Yay!!!!!!!!SUPER BETA FRAGONKNIGHT YOUR My HERO!!!!!

Thanks for beta-ing for me (glomps her!) I give you snapie-po to have wild monkey sex with!

Wait a min..ewwwwwwww well at least for me,hmm but you know mabey with a nice hair wash...

Super Beta : MINE ( flys off with snape in arms...accidently hits a billbord on the way)

Andi-chan: o.O...o.k now ...Thanks reviewers now on with the story!!

Very gory, violent, angst, and a nice fluffy love story right in the middle of it. Slash, evil Gryffindors, crazy teachers, and no more warnings. I don't want to give all o it away. Please no flaming (I have an aversion to being flamed). But, if you must then I will laugh at them and give you cookies because you tried.

Chapter 4: Fucked up lives

Harry stormed into Gryffindor tower. Ginny 'eeped' seeing the pure hate flare in his green eyes. She froze in terror when those eyes focused on her. Harry just snarled at the cowering girl and continued on up the stairs. He even ignored Longbottom's scream of surprise. Neville had never seen Harry like this: rumored to be evil or not!

Harry walked into the room he 'shared' with Seamus and began packing his stuff up. He grabbed books and threw them in his trunk. Clothing and his knitted black blanket followed next. He looked around the room and scooped up the rest of his important trinkets: the picture of his parents, his art supplies, and the small assortment of rocks that he had collected and painstakingly identified. After he was sure everything was in the trunk, he slammed it shut and shrunk it to miniature size to fit in his pocket safely.

Walking out of the room, his stuff collected and in his pocket, he turned to his ex-rooms and threw the most powerful locking spell he could manage at the door. He smirked, knowing that no one could break it except maybe Snape and Dumbledore… even then it was going to take them awhile.

Harry felt almost sad walking through the Gryffindor common room for the last time. He was going to miss the tastelessly decorated red hues of the first place he had ever called home. It was no longer home though thanks to Finnegan and Weasley, it had become an unbearable hell-hole and he was glad to be shed of that part of it.

He almost stopped beside Hermione but decided to brush her off too. It would not do for the Gryffindors to gang up on her the way they had him. He continued on down the stairs and out the door. It would be a long afternoon.

Sooner or later the real story behind what Seamus had done was bound to get out. The Slytherins were already making sure that accurate rumors were spreading like wildfire. Any moment now people would become bold enough to ask him about it directly…

As he walked along he began humming softly to himself: a tune that came from his dreams. He was happy to hear his voice again even if it was only soft humming. It comforted him. Then he realized it was the same tune that he used to hum right after Sirius died and his face fell, or what little animation he had acquired disappeared again.

He walked into his DADA class and sat all the way in the back, piling his books into the seat next to him so no one could sit beside him. The other students filed into class looking very sad and solemn.

"Did you hear?" One of the girls started to ask excitedly but shut her mouth when she saw Harry. She glared at him and quickly moved her stuff to an open seat in the front, completely ignoring him.

He sat there listening to the whispers all around him. The only ones who were not whispering were the Slytherins. They managed to look totally bored with the whole thing because they already had all the facts. Harry was curious regarding what everyone was saying and strained as unobtrusively as possible to hear the conversations. Even though he technically knew what they were saying he really wanted confirmation.

Finally, Harry heard the rumor the Gryffindor couple sitting two seats in front of him were exchanging. "Seamus is in hospital. When they took him to Madam Pomphrey he was moaning and crying out in pain because Harry tried to kill him."

The other girl turned around and glared at Harry. He just sat back not really caring what they were saying about him. "Stupid bint!" he thought to himself. "If I really had tried to kill the filthy rapist he would be dead!" He was about to flick her off when the teacher came in.

SSS

Whispers were all around him, in the halls, in the classroom, even when he entered the hall for dinner. But as soon as they spotted him the Hall went silent. He didn't care, he kept telling himself this. Even though he doubted himself at the moment.

He made his way to the unoccupied end of the Gryffindor table. He just looked at them in wonder as those few even close to him made a concerted push to move away from him. Some even stood up to eat their sandwiches after clumping toward the 7th year students in order to get away from him.

This made Harry smile sadistically at the irony of it all. There was a flutter of wings and a School owl landed in front of him, smashing the tuna sandwich that was on his plate. He gently untied the letter from the bird and the owl bustled away. Harry was debating on whether to open it or not. He technically knew what it was about. He also knew who it was from. But right now he did not feel up to handling the stress of it.

He heard one of the girls from the table, he thought it was Lavender, saying, "I hope it is from Dumbledore telling him that he is expelled." She made sure her very loud voice carried to the other tables, causing more than a few people to snicker.

He could not resist that challenge. "You want to know what it says, do you? Well, here you go, you nosy fucking bitch!" His voice had been soft and sweet, just like the old Harry and everyone at the table stopped everything to listen. Harry opened the letter and inside it enclosed:

Harry, my boy, I need you to come to my office after dinner. I owe you an apology regarding our actions and to discuss other issues with you.

A.Dumbledore

Harry looked at the envelope as it started to sing at him and spout out different colored hearts and flowers. The whole thing was just hideously garish and Harry was thoroughly creeped out. He looked up and caught the Headmaster's eye. He lifted his hand up, not all the way up, just enough so that his elbow was still on the table, and then glanced back at the perverse note, before returning his stare to the Headmaster.

Then without taking his eyes away from Dumbledore, he set the note on fire with a nudge of his wandless magic. Pieces of the burning letter drifted up to the teachers table before diappearing altogether. The whole hall remained silent as this happened. Some of the students saw what Harry did and others only wondered why the hall smelt of burning paper.

Face once more emotionless, Harry stood up and grabbed a new sandwich. He walked out of the hall standing tall and as if nothing of consequence had ever happened. He made the Malfoys look like a low commoner with his stature.

SSS

Draco looked on in awe when he saw Harry ignite the letter in front of Dumbledore. "That's my boy! Don't let anyone put you down!" He whispered encouragingly in his head. He didn't dare say it outright and had a horrible time restraining himself from clapping. Instead he turned to his two friends and clapped silently. "Touché!" I might add." The other two nodded their understanding. He grinned and nodded to indicate the rest of the table: some of the Slytherins were looking in the direction Harry had gone in total awe. Potter had a whole new fan club now that he had defied the Headmaster publicly.

SSS

Snape was thinking along the same lines as Draco. "So, the boy has finally decided to grow a backbone!" He looked over at the Headmaster and much to his delight, the old man looked furious. Dumbledore's mouth had settled into a straight line and his eyebrows had furred together.

Snape smirked inwardly. He had been informed by Draco of what was wrong with the Potter brat right after the incident with Finnegan. He maintained his impassive façade in case anyone was looking but inside Snape was doing his happy dance. To his way of thinking, Finnegan had gotten off rather lightly. 'Thinking that he could control anyone with the amount of power Potter possessed was insane!' Even he, Snape, knew that the boy possessed a higher intelligence and stronger magic than what he was letting on.

He did not particularly like Potter but it was always nice to see one of Dumbledore's plans be foiled. It had only been a week ago that Dumbledore had announced in an Order of the Phoenix meeting that Harry was now under control and would be waiting to fight in the war once he was called to do so. Snape's only reaction then had been to snort.

If the boy wasn't in his right mind, he would be guaranteed to lose any encounter against the Dark Lord. All the bumbling old fool had guaranteed was that Potter would fight Voldemort regardless of his mindset.

Snape knew from one look in the child's eyes that he was planning to escape from Hogwarts and never return. The 'Light' had seriously damaged its chances with that bit of foolishness because if he read it correctly, Potter would not be returning to them.

But where would Potter go? "Like I care?" Snape asked himself. He supposed that after dinner he would go for a walk. He would need to tell the Dark Lord about his discovery of Potter's new found hatred. "This will definitely get Voldemort's knickers in a twist."

In truth he believed in Voldemort's cause. Voldemort had had an epiphany after seeing so many of his Death Eaters go down in the dust. Wormtail's death had been a pivotal point Snape felt. With him gone it was possible to slip in ideas that although diametrically opposed to his views, made Voldemort stop and rethink what he was going to do.

And now Snape was double-crossing Dumbledore. He saw the craziness and lust for power in his eyes that he once abhorred in Voldemort's. It was like they had changed bodies. It was all greatly confusing but Snape was a Slytherin and understood these things. He definitely saw Voldemort winning the war instead of the manipulative old coot Dumbledore.

"I always choose the winning side." Snape said to himself while allowing a small sneer to grace his lips. "But, at the same time, I just might have to worry about Potter and whether he wants to become the next Dark Lord. It really would be highly amusing…and terribly delicious!" He thought to himself

SSS

Harry had made his way out to the lake. He had found a comfortable spot and was joined only seconds later by his owl, Hedwig, who cooed softly to him.

"Yes. I am all right." He answered.

She cooed again and bobbed her head.

"No, you don't need to attack the Gryffindors. I can do my own revenge, Mom!" Harry said in a teasing tone. Ever since Harry had acquired his owl he had been able to understand her. He did not 'hear' her with his ears; it was more of a vision in his mind of what she wanted to say. Hedwig had been a motherly figure to Harry from the very first.

Harry smiled gratefully at her for the company once he got comfortable and realized that the lake was cold. The cold air rolling across the lake felt more like October than the middle of September, For the most part he did not care. He was too emotionally numb to worry about minor physical discomforts.

Hedwig settled on his shoulder and allowed him to walk along the sandy stretch. He followed the path around to hide out where he knew no one could find him without looking. He chose a large rock and sat down on it, then brought his knees up to hug them.

Hedwig stepped over to his knees and peered into his face.

"So, where would you like to go?" He asked.

She moved her head to the side. "Away."

"We can go anywhere, any time we want to. I was thinking about grabbing the whole Potter fortune before Dumbledore shuts it down. Then I can go anywhere. All I have to do is take off my glasses 'et voila!' a new Harry! No one will recognize me with the hair tamed,Long and with no glasses."

Hedwig cooed again.

"No, no Potter. I will have to lose the last name. I know my parents are rolling in their graves but it can't be helped." He chuckled softly. His breath hitched when he heard ringing in his ears. It grew and grew until he fell into the vision. It was not a Voldemort vision either, this one was of the future…

SSS

He was walking through the halls of Hogwarts where people were hanging on display. They were screaming but there were silencing spells that covered up their agony. He made his way through the halls knowing his precise destination. He entered a hidden room and looked down to see himself dead at Dumbledore's feet. The man was laughing maniacally and Harry looked around in confusion trying to figure out what was going on. He saw that the room was filled with torturing devices and saw Professor Snape lodged with a spike through his heart. Harry felt the bile rise in his throat. Dumbledore was insane…

Before his head could clear he felt the ringing in his ears once more. He was going into a new vision. This time he was in what looked to be an alleyway somewhere in the suburbs of an English town. He wasn't sure until he recognized the foyer of Sirius' old house at Grimmold Place. He had a feeling of dread about going further but never-the-less did so. The place was once more grungy and unappealing; Harry noted the changes as he walked up the stairs.

He saw a door open and to his surprise he saw a men selected in the light near the frame of the door. He walked up, and looked into the room. He saw himself in the bed. Hair grayed, looking about the age in the late twenties. He was sick and lonely. He could tell because of the look in his eyes. "How did you find me?" The future Harry asked in a raspy voice. Harry thought for a minute that his future self was talking to him. Then he remembered that someone else had been standing in the door.

Harry studied the older man. "Holy crap! That's Draco Malfoy." Harry looked at him, taking in the tall stature, healthy looking skin, but weary demeanor Draco possessed. His once perfect complexion was now marred by a scar that led down his face.

Harry moved closer to the bed where his future self was. Whatever he had been doing for the last ten years certainly had not done him any favors.

"It was not hard to find you once I had time to sit down and think about where you would go." Draco had the same beautiful voice, only slightly deeper with age.

Harry's older self laughed and then began hacking and coughing in the process. "It took you ten years to find me." He finally wheezed between coughs. His smile belied any chastisement that Draco might have felt.

Draco looked down at him for a moment then knelt beside the bed. "there was a war going on. I just wanted to inform you that the supposed 'light' won."

The older Harry smiled softly. "I know. I saw. I feel bad for those muggles though." He added thoughtfully.

"You do realize that you are a selfless bastard!" Draco said in a stern, but light voice.

The older Harry laughed again. "I know. That's why I left in the first place."

Draco just looked at him skeptically before bringing a delicate shaky hand to Harry's forehead.

"You are sweating. What is wrong with you?"

The older Harry laughed again. "I am dying, you fool!"

Draco looked stunned, as did Harry looking at the older version of himself.

"Why are all these paths leading me to painful deaths?" He wondered. "Don't I ever get to grow old and have a family?" He felt silent tears falling to the dirty floor then realized that he was out of Grimmuld Place and back on the rock by the lake.

He felt another ringing just before vision three lifted him out of his body. "Wow! I wonder what depressing garbage I get to see next…" Harry thought before being hurtled into the elevator at the Ministry of Magic Building.

He was looking up at the notes in the elevator waiting, watching the origami notes tiny wings fluttering impatiently. There were two children in the elevator with him. They were hopping up and down and Harry was doing his best to ignore them. He was not sure what to do at first when the sliding doors opened and the children raced out. The tugging feeling in his stomach told him to follow them as they ran down the halls.

They entered an office. Harry's breath hitched when he saw himself at the desk offering chocolate frogs to two little boys. Were they his? He felt a tingle of expectation as he searched their faces for traces of himself.

A woman with long flowing hair entered the room and mock gloweredat him. "Harry, what did I tell you about feeding my children chocolate?"

Harry's face fell. 'So, they are not mine.' He thought. "Miss Dextrel, you know that I love to break the rules." His older self winked at the girl. "Any messages?"

The woman looked at him hotly for a few seconds and Harry found himself squirming slightly. "Your lover says that he wants you in that apron just as soon as you return to the manor!" She purred seductively.

Harry's older self blushed a nice shade of crimson as the woman gathered the two hyper children up and waved jauntily before departing the room.

He just got himself back under control when her head popped back in the room. "OH, yeah, and the Minister would like to see you about the Law 2768 Sect A.34. He feels it is about time to ratify it." His older self nodded and got up to leave his office.

Harry followed himself through the halls. He entered a lavish office decorated in green hues and dark maple wood furniture.

A man swiveled around in his chair. "AH, Harry, have a seat."

The younger Harry gaped. This man had more than a strong passing resemblance to Tom Marvolo Riddle, aka Voldemort. Harry took a good look at the man's eyes. They were bloodshot. No…no…they were actually red in color. Holy Shit! "This is Voldemort! I am working for him. I'm really working for him. Harry felt the ringing again and was pulled back into reality.

A scream ripped from his mouth at the pain he was suffering. Three visions without any recovery time left him feeling sick and disoriented. Hedwig was fluttering around worriedly projecting images trying to ask if he needed help and only making things worse.

It seemed an age before he was capable of standing up again. "Well, I certainly am in for one very fucked up life." He finally managed to mutter sarcastically at the owl.

Hedwig only tilted her head to the side and noted the sadness that the boy was trying to hide.

Harry felt her presence as she asked him to tell her about it.

"My visions were, well…, complicated. But, I guess I don't have any choice except to explain them to you do I, girl? That is if I can, because I don't even know what they meant. Maybe if I go over them all again I can start to figure out what is going to happen."