Author's Note: I know, I took a bit of a break, but I'm back! Thanks for the feedback. About the "Diary Dearest" comment, I don't think I rushed the transformation, only because this is a parody of this type of fic and the transformation in comparison is typical. If anything, I think I might be going slowly in comparison.

Also, since someone asked how you get "Mia" from "Hermione", and if it helps, my theory is the author cuts off the "her" and "one" and use the "mi". But, since that alone makes no sense, they add an "a", for a more feminine and complete sound – "mia", which I believe is pronounced "my-ah". Just a theory.

I hope that helps. As always, all thoughts and criticisms are appreciated.

This chapter places our seriously OOC Hermione back at Hogwarts. This is an AU story (obviously), so keep that in mind as things make a turn for the worst. Think things are tragic now? Let's see how you feel at the end of the chapter…

Disclaimer: I don't own Hermione or any of the other characters or locations. I'm just borrowing them to make a point.

Hermione's Season of Change: Part II

Hey Diary,

I'm back, for the time being. Cuz there's nothing else to do. I totally thought it would be for the best to accept this weird change that has come over me. I thought seeing Harry and Ron would make it a little easier, you know? Well, it totally didn't work out like that, no, not at all. :(

First they stared at me. Not the, "OMG, you're so hawt!" stare I've been getting all summer, but a kinda…well, it wasn't good.

So of course, I'm like, "What's you're deal? Haven't you ever seen a girl with pretty red hair, snake boots, a leather skirt, and black tank top before?"

And Ron goes, "…No."

Then Harry asks, "What the bloody hell happened to you?"

Well, that kinda hurt. So I just told them to fuck off. Now that I think of it, there was a more intelligent way of responding, at least several. Thing is, I didn't want to get into anything right there, with people still finding compartments and probably listening in on our brief falling out.

I'm in a compartment with Neville right now. Ginny went get some candy or something (I suspect she's off to ask Ron what's going on). Neville keeps staring at me, like he wants to say something, but doesn't know what. I just hope he keeps his mouth shut. I don't know what I'll say or do if he asks the wrong question.

Anyway…the hell with it. The train ride will be over soon, I think maybe it will be easier to talk to the two of them and explain things when we get to Hogwarts. Of course, I'll have to change into that icky boring uniform first. That thing does nothing for my hair. I'm glad I brought my little patch of leather with me. :)

Mia

- - - - - -


Diary,

The first few days back have been like totally dreadful. Everyone is staring at me. I knew it! That stupid uniform does nothing for my hair! Ugh! I'm resisting urge to send the thing up in smoke.

Anyway, Ron and Harry…things are still kind of weird. I told Ron and Harry about the "change", and while we still don't know what to do, I've told them that I'm not going to worry about it.

And then Ron goes all, "You have to go to a Professor! McGonagall! Dumbledore! Snape, even!"

Waste my free time talking to teachers? Is that legal? They then said that I was completely out of it and that THEY would find a way to get me back to "normal".

Sweet gesture but please! I'm me and I couldn't think of a way out of this. What are those two going to do, besides make things worse?

Mia

P.S. Britain is doing nothing for my complexion.

- - - - - -

Hey Diary,

Had an interesting day today. I made a new friend, and her name is Madelyne Pryor, but she likes to be called "Maddy" for short. She's really nice, and she has pretty red hair, just like I do. Cool, huh? Even though she's a little shy about her home life, we got along nicely. I know we're going to be friends, which is brilliant, because Harry and Ron are still off being "heroic" and have little time for me.

Anyway, I have so much catching up to do with my studies, if I study.

Ciao!

Mia

- - - - -

Dear Diary,

I can't complain. I'm miraculously passing my classes, even though I can't seem to study to save my life. Lol. Maddy has been a big help, though, letting me borrow her notes and stuff. I just might make it through the year. Or not.

Draco is beginning to bug me. Not with his stupid "mudblood" jokes or anything like that. But he talked about my hair. NO ONE talks about my hair. If he does it again, I swear, I will not be held responsible for my actions.

Oh, that reminds me. Maddy said she's going to highlight her hair with black streaks so that it can be just like mine. Isn't that sweet? Now we can be twins. Wicked!

Mia :)

- - - - -

Diary,

I am shaking as I write this. I mean, I haven't been this completely shook since, well, since this whole bloody "change" thing started a few months ago.

Okay, I can't believe I'm going to write this, but I am.

Draco Malfoy kissed me. He KISSED me.

Oh, sorry about that stain on the bottom corner there. I threw up a little before I could stop myself. Good thing I missed most of the book, but I had to change my sheets. Don't worry, I'm all better now. For the moment.

Anyway, to get back to what I was saying: he kissed me. And I let him. Bloody Hell! I mean good God; I hate that snobby little bigot. We were even having a bit of an argument before it happened. If you could call it an argument. It was mostly gestures on my part.

Then, he somehow got me in a corner away from everyone. I swear on Crookshank's tail, I was getting ready to light that platinum blond little toad up with a hex you haven't seen this side of the Dark Ages…when it happened.

He kind of looked at me, and then he did this weird sniff thing. Ew, I'm trying not to be sick again as I write this.

And then he just kissed me. I try to fight him off for the first few seconds, obviously. Then, for reasons I don't know, I kind of didn't want to fight anymore.

Luckily, Maddy saw me, and I guess it looked weird to her, because she knows how much I dislike him, so she shouted my name.

It was enough to get me out of whatever had come over me. I wasted no time kneeing the little wanker between the legs (surprise, there's something there!) and then I just ran as fast as I could.

That's what happened. I can't believe it myself, but that's what happened.

Diary, I have completely changed my mind. Forget the beautiful hair, the leather, the dark poetry, and this love of all things tight. If this change means I may be making out with Draco whenever the mood hits me, then to hell with it ALL. I'm going to track down Ron, Harry, Maddy, Dumbledore, and anyone else I think can help me.

There is no way I am going to be Draco's muggle-born bitch. I'd rather die. Somehow, I'm going to put a stop to this. Yes, even if it kills me, as the cliché goes. Hopefully, it will kill Draco first.

I'm off to scrub my mouth again, since I can still taste his tongue. Gross!

Hermione

Author's Endnote: Well, it looks like our normal rational Hermione is coming back to us. Things just may be looking up…or I just may be playing with your emotions.

For some of you, the name "Maddy Pryor" should be familiar. I'm not at liberty to say why, because it may play out in this story.

Next chapter: A fight, a poem, and the improbable shipper cliché from HELL! Thanks for reading.

CMCB