8

A/N: I received very kind reviews on the last chapter, and I am very appreciative of this. I needed a couple of days to collect myself and do other things. There is not going to be an easy denouement. In my first CI story, I let them find each other with no real struggle. This is not happening this time, and it feels more authentic based on who they are. I hope you hang in there, and I hope to continue hearing from you.

Sheila

Control

Chapter 9

The Eames family had no sense for economy of effort. It wasn't enough for a few of the Eames to wait and report back to the rest. All of them had to come. Brothers, sisters, cousins, uncles, and aunts all wandered in and out of the waiting room, talking, joking, hugging, patting each other on the back, and generally fueling an atmosphere of celebration. Each new arrival received an update from a relative which included a less than discreet finger pointed in Bobby's direction. Then yet another stranger would head toward him, pumping his hand heartily and telling him that they had been hearing about him for years.

Bobby nodded with each new introduction, getting up, and letting himself be manhandled by the relatives of his partner. Then he would sit back down in the midst of the chaos, and try to return to obscurity.

Deakins walked around the room like a new father, puffed out, and proud. To everyone who would listen, he told stories about what a great cop Alex was. Logan and Barek had escaped the crowd early, excusing themselves to catalog evidence back at the squad.

Bobby couldn't begin to measure his exhaustion; every cell in his body wanted to shut down and take a long vacation. He wanted nothing more than to lean back in his chair and close his eyes. All of the people milling around wouldn't have made a difference. He was sure he would sleep just fine in the midst of it of all.

Unfortunately the Eames weren't interested or even aware of his exhaustion. He had become a new family member. Every introduction included an invitation to some upcoming family event: dinners, drinks at the bar, birthday parties.

Any moment, he was left alone took him back to the car ride into the city. Mike spent the whole car ride with his head swiveled to the back seat, alternately between disbelief and joy. Bobby was silent most of the drive, letting his colleagues carry the energy of the moment. She lay hot in his arms, breathing heavy. Every few minutes, she twitched and her face screwed up. He wondered about the visions running through her head, but he knew he had no entry into her terror other than to stroke her hair and whisper words of comfort into his ear.

It was once that she woke; her body became rigid and her eyes flew open. She looked up at him, eyes wide and wet. For a moment, he wondered if she wouldn't recognize him again, but her body calmed when her eyes found his. Without a word, she dropped her head back onto his chest and let her breathing settle into his again.

Mike wanted to go out and celebrate. He wanted to buy the biggest steak in Manhattan, price be damned. Bobby wanted to do nothing more than to get her into a hospital bed, and then find a corner where he might close his eyes for a moment. Carolyn could sense the imbalance of energy between the two men, and she did her best to keep Mike occupied.

In the backseat, Bobby relished any respite he got from the conversation. So many feelings were warring for his attention, and he wanted nothing more than to settle them. He closed his eyes and pulled her more tightly against him, stroking her hair. It was almost cathartic. One minute, he was trying to calm his emotions, and then next, a realization was slapping him across the face. His eyes flew open and he sat there, a fear growing in him almost as potent as anything Jimmy Ross had thrown his direction.

He didn't realize he had actually closed his eyes until a cool hand slipped into his. Startled, he blinked and found Alex's mother seated next to him, a smile creasing her tired face. "You must be exhausted."

He smiled. "I won't lie."

"Give them a few minutes and they'll be gone. I told Johnny that he needed to start herding them all down to Keegan's Pub. The hospital is no place for all these hooligans."

Bobby studied her face as she spoke. She had the same mischievous look in her eye that Alex carried every day like a weapon.

"He wanted to drag you down there with them, but I saved you from that special torture."

"I don't know how to thank you."

"You're the one, Bobby. You're the one we owe."

He looked down. "I don't think that's true. We stumbled onto her, nothing more. If anything, I was the one who was sure Jimmy killed her."

She slipped her arm through his. "You never gave up, and you wouldn't have, no matter what. I can see it in your eyes, and I don't want to hear any different."

He leaned toward her. "Your daughter is a lot like you, you know."

"Yup, my Alex and I are two peas in a pod."

Bobby looked up and saw that the room had emptied considerably. "Nobody waited for you. Would you like me to walk you down?"

She shook her head. "I was a nurse for 30 years, and I know a rape kit when I see one. They brought one into her room about 20 minutes ago. I'm not going anywhere."

Bobby nodded. "I'm sorry."

She patted his hand. "Alex is my strongest child. She always has been. She never had much for size, but she's been a firecracker since day one: willful, brave, certain. She would have been the devil to raise if not for that big heart of hers."

"I've always wondered what she was like as a girl." He noted that Mary Eames' eyes were the same dark grey/green as Alex's. Her face was much more a road map of life, but he could clearly see Alex in her mother's face. He relaxed into the notion that this woman couldn't be this familiar and still be a stranger to him. He found that he was very comfortable with her.

Mary Eames smiled at him. "She was a very determined little girl…Uh, here's a story for you. She had a friend on the block…name was Mary Rose. Alex put the initials together and called her Mister. She read younger than my other children, and was really tickled she could make the connection between MR and mister. They had known each other since they were four, but when they got to third grade, everything started to shift. Mister lived in a pretty awful home. She was as skinny as a rail and always looked like she dressed in the dark; everything was a size too small. Her hair was a ball of tangles. I used to keep a brush just for her in the house." Her smile grew. "Whenever I could catch her, she got that wild hair brushed and sometimes a bath…Anyway, the two girls were in the same class, and they had gotten to that age where kids become really aware of difference. And the kids took to teasing Mister. Every day on the playground, this group of boys would taunt her. One day, Alex joined them in their taunting…Oh, Bobby, she came home heartbroken. She had seen the look in Mister's eyes at her betrayal and it dawned on her what she had done. I didn't think that child was ever going to stop crying. She came to me the next day and said she was going to make it right. Every day for the next three weeks, she came home with bruises or a torn shirt. She told me she was protecting Mister. The school called, of course, and I watched her at recess from her teacher's classroom. She was this tiny thing, always the smallest in her class, and whenever anyone tried to tease Mister, she went after them like a little bulldozer. Of course, I had to step in and moderate that behavior a little, but the school understood what she was doing. After a few weeks, nobody messed with Mister. In fact, Mister ended up being a very popular girl. She graduated at the top of her class, was homecoming queen, went to an Ivy League school on a scholarship, and has a consulting firm out in L.A, three kids, and a husband who has his own jet. She shows up around holiday time most years to spend a few days with us; her parents being long gone…Alcoholics. And she always tells the story about how Alex beat her a path to success."

"She never told me that story."

"She's a private woman."

They were both silent for a few minutes when Mary patted his hand again. "Tell me about the Pomoravlje's."

"They saved her life. My thinking on this is that Jimmy never imagined that Latinka would be anything but obedient. It makes sense that he wouldn't get his hands dirty so when it was clear that Alex wasn't going to be his next slave, he told Latinka to get rid of her. Only Latinka was her own woman. Instead of dumping her in the river, she brought her to her mother's house. Then she had to get back to Jimmy before he suspected anything had gone wrong."

"Why didn't she just call the police?"

He shook his head. "I think Jimmy had become mythical to her. She had experience trying to involve police in the past. Jimmy always came out smelling like a rose; she came out looking like a crazy person. Jimmy was her dragon to slay. It would be her final redemption. She would finally be her own woman again. Then she could go back to her mother's house, and contact us down in the city. She knew we didn't like Jimmy. Probably figured we were her best bet…Only she didn't realize that Jimmys psychosis masked his sociopathology. Under all that mental illness lurks a plain old bad person. My guess is that he drugged her and then killed her. We'll see a tox screen in a few hours."

Mary nodded, her eyes glistening. "You went to this woman's house to tell her that Latinka was dead, and she gave you the gift of my daughter. She took good care of her, didn't she?"

"Yes, she did. She worked hard to keep her safe."

"There will be a funeral I assume. I want to go. I want to talk to Mrs. Pomoravlje. Can you help me arrange this?"

Bobby nodded.

She squeezed his hand. "You're a good man, Bobby. Alex is lucky to have you."

…………………………………………………………………

Mary woke him when the doctor came out. He stood up with her. She placed her hand under his arm for support. "How is she?"

"She's got a nasty kidney infection, probably from dehydration. She's pumped full of who knows what. I don't think we're going to be able to isolate everything in the tox screen. It'll take her another couple of days to detox fully. There's nothing wrong with her spirit though. She calls me a horse's ass every time I touch her."

"What about injuries? I saw the rape kit go in," Mary asked.

The doctor nodded. "Bruises, contusions, and definitely signs of sexual assault."

Mary nodded, gripped Bobby's arm tightly. "She's very strong. She'll be just fine.

Bobby needed the subject changed. "Is she still delusional?"

The doctor shook his head. "She's in and out. Safety is of primary concern for her right now. She's been calling for Bobby. I assume that's you."

Bobby nodded, a touch of pink rising in his face.

"She's not lucid enough to distinguish between reality and hallucinations most of the time. We need to create a safe atmosphere for her. She needs the rest."

"What can we do?"

The doctor shifted uncomfortably. "This is not necessarily medicine in the way I was taught, but I think she needs someone familiar in there with her; someone she sees as safe."

Mary looked up at Bobby. "Let me take the first shift, Bobby. You're exhausted and I've been waiting six weeks for something to do. It'll be okay. My girl knows her mother's voice. She'll be fine."

Bobby wanted to protest. He wanted to explain to her how it was important that he stay and be there; Alex was already responding to his presence. Instead he said nothing.

Mary looked up at him, patting his shoulder. "Get some sleep, Bobby. She's going to need you tomorrow. This is something I can do."

Bobby nodded uncertainly. "Ah…you can call…if anything happens…I want to be here."

Mary laughed. "We won't forget you. Believe me, we won't forget you."

Bobby let himself be led to the elevator. He didn't remember even saying good-bye. On auto-pilot, he hailed a cab and found himself unlocking his door twenty minutes later. He shed his clothes and climbed into bed. A stray growl erupted from his stomach, but he had no energy or interest in addressing it. He closed his eyes and waited for sleep to take him. Like a thick quilt on a cold day, sleep warmed him.

It was some time later when he realized he wasn't alone in his bed. He shifted, and found her blonde hair peeking from under the covers. He pulled the blanket back, and there she was stretched out, wearing only her milky skin. She turned her sharp eyes to him. "Now I'm all yours, in every form you can imagine."

He reached out to touch the skin on her back, and traced it down to her waist. She arched an eyebrow at him, and turned until she was facing him. Her breasts were small and nipples pink. They were no surprise to him. She had sat on his lap without clothes for long enough so that no amount of staring off at a focal point kept those mysteries from him.

"How does it feel, Bobby? Is it what you wanted?"

Bobby felt fear growing in his gut. "I..feel confused about this."

She leaned her face on her elbow and narrowed her eyes at him. "Oh, come on. Even if I never tell you how many men I've slept with in my lifetime, I can assure you that I have never had as intimate an experience as I had with you when you found me."

He shook his head. "It was born out of circumstance, Alex. We have to tell ourselves that."

Her mouth curled into a grin. "Even before Jimmy, I could feel it between us. Remember that time after that Wilkins case, we were so tired. We were walking up the stairs, you were climbing behind me, and I knew you weren't stretching those long legs at all or you would have left me in the dust. A stair ahead I was tall enough so that I could feel your breathing on my neck. For half a staircase, we slowed, you and I, savoring the forbidden. We knew it couldn't be acknowledged, but we slowed down so that we might have that one moment together. I knew how close you were, and more than anything, I wanted to stop short and feel your face crash into me, your hands fumbling for purchase around my waist. I wanted you to fall into me, and not want to untangle yourself. I wanted us to tear at each other's clothes, pulling and ripping until we were open to one another, and then I wanted you to take me right there in the back stairwell, floor 3 of 1PP. But then, of course, I remembered what was at stake, and I trotted up the stairs away from you."

"This is exactly my point. We would risk everything. Deakins would—"

She pointed a finger at him. "This is not about Deakins. Don't get distracted from the truth."

"It would ruin us, Alex. You know it as much as I do. Maybe we'd be happy for a few weeks, maybe a month, but then it would start to change. I would be the…acquired taste that was a little too acquired, and you would be trying to figure out how to get me to communicate when I was in a mood or wondering how to make me into someone who was presentable at family functions."

"I think you did well yesterday. My mother loves you."

"Your mother is one thing, but the rest of them left me strangled and gasping for air."

"They came in a herd. It's overwhelming and you were tired."

"Yes, and I am Bobby Goren, the man who tap dances his way between sanity and insanity on a daily basis. I'm not meant for permanent co-habitation, and believe me, that's what we're talking here. There's no casual dating possible between the two of us primarily because there is no casual anything left between the two of us."

"You are part of me and I a part of you. We know that now. The separation was our education. We have two choices; we live with the tension of knowing and doing nothing or we risk everything."

She reached out and rested one of her small hands on his chest over his heart and closed her eyes. "Just let me listen for a moment."

His breath caught in his throat. "Please Alex. Stop now or there's no going back."

She chuckled huskily. "We passed the stop sign some time ago."

She trailed her fingers down the hair of his chest, past his stomach, and—"

Bobby sat up in bed, breathing hard. His bedside alarm read 3:00 a.m. He looked beside him to confirm what he already knew. He was alone. She had climbed back inside his head, just waiting for him to let down his guard again. He could try and convince himself that it would fade as the days passed and she grew healthy, but he knew that the two of them had passed the point where anything would ever be simple between them again.

………………………………………………………………………………..

TBC