13

Disclaimer: These characters are the property of Dick Wolf, Rene Balcer, and NBC inc.

A/N: There are 2-3 chapter left. I am sorting out the final details. Wasn't it great to see a new episode last night? I have been waiting! It was a good one too, and Eames had a fairly substantial role which I really appreciate. Thanks to those who reviewed. I love to hear from you. I am curious to hear what you think of this chapter.

Sheila

Control

Chapter 16

Jimmy Ross dressed in a suit for the hearing. However, his pasty skin and hollowed features told a truer story of his current state of affairs. During the hearing, he rolled his eyes and made audible sounds of disgust at the additional charges read. His lawyer tried to broach the subject of bail again, but the judge shook her head the minute the request was broached. When the hearing ended, Carver moved over to the defense table and talked to Jimmy's lawyer. He conferred with his client and then followed Carver out of the court room.

The lawyer placed his briefcase on the table and sat down. "I'm a little surprised, Ron. I thought you had the world's best case built here. Why even bother with a plea bargain?"

Carver made a gesture of indifference. "I'm trying to spare the people the financial burden of a trial."

"My client looks forward to a chance to defend himself in front of a jury."

"And it's your job to advise him of what folly that would be especially in light of this new evidence."

Jimmy leaned forward. "This isn't about the people. This is about Alex Eames. You want to spare her a trial, but it's not going to happen. It's her and I in that room, and I'm going to make sure that everyone knows the truth about her."

Carver frowned at him and then turned to the lawyer. "Can you remind your client that this is not a forum for vendetta. Rather it is a fight for his life especially with capital murder charges hanging over his head."

"What are you offering?"

"No! We're not interested!" Jimmy banged his fist on the table.

The lawyer looked at him. "I'm duty bound to offer you the best legal advice possible. It's insane to not hear the deal."

Jimmy looked away in disgust.

Carver saw this as an opening and spoke, "We take the death penalty off the table if he allocates to kidnapping, three counts of rape, and 2nd degree murder. He'll get life without parole."

"That's a joke! Come on, we're not going to hear any more of this crap!" Jimmy pulled his wrists from where they were handcuffed to the table, clanking the steel on steel angrily.

The door to the room slowly opened and Bobby Goren walked in. He smiled down at Jimmy. "Long time, no see."

Jimmy jerked at his handcuffs again. "Who let him in here?"

Carver cocked his head at Goren. "The detective is not under any sanction to stay away from you." Despite his words, Carver folded his hands together tightly and frowned at him. It was a little early in the game to go off script. Skoda was the one scheduled to make an entrance at this moment.

"Hey! I just want to be here when you see all the evidence we have. You have to admit that after all you put me through, you owe me that." Bobby scraped a chair back and sat down.

"You manufactured evidence," he mumbled.

"We didn't, but I have really grown to admire you, Jimmy. You have left us in knots for so long. That's quite a feat. They don't call us Major Case for nothing."

Jimmy smirked.

Goren pointed at him, looking at Carver. "Look how he can't control his arrogance, his need for power, attention."

"You are no psychiatrist," his lawyer said.

Bobby nodded. "True. But I'm a reader, and Dr. Skoda finished a report this morning." He pulled it out of a file tucked under his arm and slid it toward them.

Jimmy ignored it, but his lawyer scooped it up and began to read.

Bobby stared at him. "This should work in your favor, Jimmy. There are plenty of mental illness diagnoses in there; bipolar, sociopathic personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, and paranoid personality disorder. That's quite a soup. Even I feel bad for you."

"The jury will see that I was not in control of my actions."

"Maybe, Jimmy, maybe, but none of these diagnoses would indicate that you didn't know exactly what you were doing."

"I have experts. We'll bury the jury in psychobabble."

"Shut up, Jimmy," his lawyer growled.

Bobby smiled. "The stuff in here about sexual dysfunction is going to be really good. It's gong to be hard for me to keep a straight face in there."

Jimmy frowned and looked at his lawyer. "What does it say in there?"

The lawyer fumbled through the pages for a moment before Bobby snatched it out of his hands. "I'll show you. Ahh! It's right here." He cleared his throat, "And I quote, In my opinion, James Ross's misogyny is based on a deep fear of women. He cannot attack them until he has them restrained and drugged. Even then he can't sustain interest when women continue to refuse his attentions. The victim reports that he was unable to hold an erection for more than a couple of minutes. It is my conclusion that he feels emasculated by strong women, and has a need to control them, but is frustrated in his attempts to do that even under the most restrictive circumstances." Bobby smiled at him. "This is racy stuff, Jimmy."

Jimmy's face grew red. "Those are lies! Bold face lies and they will be exposed in court."

"Sure. Right after they stopped snickering over the little engine that couldn't quite get up the hill." Goren winked at Carver who quickly dug up a grin in order to keep up with him.

Jimmy slammed his manacled hands down hard on the table letting out a scream of anger. "You can't do this. I will not be humiliated publicly like that."

Goren raised an eyebrow. "I don't see a way out of it. I recommend that you just hold your head high, and let it roll off your back."

"We will refute this! No one will believe it!" His hands shook and he kept pulling at his cuffs.

The door opened softly and she walked in. She was dressed in a black suit with a fiery red shirt opened at the collar. Her face held a Mona Lisa smile, and Goren wondered what miracle of acting she was employing to keep that expression in place. The only tell he caught was that she immediately sat down in a chair at the table, and he could imagine that she wanted to hide weak knees and trembling hands.

Despite her rather rushed entrance, the look of calm on her face stuck as she turned her eyes to Jimmy. "It's been a while, hasn't it?"

His eyes darted away from her and he said nothing.

"I wanted to stop in, and give you a preview of what you can expect from me in court. It's only fair since by the end of this trial, words like 'impotent', 'sniveling', and 'pathetic' are going to be the descriptions people will send with you to your grave."

Still not looking at her, he mumbled, 'bitch' under his breath. Goren had to grip the table with both hands to keep from scrambling over it at him.

"The public tends to lose interest in murderers who aren't particularly frightening. I mean, don't get me wrong; you're evil but mostly you're pathetic."

"I have rights!" he cried in a high pitched voice.

Goren reached under the table and found her hand. It was cold and clammy. At his touch, she jerked it away and slid the chair away from the table. Clutching her hands together in a ball, she got up and walked around the table until she was standing before him. Bobby eased out of his chair waiting for what might happen next.

"Get her away from me! I want to go back to my cell! She's going to hurt me!" Jimmy was yanking wildly at his cuffs.

She leaned over until she was an inch from his face. "Jimmy, you're going to take this deal. Prison is the safest place for you. You're not built to handle death row. You would cry like a baby every day, and the guards would probably beat you senseless because of it."

He tried to turn away from her, but she grabbed his hair and pulled his eyes back to hers. "I will tell them everything. I will tell them about your pathetic attempts to woo me. I will explain in great detail how you raped me and how you needed me tied and drugged in order to do it. I will tell about how you drugged me and dragged me down to the basement. I remember every minute as you strung up the pulley and put the rope around my neck. We have the pulley, you know. My hair is in it, and your fingerprints are. It's going to be hard to explain away."

Tears were running down his face and his body began to convulse in sobs. He turned to his lawyer, but the man was strangely quiet. He just looked at Jimmy and said, "You have to think about this deal."

"We all know what you did to Latinka. You didn't know that she had helped me. No, you were going to kill her even when you thought she had killed me for you. She didn't know that or she would never have gone back there."

"She killed herself. She was depressed," he sobbed.

"No, she didn't!" She jerked his face back to hers. "She didn't! I will testify that she had saved me and was going to take me down to the city. I will testify that she was proud of beating you. This woman was not in any frame of mind to kill herself, and the jury is going to hear that! Jimmy, you are going to lose. You're going down!" She yanked hard at his hair.

Goren was there, carefully prying her fingers out of his hair. His arm wrapped around her waist and he pulled her away from Jimmy. Carver relaxed in his chair.

Bobby could feel the tension in her, but she allowed him to hold her back. Her eyes had become feverish. "I'm going to destroy you, Jimmy, and I'm going to look good doing it. I got strength; you weren't even close to hurting me. I can't wait for that trial. I want to be in there every day, and I'm going to stare at you until you start to cry 'cause you know what I would do to you if I had the chance, and you know the pleasure with which I would do it. You're going to cry every day in there, and the judge is going to be disgusted and the jury is, and the press is going to name you the 'Weeping Rapist'. I got connections at the papers; it's a done deal."

She was straining against him, and so Bobby gripped her more tightly. He wanted to join in, but, for once, Bobby understood that this was her show not his.

Jimmy turned to his lawyer and wailed, "Please help me!"

"You should take the deal, Jimmy. No one else would advise you differently."

"I want my day in court!" He sounded everything like a ten year old boy.

"It's your decision, Jimmy, but I'd listen to your lawyer if I were you. It sounds like Detective Eames could really make things rough for you." Carver added quietly.

"No!" He was hysterical now, and so Bobby let go of Alex and went over to restrain him. The lawyer shouted for guards, and it was with much effort that they released him from the table and dragged him from the room. Alex watched the whole thing from the corner of the room, wide eyed and silent. Jimmy began kicking, and Bobby had to grab his feet and follow the guards out the door. Alex leaned against the wall for support. "I was afraid of that thing?"

Carver walked over to her. "They found Saddam Hussein hiding in a dirt hole like a rat. Being evil doesn't require courage."

Stretched as far as she had ever been, Alex felt the room start to dim. The tension that had overwhelmed her body was suddenly gone, but it didn't leave alone. Slowly, she slid down the wall. Carver stepped over to help ease her down. "He's not going to take the deal." Her own voice sounded hollow and distant, and she absently wondered where she had gone.

Crouched next to her, he smiled. "I wouldn't be so sure about that. You really scared him. My guess is that he'll realize that his only release from his fear will be to take the deal. Let's give him a few days."

The trembling began in her limbs and traveled throughout her. Her stomach heaved and she leaned over to vomit the contents of her stomach. She lifted her head again, and Carver could see that the color had drained from her face. The assistant D.A. was not prepared for this type of emergency and all he could think to do was to hold her head and yell for help.

Bobby bounded back into the room followed by Skoda. Bobby pushed Carver aside and gathered her up in his arms. Even then, she seemed limp, barely acknowledging his contact. Skoda yelled at Carver to call 911.

Bobby looked up. "She'll be fine. Just give her a minute."

"She's in shock, Bobby. Feel her skin." Skoda pulled off his jacket. "Lay her down here. Let's get her feet elevated."

Bobby laid her gently on the suitcoat, and then took off his own and draped it on her trembling form. Skoda pulled her feet up onto a chair and then turned around to find her pulse. He looked at Bobby, "She's going to need a hospital."

"I've never seen…"

"It's an extreme reaction, that's for sure."

"Is she going to be okay? Is this a psychotic break?"

"Let's get her sedated and then we'll see."

"I knew something like this would—"

"Knock it off, Bobby. We don't have any time for that right now. She needs to feel safe. Take her hand. Talk to her."

Bobby stroked her face and began whispering words to her, no real sense of what they were or what they meant. When the paramedics pulled him away from her, he wasn't even sure if she was still conscious or not.

…………………………………………………………………………..

Hospitals are good at holding mysteries. In fact, some might say they revel in it as a means of keeping people in the dark about how little even they know about the human body. Bobby haunted the halls of Bellevue for three days, growing shaggier and more disheveled with every hour. He lived on coffee, cafeteria eggs, and vending machine candy. Communicating with him had become difficult at best. He brushed aside attempts to comfort or reassure him, and bristled at suggestions that he go home and rest. The nurses seemed wary of him, and so he stayed away from them in hopes that they wouldn't complicate his efforts to inhabits the hallways of the ward. Every day Logan came and tried to take him home, and every day, they ended up one twitch away from a fist fight. Barek took care to be at these events to keep them both from being kicked out of the hospital.

Skoda had become public enemy number one for Bobby. He wouldn't allow Alex to have any visitors, and handed out vague information on her condition as if they were state secrets. It had gotten so that Bobby couldn't even look at him when he walked in the room. He would retreat to a corner, and listen to Skoda's updates sullenly, doing his best to maintain an uneasy peace.

Mary Eames was the only person who could reach him. She had set up shop in the waiting room on the first day, a big bag at her side. From it emerged all varieties of surprises from a half knitted scarf to a full set of toiletries, reading material including Whitman and Tolstoy, and a photo album of Alex's childhood. Every so often, she would gesture to him, and he would sit beside her while she pointed at pictures and told him stories. It was the most animated he got during his time at the hospital, laughing at her stories and asking questions. The rest of the family showed at various times throughout the days, but Mary never encouraged them to stay saying that Bellevue was no kind of place for people to linger.

On the evening of the third day, Skoda walked out into waiting, and stood there, hands in his pockets. Mary and Bobby looked up at him. "I need to talk to the two of you. Come with me."

They followed him silently into a room with a two way mirror much like the one in their squadroom. The mirror opened out on a hospital room, Alex lying in the bed sleeping soundly. Bobby walked up to the glass. "Can we go in?"

"No, right now, we need to talk." Skoda gestured at a table and chairs. Bobby pulled out a chair for Mary and then warily sat himself.

"I talked to her today for quite a while. It was a good talk; she was quite lucid."

Bobby's face flushed. "That's good! Did you hear that, Mary?"

She nodded and put a hand over his, squeezing tightly.

"Yes, I think it is good news. You were right, Bobby. She did have a psychotic break. She pushed too hard, and her psyche needed escape."

"But it sounds like she's going to be fine."

Skoda sighed. "I hope she will. She really has a long ways to go yet. Her emotional state is really quite precarious."

"You're trying to say something to me, Emil. I can tell. What are you trying to tell me?"

"She needs a very specific set of circumstances for her recovery, and they do not include you."

Bobby stopped, his mouth open. Mary Eames let go of his hand and frowned at Skoda. "I don't understand, Doctor. What's wrong with Bobby? He has been there for her every minute. He found her."

Bobby's hand twitched and he struggled not to remind her that he had stumbled on Alex, nothing more. Instead, he tried to focus his attention. "I think we better let Dr. Skoda explain what he means."

"Thanks. I appreciate that, Bobby." He leaned forward. "She's really delicate right now, and if you ask her what she's most worried about, she'll say she's worried about you. She feels like she owes you. She's afraid to be sick, that it will be too much of a burden for you."

Bobby shook his head. "No, Emil, we talked about this. I told her I was fine. I told her I wasn't going anywhere."

"Right now, her recovery is about you. She doesn't want to disappoint you."

"I've tried to talk to her about this." Bobby's fingers danced on the table in his nervousness.

"That's not all. Everything is about control right now for her. She needs to run the show on her recovery. She can't be a prisoner to anyone else's expectations and she won't let anyone lead her by the hand."

"I don't try to do those things."

Skoda snorted. "Bobby, you are a very powerful personality. Emotionally, you're a hurricane. She can't sort it all out right now."

He rubbed at his face. "I would work within whatever guidelines you gave me."

"I talked to Alex about this for quite some time today. These are not my wishes solely. Alex agrees. She wants to see you, wants to talk to you, but she knows that it doesn't help her right now."

Bobby was on his feet, his chair falling to the ground. "You're telling me that I am hurting her; I'm no good for her!"

"No Bobby, I'm not. I'm really not saying that. Please sit down."

Bobby walked to the mirror and put his fingers on the glass. She lay on her side in the bed, her hair fell across her face and he could see she was untroubled by bad dreams.

"Bobby, listen to Dr. Skoda please. He's not saying that you're bad for Alex. Please, listen to him."

Bobby turned around slowly and picked up the chair. He sat down again.

Skoda leaned toward him. "This needs to be about her right now. She needs to be free of distractions and emotional entanglements, and Bobby, I would say that you qualify in that area."

Bobby chuckled, shaking his head. "I really can be overwhelming. She called me an acquired taste once. Such a sharp tongue that girl has. It was the first thing that I liked about her. I don't want to hurt her, Emil."

"Then give her the space to see herself and to think for herself and to let her make her own decisions in her own time."

He nodded slowly, and Skoda imagined that he was seeing the brilliant detective age before him.

"Can I say good-bye?"

Skoda closed his eyes. "She asked me to do that for her. I don't think she has the emotional energy to let you go herself."

"Will she stay here at Bellevue?"

"No," Skoda chuckled. "This place will only make her worse. I have a therapist in mind, and there's a friendwhere she can stay. It's in California. She'll be safe and with people who care about her. In fact, I was wondering, Mary, if you would go with with Alex. I think it would really help to have you nearby."

The older woman nodded but kept her eyes on Bobby. "She'll be okay, Bobby. I'll watch her."

Skoda took a deep breath. "You can give her a gift before you go."

Bobby raised his eyebrow at the doctor.

"She wants assurances that you'll be okay while she's gone. She wants me to tell her that I feel confident that you'll be fine."

Bobby let out a deep breath. "This is the only way?"

Skoda shook his head. "This is the best way."

He felt such sadness take hold in his gut. Skoda's words and Mary's did nothing to alleviate the fact that she was better without him. Both of them were waiting for a response and all he could trust himself to do was nod. Then he got up wearily and walked to the window one last time. Resting his cheek on the glass, he watched her rest and he wondered if she had ever slept this well when she was with him.

"I can guarantee her that you'll be okay?"

"Yes" he murmured into the glass.

"Bobby, there's a good possibility she'll come back to you."

"Doesn't sound like a healthy option for her," he replied.

"It's the circumstances of the moment that are not healthy for her. Don't turn this into something its not."

Mary got and put out her hand. He let her pull him into a hug. "Take care, Bobby. She'll come back and she'll be looking for you. I have no doubts."

Bobby couldn't raise his eyes to either of them as he left the room. He lingered in the hallway for a moment, avoiding the glances of the nurses who hurried by him, and then realized that he no longer belonged here. He shook his head violently as if to dislodge something caught inside him, and then went straight to the elevators.

…………………………………………………………………………..

Deakins looked at him from across the desk. He hadn't seen him in three days, but the man had lost time to burn and so that wasn't the issue. The Goren who sat before him seemed familiar. He was wearing a sharp suit fit to a tee with every seam. His beard was its usual grizzly, and he had that ever present sleepy look in his eyes.

Deakins tried some questions about Eames, but Goren was vague, even stating at one point he hadn't been in contact with her. Deakins got frustrated when he heard that as he wasn't used to being lied to by his detectives, but there was something about Goren's calm that kept him at bay.

Deakins glared at him out of the corner of his eye. "So you have no damn idea when she's getting back here?"

Bobby shrugged. "Or if she's coming back."

"And you're going to just sit there like a big ape and not tell me one damn thing."

Bobby sighed. "What we had was not healthy. I understand that now. It's a blow, I'll admit, but I've thought about it and what I really want to do right now is work. Skoda says it's best if I'm not a part of her life right now."

"Are you drunk?"

Bobby shook his head. "I hear Samuelson is at loose ends. Maybe I could partner up with him."

"We don't carry that much liability. He'd shoot you by the end of the week."

"Yeah, well, I've learned a lot from Eames about getting along with others. I think I might be better equipped to handle the whole partner thing."

"It'll be temporary, just until she comes back."

"It's okay either way. I'm flexible."

Deakins could only stare at him.

"Is that everything, Captain, 'cause I got a few files to finish up. Then I'm going to go see what Samuelson is up to."

Deakins couldn't fashion any sort of response so he merely nodded as Goren got up and headed out.

…………………………………………………..

TBC