Chapter 8: Pain
Hermione just sat beside Draco's dead body while she continued weeping for him. Suddenly, Draco opened his eyes and he said, "What the hell is the matter with you Granger?"
"What? Malfoy? You're alive? But how? You died in the war."
"Of course I'm alive. What war? The war has began! We better go out and fight."
"Calm down. The war has passed."
"Oh okay."
"Then why were you crying? You were crying for me weren't you?" Draco said and he finished his line with his traditional smirk.
"Why would I tell you? Why would I cry for a ferret like you?"
After that, Hermione ran and she went to the dormitory. It pained her to insult her love. It also pained her that he didn't remember anything. Her heart was broken. She was happy that he was alive but there was no use. She wanted him to be alive so that she can stay in his arms and simply be with him. But this was impossible since he didn't remember a single thing about them.
She found the book, the one where Draco found the potion that she made. It said, if it was a little bit late and the soul of the dead one is really fighting, then there is a 50-50 chance that person will live.
It had answered her question but it didn't silence the yearning of her heart.
There was really nothing she could do.
Draco would never be hers again. He'd never feel that way about her anymore.
She tried forgetting but it didn't help. Everything seemed to remind her of everything that had happened the past months.
Each time she saw him in the library or the Great Hall or anywhere, she would feel her eyes start to water but she didn't let her tears fall. She wanted to remain strong. She loved him so much that it actually hurt.
There was once, she was sitting by the lake while crying, then when she looked at her reflection in the water, she saw her and Draco together staring deeply into each other's eyes. This made her cry more.
When people asked her if she was okay, she'd always say she was fine but the truth was that she was the total opposite.
No one had asked or told Draco about what he had with Hermione because they knew he wouldn't believe. But some didn't tell him because they knew it was better this way.
Hermione tried to keep the pain to herself.
"Hermione, are you okay?" Ron asked her one day when she was staring into space while eating dinner.
"Yeah. I'm fine. Don't worry about me."
"But you don't seem fine." Harry had commented.
"I am. I'm just… I don't know."
"Okay. But if you ever need to talk to someone, you know we're here for you." Ron said
"I know that."
She made up an excuse that she felt tired and she didn't feel like eating and she left the table. She went back to her dorm and she tried to sleep. Instead of sleeping, she just cried silently but she wiped the tears when her roommates had entered the room.
In the middle of the night, she went down to the Common Room cause she didn't want to wake her roommates up.
She sat down on the couch, conjured a glass of water and drank it. She placed her knees near her face and she hugged her legs with her arms. She placed her chin on her knees while tears came rolling down her cheeks.
Harry couldn't sleep that night so he went down. He saw Hermione crying so he silently sat down beside her. "Hermione, I know something's wrong. Tell me"
"I miss Draco so much and I still love him and even though he's alive, it's useless because he doesn't remember a thing. And if I try starting things again, I know he wouldn't feel the same way again. He's back to his old self. The side of him which I hate. But I still love him so much that it hurts so much when I see him."
Harry couldn't say anything so he gave Hermione a comforting hug. Hermione took the hug and she cried on his shoulder. Harry was saying things like it's okay, you'll find someone new or something great will happen soon.
The problem was that Hermione loved Draco so much and she didn't want to find someone new anymore. She knew she couldn't love another person. She could only love one person. Draco. He was her first love and he was her last lover.