A/N: Chapter 8! finally up! I had no idea I could get this story so far! I might actually get in a 10th chapter for once! yes! And thank you all so much for reviewing I am so thankful! Well, time to roll up the sleeves and get TYPING! Wish me luck!
A Yuki POV (Point of view) of characters coming up! Songfic chapter!
†he Ça† Reaper
chapter 8: The Aftermath: Yuki
I sat by my window, just watching the falling rain. It had been raining for at least a week and a half. It was like someone was crying from their broken heart. Though how could I blame whoever was? I had made a mistake that day. I suppose it was my uncontrollable anger.. Or was it just that I wanted to feel secure? That I wanted to protect Miss Honda? I was not sure then, nor am I sure now. But what I do know, is that I had done the wrong thing. Because now there is an unbreakable gap between the three of us.
I see her everyday, but she's not smiling anymore. She doesn't make meals or do chores either, though she does occasionally to pass the time. I am certain she hopes that he'll come back. But do I want him to come back? That is a question not even myself can answer.
Was this how it was with me and Ayame? Was this how he felt deep inside? The sadness... Why couldn't I see it? Naturally now it occurs to me to think about the past, and what I did... I knew it was wrong. Hell, even Shigure has his blue periods at times like these.
I saw Kyou from time to time. But we never talked.. At all. And if we saw eachother, I would tighten my grip on Tohru's hand and walk right on past him as I glared. But at those times.. Deep inside? I wanted to reach out and apologize for all the pain I put the two through. But I know that he.. Kyou.. can never forgive me for what I've done. Because I knew... Deep inside..
I knew he loved her. And I knew she loved him. But I ignored that. And I kicked him out, tearing them both apart from eachother. I thought at first that he deserved it. But I also knew that it was wrong of me to take such matters into my own hands and break the hearts of the people I knew.
I also knew that the only reason I decided to kick him out was for revenge apun Ayame. That was it, and only it. At the moment Tohru was only another reason to kick him out. But the main reason was because it was his fault that my brother died.
I sighed and looked away from my window. While looking away I closed it and latched it shut, pulling the curtains together and walking out of my room. I walked past Kyou's old room on my way to the stairs. I looked in for only a moment. I was about to continue on when I saw Tohru standing on the balcony outside his room. I took a step into the domain of that cat. I wanted it to be ANY room other than this one.
I walked into the balcony, slowly approaching as to respect her personal space. " Miss Honda? Are you alright?" I asked. Even though I knew very well that she wasn't. The response she gave me was a small shrug. I sighed and turned away. " Yuki-kun?" I heard her say quietly, I looked back at her. " Hai?" I asked.
She didn't face me, she didn't even stand straight. " Do you think.. That one day... Kyou-kun will come back?" She asked. I looked at her sadly. And answered with the only thing I could, the answer that I only knew to be true. " I... Don't know.." I said. I really didn't know.
Her eyes saddened more, though lately she had looked that way a lot. Ever since Kyou had left. " Miss Honda... I really don't know... I know its hard but don't let it bother you... He may never come back... And I'm sorry for that Tohru... I really am.." I told her sadly. She whirled looking at me. " How are you sorry! You told him to leave!" She yelled at me. I could see the forming tears within her eyes.
I sighed and looked away. I knew that she would react that way. If her snappish anger mood had been before Kyou had left, it would have been uncalled for and entirely unreal for her demeanor. But now, it was somehow unsurprising for this to change her moods. And somehow I wished, that her demeanor had never changed...
I sighed walking out and slowly headed to my room, leaving her alone on Kyou's old balcony. Strangest thing for me to still consider that room his. I closed my door and locked it so that Shigure wouldn't barge in unexpectedly. I turned my small stereo on and slowly plopped down into a sitting position on my bed. I leaned back, hands on the bed behind me for support as I looked up at the ceiling. I sighed and laid back, head in my hands as I heard a song come up.
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
I looked over at the stereo. I felt that same way... I admit that I wasn't a perfect person.. There were things I wish I didn't do..
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
I did learn alot from my mistakes. I had never meant to hurt Tohru and Kyou like that. But I had been blinded by my own rage and guilt of not being there for Ayame.
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
I had felt so depressed. I regretted my decisions so much... But whats done is done... I could never forget. And it's something I shouldn't ever forget, either.
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
I put them both through so much pain. I couldn't wish anymore to take their pain away. That's how much I regretted it.
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear
I knew they could never forget me... But I had to at least admit that I was sorry. That I wanted to much to ease their pain.
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
I wanted to change who I was. And I had my reasons to... a good, was it a good reason to? Did I deserve to?
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You
I wanted to start over...
and the reason is You
I had to start over...
and the reason is You
I needed to start over!
and the reason is You
Because...
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
Because... I needed to know...
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
Because... because I wanted to know...
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
Because if I didn't know...
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I don't know what I would do...
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
And what I wanted to know... What I needed to know...
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
Was wether or not you, Kyou, would, or could, forgive.. For what I had done...
End...
A/N: Well there you have it. Chapter 8: "The Aftermath: Yuki" finally up! Yay! please read and review... By the time you read this I'll probably almost be done with chap 9. Just to let you know that theres only gonna be 10 chapters. but do not fear! I am gonna make a sequal. Don't know how long it will last though. But wish me luck! n.n
Credits:
The Cat Reaper... Aya Hinata (rei/me)
The Reason... Hoobastank
Yuki POV... Aya Hinata...
Yuki... Natsuki Takaya.
Tohru's angry mood... Aya Hinata.
Next up! Chapter 9: " The Aftermath: Tohru "
Cya then!