A/N: Heres the next chapt. I had a free day off from college so had time to write. I will probably be updating again aroudn friday night. Thanks for reviewing and encouraging me!

Warning: Has bullying and graphic self harm (in case that kind of stuff sickens you, i though i'd better add a warning)

"Ah what despair, what hatred she felt. She needed this man for her salvation, he was all she had to live for, and yet she could not believe him. She needed him in order to live, but he was not worth her dying. She promised herself this: When she got home, when she was alone, she would draw the razor more deeply across her arm."

The morning was hot and stuffy when Selphie woke up and she somewhat regretted having to put on her drab SeeD uniform and go to lessons. She'd much rather wear her yellow sundress, find a nice patch of green grass and stare at the pale blue sky until the day was out.

What had happened last night seemed a distant memory to her and as if it was someone else's, not hers. To her, it hadn't seemed real.

'Zell did throw a punch at Irvine . . . didn't he?' Selphie thought to herself as she walked slowly down the hall to classroom 2F.

Irvine came down sauntering down in the opposite direction, confirming her doubts about last night. He appeared to have a plaster across his nose, along with a lot of bruising.

Selphie wasn't sure of what to do and felt panic arising.

'Ahh, what do I do, what do I do? Should I say hi to him? Oh, help meee!'

She noticed that he was alone . . . for once, and feeling a sudden surge of courage and forgiveness, she stopped and asked how his nose was.

"Oh, hi Sef. It hurts. Didn't know Zell had such a mean fist on him."

Selphie shuffled awkwardly on her feet.

"Um, he didn't mean to hit you. Don't be mad at him. He really regrets it."

Irvine lifted his hat brim up and placed his violet eyes on Selphies forest green orbs.

"Well, we all do stuff we regret . . ."

Selphie went to say something but before she could get any words out, Irvine had pulled his hat brim back down to shadow his eyes and walked off down the hall.

Selphie stood in the hall wondering what to think of what was said, until she realised class had started 5 minutes ago, and Instructor Aki was not one to take tardiness lightly.

The lesson on advanced battle techniques passed pretty quickly that morning, which probably had something to do with Zell sitting next to her and chatting about aimless points and aspects of life.

"Wanna go grab lunch, Selph? I'm starving!"

"Zell, it's only just gone half twelve."

"But I'm hungry! And if we don't go now, they'll run out of hotdogs."

Selphie smiled at her friends love of food.

"Okay, I'll come with. I need to talk to you anyway."

As they entered the cafeteria, Selphie spotted Squall sitting at a table alone, flicking through some sort of gunblade magazine.

"Hi Squall, where's Rinoa?" she asked, genuinely interested as to where her female companion was.

Squall looked up from his reading and answered, "She's hung over from last night, so I made her stay in bed."

"Oh."

Pulling out a chair, Selphie found herself preoccupied with scanning the room for Irvine.

Zell strided in front of her gaze and offered her some of whatever he had on his plate (probably hotdogs)

"Get out of my way Zell!"

Squall was once again distracted from his reading and looked at Selphie, noticing the irritation in her voice. He then looked to Zell, who had sat down beside him, and gave him a look as if to say 'what's-up-with-her'.

Irvine wasn't to be found anywhere in the vicinity of the cafeteria, but Celia and her friends were.

Selphie had accidentally held their menacing gaze for far too long, and she knew this could only result in trouble for her later. At the moment, she was safe. They wouldn't dare try anything with Squall and Zell sitting with her. It was then that she was grateful for her friend's company and apologised to Zell for snapping at him.

Selphie smoothed her hair down and said, "Zell, can we go somewhere to talk?"

Getting the hint, Squall got up and murmured something about going to check up on Rinoa.

Zell waved his friend good bye as he was sticking each of his fingers in his mouth, licking off the remnants of hotdog which could be found there.

"So, you okay Sef?"

"Yeah . . . well . . . kinda . . . actually no."

Zell pushed his empty white plate to the side, and rested his strong tanned arms atop the table.

"Well, I'm listenin'"

He knew what it was bothering the young girl, but he waited for her to tell him.

Selphie hesitated, "Its . . . well, nothing really. . ."

Zell looked into her green eyes and hoisted up one of his eyebrows.

"Uh, okay. It's Irvine . . . what I am supposed to do?"

"About what exactly?"

"About him! I can't just leave it alone. I've told you before, don't you listen Zell?"

She knew full well that he was a good listener and always lent an ear to her problems.

"Yeah. I know how you feel 'bout him Selphie, but I know he's hurt you, and he'll do it again and again and again if you let him."

This wasn't what Selphie wanted to hear and it shattered the false illusion she had created around herself that morning.

"What would you know, Zell?? You only ever think with your fists and your dick!"

Zell frowned and laughed a bit.

"Selphie, calm down! The only reason I hit Irvine last night was because I was semi drunk and he'd made you cry. And the dick thinkin' part, well I'm a guy, and plus I don't think with it around you."

Once again, Zell had said something the way he didn't intend for it to sound.

Selphie gave him a dirty look and got up, swinging her bag onto her back rather violently.

"I'm that ugly and repulsive am I?? Maybe Celia and her lot were right. Huh, I should start listening to them more, at least that way; the truth won't be such a let down!"

Zell sighed and banged his head down onto the table as Selphie once again had run off on the verge of tears, thanks to his blundering.

Selphie aimed to go straight to her dorm room but ran straight into Celia, Nichi and Amber, literally.

She rebounded off her enemy and onto the hard floor, making her tail bone explode with pain; still, she got straight back up, determined not to let Celia see it.

"Clumsy bitch! Watch where you're going!"

Nichi and Amber joined in, "Yeah, stupid cow, don't touch us, we'll get your weirdo germs."

"Eeew, wouldn't want that to happen, Irvine would never let us near his dick again!"

Celia smirked and moved towards Selphie until she was inches from her face.

"Where's your little protector now, huh? No one gives two shits about you Selphie Tilmitt; they wouldn't care if you threw yourself in front of a train or slit your wrists. Everyone would be glad that you tore your ugly face out of this universe, even Zell, and especially Irvine. In fact he told us that he wished you were dead because all you do is cause him trouble."

Celia leaned back from Selphies face. Amber and Nichi were laughing and looking at her with daggers in their eyes.

Their taunting had become commonplace for Selphie, but it never got any less painful, and due to her depressive state of mind, she would always believe what they said.

She was crying silent tears as Nichi stuck her foot out behind Selphies and pushed her back so she tripped up and fell onto the floor again.

They all laughed and pointed at her.

"Sweet dreams, Selphie." This came from Celia who was staring down at her with nothing but hate in her ocean blue eyes.

As the group walked away down the hall, she could hear them imitating her crying and laughing.

A small voice in Selphies head told her not to listen to them and to get up and be strong, but the echoing laughs and words had gotten right into her mind and heart, burning a hole of pain and sadness there.

Getting up, she ran straight to her dorm and locked herself in, throwing her heavy bag onto her bed.

Leaning up against the cool oak of the door, the tears flooding down her face, she began to think about the cruelty of what had been said.

'Why do they do this to me? Can't they just leave me alone? I know I'm ugly and I know I'm a freak and I know I'd be better off dead, but I don't need them to tell me.'

Selphie sunk down to the floor and rested her head on her bent knees.

'No-one cares. Zell doesn't care. They're right. I'm a burden to everyone.'

She found herself crawling across the floor and into the bathroom, where she rummaged inside the cabinet, bringing out a large clean razor. Selphie crawled back into her room and leant up against her bed, bringing her knees up to her chest in a familiar fashion.

Selphie un-wrapped the bandage from around her left upper arm slowly and carefully.

Some of the tiny fabric strands had gotten stuck to her previous cuts and were pulling on them. She clenched her teeth and quickly ripped the bandage off. This action caused one of the much larger cuts to open up again and trickle its scarlet liquid down her arm.

Finding a patch of skin near the underside of her arm, she pressed the cool metal blade into her skin and slashed it across her arm, as if it wasn't anything to think twice about doing. Selphie winced a little, but found the sight of the ruby gash in her pale arm somewhat alluring. She was still sobbing, but not with so much vigour, although she still hurt for all she was worth inside.

Selphie heard Celia's words so loud in her head that she could've been standing right next to her.

'. . . They wouldn't care if you threw yourself in front of a train or slit your wrists . . . Everyone would be glad that you tore your ugly face out of this universe . . .'

Lifting her wrist up closer to her face, Selphie stared, lost in time, at the tender blue veins along the inside of her wrist; fragile twigs trapped under ice.

For once in her life, she decided not to think, but to just do, because at the time, to her it seemed right.

She rested the blade length-ways across her wrist and dragged it up, pushing in harder and deeper than she had ever done before . . .