The Slytherin Swedes

A/N:

Varg: Ohh, new chapter! Here is more evidence that we actually are out of our minds!

Freddie: I think it is important to know that these characters are a bit exaggerated. But it is much more fun this way ;) and what film based on real people isn't?

Lövis: I'm so in love!

Varg: Great, Lövis…

"I hate liver," Petra said and wrinkled her nose at the plate in front of her.

"No kidding," Sanne said and drew patterns in the sauce. Sanna was absently shoving the food into her mouth. Suddenly, totally out of the blue she said,

"I wonder if Enlargio works on humans?"
"Why don't you try," Petra said, clearly in a bad mood because of the liver.

"What's in it for me?"

"You can have my liver," Petra said in a bored tone.

"No way, I'm risking my reputation here!" Sanna exclaimed.

"I think it is because you don't dare," Sanne butted in.

"It's not!"
"Alright, you can have my new Magnus Uggla single if you hit Abigail Arden's nose." Petra said eyeing the girl at the Gryffindor table. She had hated her since the day they had started.

"That's not very hard you know. It's just to aim at her face." Sanna answered thinking of Abigail's not very small nose.

"I know, but I want to see if it's anatomically possible to have a bigger nose than she already has."

"Five galleons you'll miss," Sanne said simply to encourage her friend into doing it.

"100 galleons," someone drawled behind them. They turned and faced Draco Malfoy, the Slytherin Prince.

"It's Abigail Arden's nose we're talking about here," Sanna said with a raised eyebrow. She and the Malfoy had always enjoyed quarreling while Petra preferred talking to him and Sanne didn't like him at all.

"50, then," he said with a shrug before sitting down beside Petra who inched closer. Sanna squinted towards the Gryffindor table.

"I hope you are feeling rich," she said before drawing her wand. Quietly she whispered "Enlargio," and red light crossed the hall before hitting Abigail Arden's large nose, that immediately started to swell.

Ronald Weasley rose and stumbled towards her. Sanna raised and reached the Gryffindor table by Ron's fifth failed attempt to get Abigail's nose back to normal. Starting to get worried because of the girl's trouble with breathing, Sanna snapped the right counter spell to the Head Boy. He finally managed and the nose returned to its formal state.

"Now it's small again," Ron breathed relieved.

"You think?" Sanna said, "At least it's back to normal. Would you like to see?" now turned to Abigail. "Here, I have a pocket mirror. Oh, I'm so sorry it doesn't seem to be large enough for your nose. Next time, I'll buy a figure mirror."

"Stop it, you..you.." Ron spluttered and the Head Girl appeared from behind him glaring at Sanna who smiled sweetly.

"You know you're getting really red in the face, it can't be good for your blood pressure." Sanne and Petra popped up behind Sanna.

"Is he crossed with you?" Petra asked with huge eyes.

"I don't know but he's really red in the face. Look, now he got a shade deeper!"

"Oh, bugger off!" Hermione snapped.

"What does bugger off mean?" Sanne asked Petra, looking confused.

"It means fuck off, Sanne" Petra answered her.

"Oh, why didn't you just say that?" Sanne said cheerily to the Head Girl.

"Well, we're off then," Sanna said before pinching the angry Head Boy's cheek and straighten his tie, "See you at the meeting, Toodles!" The trio sauntered off, chatting happily.

"I swear she's as bad as Malfoy. All three of them are!" Ron exclaimed.

"I'm booored, Petra!" Sanne whined fifteen minutes later as she and Petra were sitting in the Slytherin common room. Petra looked up from staring at the floor.

"Do something funny, then," she said and rolled her eyes.

"Like what?"

"Ummm, you can owl some of your dating contacts and tell them that the person that suits them best is Longbottom," Petra suggested, "that cheered you up last time you messed up at Snape's lesson."

Sanne was running a dating service at Hogwarts per owl post and paired people up. She paired everyone she didn't like together with the clumsy Gryffindor boy. Even other boys.

"No... I don't feel up to it. Can't we go and kidnap Sanna from the prefects meeting?"

"That's an idea! Let's go," Petra said and the girls excited the dark room.

Sanna sighed and smirked as she heard a soft snore beside her. Draco would be mortified if someone told him that he snored.

This is awfully boring, she thought. The meeting had started half an hour ago and still they had just been able to not agree on what you would do if you met Peeves when you patrolled. She looked around which wasn't very funny since all the prefects sat by one long table facing the Head Boy and Girl. Behind them was a window high up at the wall showing the corridor outside or more correct, the wall of the corridor. All you could look at was the Head couple or the stone walls with the house emblems and flags around.

Almost groaning as it was decided to put the question to rest Sanna kicked the sleeping blonde beneath the table. She was not going to be bored alone.

Disoriented he looked up and Sanna smirked. "Good morning sunshine!" She whispered maliciously. Cursing under his breath and glaring he straightened up.

Apparently they had moved over to another question and a Hufflepuff fifth year prefect, Kenneth Robertson rose to say something.

"I think...eh..." His voice subsided and he stared somewhere over the heads of the Head prefects. Sanna looked over and had to clasp a hand over her mouth. On the window someone had written Get a life, Robertson in big glowing letters. The letters disappeared quickly and when the two Gryffindors turned there was just a window left to see.

"Is there a problem Mr. Robertson?" Granger asked. Nervously he shook his head and looked back down on his paper again.

"Like I said..." Sanna rapidly turned to the window and had to bite her lip. Sanne and Petra had pressed their faces against the glass and were squinting. Kenneth looked frightened and the Head girl looked concerned. Sanna signed at her friends to get down and they dodged making the Head couple once again facing a normal window.

By now all the prefects looked amused, shocked or upset. How did anyone dare to interrupt their important meeting? Except for Sanna who had slipped from her chair and was lying on the floor laughing.

"I think Ms. Sjögren is tired. Will you escort her to her dorm, Mr. Malfoy?" The ridiculous pronouncing of her name did nothing to stop her hysteria. The older Slytherin hauled her off the floor and led her out.

"You're nuts. Your friends are nuts. Are all people in Sweden nuts?" Draco said as he half led half carried the maniacally laughing girl.

"You bet," a voice answered him from behind and Petra accompanied by Sanne slipped out of a deserted classroom.

"Is it something wrong with her? I mean she's never like this..." Draco said eyeing the blonde wearily.

"Of course not. She's always like this on Mondays." Petra said casually and Sanne nodded.

"Last Monday she wouldn't stop until a quarter to twelve. Didn't help we cast a silencing charm on her she kept on laughing silently," Sanne enlightened him.

"What was it then?" Draco wondered, he'd love to know what kept you laughing for hours. Except for the Dream Team.

"She discovered that McGonagall has a moustache," Petra said assisting her friend.

"I have to check tomorrow," Draco said before hurrying off. The crazy happiness was making him nervous.

Two hours later

"You should have seen your faces!" Sanna managed before her giggles increased. A pillow hit her in the head, "Shut up will you!" Sanne looked up from her sketch of Professor Lane. It should have been Sanna's birthday present but it hadn't been finished. Checking her pink wristwatch she said, "ten minutes then we can go to sleep." Ten minutes later the perturbing giggles stopped and were replaced with soft snores.

"You know for once your actually right, Sanne," Petra said and let the light out. Sanne just snorted.

A/N2: Varg: Today it's my turn having the last note so...Do review! Toodles!

Freddie: Did you really think you would be down here all alone? I have to answer the review, duh...

TopazSoarhire: Thank you, I had no idea I was deep… since I did not write last chapter you will have to thank Varg (which means wolf in Swedish) for the good descriptions of us :)