Severus bottled the Potion as Remus slept; making absolutely sure that he didn't spill a drop. It was far too important, as the moon was scheduled for that evening. He licked his lips as he held the vial up into a small ray of light that shone through the moldy curtains. The Potions master examined it, thinking of his relationship with the werewolf as of late, and the growing affection he was developing for the man who slept soundly in the bed.
It just wasn't… probable, he thought to himself, After all these years… He frowned, and then bit his lip. Severus closed his eyes, placing his thumb and forefinger between his eyes tiredly.
Yes… I have feelings for him, he finally admitted to himself, but I doubt that he'd ever feel anything for me. Why should he?
He corked the vial and laid it next to Remus' pillow. The lycanthrope had one leg hanging off of the bed, his arm over his chest. His eyelids would flutter every so often, and Severus wondered what he was dreaming of. He leaned over and stroked the werewolf's forehead, brushing away a few graying ginger hairs. Severus ran his fingers delicately over the scars, remembering how suddenly, in their third year, they had developed. He remembered Remus coming to classes that the Slytherins and Gryffindors shared, face in bandages. Severus had wondered why and how, and that's when he started researching, eventually discovering that he was a werewolf…
He snapped out of his thoughts, walked over to the cauldron and cleaned it, opening his bag and coming across his worn little journal… The Potions master turned his head slightly as if to make sure Remus was still sleeping before he pulled it out and thumbed through the thin, frayed pages…
All he did was read books… That's what Severus remebers as he sat in one of the worn chairs a half an hour later, his black eyes zooming across the parchment as he read every single entry. Some would bring back memories of delight, and others would make his stomach churn with indescribable anger. But as the Potions master read in its entirety, an entry about Remus Lupin, he remembered that the werewolf would sit in a corner, or under a tree, or anywhere that he wouldn't be seen and read a book. As the others teased Severus, Remus would sit there, his jaw clenched and his eyes fixed on the same sentence in whatever title he was interested in.
Sometimes he would get up and walk away, throwing the rest a filthy look. Severus knew that he was just about as tired of the teasing as he was, but he never said a word. Severus supposed that if Remus stuck up for him, Black and Potter would have had a field day.
He turned the brittle page softly, hoping that the scratching of the old parchment against his fingers wouldn't wake up Remus. He began to skim the first few sentences when his stomach dropped… what he was reading had always been one of the memories that stuck out most in Severus' mind…
The Great Hall – Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry – 1978
Severus sat at the Slytherin table, alone, slowly eating his lunch. Potions was his next class, and the three scrolls of parchment on the properties of moonstone was due. Severus had completed six, and included a recipe he had concocted made with moonstone that helped the memory. Slughorn – the great moron he was -- would no doubt be pleased, he thought to himself, scratching his nose with the feather of his quill.
As he scratched through another line on the scroll and rewrote it, a large, sticky, wet piece of parchment hit him on the forehead. He closed his eyes, letting it slide down his face. An obnoxious uproar of laughter was to be heard from the Gryffindor table.
"That's fifty points, Padfoot!" James Potter gasped between bouts of laughter. "I got him on the forehead. It's so greasy it didn't even stick!" He ran his hand through his messy black hair, causing the strands to stick straight into the air. His friends, sans Remus, seemed to think his remark was hilarious, as well as a few more Gryffindors down the table.
Sirius Black stood, his gray eyes crinkled with amusement. He filled a straw with wet parchment and shot at Severus, hitting him on the nose.
"One hundred, Prongsie!" He said, pleased with himself. Potter narrowed his eyes with mock-anger.
"That's not a hundred, mate!" He said, standing, "His nose is big enough to hit from across the lake!" There was another bout of uproarious laughter.
"Oi! Snivellus! Could you be so kind as to turn around and let us hit you in the arse?" Black asked, a broad smirk on his smug face, "I need the target practice."
Severus stood and peeled the parchment from his nose, tossing it aside. He glanced down the table to see a few of the Professors entering the Great Hall, chatting animatedly. "If you want an arse for a target so badly, why don't you bend Potter over? I am more than sure that is the nightly ritual, right? Why wait that long?" He said, and then gathered his books. He glanced up at Lupin, who was perched on the edge of his seat, his brows furrowed, and an open Potions book in front of him.
Black and Potter looked outraged, and snickers were even heard sporadically down the Gryffindor table.
"Alright... I think that's enough, lads." Lupin said wisely, standing. Severus left the Slytherin table and began to walk to the doors of the Great Hall. Black and Potter beat him there, unfortunately, wands at the ready.
"Why don't you go suck Malfoy off then, Snivellus?" Black hissed.
"Not every housemate engages in dirty sex acts. Oh Potter… what would Evans think?" Severus asked coldly. Potter pushed him against the doors. Students were starting to gather in a crowd, waiting for blood to be shed, for them to fight like wild animals in a pin. Remus could sense the danger, and he fought his way through the crowd, dread churning his insides.
"You watch your mouth, Snivellus..." James said venomously. Severus closed his eyes, and sighed. He opened them again, and smirked.
"Yeah, I wouldn't dare say anything bad about the mudblood, now would I?"
Black hexed Severus, and so did Potter. Within no time, Severus was on the floor, his nose bleeding, and his legs twitching uncontrollably. They laughed... nearly everyone laughed. Blood spurted all over the stone floors, and he kicked high into the air, slamming his heels into the ground. It hurt, most definitely. Seemingly out of nowhere, Professor McGonagall made her way through, waving her wand, releasing Severus from the painful hexes.
She looked gravely at Potter and Black, who looked momentarily dumb-struck. Apparently they didn't know she was watching.
"How dare you attack another student!" She said angrily, "I'm sorry, but that's thirty points from each of you, and detention." Potter frowned heavily, a slight glint of guilt in his eyes. Black shrugged as McGonagall turned her back, leaning over Severus.
"Mr. Lupin, will you please escort Mr. Snape to the hospital wing so he can get his nose healed." She ordered, turning back to the Marauders. Lupin nodded, taking Severus' hand and helping him up. Professor McGonagall gave one last glare to Black and Potter before shooing the crowd.
Black and Potter smirked at Severus as they walked out of the Great Hall, laughing, and casting looks over their shoulders.
Severus looked into the eyes of the werewolf -- seeing guilt as well as sympathy -- as he regained his footing, stumbling out of the Great Hall as if he'd just began to use his legs for the first time. They walked in silence, Severus leaning on the wall, his legs feeling as if they were made of jelly. Remus glanced over at him every now and then; looking as if there was something he desperately needed to say.
"Why don't you say it then? You look as if you'll explode." Severus snapped, leaning against the wall in front of the Hospital wing. Remus' eyebrows jumped.
"Say what?" He asked, licking his lips.
"Whatever it is on your mind," Severus replied, softer than his previous tone. Remus shouldered his bag, looking thoughtful. He stared at the ground for a moment before he looked into Severus' eyes and placing his hand on his shoulder.
"I–" He stuttered, "I'm sorry, Severus... I never, ever wanted that to happen. I hate it just as much as you do, I wager, and I had no part of it. I have no reason to… to… tease you," his voice trembled as he removed his hand and walked away briskly. Severus watched him as he left, thinking that Remus Lupin could have been a good friend – if he didn't associate with the cretins.
As Severus closed the diary, thinking that had been enough memories for one day, Remus stirred, sitting up on the bed. His hair was slightly wild, and he rubbed his eyes.
"The Potion is next to you." Severus said calmly, absently fooling with his hands. Remus nodded, uncorking the vial and smelling it.
"Thank you," He said, his voice husky from sleep. Severus extended his head in reply, sighing. Remus downed the Potion, pulling a face. "Oh yes, I can tell its concentrated," The werewolf coughed, corking the vial again and sitting it on the bed. He stretched, watching as the sky began to turn bronze and the sun began to dip towards the Earth, signaling the night would soon be approaching.
Severus frowned, thoughts going through his head. He wanted to ask… he needed to ask…
"Remus?" He asked, taking his eyes from the floor and looking at him seriously. Remus raised an eyebrow, his lips slightly pursed.
"Yes, Severus?" He asked cordially. Severus' brow furrowed.
"Why didn't you ever get involved with the teasing? Why didn't you ever join in with them?" He asked, crossing his arms. Remus looked surprised, clearing his throat.
"Because I felt that you didn't deserve it. I felt as if James and Sirius were acting unfairly, not to mention extremely immature." He said, standing, "It was an oversight not to defend you, but, as you probably already figured, because I would have been poked at as well." Severus nodded.
"Thank you, Remus." He said, walking over to the werewolf. Remus' eyes widened as he took off his old cardigan.
"You're most welcome, Severus." He said pleasantly, "Now if you'll help me, we must prepare for the moon."