Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. Nor do I write for it. If I did, you guys would have had re-runs for the past few months. Which leads me to ...

I'm SO, SO, SO sorry about not updating this sooner. I could go on and on, but then this A/N would be larger than the chapter :( Forgive me?

Thanks to Laura Katharine for the beta - among other things. Her constant prodding and nagging and, dear God, the POKING! Well, it paid off. She wasn't the only one trying to whip me into shape - mossely, Laura27md, Marlou on occasion, Nessa ... Yep. Abusive, all of them.

This is a response to the improv challenge posted on YTDAW. First and last line provided, no more than 2,000 words. I went over.

The resonating thud of the gavel was felt more than heard. It was finally over and a wave of relief could be felt washing over the courtroom. Clive Ford was found guilty for the horrific and highly publicized murder of his ex-wife and her newly acquired family. The quadruple homicide had kept the whole team on overtime four months ago, once again had them pulling doubles in order to prepare.

Grissom followed his team as they left the courtroom, his sluggish stride expanding the distance between them. As he exited the rear of the courthouse, he noticed that everyone had congregated by Warrick's car. Apparently, Tina came to pick him up after court and he now stood behind his new wife with his arms wrapped around her shoulder and waist.

Grissom was happy for them. It never really occurred to him that Warrick was looking for something more outside of work. Grissom knew that he dated and he even heard Tina's name come up once or twice in the weeks preceding their marriage, but for some reason, he always thought that everyone did the same thing he did when they left work. Go home, pretend that loneliness wasn't a choice, go back to work. Instead, he realized that the only thing he was pretending was that he wasn't the only one who didn't have a life.

As he approached the gathering, he noticed Catherine's forced expression. He knew she was also happy for Warrick, but that there was also a part of her heart that was a little bruised over his nuptials. She was on the outskirts of the group, leaning against a car he knew wasn't hers, listening to Tina speak with interest. But his trained eye - and probably Warrick's - noticed that her smile wasn't quite complete.

She was mourning a relationship that never was and probably never would be. Grissom shook his head and smirked in appreciation of her feelings - he knew it all too well. Still, she had Lindsey and her mom and even though she was a little hurt over Warrick, he knew that she had her own fair share of dates recently.

Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he joined Catherine and gave her a tired smile. "Why are we all still here?"

"Tina wants to take everyone out for a celebratory lunch. So, how about it - you coming?"

"I have plans this afternoon."

"Funny, that's the same thing that she said." She knowingly tipped her head towards Sara, who by all appearances, looked like she was ready to bolt. He imagined seeing Warrick and Tina together reminded her of what she almost had with Jason.

"Well?" Catherine asked.

"It's not what you think."

"You sure? You two have been spending a lot of time together lately."

He did have plans and yes, they were with Sara. For the past two weeks they had been meeting on 'dates' and worked on her signing. Sara was still enrolled in her ASL class she signed up for when she first started dating Jason, but her schedule didn't allow for the practice she would need outside of the classroom. When he first suggested the idea, it never occurred to him how much time they would be spending outside of work. It wasn't like they could sign to each other when you have dusting powder in one hand and a brush in the other. They had been out on five 'dates' so far and each was as uncomfortable as the one before. In the past, spending time with her was something to be cherished, now it was actually something he dreaded and today was no exception. He was tired, he was sure that she was as well, and the last thing Grissom wanted to do was pretend that this was something he wanted to do.

Catherine didn't wait for an answer and walked away to join the rest of the team, minus Sara, piling into the car for lunch. Quick goodbyes were made and suddenly he and Sara were alone, making their way to his vehicle. He started the engine, rolled down the windows and, for what seemed like an eternity, the only sound that could be heard was the soft humming of the car.

Per their agreement to only use sign when they were alone together, Grissom turned, raised his hands and let his motions and expressions speak for him. "Are you hungry?"

"Not really. You?"

"No."

"We don't have to do this today." Sara ran her hands through her hair and sighed. He watched as shoved her hands into the pockets of her suit coat, struggling with what she wanted to say. "I can't over-talk when I sign - I lose my wind," she joked, giving up for the moment and talking. "Listen, I know you're tired - I mean, we're all tired and … well, you always seem to want to isolate yourself after long cases."

"Is that what you think I want now? Get your hands out of your pockets," he demanded with a raised brow, and he chuckled at the defiant tongue she stuck out at him in return.

The light moment passed as they plummeted back down into their sea of uneasiness. It was obvious that Sara also recognized the awkwardness of their meetings. Neither of them deserved the weight of this tension, and he couldn't help but think that it was mostly his fault.

"I'm sorry, Sara."

"For what?"

"For …" He paused, wondering how to continue. Part of their awkwardness stemmed from the fact that they had to rely on honesty and trust when it came to this form of communication. He had already felt some barriers between them weaken, but to open himself to her at this point would more than likely be in vain. "We used to feel more comfortable around each other. If we were doing this just a few years ago, you would be smiling and making a corny joke, and I would laugh because back then …"

"Back then?" she prompted.

"Back then I didn't know why I needed to try so hard not to."

She winced, and he could tell that the question was on the tip of her tongue - or rather, her fingers. They just weren't in that place anymore. If they were, then she would push the envelope and ask 'why?' and he would feign ignorance and avoid answering at all costs. Now, he prayed for her to push - he wanted her to demand a reason. He wanted to prove that he could do more and admit to his foolishness.

"But this is who we are now. And my jokes aren't corny, by the way," she signed, over-exaggerating her mock scowl.

Sara's levity warmed him and he couldn't help but to send a teasing smirk her way. However, the moment wasn't enough to distract him from the conversation. "You're right - this is who we are now. That's why I'm sorry."

"You … don't have to apologize. I …" Sara paused, struggling with getting her mind and her hands on the same page. She still fumbled a lot with her phrases, but with her persistence he guessed she'd have no problem communicating with Jason when he returned.

"Take your time with it. You're really doing great." When Sara smiled at the compliment, Grissom had to refrain from clasping his hand over his heart. It had been way too long since she smiled like that for him.

"I could have avoided making things complicated," she continued.

"Why do you do that?"

Her confused look prompted him to expand, even though somewhere in the back of his mind, something was telling him to stop. It was an innocent question, but one that didn't allow for a simple answer.

"You shoulder the blame. For our problems, your problems with Jason."

"I take responsibility." He didn't need to see her face to know that she was angry. The rapid and sharp movements of her signs expressed her temper just fine.

"Away from those who should carry it themselves."

She dropped her hands and turned to face the windshield, opting to speak. "I would have waited forever for you to take responsibility for anything, and your assumptions about my relationship with Jason are way off," she said, her sharp tone even more pronounced, shattering the silent conversation.

"Are they?"

"It's none of your business, Grissom. This part of my life is none of your business." Even though he never had any rights when it came to her, he swore he could feel the 'anymore' that hung at the end of that statement.

"Sara …"

She turned to him then and the regret in her voice was palpable. "Your opinion doesn't matter here."

"I .. okay," he relented, scratching his beard and shaking his head at his folly.

"Listen Griss, it's just that -"

He cut her off with a raised hand and resumed their silent exchange. The sound of actual words being spoken made everything all too real and painful. "Sara, you're right. You're right."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

In reality, it was only two minutes, but Grissom would have sworn a lifetime passed before either of them spoke. He didn't want to make her mad or upset, and he cursed himself for being so adept at it. What he really wanted to do was go home. He was tired. It had been a long week, and the last thing he wanted was to sever what little connection they had left.

It was when her hand squeezed his forearm that he realized he'd closed his eyes.

"So, uh, your mom is deaf. I never knew that."

Not five minutes ago he upset her, and here she was now, trying once again to bridge a gap. He was nothing short of amazed. All he could do was nod. She was right; she never knew until recently that his mom was deaf, and yes, he never told her. It only just occurred to him that information like that would be something a friend would know. A lover. He never opened up about the simplest of things. Well, not that anything about being raised in a deaf community was simple, but she should have known at least that much.

She must have mistaken his lack of response as disinterest and lowered her head with a rueful smile. "Never mind."

"No." He reached out to get her attention and bring her focus back to him. "I mean … I was just thinking about how things could be different if she never lost her hearing."

"About what her life would have been like?" she asked, sliding her left leg under her weight to turn her body more toward his.

"That would be the selfless thing to do, right?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Have you ever thought about how different your life would be if your parents were different people?"

The roll of her eyes and wry grin answered for her, but she replied anyway. "Do I even have to answer that?"

"How would you imagine yourself?"

He watched as she considered the question. It shamed him to even think about it, but he couldn't imagine her any other way. He never wanted her hurt, by physical force, by words or by actions of others, but my, what a beautiful person she became because of her experiences. She was the best person he ever knew and he wondered if she would still be if she grew up in a different household.

"I don't know. I think that I would be the same person but without all the weight of … things, you know?"

"And that's all?" He didn't really want to push, but he had to know - he wanted to know more about her.

"No. I suppose that I would have been able to sustain better relationships with people. Maybe I would have …" She trailed off and shook her head as if to rid herself of the thoughts invading it. For Grissom, it left more questions.

"What?"

"What about you?" She redirected the conversation. "What person do you think you would you have been if your mom hadn't been deaf?"

He knew the answer to this. He'd known it all his life, but it took Sara's breakdown the year before to help him label it.

"Emotionally available."

He wondered if he should have elaborated, but he knew that those words summed up his life perfectly. It applied to his family, his friends, his lovers and Sara, who seemed to fit into a little bit of each category. She had him pegged, but as he sat across from her and looked her in her eyes, he knew that exposing himself to her wasn't a bad thing. He didn't dare name the emotion in her eyes, but he knew it wasn't pity.

"I think you're doing just fine." Her face, the movement of her hands … God, he forgot how beautiful and special signing can be. He knew that this line of thinking was going to set himself up for more heartbreak, but he also knew that she was it for him - he was going to love her whether they were together or not.

The moment was broken by the rumble of her stomach, and neither of them could hold back their amused laughter. Taking out his cellphone, Grissom decided to put an end to the lesson and feed the woman. "If I call the diner right now, our plates should be ready for us right when we pull up."

"I could really go for a vegetarian sub."

He grinned and started dialing the phone. This was quite possibly the lightest his heart had felt since Jason Scott walked into their lives. "Okay, one veggie sub. Tell me how you like it."

TBC...