside of the stables. He didn't like the idea of people knowing.

"Tristran, he has a right to know." Anovaoo'o sighed slowly. "I would like to be myself again."

Tristran let the weight of those words sink in. He knew that pretending to be something you're not drained a lot of energy from a person.

"Tristran I'm not going to change. I will still be me." Anovaoo'o knew that Tristran liked the secret they shared, although through the years more people had become to be included into the secret.

"I will be wearing more dresses."

Tristran frowned at Anovaoo'o. She wore dresses when they were alone. "So?"

Anovaoo'o proceeded to roll her eyes at him.

"Men." Anovaoo'o gave Tristran Aenheso then grabbed his free hand and let it travel upwards under her dress. It was fortunate that Tristran realized that he had a child on his other arm otherwise Arthur would have to wait even longer.

Gawain watched the couple leave the stables and looked back at Ophelia. Without a warning he picked her up and flung her in a circle giving her a crushing hug.

"I missed you," he whispered in her ear, causing her to blush terribly.

"Isn't that sweet?" Bors clapped Gawain on the back. "But she has to breathe Gawain. So let go of her."

Gawain didn't really want to let go of Ophelia so he settled for having her small hand in his.

"You knew all along that Sebastian was a girl?" Gawain asked.

Ophelia nodded.

"Well knights that leaves us with one question." Lancelot sat down on one of the benches in the stables.

"Which is?" Galahad plopped himself next to Lancelot.

"How could we miss the fact the Sebastian is a girl?" Lancelot looked at his fellow knights.

"Dags knew." Bors and the others looked at Dagonet.

"Not until after the battle."

"Besides, we have never seen her naked and she has always been dressed in those oversized clothes," Dagonet continued the others only nodding in agreement.

"But what about her breasts? I mean we did see her dressed in only the breastplate at the tavern." Galahad started to think out loud, and then looked at Ophelia who had a hard time concealing her smile.

"Perhaps you should as her?" Ophelia laughed at the knights' amazement.

"And how did you find out?" Galahad pointed at Ophelia.

Gawain smacked him over the head with his free hand. "No pointing."

"She passed out in the shed next to our house and I found her," Ophelia replied remembering that day.

She had been about 10 years old when her father sent her to the shed with some food for Sebastian. There was no answer when she knocked on the door so she had carefully opened the door and saw Sebastian lying on the floor. Sebastian had been trying to clean his latest collection of slash wounds on her back from her latest punishment. The blood had gotten stuck to her tunic and the removal had caused such pain that she had passed out from it.

Ophelia had quickly gotten some water from the well and tried to wake up Sebastian. She had looked at her with such fright with the realization that Ophelia had discovered her true nature that Ophelia quickly promised not to tell anybody. In return for keeping the secret Sebastian had started to teach Ophelia how to use a bow. Not until after the battle did Ophelia find out that Sebastian could actually talk.

"And that's all you have to tell about it?" Lancelot looked irritated to say the least.

"I don't believe An would appreciate me telling you about her. She has promised that she will give you some answers after she has informed Arthur. Besides, I do not feel comfortable talking behind somebody's back."

The knights stared at Ophelia that being the most she had ever said in public.

"She is right. We will get our answers tonight. Might I remind you An's history." Dagonet was clearly pointing towards the incident between An's former commander.

"Do you think that piece of filth knew?" Galahad looked at the others.

"Galahad really where is your mind today, he raped her," Lancelot reminded Galahad of the incident.

Ophelia looked in shock at the other knights, she had no idea what had happened. She remembered her father telling her that Commander Cesario wasn't a good man, but she had never imagined a man of God to do such things.

"Gawain, will you walk with me for awhile?" Ophelia felt the need for some fresh air. She left the groceries in the stable trusting that Jols would make sure that they didn't go missing.

"Sure."

"ke'kwa'n to'taman" - 'What are you doing?'

"a'stam!" -'Come here!'

A/N: This was supposed to be very short but it kind of got out of control. So please for give me.