A/N: (I guess this is an AU, yes) Ok, as much as I was tempted to, I've decided not to make this into a Zell/Selphie, purely because this story is serious and deals with matter very close to my heart. BUT . . . I will write a separate Zell/Selphie fic later for the reviewers who want it.
"I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. . ."
A beam of sunlight had found its way through the shut curtains of the dark room, and slanted its way down towards Selphies face, lighting up the sleeping girls skin.
Her eyes slowly fluttered open. For a moment or two she was confused as to where she was, but then she realised she had slept in Zells bed again last night. After her episode with the cutting, Zell wouldn't let her sleep alone for fear of what she might do.
She shielded her eyes from the ray of sun and looked over at her sleeping friend.
His blonde usually gelled-to-perfection hair was all tousled with odd little curls sticking up here and there. His arm was resting over his face, covering his eyes. Selphie was pretty sure he was asleep by the way he was breathing deep and even, and the way his mouth hung open ever so slightly.
She turned back to face the ceiling. Once she had woken up, then that was it, no going back to the land of nod. Any other day, she would've just gotten up and gone to lessons, but today was her day off, along with most of the people she knew.
Hearing footsteps outside the door, she held in her breath, curious as to who it was and what they were doing. Three short knocks were heard, then silence.
Selphie looked over to Zell. He obviously hadn't heard because he was still sleeping like a baby and hadn't budged an inch.
Drawing the covers up to her neck, she turned onto her side and prodded Zells taut stomach with her index finger.
He let out a little groan and rolled over. Selphie poked him again harder, making him jump a bit.
Zell looked over at Selphie with tired half-open eyes stretched his joints and mumbled, almost incoherently, ". . . uaah . . . . Sef. . . Wha ya . . . doin'?"
"There's someone at your door."
Zell yawned and, lifting his head off the pillow, glanced over at the door.
"Well . . . they can go away. I'm not gettin' up!"
Selphie tutted at his laziness and poked him again.
"Ow! Selphie . . . Fine! I'll go see."
Zell sat up, pulling the covers slightly off of Selphie, and sending a cold breeze into the bed. Sliding over her, he went to the door and opened it.
Whoever was there had gone, but they had left a letter with his name scrawled roughly over it in black ink, pinned to his door.
"Huh."
He turned the letter over in his calloused hands and opened it up.
Dear Zell,
Knocked but got no answer. Just thought I'd mention we're all going out tonight to the - - nightclub in Dollet at 7:00pm. Be there. Got no answer from Selphie's room either, so invite her, okay? See you tonight!!
Rinoa xx
Selphie sat up, pulling Zell's blue duvet with her, determined not to let out any of the warmth.
"What's that all about?"
Zell ran a hand roughly through his hair and answered, "Oh, it was Rinoa. We're goin to that nightclub in Dollet tonight apparently. You game?"
Selphie flopped back down into the mattress. Quieting her voice a little, she asked with saddened eyes, "Will Irvy be there?"
". . . Dunno. Maybe. He's been an ass to you, though, why do you care if he'll be there or not?"
Selphie didn't answer, but tucked her head under the covers so he couldn't quiz her.
"Uh, didn't mean to upset you, Sef."
His voice came across to her as being slightly muffled, but she still understood.
"Lemme under will ya, it's cold out here."
Zell pulled aside Selphies sheet, uncovering her.
"Hey! That's my half!"
Zell climbed over her, ignoring her squealing complaints.
"Hey back! This is my bed; I get most of the sheet and I get to do what I want in it."
Selphie got a few disturbing images but soon shook them out of her head.
The blonde yanked the sheet away from her, leaving her exposed to the fresh chill of the early morning.
"Zell! You're mean!"
Zell turned over and faced her with a huge grin. "Ha. Okay, I'm sorry, here ya go."
He pushed half the sheet over towards her. She took it and snuggled it up to her chin again.
"So, are we goin' tonight then?"
Selphies heart leapt at the thought of seeing Irvine again and imagined up various scenarios in which he would take her in his arms and tell her it was her he wanted all along.
She snapped out of it when Zell yanked a piece of her hair.
"Well?"
"Oh, erm, well I suppose we will."
Zell smiled and tickled her tummy the way he used to when they were playing games in the orphanage.
"Just make sure ya dress drop dead gorgeous."
Later on that day . . .
Selphie had decided to take Zells advice, and had gone shopping with Rinoa.
"Ooh Selphie! This one would look great on you!"
After much searching through a clothes rail for her size, she pulled out a black chiffon mini dress, with small spaghetti straps that criss-crossed over the back.
Selphie walked over to her.
"Um, I don't know Rin. It looks a bit . . . tight."
Rinoa smirked, "Exactly! You want guys to be looking don't you?"
'I want Irvine to be looking . . .'
"I guess."
"Well then, go try it on! I'll even buy it for you."
Selphie smiled at her rich friend.
"You really don't have to."
"I want to! I'm gonna buy you anything that makes you look dazzling! Quit stalling, go try it on already!"
As she was in the changing room, Rinoa wondered around the store, looking for more things to thrust at her friend.
Once Selphie had the dress on, she came out and called to Rinoa, who rushed over immediately.
"One word. Wow!"
Selphie turned around and stared at herself in the full length mirror, fingering one of the straps. For a moment, she wondered who the stranger was staring back at her.
'I do look nice, I s'pose. But those damn bandages. People are gonna ask questions.'
"Come on Sef, I'm so buying it for you."
After trudging through more shops looking for shoes, Rinoa finally admitted she needed to sit down, and dragged Selphie into a coffee shop.
"So, what's the big idea about tonight?"
Rinoa looked up at Selphie, pulling her mouth away from the straw of her chocolate milkshake.
"I just thought everyone needed to wind down a bit. It's been so long since we all went out to have a good time and everyone's been so distant with me and Squall."
Selphie fiddled with a piece of hazelnut coloured hair and replied, "That's because you and Squall are so . . ."
"So . . ."
"I don't know. Loved up I s'pose. We didn't want to interrupt."
Rinoa laughed and took hold of her friends hand. "Loved up? Nooo, we just like each other."
'Yeah, like me and Irvy used to.'
As if reading her mind, Rinoa flicked her hair behind her neck and quizzed, "So . . . I don't see Irvine with you as much anymore. What happened?"
Selphie sighed and hung her head down to rest on her hands.
"I guess . . . he just found other girls. Is he coming tonight?"
"Yes, but I told him not to bring those bimbo's. They've never done anything to me, but I know that they don't like you and vice versa."
"Maybe he'll actually attempt to talk to me tonight," Selphie said more to herself than her black haired friend.
"Or maybe you'll find another guy to obsess over."
'Obsess? Am I really that bad? Sigh I couldn't ever find anyone that matched Irvine. He's perfect. I wouldn't want to either. I only want him.'
Tonight . . .
Selphie had gone out with the group feeling rather happy and hopeful, but now, she felt lonely and sad watching her friends have fun around her.
Ordering another drink, she scanned the people in the neon lit club. She recognised a few of them from her battle skills class. And there was Zell, in the corner making out with that library pigtailed girl.
'Cute. Get a room.'
She noticed Rinoa dancing; Squall was no-where to be seen.
Selphie let out a sigh.
'Like hell Irvine's here. Rinoa must've been lying. Either that or he's too busy with his Barbie dolls. I got dressed up all for nothing.'
Although Selphie had received a lot of compliments from friends and guys she didn't know, she didn't really take it to heart.
Most of the people around her were roaring with laughter and getting drunk. Rinoa and Zell were already drunk, and even Selphie was heading that way if all she kept doing was downing shots.
At that moment, the spiky haired fighter bounced on over to her.
"Sefie! Come on, get up an' dance with us!"
"Thanks, but I really don't- Zell!"
Before she could refuse, Zell had grabbed her wrist in a familiar action and dragged her out to where Rinoa was having fun.
"Heeeeey Selphie!"
Rinoa took hold of her friends hand and twirled her round, as if Selphie wasn't dizzy enough from drinking.
"Hey, where's Squall?"
Rinoa clutched her arms round Selphies waist and looked up at her giggling, "Oh, he went outside to meet Irvine."
Selphie suddenly got nervous and tried to back away to hide before Irvine showed up.
Rinoa wouldn't let go of her waist though and was making it extremely hard to make a quick get-a-way. As if that wasn't bad enough, when she finally shook Rinoa off, she bumped straight into Zell and almost fell over.
'Nice one Selphie' she thought to herself.
The drunken blonde shouted happily, "Hey, where you goin'? No-where!"
He picked her up and swung her over his shoulder, carrying her across the floor.
'Oh! Now he's definitely gonna see me!'
"Damn you Zell!" Selphie kicked around, paranoid that people could see up her dress. She happened to be facing the entrance and at that moment saw Squall walk in and look around with Irvine, probably scoping for Rinoa. Selphie jumped down and out of Zells grasp before he saw and ran into the dimly lit corner table, sitting down and running her fingers through her hair.
'Why are you running away? I thought you wanted to see him? I do, I just need to prepare myself I suppose.' Whilst Selphies conscience was waging war in her head, Zell stumbled past to go to the toilet.
Once inside, he noticed Irvine was also in there, checking himself out in the mirror.
"Oh, hi Zell, I was just-,"
"Man, I know how vain you are, you don't havta lie."
Irvine chuckled. "How've you been anyway? I haven't seen a lot of you guys."
Zell hopped up onto the side where the sinks were situated. He was now face to face with his friend.
"Yeah well hic you been busy with what's-er-face. That bimbo tart and her gang."
"No need to be cruel. They have a lot to offer."
"Really? Like what? Like bullying Selphie?"
Irvine could see that Zell was getting irritated and knew not to provoke him. He was small but he could do one hell of a lot of damage to a human face.
"Zell, you're drunk. Come on, let's go outside."
"NO. I wanna talk about this. Why did you just throw Selphie to the curb?"
Irvine rolled his eyes and made an attempt to walk out. Zell pushed him back.
"Man, I don't wanna fight ya, but I need answers. Wasn't she good enough? Or is it the fact that she's not as easy as Celia?"
"Piss off Zell."
"She's really upset over you and you're acting like you don't care. Come on man, I know you! You can't just let go of a girl that easy."
"No, Zell, you don't know me, so don't even try to get inside my head. If you're so hot on her, then I'm not stopping you."
"Wha?! It's nothin' like that! You know those bandages on her arm? She did that to herself, because of you."
Irvines heart dropped. He never thought his Selphie would do anything so stupid.
"You what?"
"She took a razor to herself because of you and your 'posse'. Did you know they beat her unconscious, Irvine?"
Irvine suddenly felt extremely guilty for how he'd been acting, and was angry with Celia.
"I never expected Celia to do something like that."
"Well then you obviously don't know Celia," Zell snarled.
"Look, Zell, I know Selphies your best friend, but you've really got to let me live my own life and make my own choices on who i want to be with."
Zell hopped down off the side and brushed off his pants.
"Well, you're making the wrong choice if you pick that blonde air-head."
Irvine shot Zell a withering look and said, "Look, we'll talk about his later."
"Damn right we will . . . Irvy."
Irvine ignored him and walked out of the rest room, feeling more than a little guilty.
A/N: This chapter isn't my best. I wrote half of it late at night and now my Bro's back from uni, so i found it hard to write with him bursting in every few minutes. Just thought i'd tell you's all. BYe!