Chapter 17 Ben Solo
Ben was at the base wielding something together with Chewie. They had their eyeguards on, as the sparks would once in a while fly around. Chewie was barking about something as Ben continued to put the machine together. Ben stopped for a moment as Chewie finished his sentence. 3PO then made his way in to see the progress.
"No, Chewie, unless the Order really hates Wookies then I think it's just you." Ben responded back as he set down the wielder machine. Ben looked to his finished work well, parts of his finished work. He was trying to replicate the hyperspace tracker based on what Finn, Rose and BB-8 could remember and what data they pulled. He then pulled out the rough schematic as he lowered his guards around so they hung around his neck. Chewie continued to talk to Ben as the young man looked to the pieces he was putting together.
"May I say something sir?" 3PO asked as Ben looked up from the schematic to the gold droid as he made his way in.
"Not really interested." Ben muttered under his breath as he continued to study the structure.
"I say sir," 3PO walked to the structure. "Might you add an extra power coupling to the far-side? It would drive in more power from the data." Ben then looked to the droid for a moment.
"Yeah, what do you know?" Ben never was attached to the gold droid. He found 3PO annoying even with the best intentions. He knew his grandfather built the droid a long time ago so 3PO was a relic of the past and while Ben found the thing annoying he couldn't bare the idea of getting rid of him. Ben then went over to Chewie.
"We should probably add an extra power coupling." Ben whispered to Chewie not to let 3PO know he agreed with the idea. Chewie gave a response.
"Sometimes I don't understand human behavior." 3PO began to walk away as Ben turned around and looked at the machine. It was a mix of new and old to blend everything together so everything could be read efficiently. Ben walked to the table and leaned up against it wondering where the second power coupling could go, the far-side might work.
As he looked Connix came over to see how things were and saw how far Ben has come. He was much like his father, he can tinker and build and well to.
"How's it going?" Connix asked and Ben looked to her. His looks were always so intense. Connix was never sure if he was intense on purpose or that was true nature. Only when Rey was around did that hard face soften a little.
"It's going." Ben answered but while his exterior was still hard and callous at times, his interior has smoothed over more. If you caught him right he might let a smile form or even let a small chuckle come forth. It was rare but it happens. The team has accepted that was who he is and it's not going to change, not for a long time. "What about the data?" Ben asked.
"Rey is working overtime on it." Connix answered meaning Rey was feeding the data from the Order into another system for their hyperspace tracker. Just then Leia came in. Connix straighten up just slightly but Ben did nothing. Leia looked at the equipment Ben was building and then to him. "We're getting there, what the Empire and the Order has done in the past thirty years we're doing in thirty days." Connix added.
"While you work on that what other files were Rey and Finn managed to steal?" Leia asked and Ben completely removed the eyegaurds and some outer wielding gear. This was going to take time and they need to be very precise with it. The four of them left the room and started to roam the base to figure out what Rey and Finn managed to take, hopefully it something useful and not reports.
Rey was with Poe and Finn transferring data from the disk to their own mainframe. It was going to be long time though. Rey was typing some stuff though to start with trail testing once the machine was up and running. Just then the three could hear Chewie and they all turned around as Leia stepped in.
"Morning," She greeted them and they greeted her back as Rey sat back in the chair. "What else did you and Finn manage to steal?" She asked and Rey scooted her chair as it rolled to a small table and she picked up the disks. No one has gone through them, not in detail but Rey did glanced.
"This one," She held up one. "This is the menu and what food they order." That didn't seem like it was going to help them.
"We can try and poison them." Poe offered up that plan and they looked to Poe as he shrugged. Rey tossed the disk to the table no one like that plan.
"This one," She held up the second disk. "These are files about the Storm Trooper program and the Clone Army program."
"Keep." Finn called out as he typed in something. Maybe they can hack into the program later. But for Ben taking people at a young age and brainwashing them didn't seem to work, case in point Finn. He was able to commit high treason all on his own.
"This one," Rey continued. "A years worth of arms dealing."
"Past or present?" Leia asked.
"Past, but we can gauge what it is that they look for." Rey added so that was tossed into the keep pile. "This one," She looked at it. "Data files on some of the command crew…Hux included." That one was a keeper and one they would need to open sooner rather than later. "This one is my favorite," She held up the last disk. "Last years meeting minutes and the next year's worth of meetings and schedules, topics and all." She then placed that into the keep pile.
"We have some leverage then." Leia sounded good with this.
"I still say we poison them." Poe offered and looked around. "They would never see it coming." Leia sighed and put attention back to Rey.
"I can start running reports, this," Rey pointed to the screen behind her and then rolled back to the computer. "This is going to take a week to transfer over." Leia nodded and liked the plan so far and left. The six were now there as Rey started to type.
Ben was in his quarters again studying the Jedi text seeing what else he can learn and then in turn teach Rey. As he sat there taking notes some strange fleeting moment hit him.
Ben looked at his small toy as it floated in the air. He wasn't sure how he was doing it but it was floating. Ben then flinched as he heard his name being yelled. The toy fell and the little boy turned around seeing Han there. Han didn't mean to yell; he was calling for his soon to see where he was.
"I sorry daddy." Ben apologized but Han didn't seem upset because he knew Ben was going to have the power to use the Force. Han walked over to Ben hoisted him up looking at the child with that jet-black hair.
"You don't need to be sorry." Han stated placing his forehead to Ben's. He walked Ben over to the bed to put him asleep but when Han does this Ben knew his father was leaving again.
"Do you need to go?" Ben asked and Han sighed.
"Just for a week." Han assured the young boy.
Ben Solo came back to the here and now. It was always a week, just one week that would stretch into two, then three. But that forehead touch was something he always remembered. He can remember that all the way until the last day he saw Han before he left for the Jedi Order. And now thinking about it, Han never really hugged or kissed him, that was as close to affection Han offered Ben. And then really thinking about it he does the same thing to Rey although he kisses her. What if he ever had kids? He pushed that idea away, kids, little people; he thought he'd be a horrible father and didn't believe in bringing in children in this harsh galaxy, that wasn't fair.
Night had fallen over the base as Ben stood just outside the hanger looking to the fleet that still continued to grow. The nighttime lights kicked in, as the base was shutting down and cool air rolled in. The last of the workers passed him as Ben looked up in the night seeing the last of the daylight disappear. The wind gusted through as the night was here. Just then a worker came up to the Commander.
"Commander Solo, we're shutting the doors for the night, we have a report a massive flurry is due to hit." The worker finished and the air was dropping. Ben nodded and started back into the base as the huge doors started to close behind him. As he walked towards the living sections he felt that Rey was nearby but continued to walk. Just then he looked up seeing his mother and their eyes locked for a moment.
Ben was six years old as he raced through the halls of the building. People greeted him as he passed by. He was awkward though, he was taller than most six year olds and his ears didn't seem to quite fit his head yet. As he ran he stopped at a room and looked in. He saw his uncle standing there with a group young people all holding sparring sticks and as Luke yelled out a command and they would follow. Ben smiled and snuck into the room to watch. Just then his uncle picked up on his little nephew in the back. He wasn't going to say anything though and let his nephew watch the training session. While Ben didn't have a sparring stick he mimicked the stands and the moves as best as he could. That caught Luke's attention.
As this happened Leia walked up the halls searching for her son. People were pointing in the direction he was last seen and she followed and came to the room where she found her brother. Leia saw the little boy in the back trying to keep up with the older Jedi in training. Ben then saw his mother and knew his training session was over and walked to his mom.
Ben returned to the here and now once more and started to walk the base and oversee the shutting down process. He headed to the communications room as the Resistance continued to watch the galaxy. Ben took up an empty chair and placed on an earpiece and looked to the screen. He then heard the First Order probe droid that they deactivated a long time ago buzzing around. Ben punched in some numbers to pan away from the base and go into different sectors into the planet's system towards space. He then sat back in his chair and watched. The First Order would come by this way again, it was impossible for them not to. For now, all was quiet.
Ben could hear the conversion between his mother and his uncle.
"He's strong in the Force Leia, you know that." Luke insisted while the young Solo was on the other side of the room.
"I don't know Luke," Leia sounded a little wary of it. "He's just a boy." Leia didn't want to give up her son right now. There was talk of Luke moving the new Jedi Temple somewhere else and that meant he would have to go to. Ben wanted to train though. Ben then walked towards his uncle and his mother.
"I want to be a pilot and a Jedi." The six year old declared very clearly. Luke smiled at his nephew and Leia couldn't but smile as well.
"You can be both Ben." Luke assured him as Ben walked to his uncle and Luke hoisted him up in his arms. Just then Han came down the hall.
"Gotta go, Lando is calling for help." Han started as he looked to his family standing there. Now seeing the three of them there he almost wanted to stay.
"What did Lando do?" Leia asked.
"The question is what didn't he do." Han added and sighed. "I'll be back in two…three weeks." Han added and then looked to Ben.
"I'm going to be a Jedi." Ben stated to Han and his father nodded.
"Right," Han didn't sound convinced. "We'll discuss that when I get back." Han then leaned in and kissed Leia and then reached for his son placing his forehead to his. "You listen your mother ok star pilot?" Ben nodded and set the boy down and patted Luke's shoulder.
Ben sat on his bed thinking about the first time he truly thought about being a Jedi, the want to be a Jedi Knight like his uncle. He could remember hearing the stories and the tales of the Jedi. As Ben sat there he looked up seeing Rey walk into the quarters, as she looked tired. They didn't exchange words and Rey looked to him.
"Ben?" She asked as she walked to him wondering what was on his mind. She can see he was thinking. He looked up at her and sighed. "Are you ok?" He nodded and then laid back on the bed feeling his back stretch out a little. He closed his eyes again just to let the day go.
Ben and Chewie were up in the clouds in the Falcon flying. Han sat behind Ben as he continued to guide him on the controls and how to pilot although Ben picked up real quick how a long time ago. Han knew Ben would be able to fly, Han had been flying and piloting all his life and then you had Ben's grandfather, he was a star pilot too. It was in Ben's blood to fly.
Ben started to push on the controls and started to spin the Falcon and Han smiled. Maybe one day he'll pass the Falcon onto Ben.
Ben rolled over and the room was dark as he saw Rey was asleep next to him. He let out a sigh and laid there for a moment thinking about how he grew up. How much he has grown up and how many people wanted to decide his fate.
Ben sat on a chair with Chewie but in the background he could hear them fighting. Han and Leia argued about Ben's future. What was this boy going to do?
"He should train!" Leia argued wanting him to train but Han felt differently. Maybe because Han was not a part of the Force like Leia and Luke and now Ben he didn't understand. Chewie said something to him and placed his paw on Ben's shoulder but the young boy got up and walked away. As he went to his room he slammed the door with the Force letting out his frustration.
People were deciding his fate not him. As he sat on his bed he could hear it again, it was like this whisper this pull. Ben closed his eyes and took in a deep breath to listen. It was a quiet voice; it was letting him know it was here for him, to guide him. That voice started only in dreams but now it comes to him while he is awake at times.
Ben stood up decided he should make his choice and found his parents standing in front of one another.
"I want to go." Ben declared and both his parents turned around looking at him. "I should right? I mean Darth Vader was my grandfather." Leia looked upset. That news was kept hidden for so long and it should have been her and Han that told him not the people, not the news or the HOLOnet. "I want to go." The ten year old then turned away from his parents and continued to walk.
Ben looked around his room sitting there and a knock was heard. He held out his hand and it was mother at his door. She walked in the room and sat on the side of the bed.
"I'm sorry," Leia apologized. "But yes, Darth Vader is your grandfather, I just thought…" Leia took in a deep breath and Ben looked at her. "I didn't want that to be all that others look at." His mother was honest as she looked to her son. "Maybe I was holding out until you were just a little bit older."
"Are you afraid if you send me away I'll turn?" Ben asked and Leia's eyes widen and her face turned into disbelief. She then shook her head no. She scooted closer to Ben and wrapped her arms around him.
"No, no," She answered and kissed the top of his head. His hair was so soft, maybe the softest thing she has ever felt. She then rested her cheek on the top of his head. "There's a call and Luke can teach you so much." Leia began but that's not what he wanted to hear. He wanted his mom to say no and just to argue but he felt something watching him. But his parents letting him go so easily felt like they didn't care, it was easier to pawn him off to his uncle so they can peruse their own lives. In the last three years they have been gone. He sees his mother once a week, his father less than that. Chewie hung out with him most of the time. Maybe it would be better with Luke.
"Then I'll go." Ben stated his choice and Leia nodded. "Tomorrow." But her eyes widen.
"You don't have to leave right away Ben." Leia insisted but Ben stared at her, laid down and turned over meaning he wanted to be left alone. Leia reached out placing his hand on his shoulder squeezing it.
That night as Ben drifted off into sleep he felt his own father in the room. Han watched Ben sleep knowing tomorrow he was going to the Jedi Order and he wasn't sure the next time he'll see him. Ben wanted to talk to his dad. So as soon as he sat up the door was already shutting.
"Dad?" He whispered into the night. Ben felt a lump in his throat forming and his eyes watering. He quickly wiped a tear away and laid back down crying silently to himself.
That morning Leia and Ben waited for Luke to arrive to take him away to the new Jedi Temple. As the two waited Ben looked around for Han wondering where his father was. Leia then looked to her son and the look in her eyes said it.
"Your father left for a mission." Leia answered and Ben nodded. "He needed to leave right away."
"He always does." Ben spat back and Leia nodded. Ben looked annoyed and frustrated but then Chewie came out to see off his friend. Ben was scooped up by the Wookie and he hugged him tightly. "I'll come home soon Chewie." Ben assured the Wookie. Chewie put down the young boy and gave a sad whine. Just then Luke's ship could be seen and Ben turned to his mother and he could see tears starting to form in her eyes. Ben stood tall as he was almost eye level with her these days. He didn't want to leave but knew there was a call. Leia then smiled at him letting him know this was ok.
"Ben, my Ben," She continued to smile and placed both hands on his cheeks and they pressed their foreheads together and then Leia kissed his. "You are the greatest thing I've ever done." Her voice was a whisper and Ben started to cry a little. "You're going to be an amazing Jedi." They pulled away as Leia wiped some of the tears away from his face. "I love you Ben Solo." Ben gulped knowing he won't see his mother for a long time.
"Me too mom." He meant to say he loved her and that's how he said it much like his father. Just then he grabbed his bags and turned around as Luke started towards him. Luke met up with Ben and patted his shoulder as the young boy went to board the ship. Luke then met up with Leia and they stood face to face.
"Where's Han?" Luke asked as Chewie was there but they were missing someone.
"I don't think he can bare it right now." Leia was honest and Luke nodded but something else concerned her. "Luke, I feel,"
"Me too." Luke jumped in. "I feel it too, something…dark and it's around Ben." Leia nodded knowing she wasn't alone. Luke placed his hands on Leia's shoulders assuring her this all going to be ok.
"You'll take care of him?" She asked and Luke smiled meaning yes. "Take care of my son." She begged and then the twins shared a hug. Leia let out a sob because she was afraid. "You'll train him, train him harder than any Jedi?" She asked and Luke nodded as they pulled away. Luke wanted to train Ben in such a way of the Force to pass down the Skywalker legacy, that mighty blood.
Ben looked out the window seeing the ship ascending away from the planet. He looked to his mother and Chewie knowing the next time he sees them he'll be a Jedi, he'll be a man. Ben held his hand up to the window as he can see Chewie let out a roar and Leia waved good-bye. Ben pressed his forehead to the window seeing the ground disappear, as he was off and about to face the galaxy. But then there was a roar as he looked up and the Falcon flew side by side with Luke's ship. And in the cockpit of the Falcon he saw his father. The Falcon peeled away as Luke's ship started for the stars. He couldn't help but let a few tears out. Just then he felt a hand on his shoulder and looked over seeing his uncle, his new teacher and master. Luke's eyes were so reassuring as he squatted down next to Ben.
"I will train you Ben to the best of my abilities. I won't fail that." Luke declared and Ben nodded. But Luke was his only uncle and leaned in pulling Ben in for a hug, a much needed hug by family.
Ben woke up in the middle of the night and felt tears in his eyes. He sat up and wiped them away, why was he crying? He looked over seeing Rey was asleep so he got out of bed and put on a tunic and decided to walk the base a bit. He found his way to the hanger and heard the flurry going on outside. The ships outside were anchored and there will be frost on the ground when everyone wakes up.
Ben just listened to the storm going on outside and how quiet the base was. He stood there in the dark as he's done growing up. He would stand in the dark and listen to it. Even now, it called to him but not with the urgency it once did. Maybe now he can ignore it with Rey here. Maybe because the light was equal in it, the dark was canceled out at times. But it still called, it still whispered and he still can listen. He felt it circling around him but once he closed his eyes and took in a deep breath the whispering stopped.
Ben then took a knee to the floor looking up into the hanger seeing nothing but darkness. He can hear the cables slightly swaying as the wind raged on outside. He was truly alone at the moment and part of him missed it. That solitary feeling when he was alone with only himself and his thoughts were some of the best moments. No one could hurt him when he was alone and at times it was better. Being in the dark he could see so much more clearer than seeing the light. Ben rested his forearm over the bended knee for a moment to relish in silence. He closed his eyes taking in another deep breath taking it in. The noises in head were gone and it was all quiet.
Luke walked side by side with Ben through the new Jedi Temple. The place had people and species of all kinds walking around in the traditional Jedi robes. Ben walked among them, his legacy that dated back further than his grandfather, going back generations. He was a product of the Force; he was born from it more than anyone else was. He followed Luke into a room and looked around.
"This is what I have managed to recover from the Empire's archives." Luke stepped to the computer and turned it on and an image of Darth Vader came up. "Leia wanted to wait until you were old enough to know but…" Luke sighed and looked to his nephew. "Yes, Vader is your grandfather, my father. But he wasn't always a bad person. He was tempted by the Darkside and fell to it. Before that, he was Anakin Skywalker, a Jedi Knight, a war hero. He was a Commander in the Clone Wars. He and his former Master and friend Obi-Wan fought side by side in that war. He was even a member of the Jedi Council then."
Ben looked to the man that the galaxy had feared for a long time. Before being a monster he was a man. The screen then turned off as Luke stood before his nephew. "The Force is strong in my family; my father had it, I have it, your mother has it and now you have that power too. But Vader…Vader is not your legacy, Skywalker is." Luke finished.
Ben then rose to his feet standing there in the dark and started back to the quarters but took his time walking there enjoying the peace. Once he reached his and Rey's room and went inside he stayed at the far wall. He looked to the direction of the bed but he didn't move. He lowered himself to the floor and felt this flood of anger. Luke promised him that he would not fail him but in the end he tried to kill him, his own master and uncle tried to kill him.
Ben piloted the ship out as he left the Temple burning. That rage he let out against everyone it was this release, this strength. He had two choices to take, be a Skywalker or Vader. That call, that voice in his head that whispered, it was finally yelling. Just when he thought maybe he found his place he has to leave. No one wanted him so he was going to go where he was wanted. He followed his feelings, his gut as he took seven other students with him. They vowed to follow him and he spared them for it.
The little ship appeared before a Star Destroyer and they flew in not knowing what waited them, maybe death. Ben piloted the cruiser into the hanger and landed. He took a moment to steady himself and got up from the pilot chair and left the cruiser first and a tall skinny being all in gold stood there waiting. His face was disfigured as if he has seen many battles. Ben then stood there and he should be nervous, he should feel fear but he didn't.
"Young Solo." The being greeted the teenager. Now Ben had a face to the voice that was in his head. The being walked to him and Ben and for once he felt like he actually belonged right where he stood. "Welcome." Ben looked up to the creature as it reached out and placing a gentle hand on Ben's shoulder. He then brought Ben to his side and they walked together. But in Ben's head he can hear Luke, Luke cried out to Ben but then in a moment Ben closed his uncle off. In his mind he slammed the Force down and felt free as he walked side by side with his new Master.
Ben looked back to the bed where Rey slept and continued to sit there on the ground. He didn't have the urge to move though. A long time ago he wanted to be a Jedi and does that still hold true today? No, it did not. He didn't want to be a Sith either he had no idea what he wanted or who he was. He was in search of who he was his entire life and he still hasn't found the answer yet. Even as the Resistance Commander he didn't know who he was.
Was he Ben Solo? Was he a Skywalker? Was he Kylo Ren? Who was he? Rey knew who she was, she has declared it and is proud of it. But him, who would he be proud to be declared as? He continued to sit there thinking how many people wanted him dead, wanted him for his name, his title, his blood. His father was right, Snoke was only using him for his powers, he was manipulated by the Darkside. But it stilled called to him. But then there was the Resistance.
Maybe the only reason why the Resistance has put up with him this long is for his abilities and knowledge. People wanted his name, wanted him to win this war no matter the side. But what did he want? Where does he see himself standing in this? Where is his place in the galaxy? Maybe it was everywhere and nowhere at the same time.
He felt like he was belonging here the most especially in the last few months. At first the people watched him closely ready to fire their blasters at him. But as the months wore on it changed, people patted his shoulder, they called him by his name and they didn't flinch at him or show fear. He can sit at their table and eat with them and he was welcomed. The Order never did welcome him; he was there because Snoke put him there. He was feared when walking the halls and he would sit alone in the dark never at a table with others.
But in this huge galaxy, where does he stand? Does his name and blood define him or will he make his own destiny. He can choose who he was going to be, what he wanted in this life and maybe in the next. He can choose his name just like Luke taught him; he can make his own legacy. He can choose everything he wanted, no one else could and then it hit him. That day in the throne room he could have sat on the chair. He could have declared himself as the Supreme Leader, ruled the galaxy. But he didn't he walked away from everything he thought he wanted, what was shaped in his head to be. He took the hand of another, followed that person on his own. He made that choice to walk away.
Ben then looked to the bed in the dark room realizing that choice he made that day nearly a year ago. He never wanted the throne, never wanted to any of this. The person asleep in the bed across the way is what he wanted. He wanted peace; he desired it. He wanted to be free of pain and she gave it. Feeling her hand to his both in the Force and in the throne room that longing of belonging, purpose and love, she gave it, all of it.
Ben slowly got up and walked to the bed seeing Rey asleep and sat on the edge of the bed and pushed aside some of her hair. He had one thing that wouldn't leave him or betray him. He could feel it, so many times she could have walked away and now she has chosen to fight side by side with him even now to sleep side by side with him. She may even have chosen to die for him. Ben continued to watch her sleep realizing he had a true friend. Maybe the galaxy wasn't worth fighting for anymore but Rey was. Ben leaned in and found her in the Force and she slowly stirred. Rey rolled over looking up at Ben seeing his eyes.
"Are you ok?" She asked in a whisper and he was honest and shook his head no.
"I still feel it Rey, the pull." He answered and Rey sat up to meet him. "I don't know…I don't know why but I've been dreaming. Dreaming about Han when I was a boy." Rey listened to him. "And just now, I felt the dark again." Rey reached out placing a hand to his cheek. "Why?" But Rey didn't know why and she shook her head. Ben then looked away. "You know, you shot first." Then looked back to her, his face the straight and narrow like when they first met. "You weren't afraid. Why?"
Rey thought back to that day wondering why she wasn't afraid, well she was but it wasn't all because of him. She didn't fear him like everyone else does. Maybe when they connected in the Force and she saw his fears she knew she didn't have to completely fear him. And as she broke down his walls there wasn't anything to fear. He was still that little boy, unsure who wanted to keep him.
"Because I'm afraid too." Rey answered his question. She had her own fears and doubts. She still feared loneness. She feared of being forgotten. Maybe that's why they connected the way they have. The both feared loneness. They had trauma and in that trauma they had a level of respect for on another as enemies and allies. Maybe that's why they balanced one another out, they knew what true fear was, it was loneness, it was being alone. Rey scooted closer to Ben and then swung a leg over his lap and he pulled her closer. "We're all afraid Ben, everyone. Everyone has a reason." She then placed a hand on his face covering his scar. "You're not alone."
"Neither are you." He added and she leaned in for a kiss. They've come a long way since touching fingertips through the Force. Ben pulled her even closer; he wanted to feel something else. He wanted to wash away this fear, the whispers and the memories. He pulled Rey in for a deeper kiss. She then pushed him back with a little bit of force and he laid on the bed and she hovered over him, their faces barely touching. She was the only one who understood him and vise versa. That hover, that barely there feeling she was giving him would drive him crazy soon.
He wanted to be closer to her even though he still believes he doesn't deserve her. He felt he didn't deserve to live through that infection that nearly killed him. But he was still here for a reason. Ben tucked some of her hair behind her ear and Rey leaned in kissing him ever so slightly and it was making him impatient as she sat up and he placed his hands on her hips keeping her there. Rey removed her loose shirt and tossed it away. Ben took a moment to admire her as she leaned in placing a deep kiss to him. Ben wrapped both arms around her pulling her closer. He let out a grunt feeling her kissing his neck and he was already loosing control. But he knew she was going to take the wheel on this and he wanted her to.
Rey pulled away looking at him and let a smile form slightly on her face. She then pushed aside some his hair so she can see him fully. Ben reached out placing his hand on her cheek. She can feel his warmth as she leaned. She then went back took hovering over his face, letting the tip of her nose barely touch him, letting the lightest kisses make contact with his skin. She then kissed him again and reached down pulling his shirt off of him. She then started a warm trail of kisses down his neck, to his collarbone, his shoulder and to bare his chest. Ben wanted more as he laid there and closed his eyes taking in all the sensations she was giving him. He let it all go, the pain, the anger and the fear. He opened himself in the Force to enhance what Rey was making him feel. He can see into her mind what she was planning and he let out whimper. She was the only one who can make Kylo Ren go into submission and he only submitted to her.
Ben felt her lips back on his again and deep hungry kiss. At least he had her to confide in, to be comforted by no matter how any of this ended. Rey pulled away and went back to kissing his neck and with the Force she pulled away what was keeping them apart completely. Rey sat back up and Ben looked to her as she rocked on his hips. Ben looked to her and she saw in eyes this sense of resolve and he closed his eyes to just enjoy the pleasures of the flesh.
Ben sat up pulling her in and kissed her and then buried his head into her chest as felt the passion rising between them as she continued to ride him. He didn't hold back the grunts and moans as he allowed all his defenses to breakdown for her. The fleeting moments he can remember growing up alone disappeared as he went to devour Rey's neck pulling as close as he could. Maybe he never really understood this life and up until now he was afraid to open his eyes to anything. Maybe he didn't deserve this life he was living with her now. Maybe heaven won't shine a light down on him but Rey did. She made him understand life just a little bit, she helped him to open his eyes and she was that small little light of heaven that shined on him. She gave him the peace he desired.
Ben held Rey closer as he stared to tremble and she wrapped both arms around him keeping him close, shielding him from everything out there that he feared. She can hear him breathing heavily against her body and whatever he was feeling prior to this was gone.
Ben then looked up to her and she down to him. Rey put her forehead to his and gently kissed him. Ben pulled her closer and gently pulled her to bed so now he hovered over her while she twirled a finger in his hair. They just stared at one another for a moment letting their eyes speak. Ben leaned in for a deep kiss trying to lengthen the moment, stretching out the night so he can continue to stay numb. Rey pulled him closer as they continued to kiss and then pulled him into a hug as he complied and Rey just held him a little tighter in the night.
Ben sat on the mountaintop breathing in the cold morning as the sun rose. The darkness always disappeared as the light took over. Ben sat there looking to off to the horizon and sat in the Force. He was still looking for his place in this. Where does he fit into the story of this galaxy or is it his name and power that defines him? Ben closed his eyes again allowing the Force to speak. He quieted down his thoughts, quieted his breathing and listened.
The hours had pass by and the pain never let up. But something about this wave was different though. She felt something different about it. And within a moment she heard his cries fill the room. Leia let out sobs seeing a little baby being held in front of her. She looked to Han and he was smiling, he was smiling at his son. The medical person wrapped the little baby in a blanket and handed him to his mother. Leia held the little baby and smiled seeing him. His crying stopped knowing he was in his mother's arms. Han then placed his hand on his head that covered it completely realizing how the baby was so tiny.
"What are we going to name him?" Han asked looking to Leia as they never agreed or even discussed a name. Trying to put back together a galaxy took over most of the time. Leia then looked to the little face, the wide brown eyes looking around trying to gather his surroundings. What name can she give her son? It had to be a strong name, a name that stood for something.
"Ben," She whispered looking at the baby and it's little eyes met back up with hers. "My little hope, Ben," Leia smiled.
A/N: Try not to cry…cry a lot. I've been wanting to put in little moments of Ben's past as more information is coming out with the books. His childhood was so sad but yet happy. It makes you really feel for him and understand his pain and why he became Kylo Ren. This was a little bit of a filler chapter and I was going to have these moments spread out over time but I thought, no one big chapter. We need to feel Ben's pain and what drives him. Just like Rey, he doesn't know where he belongs in this. Rey has given him an answer where he belongs.
Now that you've cried and feel for Ben and hope when this is all over both this story and the next movie, because I'm rooting for him too; what's next? They're recreating the hyperspace tracking system, Ben and Rey are even closer, we have the team of six, what's happening next?
What do you guys think so far? What are you liking so far? What would you like to see? What are you thinking will happen next? Let's discuss.
Thank you for reading, following and commenting, you guess are awesome.