Kate rushed onto the shaded sand of the beach, having met the quiet and tranquil atmosphere with reckless abandonment, not taking the time to make her presence known to anyone but the person she was looking for, who wasn't on the beach at all. She turned and her eyes watched as he approached from further down the shoreline, carrying a bundle of bananas over his shoulder, watching the waves as they crashed into the shore. He looked as peaceful as he could possibly look, and she hated to disturb that, but she had no choice. He was the only one she trusted to tell this information. She sighed her relief, as she began to move towards him.
She did regret that this wasn't a social visit, that she didn't have the time to check in on Claire and Aaron, and Sun, who must be showing by now, ever so slightly, but there would be time for that once she found Jack. She had to find him.
Kate ran up to him, catching him off guard with her unexpected, almost-magical presence. "Sayid, I need to talk to you."
Sayid dropped his cargo to the ground immediately, reading the panic in her face upon impact and readying himself to spring into action. "Kate, what's wrong? What happened?"
"It's Jack." Kate said, her breathing still erratic, her appearance sweaty and literally dragging if not for the excitement that shone in her eyes with those two words. "He's back on the Island."
Sayid simply watched her, speechless. "What? Where did you see him?"
"I didn't exactly…" she stalled, looking down, then back up again, waiting for the doubt to form in his eyes, "see him."
"Then, how can you possibly know that—?" Sayid started.
"It's the cabin." Kate interrupted. "I found it again, and that's where I've been staying this entire time."
"So, the cabin told you that Jack is on the Island?" Sayid said, his tone dripping with disbelief and sarcasm. She shot him a scathing look, one he recognized, one he never wanted directed his way again.
"The last time I saw you, I had no idea why it was more necessary than breathing for me to be there, but now I do. I know why I've felt this draw to it. It's Jack. I'm positive."
"How is that possible?" Sayid asked.
"I don't know. How is anything that's ever happened since we've crashed here, possible?" Kate stressed, watching the defeat in Sayid's face. He couldn't fight her logic there.
"The first time I found the cabin, something—", she cut herself short, correcting her thought, "someone whispered my name." Sayid's eyebrows shot up, trying his best to keep up with the ball of adrenaline standing in front of him. The realms of what were possible and what was impossible were blurring together the more Kate spoke.
"The voice, it sounded so familiar, but I was too scared to realize it then, too confused, too wrapped up in how any of it was possible, but now, there's this… clarity, this energy and it just exploded all around me, and all I know is that it's Jack. He's in trouble, and I need your help."
Sayid bent his arm, bringing his hand to his chin, scratching there, while his other arm was wrapped around his torso, in a classic thinking stance, focused on the fact that she was certain that Jack was in danger and thinking through how that could be. The only way he could get anywhere was to pick her brain.
"What kind of trouble? Has someone taken him?"
"I don't know." Kate paced in front of him, her hands on her hips. She turned, her eyes bright with an idea. "Maybe Ben has him again. Maybe he spotted him and locked him up somewhere."
"The last time we saw Jack and Ben together, they were shaking hands, Kate. I doubt that he's the one putting him in danger." Sayid reasoned.
"We don't know that." She shot back. "You still doubt that Jack has come back at all, I can see it in your eyes, but he has Sayid. I don't know how I know this, how that cabin is even related to Jack at all and how I knew to go there, but it is and I did, and that means something! It has to!"
He could see her frustration boiling, the helplessness that she felt while Jack was out there, alone and having no idea how to proceed, how to find him. This was different from when she ran after him the last time, with her ponytail tied tight, her rifle full of bullets, not even taking the time to eat anything of substance before she was stomping through the high grass and the unforseen dangers that awaited her. She knew exactly where to go, who to blame and there was no time to waste. Now, there was nothing to go on but a gut feeling wrapped in the craziness of what she had experienced in that cabin. It was all she had to go on.
Sayid could see that she was about to lose it, rubbing at her forehead with twitchy fingers. He reached out, cupped her shoulders, tried to douse the panic attack that he was sure was brewing. "Kate—"
"Sayid, if I was ever your friend, if Jack was ever your friend and if getting off of this Island means anything to you, you'll help me."
The fire in her eyes was stubborn; no easy, light shower could extinguish it. She was ready to do battle, but this time, she knew she couldn't brave it alone. This time, unlike the last, she was asking for his help, begging, something that Kate never did unless it was about something she cared very deeply about. What feelings had she ever had that ran deeper than those for Jack?
"Please." She stressed, her emotions on the edge, teetering. Sayid was about to speak when the Tennessee drawl, belonging to the one and only, could be heard close by, as snarky and pointed as ever.
"Well, well, well, look who decided to come back after all."
"Not now, Sawyer. Please." Sayid pleaded with him, looking down at Kate, who rolled her eyes at the sound of his voice coming from behind her, wiping at her tears, too proud for Sawyer to see them.
Sawyer stepped forward, ignoring Sayid's warning, inches away from Kate now, who still stood with her back to him, her hands wiping under her eyes in the classic sign that tears were being brushed away. His first instinct was to question her about the tears, but he wasn't in a generous mood, especially after she dismissed him the last time he tried to help her. He wasn't here to help, he was just bored really, Kate his easy target for the time being.
Sawyer looked from Kate to Sayid, his head cocked to the side stubbornly. "Oh, I'm sorry, am I interruptin' somethin'?"
"Aren't you always?" Kate bristled as she turned to face him.
Sawyer brought a hand to his chest in mock surprise at her attitude. "Ooh, testy. Something happen back there in that humble abode of yours?" He asked. Kate and Sayid exchanged side glances that spoke to the moment Sawyer knew damn well he had interrupted.
"Ah, I guess it's a secret. One I ain't unwillin' to figure out."
"Jack's back." Kate said in a matter of fact tone, crossing her arms over her chest in a defensive pose. She could see the slip from steely bravado in his eyes, to shock, but he shooed it away, countering swiftly.
"Oh, is he now?" Sawyer challenged her. "Well, is he invisible or just shy?" He laughed, looking around for him, sarcastically of course. "Where the hell is he?"
Kate and Sayid shared another glance, and then looked back at Sawyer, who was pretty sure the news that Jack was back wasn't the most interesting bit of information.
"You don't know, do you?" Sawyer asked, glee dancing in his eyes. "How is that possible? Maybe it's all in your head Freckles, just like the very idea that he was ever comin' back at all."
Amid Sawyer's taunting, Kate noticed that Sayid's eyes were fixated in the distance, shaded with curiosity and surprise. She followed his eyes and watched as a woman walked toward the beach, a pack over her shoulder, her long, blonde ponytail caught in the wind. She recognized her from the cages. She was the other doctor, Jack's friend, the one who worked for Ben. She was the one who killed Pickett and helped her and Sawyer escape, and more importantly, she had left the Island with Jack, Ben had informed her, all too smugly in fact.
What did he say her name was again?
Juliet.
"Who is that?" Sayid asked, recognizing the looks of recognition on Sawyer and Kate's faces.
"She's one of them, an Other. What the hell is she doing here?" Sawyer asked, his voice losing its biting edge and taking on a more outraged tone. Kate, her heart rising into her throat, was off, approaching her like a bullet.
"Where is he, Juliet?" She asked, her voice shaken, trembling. She knew that the only reason Juliet would come here was if she had news about Jack. It was the only way she'd risk facing people she knew wouldn't trust her.
Juliet stumbled, not able to form words, which left Kate reeling with panic. She looked back at the group that formed over Kate's shoulder, staring on curiously. There were so many people Jack cared for, took care of, Juliet thought as she drank in their faces. She finally caught the face of one in particular, Claire, and her beautiful baby boy, who was wrapped up in a blanket, quiet and still against his mother's chest, having no clue their connection to Jack. She hated to be the one to do this to them, to tell them that he was lost, maybe even dead, and that she had no idea how to find him.
If it were good news she would have said it already, Kate thought, which meant that she was right, Jack was in trouble, serious trouble.
"Where is he?" Kate screamed, her patience snapping.
Juliet shook her head before she confessed with devastated eyes, "I don't know."
Raindrops sprinkled over the darkened jungle, the rhythmic tap of its shower painted the silence with a kind of peace. A tranquil verve that had been broken with the lightning race above, thunder reverberating through the leaves and the mountains, awakening the turbulent nature of this place, like a sleeping giant brought back to life.
Jack lay in the middle of all of it, his consciousness lost, his clothes soaked, clinging to his limp body. Suddenly, he stirred, opening his eyes to the downpour. Desperate to breathe, but finding that his lungs wouldn't inflate with air, he coughed, lightly at first, and then loudly and repeatedly, coming up from the ground slightly while he did so. Once he felt like his rib cage wasn't being crushed under a steel beam, his head fell back into the grass, his body growing flaccid again. Breathing was still a chore, but not as much as it had been before.
He was dizzy, his stomach twisted into a pretzel, the desire to vomit evident and pushing, but he breathed through it. He squinted against the torrent and could only make out the faint outline of trees, and the sky, the black clouds and the pop of lightning that brought that tiny hint of luminance necessary to make out those tiny details. It was so dark; he could barely see the tip of his own nose. He pushed himself upright, and looked around into his shadowy atmosphere and gulped.
He was in the middle of the jungle, the throes of the rainstorm, strong and merciless.
He had disappeared again, he realized, first from the plane, and now from wherever he had finally come face to face with Jacob. He started to remember things from before, things that Jacob told him, about his role on the Island and how his time was running out, and how he had chosen him to take his place. He remembered the information about the Smoke Monster, how out of control and the creature had become over time, with Jacob its regretful creator. There was something that he was rushing off to do, something he needed to get it before he plummeted into darkness, nothingness, only to wake up here. It suddenly came to him again, what he needed to do but now he couldn't, because while he was still on the Island, he didn't know when he was on the Island.
Whatever was happening to him, it wouldn't stop happening, not even long enough for him to save everyone.
Was Jacob doing this? He wondered. Was he somehow controlling when he came and went? Why else would this be happening? If Jacob had the power to heal, he could have the ability to cause this too, right?
With all these lingering thoughts clouding his brain, rage built inside of him. This was all Jacob's fault, he decided. None of this would be happening to him, or to the people he cared about, if it wasn't for that man. He wanted to spite him, to say to hell with this Island and everything about it, just to make him pay for what he was putting him through. He rose onto wobbly legs, immediately noticing that he wasn't as weak as he was the last time. He wasn't hurt, just a little banged up, but he was so angry that the pain of it felt like a drop in the ocean. He took a few feeble steps forward, almost slipping in the mud, his voice like the howl of a wild, wounded animal.
"Jacob!" Jack screamed at the empty breadth of the wet, dark jungle, his voice hoarse, his fury at what was happening making him crazy. He coughed up more water from his lungs, wondering just how long he'd been lying here, how long this would happen to him before he gave into the hopelessness of it.
"Jacob!" His voice trailed back to him in a vacant echo.
There was no one out there. He was all alone this time, and that fact, was scarier than any destiny he had been running from. The rain fell loud enough to drain out the loneliness, thunder rumbling through the leaves, clouds overhead becoming darker somehow. Oddly enough, he didn't feel cold, the soaked clinch of his clothes and the cold chill didn't cause discomfort. He felt something sticking out of his pocket and reached to retrieve it. His eyes widened at its presence, and then his forehead crinkled in confusion.
His father's letter.
He didn't remember sticking it in his pocket on the plane, but he didn't remember putting it down either. There was so much going on, the turbulence, Frank, the storm. He could barely remember a thought besides praying for their safety. It was the only thing that he had left from before vanishing from the cockpit, meeting Jacob, before all of it. It was the only thing he could actually feel. The texture of the paper between his fingertips, the emotions he could literally sense his father putting into every word. There was still so much unsettled there, so much he still needed to say, but he couldn't sit down and write a letter and hope that it would get to his father somehow, in some way, because he was gone. His chance was gone.
The sounds of something close by cut through his thoughts, but he wasn't sure what to make of it. He focused his hearing, while he folded the letter and placed it back into his pocket. Seconds later, he caught the sound of crashing waves, the smell of the sea water wafting by him. There was a shore in the distance, a beach. The torrential winds that followed proved his point as more waves could be discerned.
Driven by this clue, he ran through the trees in a hot pursuit. The thunder clapped louder overhead, but it only heightened his motivation. The sound became more prominent the faster he ran and the storm followed, rain falling from the sky at a quickened pace, his line of sight drenching under the weighty spray of it. The line of trees had suddenly ended, and the sight that greeted him stopped him in his tracks.
Utter chaos wreaked its havoc. The sea was waving well above the shoreline, uncontrolled, climbing towards the storm above, as if Poseidon had raised the waters himself in a blood-thirsty wrath against Earth. The beach was like a gravitating vortex, powerful in its grip, sucking the sand into the winds. He saw something in the distance, but couldn't make it out. A wave fell from its climax, ricocheting with the sand and causing the ground to quake. He held to the tree nearby, but knew that it wouldn't be enough, but he couldn't move, his eyes fixed on the mystery object in the waters, deep and far, but growing closer.
Was that a ship? He asked himself. It was closer to the beach now, the waves picking it up and propelling it forward. He could see the outline of sails, wide and flapping. The bow looked like it pointed to the sky only to crash downward causing the water to accommodate the drop by spreading out, causing more of it to hit the beach expanding what was left of the sand. Its momentum has quadrupled by then, intensifying its draw towards the Island. He watched its path with reckless infatuation, until something embedded within the haze of rain and darkened fog caught his eyes, the outline of something larger than life drawing all of his attention. The outline was filled by stone, carved into epic proportions too massive to miss.
A statue.
It sat within the hub of the storm, towering high and mighty, so high that he had to bend pretty far to see the top. He'd seen it before. He scanned through his clouded memory banks, trying to find some piece, some clue, something, anything that would place this all-too familiar effigy. Realization set in on a muddled recollection. It was the statue he'd seen when he woke up on the beach, this beach apparently, in grave pain. It was the last thing he remembered capturing his attention before he passed out. Jacob said that he'd found him that way, unconscious, bleeding, dying, and that he'd carried him to where he was when he woke up next, but there was no way he could have carried him very far. The man could heal and do whatever else he hadn't told him, but he doubted that super-strength was in his armory of powers. He didn't look like he had help either. The man was eternally alone. He didn't know why he was so sure of this, but he was.
That could only mean one thing. This statue, the bed below its feet, was where Jacob lived.
In that very instant, the ship crashed smack dab into the object of his eye, splintering it into pieces in a loud, explosive collision. Jack watched in petrified horror, his attention taken away from the water steadily moving closer, rolling under the ship's belly, coming straight for him, but when the thought to run shook him out of his astonishment, it was too late.
The ship's unstoppable plunge into the jungle took him with it, the colossal waves so fast and so powerful, he had no chance against them.
The group murmured, taking in the shocking news. Kate was beyond herself now, her eyes showing every emotion that passed through her tortured heart, her voice on the very cliff between shock and outrage.
"What do you mean you don't know?"
Juliet braced herself, breathing calmly before she told what happened. "We were flying in, everything was going fine, and then we hit this thunderstorm." She explained, addressing not only Kate, but the entire group.
"The plane….there was just a lot of turbulence. The pilot was knocked out for I don't know how long. Jack was trying to fly us out of harm's way when he…" Juliet rubbed her forehead, a very clear sign of distress. The simple action heightened Kate's already rising pulse.
"When he what?" Kate pressed, breathing through her nose, funneling the air in and out in such a way that attempted to calm the flutters of her pulse. It wasn't helping.
"He disappeared Kate, out of thin air." Juliet admitted, letting her emotions show with this revelation. "I had my back turned for five seconds, then there was this blast of bright violet light and when I turned around, he was gone."
Everyone looked crestfallen, absolutely devastated by the news, but no one more so than Kate, who found it hard to breathe, clearly ready to fall apart now.
"He came back." Sawyer piped up in an amazed tone, garnering everyone's attention. He looked shell-shocked, a bit overwhelmed, never having allowed himself to believe in even the hope of rescue until now. The rest of the group looked just as guilty for ever having doubted Jack, and Kate for that matter, who had told the truth from the start. Sawyer had never shown such a humbled, emotionally bothered, almost touched expression before. It made it more real for everyone else, more devastating and scary.
"How does something like this happen?" Claire asked, obviously devastated, settling a distraught Aaron, who seemed to be taking in the harrowing news as well, even at his fragile age, as he whined and squirmed in his mother's arms. She adjusted him as she continued to question the absurdity of the situation. "How does someone just…vanish?"
"What if he's dead?" Hurley asked worriedly, voicing everyone's worst fear.
"He's not dead." Kate said resolutely, harshly with a timber of vulnerability, but to no one in particular, being pulled out of her devastation by those words. She would not believe that Jack was dead, she wouldn't entertain the thought. He couldn't be. He was out there somewhere. He had to be.
She locked gazes with Sayid, who was finally convinced of what she confessed to him earlier, that Jack was in danger. There was no way to deny it now. Her connection to that cabin, and to Jack, was undeniable. Something stronger than anything he could ever imagine tethered the two of them together. It defied all understanding, but it was real, and had led Kate to know things that were impossible to know unless it was true.
Charlie stepped up to Kate, his eyes somber and full of regret. "You were right Kate, and I didn't believe you. I'm sorry." She patted him on the shoulder, acknowledging his apology with a small, grateful smile. She then turned to the others, steel in her spine.
"It doesn't matter what happened. I don't need apologies; I need everyone to be willing to act. We just need to come together now to find him."
"Where would we even begin to look? This Island isn't exactly small by any margin, and if I recall, there's more than one of them. He could be anywhere. Juliet said he disappeared into thin air, right? He could be on the moon for all we know." Bernard reasoned.
Kate shook her head. "He's here on the Island."
"How do you know that, Kate?" Rose asked.
"I just know, Rose. Call it faith or following my heart, but I just….know." She said shyly under the intense study of the older woman's eyes, not quite ready to share the information about the cabin and how it had drawn her out from the very night she returned to the beach from the Others' compound, weathered and weary.
Rose gave her a small smile, recalling the last moments she'd shared alone with this remarkable young woman, her words having stayed with her in a big way it seemed. Whatever she had mangled herself to find, she must have found it, she deduced with confidence. There was something different about her, the lost soul she'd patched up all those weeks ago suddenly dissolved, the passionate and determined heroine before her prepared to set sail on open seas and brave any foe that stood in her way for Jack. Rose could see how much she loved him; it was in everything she was designed to be.
"We need to organize search parties," Sayid said, speaking up from the back of the group, walking towards Kate. "It'll be a stretch and a gamble, but it's all we can do." He looked down at her, giving her a nod that spoke of his belief in her, of his willingness to help, to follow her lead. She grinned gratefully, giving a short nod of her own in retort.
"Good idea." Juliet nodded, having drawn everyone's attention again. They had forgotten that she was there amid their shared grief and planning of the next move. "I'll gladly lead one of the teams. We can split into—"
"Hold on. Why exactly are you leadin' anything? Why are you even talkin'?" Sawyer interrupted her, stepping up to her with pure aggression taunt in every muscle in his body, ready to do battle with the beautiful blonde. He didn't trust this woman as far as he could throw her, and he wasn't going to start now.
Juliet took note of his physical command, not at all intimidated, but very amused by him. She predicted this encounter and while she enjoyed being right, she didn't enjoy being interrupted, especially after risking so much to come here and give them the news. There wouldn't even be a course of action if it wasn't for that.
"Because I've been on this Island far longer than any of you and I'm just as anxious to find Jack as you are." Juliet cocked her head, giving Sawyer just as much attitude as he gave.
"We appreciate you comin' here to tell us about the Doc, Blondie, but we don't need your help and we don't want it." Sawyer easily dismissed her, lighting the fuse to her temper, not even noticing the trigger he just set off, but he would soon notice and regret it.
"Really?" She asked, offended by his sudden memory lapse. She stepped up to him. "Well, you needed my help a few months ago, didn't you? Or do you not remember my saving your life? Shooting down one of my oldest friends to make sure you and Kate were able to escape?"
Sawyer scoffed. "You did that for Ben and you know it. Jack had your boyfriend's life hanging in the balance and the only way he was gonna let him live was if you helped us escape, so spare me your tears about that bastard Pickett. He got exactly what he deserved."
Kate rounded Sawyer, facing Juliet with accusing, distrustful eyes, having been reminded of this woman's allegiance with Ben and the Others. "Why did you come back? I thought you wanted off this Island for good."
Juliet could sense the suspicion and hostility in her tone, and it didn't sit well, but she remained calm, opting to plead her case instead, but boy was she ready for this face-off, had been ever since she thought she could march onto the compound and rescue Jack from a situation she left him to shoulder on his own. Her vie for attention knew no bounds.
"I came back to help Jack rescue you," Juliet huffed pointedly, "all of you."
"Or maybe you just came back to score points." Kate argued.
Juliet bowed her head, a short laugh escaping. She snapped her head back up, eyes burning. "Are you accusing me of something, Kate?"
"Is it really that hard to tell?" Kate spat back, her attitude revving up and leaving no patience for this woman and her presence. "Maybe you came back to help yourself. Why else would you give a damn about any of us after getting what you want?"
"Interesting choice of words, because we've all been helping ourselves, haven't we, Kate?"
Kate crossed her arms defensively, not backing down from that obvious accusation. "Are you accusing me of something, Juliet?"
"Is it really that hard to tell?" Juliet retorted, watching as Kate exaggerated an eye-roll. "You just had to come back after Jack explicitly made you promise not to. You almost ruined any chance of him leaving this Island, because you just have to be the center of his world. You just had to—"
Kate had heard enough, stepping up to her, her voice rising. "I was trying to save him!"
"Bullshit!" Juliet yelled, her gasket blown. "Did it look like he was in danger? Did he look miserable to you? Did it look like his life was hanging in the balance? He was fine. He didn't need you, Kate, and that's what bothers yo—"
"Don't you dare try to make it look like you people were never a threat to him, to any of us!" Kate erupted, her temper past the boiling point. "You shot at us, abducted us, you tied our hands behind our backs and put bags over our heads. You and your people took whatever you wanted when you wanted even after every precaution we took as a group to defend ourselves."
"I risked my life to go back for him because I honestly believed that he was in danger, because that's all I've ever experienced from you people. Manipulation, violence and death. You think you know Jack better than I do, huh? Well you don't. I know exactly why he told me not to try to find him, because he was trying to protect me, he didn't want me to get hurt."
Juliet just looked at her, like she was meeting her for the first time. The urge to laugh in her face was hot in her belly, but she fought against it, because she had other plans that would set her straight on just who Jack had become because of her. Was she really this ignorant, this self-centered?
"Is that what you think?" Then it dawned on her. She had no idea, no clue the real reason why things had fallen out the way they had. Her voice was soft, a revelation brewing. "You don't think anyone else knows, do you?"
"Knows what?" Kate asked.
"Did you ever ask yourself why you, Jack and Sawyer were captured in the first place? Of all the people on this beach, what would Ben possibly want with the three of you?" Juliet challenged.
"What the hell are you talkin' about?" Sawyer asked. "He needed Jack to—"
"You're exactly right James," Juliet cut him off, "he needed Jack, he was the goal, but what about you two? What did Ben possibly want with a career con-artist and a criminal? He threw you both in cages like dogs, and treated you as such, had you breaking rocks all day just to keep you busy until he found use for you."
"Just get to the point already." Sawyer barked at her, frustrated with her insults, her voice and her presence for that matter, this woman pressing all of his buttons just by breathing.
"Ben's plan was to achieve one thing and one thing only, to emotionally crush Jack, and the most important component of that plan was you, Kate."
Kate's eyes squinted with suspicion and curiosity. "Ben infiltrated your camp as Henry Gale so that he could learn more about the group dynamic and you know what he picked up on? Jack's feelings for you and yours for him, and Sawyer. So, he found it. He found his way to get Jack to do the surgery."
"What does one have to do with the other?" Sawyer asked.
Kate angled her head in his direction, her voice travelling over her shoulder. "Ben told me that he was threatening your life to force Jack's hand, to make him believe that he would actually kill you, by sending me to convince him that he would, to change his mind about the surgery." She rubbed a hand over her head, her mind recalling the events clearly through her rage. "The son of a bitch even thanked me for it."
"So, I was just there for get my face knocked in like clockwork? Perfect." Sawyer sighed.
"About three days after you were captured, Ben presented his medical file to Jack. Every single notation, every test result, every X-ray, every professional opinion about his tumor was in that file, and Jack literally threw it back in his face. You're right Kate, but he didn't tell you the whole story." Juliet said.
"After Jack said no the first time, Ben had me take you to him, after you'd seen the lengths he would go to by having Sawyer beaten within an inch of his life. He wanted you scared and devastated, and he wanted Jack to see it, to manipulate him into agreeing to the surgery, because Jack would do anything for you, wouldn't he? But, this time, he didn't budge, not even for his precious Kate, not yet anyway."
"There were cameras where Ben was keeping him. He was watching the entire encounter between the two of you. He watched you beg and he watched Jack get angrier and angrier the more you pleaded with him, practically yelling for you to leave, because he knew what Ben was doing. When Ben saw his plan unraveling, he got desperate."
"How desperate?" Sawyer asked.
Juliet turned to him. "Like I said, there were cameras everywhere, and the camera that was pointed towards your cage wasn't broken, James." Sawyer bowed his head, and turned to Kate, who was suddenly pale, the flush in her cheeks from her arduous trek draining.
"Where we were keeping Jack, it was in the same wing as the relay station, where all the video feed from the cameras is picked up by security monitors." Juliet met Kate's eyes, "soon after I took you back to your cage, Ben ordered one of his lackeys to unlatch the door to where we were keeping him."
"Just as Ben wanted, Jack escaped, and he was primed to fight tooth and nail to find you Kate, giving his life to make sure you were safe if he had to." Juliet's voice took on a harsh, angry register then, having seen what she was about to reveal hurt her dear friend to the point where he could barely see straight for the pain was so real and ever-present. She wanted that kind of pain for Kate, and she would get it.
"But instead of you waiting patiently for him to rescue you, do you want to know what he found instead?"
Kate stood motionless, cold, and numb. This couldn't be happening, could it? This couldn't be real, could it? She silently prayed.
Sawyer could sense Juliet's mission of embarrassing Kate going too far, and he couldn't stand by any longer. "Juliet, sto—"
"The image of you naked in Sawyer's arms, after you'd obviously had sex with him." Juliet said loud enough for all to hear. The group looked between Kate and Sawyer, the moment so awkward and excruciatingly baffling they wanted to spare their friends this embarrassment by backing away to leave them alone, but the damage had been done. No amount of privacy could spare this moment now.
Juliet wore a smug grin, her dazzling blue eyes danced with satisfaction. "And it didn't take you very long, did it?"
The gravity of what Kate had just heard crushed her lungs in its fist, making the simple act of breathing terribly laborious. The tears came freely at this point as she looked down at the ground, her mouth agape in her shock. Sawyer looked over at her, wanting so badly to comfort her, but knowing in his gut that she would reject him. Everyone knew now. Everyone knew what they had done. There was a sense of relief for him, a weight lifted, but for Kate, this was the end.
"Ben had a backup plan, Kate. He was never gonna kill Sawyer. He is a liar. Every word that comes out of his mouth is a lie. You opening your legs at the first sign of the situation being utterly hopeless was exactly what Ben wanted you to do, and you played right into his hands. Congratulations."
"That's enough!" Sawyer spat, one move away from punching her square in the mouth to get her to shut up, but she ignored him and kept going, on a roll that she'd been mentally practicing for months, twisting the dagger she'd so mercilessly plunged through Kate's heart, destroying her.
"Do you want to know the truth about why Jack shut you out Kate?" Juliet asked, her words biting with sarcasm and disgust. The desolation painting and the tears staining her face the jackpot she was looking for and she was greedy for more.
"Jack told you not to come back not because he wanted to protect you. He told you not to come back because you broke his heart," Juliet said in such a matter of fact tone, every single word was punctuated with exactness, but then her tone turned nasty again, vile and damaging, "and he wasn't gonna give you a fat chance in hell of doing it again."
Because you broke his heart.
To Kate, those words were like body blows. Tears streamed down her face, and she didn't make a move to swipe at them. Her worst fear was not only real, it had been real for awhile now, and she had no idea. Jack knew. He knew about her and Sawyer, what they did and he saved them anyways. Worst of all, the last time she saw him, in the game room, he knew then too, and he said nothing.
She thought back to their last moments together. His distant behavior, the clipped, concise way he spoke to her, the way he wouldn't really allow her to emotionally connect with him, the searing image of her and Sawyer together branded into his mind the catalyst to steer clear of her. She was no longer someone he could consider a haven, but a danger, maybe even more dangerous than the group of people that surrounded them then. It all made perfect sense now.
He hadn't changed because of his time with the Others, he had changed because of her. She was still confused, because while her last moments with Jack were rocky at first, once she inched her way through the cracks in the wall he had placed against her, he softened, and she felt it, ran with it even. He was still holding back though, he still kept his distance, but what she could gather from the warmth in his eyes and the fullness of his touch, she cherished, took to memory. It was the last she had of him, but he had given more. He gave her his father's watch, he promised to come back for her and he had, after she had hurt him in the worst possible way. Why would he do that for her after she'd torn him apart?
She had no idea of the depth of Jack's feelings. To have broken his heart would imply that he had given it to her. Things were always so complicated, their pasts, their habits, the pressures of surviving and keeping everyone safe and secure kept their attention off of what was always brewing between them, and now it might be too late to tell him how sorry she was, how much she had always loved him and how hurting him was the worst offense she had ever committed.
She didn't know what to do with herself now. She'd felt dirty about what she'd done with Sawyer before, when she thought that it was this sordid secret between the two of them, but now that Jack knew, her entire world was blown apart, traces of it like shards of glass in the sand at her feet. She felt everything spinning out of orbit, so she gripped her head to steady her dizziness, breathing heavily, asthmatically. She was visibly trembling, sobs ebbing and flowing from her lips. Everyone expected her to pounce on Juliet for having done this, but she just stood there, shaking her head, mumbling through her tears.
Sawyer finally broke down and reached for her, to help her, worried for her. She deftly whipped away from him, pushing at his hands before they could land against her, before he could ever dare say that it was okay. Nothing was okay, and it would never be. Not ever again.
"Don't touch me!" Kate growled while pushing her hair out of her face, righting herself as she almost tripped over her own two feet. The thought of his hands on her in any way made her physically sick.
Sawyer froze, disgusted with himself through Kate's obvious aversion of him. He caught the regret and pain in her eyes, and the anger. She couldn't lie about her regret soon after their moments in those cages, and she most certainly wasn't hiding it now. He could see her hatred for herself in those haunting green eyes of hers, and his heart was breaking for her more than it was for himself, because as much as she said it before, about there not being anything to resolve between them, he was no longer in denial. If it wasn't obvious that Jack was the man she loved and longed for before, there was no mistaking it now. The fact that she'd hurt him took every ounce of fight she had left. He had never seen her look this vacant and lost in every way a person could be lost.
Kate backed away from him, turning her eyes to the group, all of whom watched her with sympathy and confusion in their eyes, this strong, capable girl that was ready to take on the world just moments ago suddenly reduced to inconsolable ruins, crushed like a bug under Juliet's boot. It was a sorrowful sight that none of them could really do anything about. Kate Austen looked sick not only in her body, but in her soul. How do you cure that? How do you even begin to console it?
Everyone could sense it, what she was about to do. She was going to run. She was going to punish herself, force herself into exile as fast as her feet could carry her. They hadn't known Kate for very long, but they knew her habits, her ways. When things got tough for others, Kate was always there, like a rock, but when things were rocky for her, running was always the most plausible solution. It was a conundrum no one dared try to decipher.
She turned away to leave, the pressure in her head and the pain in her heart too much to deal with when everyone was staring holes through her.
"Kate, please don't go." Sun rounded her husband as she spoke up, the emotion and pain in her voice for her friend heard loud and clear. Her hand sat over the semi-conspicuous bump of her abdomen, evidence of her pregnancy's progression, of all she wanted to share with her friend, who seemed to be losing herself in this chaos.
Kate continued on her way, her path leading her back into the jungle, back into obscurity, into loneliness, where she belonged, where she deserved to belong. Sun, noticing that her plea fell on death ears, decided to play the only card that would get Kate to stop and reconsider.
"What about Jack? Don't you want to find him?"
Kate stopped short, tilted her head back, and closed her eyes tightly to flush the sea of tears from her blurred vision, sighing loudly and achingly. More than you can possibly imagine, she thought to say, but did she even deserve that desire now? Had she ever? Did she deserve to want to see Jack again after hurting him so terribly, after not just being honest and telling him, even if he already knew? Would she always destroy everything she loved?
Bowing her head, she tucked her dented chin into her chest, hiding behind the curtain of her curls, absolutely crushed, mortified and not to be bargained with, not about this. Her head rose on a chocked sob, and her feet were moving once more.
And just like that, she was gone, again.
Jack woke with a bit of a start, coughing immediately, trying to catch his breath. His wide eyes caught the bright blue sky above through the trees, the sun beaming down over everything. It was daylight now; the storm had passed, leaving the jungle to dry and the winds to calm. He laid his hands over his chest, trying to verify the reality of his existence, which was a feeble trick of the mind, he knew, but it didn't stop him. He didn't even know if he existed anymore, what the rules were, and how the raw impact of that wave crashing into him hadn't killed him instantly. The laws of Physics governed that it should have.
He collapsed back against the ground, wiped out, but alert, his garbled breathing mingling with the silence. Was he immortal now? Somehow unable to be hurt, to die? That couldn't be true. If it were, how could he possibly explain the wound he'd woken up to on the beach?
Maybe that was when it all changed, when Jacob spared his life. It had altered something. He felt changed, not because of what he was experiencing, his body and his mind being ripped from one moment in time to the next, randomly, like his entire existence was stuck in shuffle, but because of something that seemed to have seeped into his bones. Jacob had done more than save his life, Jack began to realize, and with the stark reality that he may never know just what that was.
It was because he had chosen him to protect the Island, and he was branded with that fate now that he was met with its truth. Maybe the more this happened to him, the deeper he went into the void, the more cut off from all of reality he was, even the elements. He didn't feel much of anything, not now and not from before, when he stood in the waffling cold of the storm, wet down to his bones, and still, nothing, not even a chill, his only sensation the textured actuality of his father's letter in his back pocket.
Jacob hadn't told him everything. Come to think of it, he said so much, but nothing at all, nothing that was useful to him in the moment and could get him where he needed to go. How was he supposed to protect the Island in the present or future if getting to the ELMA device was pretty much impossible? What if he was stuck in this limbo forever, trapped with only his thoughts and motivations to fill the silence? Always running but never really going anywhere?
Rushing those thoughts away, he rose from off his back, his body playing catch-up with his mind, which wanted him to stand and seek the answers to his many questions. After he wiped his hands over his face, he looked out and around to his surroundings and took in the fresh, new details. The old, ripe age of the jungle he knew was gone. The leaves were lush in the trees, the grass was full. There wasn't a single stitch of a path noticeable to his untrained eye, not one twig hung broken from rushed feet. This place felt like it had never been discovered, never touched or tainted. It was novel.
This was virgin territory. Primordial and erringly silent.
He hadn't gone anywhere, another certain thought he had no idea how he knew, but he had. The water had simply washed him back to where he was before, alone in the middle of the jungle without the slightest idea what to do next. Yelling out for Jacob had only caused a blistering headache, and was ill-advised in his condition. It wasn't like the bastard was ever going to show himself and take credit for what he'd done, or at the very least admit that this was some sick initiation into a job, a destiny he wasn't completely sure he really wanted.
Then, he remembered the ship. It was headed for the Island, a straight shot, and had to have been in the jungle somewhere, wrecked, toppled. There had to be someone on it, right? The captain? A crew member, maybe? Could anyone have survived that? There was only one way to find out.
He got to his feet and made his way through the trees, the vessel not hard to find if it was the larger than life monstrosity he remembered helplessly spiraling through the storm. Eventually, after wandering around with no clues drawing him to what he was looking for, he could make out the faint lining of something through the leaves, in the clearing close by, blocking the sunlight. He stumbled forward, moving through a sheet of dangling vines to reveal the blast from the past, or was it now the future?
The Black Rock.
It was sitting in the very spot it had been when he and the others trekked to it for dynamite, but it hadn't been there for many years, cracked and molded by age and abandonment. It had just arrived, destroying Jacob's statue in the process. He couldn't escape the gargantuan certainty of it, and it somehow brought relief.
Before he could fully react to its presence or inspect for any survivors, in a flash, he was gone, again.