Chapter Nine: Morning Troubles
Golden sun filtered through the horribly frayed drapes, and over the face of Severus Snape. He opened his eyes and blinked, feeling a weight on his chest. He lifted his head and to see Remus' arm draped over him; the werewolf's head nuzzled up to – much to Severus' surprise – his arm, more specifically, the cloth that covered his Dark Mark. He looked between the arm laying over him, and the werewolf's head, which was now stirring. Remus let out a small grunt and moved closer to Severus' body, his pelvis hitting the side of the Potion master's thigh. Severus thought he felt something rather firm against his leg... He blinked, surprised.
This close of contact early in the morning wasn't healthy – in Severus' opinion – for the way he was feeling. All of the sudden, and dreadfully without warning, his body reacted in the strangest of ways. He felt his trousers become rather tight as he grew hard. The Potion master's eyes went wide and he jumped out of bed, putting on his long jacket and buttoning it up quickly. Remus could never find out... Even though it was the werewolf that started it, he thought to himself.
Remus groaned as he was virtually tossed aside, opening a bleary eye in confusion.
"What? What happened?" Remus said loudly, his voice raspy and hoarse, "Death Eaters? Do we have to run again?" Severus shook his head negatively.
"I just remembered that the Wolfsbane needs a quarter hour of stirring this early in the morning." Severus fibbed, his tone sharp. He hoped that his voice didn't show any signs of panic.
Remus covered his waist and below with the tattered blanket, apparently becoming aware of his own situation. He cleared his throat, running a hand through his hair. Severus took this time to risk a glance at the wolf, seeing the sun rays drenching Remus' body, making the grey in his hair become gold, his skin become a lovely warm bronze color, and his eyes glitter with flecks of green. He stared for a moment, and then frowned – this was most certainly not helping the tight hardness in his trousers.
There was no way of knowing who he was thinking about... Could it have been me... or Tonks... or anyone at all? Severus thought to himself, his eyebrows furrowing. He turned from his werewolf companion, heading towards the cauldron. He knew -- falling victim to it many times himself -- that men can experience erections in their sleep for relatively no reason at all. Remus stood, his back turned.
"I'm going to go to the loo." He announced, "I don't think that you know that there is one here. It's right downstairs, but... unfortunately... it doesn't flush, and I have no idea what spell can make it do so…" He said, and then walked out, being careful as for Severus not to see his erection.
Severus took this opportunity to face the dirty walls of one of the corners and pleasure himself, pulling at his arousal, trying to make as little noise as possible. No doubt Remus was doing the same thing in the loo, and that imagery was what helped him find satisfaction. He sighed as he thought of Remus holding onto the wall, his eyes shut, hand busy at his crotch. He imagined the lycanthrope's soft lips parted gently and whispering his name over and over…
Severus finished, feeling less ashamed, and did a simple cleaning charm on the wall, and on himself. He went back to his Potion, just as Remus' footsteps were heard in the hall. The werewolf walked in, looking less worried and more awake than he did previously. He approached Severus, looking into the cauldron innocently.
"Almost ready?" Remus inquired. Severus nodded in affirmation.
"It'll be ready by tonight." He replied. Remus smiled, and then a very worried, sad expression overtook his face. The lines in his forehead looked more prominent when he did this. If he didn't look so troubled, it would be quite beautiful... He thought to himself, and then shook his head.
"The moon is tonight, Severus..." He said, and then looked up into the Potions master's face. Severus merely shrugged.
"You will have the Wolfsbane and be fine." He said. Remus shook his head.
"Don't I have to take it the week before the moon?" He asked, looking very upset. Severus shook his head, placing a hand on Remus' shoulder. Remus' cheeks turned a light pink.
"This Potion is incredibly powerful. Since we have been forced to be on the run, I have concentrated the strength. It's something that I should have done years ago..." He trailed off softly, looking slightly guilty, and then started again, "You only have to take it once now, before the moon." Remus looked grateful.
"Thank you, Severus. How ingenious..." He complimented. Severus sighed, his lips turning up at the corners to form a guilty, tight lipped smile as he turned his back to Remus, picking shrivelfigs from a Potions bottle. He placed two or three in the cauldron, and it turned a color that Remus didn't recognize... It wasn't a deep green... and it wasn't black... but it looked monstrous.
"It'll be deep green by this afternoon. You will be able to tell the color." Severus said reassuringly.
Remus sighed, and walked back to the bed, making it up neatly. "Are you hungry?" He asked a few minutes later.
Severus nodded. He conjured another cauldron – then wondered if anyone that was at Hogwarts staking out his office was wondering where the cauldrons were going or if any of the House Elves noticed food disappearing from the kitchens – and soon the water began to boil, and in no time a thick, hearty looking chicken soup was bubbling, making both of the men's mouths water.
They ate, gratefully taking in the warm food, seeing as the Shrieking Shack, even in summer, was very cold.
Severus set his bowl and spoon on the floor, wrapping himself in his coat.
"Gods, man. How could you have stayed in this bloody place once a month?" Severus asked, frowning, "It is quite cold in here." Remus pursed his lips, still eating. He swallowed.
"I always found a way to keep warm. Whether it be running around the Shack, jumping on the furniture, or even chasing my tail. I wasn't alone all the time, either. It gets warmer with three other animals in the room." He explained, choosing words carefully.
Severus scowled. "I knew this was going to come up sooner or later." He said bitterly, "So, it this where the circle jerk commenced?"
Remus looked appalled, his spoon hitting his bowl with a loud clang. "We did no such thing!" He said, standing, "They were in our animagus form, playing about – doing what animals do. I am a werewolf! They had to control me. I could have killed all of them and not known until the morning!" He hissed angrily.
Severus' eyes widened, "Remus, I'm sorry." He had never seen Remus this upset before. Severus noted that the Marauders were a sore subject... and he wasn't the only one. He decided not to speak of it again.
"You don't understand, Severus... they pitied me." He said mournfully, and walked over to the window. He pulled back at bit of frayed curtain and looked out over the landscape. His scars were more prominent in the sunlight, and Severus saw a lost, unwanted look in the lycanthrope's eyes. A look Severus saw every time he looked in the mirror... The dawning thought of never being cared for by another human being, and living a life of cursed solitude.
Severus stood and walked up behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder, "I am very sorry, Remus." He said, and then frowned. "You know how they treated me." Remus nodded.
"I know. I am aware, thank you." Remus said, his back still turned to the other man, "Things are over. James is dead. Sirius is dead. Peter is a murderer... and I'm – well – I'm here." He said, a small twinge of regretful laughter haunted his last words. He turned looked into Severus' black eyes. They looked at each other for a long moment, seeing the lonely ghosts of the past etched all over the scars and furrows and worry lines… Severus' breath hitched as their faces came closer in proximity, Remus' breath on his cheek.
"I need to rest." The werewolf said, and then leaned against Severus. "...and I need you to know that I never wanted or meant for things to happen that way... I had no part of it. I had no reason to." He said, and then walked over to the bed.
Memories flooded over Severus like cold, unfeeling rain. Remus hadn't said that in years...
Remus layed on the bed and closed his eyes, falling quickly into a deep sleep.
"I never wanted it either, Remus." He said softly, and he walked back to his Potion. Soon a faint snore was all to be heard.