A/N: So heads up on this chap. It's written a little differently than all my other fics, infact the rest of this story is written differently. In two parts to be exact, sort of a present/future, or a past/present, however you choose to look at it that's what it is. The prolouge however, doesn't really have a home yet, you need to figure out where and when that fits in. Eventually it will all make sense. Thanks for all your patience, and the wonderful reviews…Happy reading!
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Chapter 1
He wasn't sure what he was thinking as he took a sip of the clear liquid. He was at a complete loss as he sat in the room thinking of his daughter. Things weren't supposed to happen like this. It wasn't supposed to be her that was hurt. She was supposed to be all right, and the fact that she was pregnant only made him hurt more.
He had wanted the man dead, not his own daughter. He didn't want to be welcoming a parentless child into the world, yet he would be in a matter of hours. It wasn't his plan. She had begged him. Begged him not to take her baby from her, from the world, when losing the child would be the only thing that would save her, she wasn't strong enough to support them both.
She was the only one who ever softened his heart after he had lost so much. The only person with a clear shot at calling him off of what ever rampage he was on, and he couldn't resist her. She was his life since the minute she was born, and he was so afraid that history would repeat itself. That this child would be born, and he would lose his daughter the same way he lost his wife. He wasn't sure he could raise another child, loving it, caring for it and yet still be able to live with the fact he could lose this baby to his lifestyle like he had lost so many others before.
He lost his sister. His sister was the first to leave his, and his fathers life of violence and the mob. His wife was second. She should have lived longer than him, but complications during the birth of their daughter made that impossible, if only she hadn't been shot. Now his daughter lie in that bed unable to move unable to talk to him, all she was able to do was beg that her child live. He couldn't stand knowing that in order for his grandchild to live he would most likely have to sacrifice his daughter.
He sat in the waiting room as he continued to drink the clear liquid that burned his throat as it went down. The doctors had asked him not to drink, but he had to, he couldn't do this sober. He had made the world think he was dead, like they already thought she was, and he had no one, no one that would listen, no one that cared.
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The only sounds that could be heard throughout the bright room were the cries of a baby and the beep of the heart monitor as the doctors tied to start the woman's heart again. It was no use though. She had died giving birth to the child that would someday make his fathers life a living hell. She had given birth to the greatest joy in her life and the greatest horror of the father her child wouldn't know for years.
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It was early morning, a little before six, and the sun was just beginning to peak over the horizon. Courtney sat on the back porch of the house in Italy as she sipped her coffee. She loved to wake up and watch the sun rise; it was something she always did in Port Charles.
She watched as the colors of the morning sky swirled together forming a beautiful pattern of reds, oranges, and yellows. She couldn't stop thinking of her life, of everything that happened. She had been through so much with Jason. She couldn't get him out of her head. She sat there thinking of all the things that they had shared together and all the things that they lost. They had loved each other so much. She had loved him anyway. She still did, but she knew he had moved on. He was with her now and it broke her heart.
She sat on the porch as the tears began to fall. Why had she left? Why had she let that brunette take her life? She wasn't sure she could handle it, not today. She hated days like this. The days where her past met her future, the days where she couldn't just put everything behind her and forget. She hated that day, once a year that she had to remember the day her baby was…
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She looked around the room. She was sure that they had fallen asleep together in that bed, but waking up she didn't see anyone. She slowly sat up as she swung her legs over the edge of the bed. She hated waking up alone, not that she wasn't used to it by now. She had spent so many nights alone that on those rare occasions that she needed comfort she always had some one. She put her feet in her slippers and grabbed her robe as she made her way down the stairs.
She searched all of the rooms before she looked out on the porch. The sun was rising and the person she was searching for was resting on the porch. Carly stepped out on the deck and walked up behind the person. They were both going through a rough time and they needed comfort. They had both lost children on this day.
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He looked off the balcony and over the city. It wasn't much of a city but all he could think of was her, and how she died. Did he cause it? Was it his fault? He watched from his balcony in Harbor View Towers as the sun rose into the sky. He remembered how she loved to wake up early every morning and watch the sun rise. It was like her internal clock couldn't get out of the habit. She got up that early with the baby, then the baby was gone and she still couldn't seem to sleep in. She would get up before him on most days just to watch the sun rise.
He remembered waking up every morning expecting to wrap his arms around her and just hold her only to find she wasn't next to him. He would have to walk down the stairs and on to the balcony just to see her, to wrap his arms around her and feel whole. That was another time, another life, and a life before she was no more. He couldn't help but think of her today, today was the day he thought she had come back only to find that she was truly gone. He couldn't deal with it; he had needed her for so long. He had needed her.
He stood watching the sunrise as a pair or stringy limp arms wrapped around his stomach. He let out a sigh knowing it wasn't the same, it wasn't her. He also knew that it helped him forget. That when he was with her he didn't have to remember all the good times he had with her.
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The man lie in bed looking up at the ceiling he was completely lost in his thoughts. He had a wonderful woman wrapped in his arms and all he could think of was the day his ex-wife disappeared. He had searched everywhere for her, but he never found her. It was like she had dropped off the face of the earth. He missed her so much sometimes, and he knew that his boys had missed her, especially Morgan who never got the chance to really know the amazing woman that was his mother.
Sonny shifted in bed as his current wife rolled in his arms. Times were different. She had left him; she had disappeared leaving him alone. He would have waited, he was positive had they still been married that he would have waited, but they weren't. So he had moved on.
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