A/N: As always, much thanks to gracie55 for the beta. And, even though they wouldn't be caught dead reading a GG fic, the "de-guttin'" is Mark's, and the dead deer is Dave's.

4: De-guttin'!

He didn't know that his mother (how long had it been since he had thought of her that way?) had it in her to look radiant. Here she is, though, a Juliet coming for her Romeo, unhindered by stars and fate, beaming at her "three guys." Luke, finally sitting beside Lorelai, where he belongs; TJ, shutting up for the first time all day about his "air pants," eyes fixated on her; and Jess, letting himself give in, just a little, to his secret, childlike, long-buried hope that his mother might finally be happy.

Yeah, this could be good. TJ may not be the brightest, most romantic, most practical man out there, but at least this wedding is a celebration. The other ones were… Jess doesn't even know how to describe them. A sidelong comment as he ran out the door to school. "By the way, Jess, we got married at City Hall yesterday." A drunk couple stumbling in through the front door, trying to get inside without falling down. "I doooooooo!" The door banged. Laughter, voices, a key ring falling to the ground, a neighboring apartment door opening and a voice yelling at them to shut up. A hand on his shoulder, shaking him awake (as if their breath wouldn't have woken him if he hadn't only been pretending, anyways) from his cocoon on the couch in front of the TV. "You've got a new daddy, Jess!"

Celebrations? Hardly. Black mark on the family name is more like it. Nothing serious, sacred, romantic, or lasting. No, those weddings were just pit stops on the road to a breakdown. This one, though… This is the first time she's actually planned something, invited Luke, chosen people to celebrate with. They may be weird, but Jess is beginning to realize that his mother finally has the family she never acknowledged before.

She reaches the end of the aisle where he's standing, and through it all, he's kept his patented Jess-smirk on his face, not yet ready for softness, but there's a part of him that could, if he'd let it, be touched by the happiness of the day. Lately, he has begun to feel towards Liz what he imagines that Luke has felt towards him over the past three years: a quiet desperation that she will make the right choices, an unspoken, staunch belief in her ability to do something good with her life, a fierce pride in the little ways that he sees her change, and an undying hope that somehow, despite everything, she'll turn out okay.

When did the roles of parent and child begin to reverse themselves?

She steps off her carriage and takes his arm, beaming. The guests stand, and Jess can't decide whether he should feel threatened or welcome. Despite the significant percentage of Ren Faire freaks, Stars Hollow's population is liberally represented, and although Jess feels like a prisoner walking through an accusing crowd to his execution, they're not pointing fingers or throwing things. In fact, they're smiling.

He holds his hand awkwardly in mid-air as they take their first few steps down the aisle. "Get a grip, Mariano. Relax. Okay. Arm. Offer it to her. And now you look like an idiot," he berates himself silently. "Do something with your hand." He settles on tucking in, resting it on his chest. "Okay. Less of an idiot. Now. Find somewhere to look. It's not a long walk."

Scan the crowd? No. It's not his wedding day--he doesn't need to beam at the teary faces of every guest. Look at the front? No. TJ and his brother. Definitely don't need to make meaningful eye contact with either of them. Look at his feet? Best option yet, but for all his complaining, he's really not trying to be sullen today, and this, if anything, requires any effort he'll give. Eye contact with Luke? Good, but Luke's giving Liz a wink, and... looking past Liz, meeting Jess' eye, giving him a small half-smile.

And they've made it all the way down the aisle. Huh. That wasn't so bad. Didn't take that long. Liz kisses Jess' cheek, and the five-year-old in him instinctively tries to draws back.

"Try harder," he mutters to himself, holding his muscles in check, keeping them from the involuntary flinch he feels. Liz beams, TJ gives his version of a tender, yet manly, moment, and Jess moves to his seat in the front row, directly in front of Lorelai and Luke. Only then does he give in to the overwhelming urge to wipe his face, but as he raises his hand to his cheek, his own childish voice fills his head, and he sees his tiny face glower in a not-yet-perfected version of his patented scowl.

Ewwww! I've got cooties! Girl germs! Mommy, that's de-guttin! I'm wiping off your slobbery kisses right now." A small fist scrubbed the skin on the cheek and the big brown eyes crossed in an effort to look as closely at said cheek as possible.

"You can never scrub off my kisses, J. They're stuck on there for good." She leaned in closer, beckoning him with one finger. "Can I tell you a secret, J?"

He shook his head, an unruly mop of curls flopping from side to side, but she grabbed his hand and pulled him in, tickling his ribs. He kicked and tickled back, and they fell to the floor in a heap of little-boy limbs and mommy-hugs. When he caught his breath, he propped himself up on a small, slightly skinned elbow. "What's the secret?"

She leaned down to eye level and whispered, "Mommy-kisses are the strongest kisses ever. You can never wipe them off, because even when you try, all you're doing is rubbing them in deeper."

Jess slowly takes his hand away from his cheek. He hasn't thought about that day in years. It must have lodged itself deep inside his mind, though, because one more memory surfaces in vivid detail. That day, Liz' breath smelled like it does today--slightly minty, very faintly of tea, and clean. Those two mommy-kisses have been two of the very few that Jess can ever remember being untainted by beer or cigarettes or pot or something else that took his mommy away from him.

He's surprised to feel a tightening behind his eyes and a choking in his throat, sensations that haven't hit him in years, especially when it relates to Liz. He stopped letting himself cry because of her when she stopped giving him the mommy-kisses that he used to love, despite the cheek-rubbing and squeals of protest.

Thankfully, though, before he can embarrass himself in front of the entire town, the minstrel comes strolling in with his guitar, and, like a bunch of junior high girls who just keep laughing at the fact that they're laughing so hard over nothing, Jess, Luke, and Lorelai are lost. Every time he hears them try to stifle their laughter, it makes it harder for him to keep a straight face, and when Lorelai starts listing calamities, it's all Jess can do to keep from turning around and whispering, "Dead puppies. A dead deer in the middle of the road. Beheaded Barbie dolls." This definitely has the potential for a great game of one-upmanship. Lorelai's wit, Luke's pessimism, and Jess' cynicism? They could be here all afternoon.

And this celebrates the life that Jess' mom and his "new dad" are beginning? For once, he's thankful she didn't find herself and settle down when he was a kid—he's not sure which would have been worse; having the pseudo-dad figures that marched in and out of the house, or having TJ and his etch-a-sketch around permanently. He probably would have moved in with Luke a lot sooner, and of his own volition, in that case.

But Liz is speaking, reciting her vows, looking at TJ with eyes that Jess has never seen in her face before. "My heart just pours out to you. You have been so good to me and for me. I don't know where I'd be without you. I'd be worse off, I know that. You're something else."

And even though he still has the image to keep up and he can't actually let himself react, with that, Jess somehow knows that this will be a good thing.