Welcome to the chapter I bashed my head against for a month.
Warnings for Aburame Anatomy, Headcanon, Psuedo-Science Genetics, Hallucinations, Cuddling Under The Influence and Yuyu is Bad At Feelings.
And experimentation with text on the part of the author.
Poison: Lotus Skin
A very small overcoat with large red buttons darts towards us with unprecedented speed as the doors to the Aburame Compound close behind Yuyu and myself. Since nobody else (visibly)reacts, I don't either, but watch with some trepidation as the young child grabs onto Yuyu's coat and proceeds to grip it tight in one grubby fist, trailing after us.
Don't get me wrong, Yuyu is definitely a really nice person once you get to know her, but not really the sort of person you can picture being good with small children. Attempting to eat the local Jinchuuriki notwithstanding.
I'm just glad that she and Itachi seem to have found some common ground.
"Hold this," Yuyu asks softly, detaching the child from her person and giving them a push in my direction. The child looks up at her as they dig their heels in, eyes wide behind the dark glasses.
"Yes, I can manage," she scoffs in answer to whatever unvoiced question passed between them. "Go on."
Placated, the child turns to me and holds up their arms with a quiet "up, please".
Okay?
They're about six years old, I'd guess, and much lighter than some things I've carried. There's a strange kikaichu sat inside the collar of his coat though. Stumpy legs and a pyramidal hump and coarse fur-that-probably-isn't and it's the size of a damn kitten. It's the same type that Yuyu's grandmother has, if I'm not mistaken. Strange; why would such a young child have one?
There's probably a very good reason for it.
I'd love to speculate and ask questions and all that, but honestly? I just want to sleep. I didn't sleep well last night and I'm still trying to figure out who might have done this. Trying to unravel conspiracy stuff takes it out of you.
As we wend our way into the subterranean parts I vaguely remember walking before, I turn to the child in my arms. "So, what's your name, kid?"
"Shino Aburame."
Ah.
Huh.
Hm.
Kind of cute; all fluffy hair and high collar. Hard to think that he's a deadly killing machine and strategist in the making. Nope, that just doubles the cute.
"Nice to meet you, Shino-kun. Hey, haven't you been missing the Academy for a while now?" He stiffens, and buries his face in the crease of my shoulder. Beside us, Yuyu has tensed as well.
"Eh, I get it; I don't really want to detail the past few days either." Damn, it was only yesterday morning I found Kakashi. Time flies, doesn't it?. "Forget I said anything."
"No, ask," Yuyu breaks in. "But later, when other things have been said. You are staying here for your safety, yes, but there are things that will be revealed to you shortly."
Oh, right; I was originally called here for some briefing thing. I'd completely forgotten about that. "Oh, sure. You, ah...what's wrong?"
"I will not be attending with you. Just...tell me everything afterwards, okay?" We stop outside of a large door.
"Yeah, got it," I nod. "Hey, Shino-kun, time to get down now."
Once set on the floor, he hurries over to Yuyu again, who looks down at him. "Come." She throws a parting glance at me as they leave. I can only nod again and half-raise my hand in an aborted wave, before the door opens in invitation.
Ibiki Morino steps out. "Tori-ue-sama is waiting for you. And no, I don't know what she wants to talk to you about, but I wouldn't worry. Too much."
Things click into place. "You're her Soldier, aren't you? That...kind of makes sense." He flicks his gaze meaningfully, and I take the hint.
The door shuts behind me, plunging the room into darkness before bulbs flicker into a dull amber half-light. The rustle of kikaichu is omnipresent, but there are no black shapes moving over the surfaces. Instead, there are mismatched things set into the wall itself, at regular intervals as if on display. Stepping over to one, I see that it's a piece of chitin the size of my arm, pitted and scratched and sheen faded into a greyed matt-black.
Hoo boy; that came from a big insect.
The slight shuffle of silk alerts me to Yuyu's grandmother's presence.
"My my. You know that you protect my granddaughter, yes? It will not be easy. But she has chosen well; you rose to her defence the last time we met."
"How could I not have?" I ask, honestly. "She's my friend. I'd protect all of my friends."
"Even if they were monsters?"
What.
A familiar lax and liquid fury surges through me. "I do not care for these insinuations," I snarl, careful to keep my eyes neutrally fixed on the wall.
"Maybe I misspoke; she is integrally different. She does not think as normal people do. She is not built as normal people are." She fixes me with an odd sideways stare. "But then again, in these things you are kindred spirits."
"I am a monster," I admit. "I was not ignorant or misled; I knew what I was doing." It feels good, to speak that fact in particular to myself, to someone else. "But I am a monster who loves, and is loved. Innocence is not my wealth and never has been; love, though, can be."
She gestures for me to follow, and we walk deeper down the hallway. It slopes ever so slightly down and to the left, so the door is soon out of sight.
"Acceptable," Kusatori pronounces. "I wished to assess you by yourself. My my; you have settled more, since Hatake-san took you on."
Shrug. "I suppose I have. I haven't really noticed, with the recent crisis and all. Thanks for letting me stay over, by the way."
Taking a pull from her pipe, the smoke surges faintly through the air, glowing in the dim light of the bulbs. "Not me you should be thanking; Yuyu-chan has more say than you think. As do you. I shall educate you on the political ramifications...tomorrow. You are tired. But the biological factors cannot wait."
The words 'biological factors' catch in my craw. "I'm not automatically...betrothed...am I? Because that I did not agree to and I'm already married."
"Technically," Itachi suddenly hissed under his breath for no apparent reason. He just had the overwhelming urge to clarify something, somewhere.
A shake of the head. "My my. No, although it is not unheard of for a Queen to become involved with her soldier. These things you need to know are far more...intrinsic. My point; you are familiar with human biology, yes?"
"Comes with the territory. But only in a broad sense; don't ask me to memorise protein chains or tell you the exact process of cell division."
"I am concerned about her determination to pursue Front-Line combat. She knows she does not have the ability for it. I am concerned about what she would sacrifice to attain it."
What does this have to do with human bio...oh. Oh. Ooooohhhh no. "You believe she'll start self-modifying." Because...I can see it happening. "Is...is that a bad thing?"
She gestures to...the wall? "You have evidence; decide for yourself."
The black things in the wall. The chitin.
From a big kikaichu.
Human-sized kikaichu.
Or maybe, not kikaichu.
"Those are-"
"My my. Past Queens, yes. That one in particular is my Aunt's hip." She snorts quietly under her breath, before catching herself.
"It happens mostly as a matter of course, over a Queen's lifespan. Damage is taken, or limbs fail from age and disease, and the kikaichu will enact...repairs, to save the future of their symbiosis. But, it is possible for a Queen to...hasten this process. And a skilled gene-wright, such as my granddaughter, could make further...alterations."
My imagination oh-so unhelpfully fills in the blanks. My past-life memories of Lovecraft in pop culture does not help. My this-life memories really do not help:
A slight form clad in hard curves of gleaming black, gossamer-thin wings fluttering as spikes bristle in poison-bright colours. A field of bulging green egg-sacs disgorging swarm upon swarm of kikaichu ready to devour all for Hive and Queen. Organs shifting and flesh reknitting as a hard shell branches over. Compound eyes and bristling mouth-parts glistening blue-black...
A frustrated little girl who likes karinto and butterfly pasta and wanted Kakashi-Shishou's signature. Who eats cheesecake with a really cute nomming sound. Who threatens people she really trusts because she has a dark sense of humour.
"If you wanted to scare me, you succeeded," I breathe. "Thank you for the information." I can't help it; I smile tentatively. "She could be terrifying, couldn't she?"
Shibi Aburame bartered away one of the children. Torune was such a sweet, patient child, and now he was gone. Into the vast labyrinth under Konoha, into Danzo Shimura's machinations. Torune, or Shino; either way, a loss.(She is oddly comforted by the fact that she herself cannot choose between them.)
She cannot follow. Her kikaichu are repelled by wards and seals without number.(How many Aburame does he have under his control, to know how to safeguard against her Clan?)
Yuyu feels the loss somewhere just out of her vision like a bruise. But like a bruise, it shall fade without a sign of it ever having been and she does not like it. Here, close to other Aburame, she is surrounded by echoes of loss and confusion that ground within her like a lightning rod with something like an itch in her throat and she runs it through her hands and teeth and takes note of how it feels. Savouring it, committing it to memory.
(A debt unpaid, a reckoning to come, she can be patient, she will be ruthless.)
Dulled, it pools like choked-dust spiderweb strung over her ribs. Tight and heavy with an occasional twinge. It is no longer the strained, smouldering wrath that had stung her into hunger. She had barely diverted it onto the local wildlife and even then she felt shame at it. She does not like shame and never wants to feel it again. She is glad that Kimimaro was on a mission; she would not have liked him to see her as she had been.
(Then her overbearing grandmother had assigned Ibiki as a chaperone to and from the Academy; as if she hadn't learned her lesson of her own accord. Honestly.)
The Uchiha's barbed words stick to the webs inside her chest. (Itachi Uchiha, the prodigy, had not dared to look at her. Had not dared to look at the truth of her flesh and chakra. His discomfort, her power, is a tight ripple of satisfaction. So why this unease?)
The thoughts cling, burrow like ticks.
Kimimaro was valuable, yes. A desirable Soldier, true. She had anticipated many long periods of building up his trust and friendship; doing her Queen's role in becoming a support in whatever he needed.(She cursed herself as a fool for not noticing his Henge sooner, before he forgot to don it that day at the Academy.) She had backed off as he seemed to fix himself.
(She had not expected him to offer her his trust.) He did not fit. He reacted the wrong way. He forgave her mistakes. He did not fear her.
He did not fear her.
Insane.
(Frustration. Get a reaction, stop smiling at me like that, stop being nice to me, love me, fear me, adore me and despair, what did I ever do to deserve you?)
(The monitor kikaichu had been for his benefit, initially for a check-up but he hadn't mentioned the degenerative disease slowly being driven out of his immune system. Idiot boy.) She had overstepped boundaries. (But apologies had been proffered, accepted, learned from.) She had done strange(by human-standard) things in his presence. (Accepted, moved past, treated with polite curiosity.)
He valued truth. He did not pry for secrets.
He liked control.(In that she could relate completely.) He liked keeping track of those around him.
He trusted her.
(Would he trust her still, after this?)
She knows she herself is not entirely...right. Many human behaviours only make sense after careful dissection and explanation; many she can only affectate. Equal to that is her heritage, the far-more malleable body of a Queen Aburame and all the things she can do. (She is not grown yet, but when she is...she will be as vast and beautiful and terrible as the sky.)
Her humanitarian mask has slipped, more than once. Yet, he shows an abnormal level of trust in her. She broke it. Broke him.(Would he ever so much as smile at her again?)
She does not want to tell Kimimaro the truth.
Not because the truth is harmful or disturbing, but...
(She does not ever want to feel distrust from him. She does not know why her stomach turns at that notion.)
A Queen should trust her Soldier. A Soldier should trust his Queen.
She will tell the truth. She will take his reaction as it comes. It is his right; it is her right.
(She desperately wants the Uchiha to be wrong.)
Alerted by one of her grandmother's kikaichu, Yuyu tracks Kimimaro down to collect him. The scroll containing his belongings has been sent to one of her antechambers and a futon set up. Carefully reigning in her nervousness, she guides him there and notes the tentative full-body glance he gives her as they walk.(What was said to him?)
An odd, sharp-beaked pride flutters in her chest when she shows him her workspaces.(One is sealed off to all but her and needs to remain that way.) These kikaichu terrariums contain her works, even the not-so good ones, in a full progression. His eyes light up, dispelling a little of the weariness on his face, and he gently prompts her to tell him about each one; how her ideas led into each other, problems she had encountered and so on and so forth.
She nearly forgets about the strangulating coils of shame in her gut as the pride under her breastbone becomes a little warmer, less sharp.
But tiredness re-establishes it's creeping hold and his focus begins to wander, his words come less often.
He retires to the room and she lingers in her sealed workspace, plucking at her heart and turning it over. Food is brought on trays; one is passed through to Kimimaro and she eats in private herself. Mechanically, absorbed in trying to distract herself.
The egg sac sat upon her workbench has grown. Not in size, but in complexity. Veins thread just under the surface and her hands feel a slow, steady heartbeat when placed upon it's now calloused skin. It is carefully heated by lamps, aerated and moistened with nutrient fluid, and her diligence is beginning to pay off. This one will only be the beginning, but it has been so fraught with possibilities and dangers that now she feels a certain level of attachment towards it.
It was going to be amazing once it hatched; she couldn't wait to show...
Everything kept coming back to Kimimaro. There was no getting away from this, was there? Guilt gnaws incessantly at her insides, fat on fear.
Fuck it shewasdoingitnow!
With enough propriety to knock on the door, she enters at his call and finds him dressed in pyjamas, clearly ready to go to bed. "Oh hi Yuyu, what's the mat-"
(Take a deep breath now...) "I expect that Obaa-san told you, that Aburame females are not...entirely human." she trails off, words falling dead in her throat like moths in flame, wings caught alight and turned to ash. Bitter.
Waiting.
"Why?" Is his question. "Why would that matter?"
Would it?(The truth is so very heavy) Part of her, the part made of raw meat and starving skin, eschews the notion of weakness(of which truth and hence trust are kin) and readily embraces deception if it means food, strength, power.(That part scares her. It is empty.) That part, almost indistinguishable from the mind(instinct) of the kikaichu hives within(inhuman, alien) is the one that urges her to keep Kimimaro close, spin ghosts of friendship and bind him to her side.
Kikaichu do not feel affection. (That is the truth.)
(Some days, Yuyu cannot tell if she is human, or a gestalt in a cage of flesh.)
She is terrible.
(She does not trust him not to fear her) "I do not trust you." It comes out as. "No, I mean...I thought you would be scared of me. I don't want to hurt you, I don't want to be Orochimaru and especially not to you."
"Those Monitor Kikaichu you use to watch my health. Are they still in me?" I inject calm into my voice.
I try to look her in the eyes but she is the one who looks away. "Yes."
"Good. Remember that I trust you to take care of me, as long as you ask first."
Maybe I haven't seen all she is and all she can do.
The only thing I know for sure, is that she has a heart somewhere in there. The amusement, the irritation, the flashes of compassion and inspiration; those are real.
Yuyu turns to leave. "Wait," I say without thinking, and freeze when she stops and turns halfway. "You are terrifying," I admit. "But I wouldn't have you any other way."
She almost seems to deflate, as she reaches up and pulls off her visor. Briefly, she meets my eyes, before her gaze skitters off my form.
He eyes are a bright, burning amber.
"Thank you" she whispers, before vanishing, almost fleeing, into the dark winding corridors beyond my door.
The room is quiet and empty; like her words carved out a hollow in the air.
I go through my usual bedtime rituals of hot drink, some drawing, brushing teeth, toilet and lights out. The usual miniscule discomfort of a different bed, strange pillow and unfamiliar surroundings is easily got over, especially when I'm so tired. Ookami-chan, the wolf plushie Kakashi-Shishou got me, is tucked close to my chest even as I toss and turn to get comfortable; he's a comfort, particularly under these circumstances.
Even so, sleep does not come easy.
Not at all.
Might Gai enters Konoha that night the same way he left it; in a screaming blur of green. Then he collapses, visible blue flames of chakra fading away. The ANBU that tailed him for the final leg of his journey scoop him up, and the box under his arm, and drop him off at the hospital. The box is taken to the Nara Clan compound where it's contents are immediately unpacked.
father father
.
Sakumo Hatake turns around to face him. He smiles.
a lotus blooms in his empty eye sockets
.
The light tastes bitter and heady, like rotting fruit.
.
what do his father's eyes look like?
.
Black water under an endless sky. Everything is tinged pink. Are clouds weeping?
.
water closes over his head
.
His breath is golden oil; liquid metal globules float before him.
.
they sound like SCrEaMInG cattle
.
In their light, he sees roots stretching down towards him.
.
wrap around his arms, his chest
.
Thorns pierce his heart.
.
Hot
Hot
HOT
.
silver BoILs in his throat
.
Don't let him- his father's son- get a- milk from birds and diamonds from a womb- hold it!- pin you open- some room!
.
Break the water's surface.
Lotus blossoms surface too.
Black runs off spreading white petals like tar.
White flowers multiply like diseased pustules, bursting like fireworks.
The stray sparks burn his skin.
Milk pours from his mouth and he chokes.
.
The desiccated husks of dead wasps flit around his head.
He raises sharp swords for fingers to cut them down, but Obito grabs his arm and slams a sword through his sternum.
.
SCrEaMInG
why why why
.
The blade is an oh-so-familiar shade of steel, the crest of a mountain and shining pearl stamped on the vein.
.
.
Don't die!
die
die
Die
dIE
DIE
DIE
.
.
.
Tenzo, frail and thin and young with long hair, pulls the sword from his chest.
A fox screams in the distance.
Obito bursts into a flock of ravens and a single Sharingan falls to the ground where he was, with a wet slap as it bursts.
.
The world is white and cold and bright and burning. Chains hold him to a bed.
No, not chains.
Hands.
-hear me?
He knows that voice.
He breathes deep in the familiar smell of lingering disinfectant.
He knows these chakra signatures.
Everything aches, but he grabs and holds the warm body close despite token struggles which quickly die.
Yes. This is good.
"Shishou? Can you hear me?"
Kimimaro. A low rumble of contentment vibrates through his chest.
His eyes are closed firmly shut against the blinding light, and he feels small fingers, hot and sweaty, take his pulse and feel the rise and fall of his chest and brush his hair back. Such a considerate pup.
"Yeah, okay, I think you're a bit loopy right now. Medic-san just wants to do some checks, okay? Squeeze my hand if that's fine with you."
He squeezes.
"Good. I'll be right here; you can hold me if you want, okay?"
Yeah. That's okay. He has Kimimaro in his arms; everything is gonna be alright.
He becomes more and more aware of himself as the medic-nin pokes and prods his body, that awareness including exactly how much everything hurts, and where they put things.
He hates that. He's always hated that about hospital stays, especially ones with long bouts of unconsciousness. Having tubes inserted, being turned and bathed and changed with little agency in the matter. Like a piece of meat.
He only realises he's growling when the medic-nin freezes and backs away slowly. Good. No more of this. The cold room has suddenly become unbearably hot and the stupid papery-thin shift and stupid thin hospital sheets stick and cling to his legs. And the tubes itch and slide against the sweat on his flesh and-
A smaller hand grasps his own as it goes to tear out all the intrusive things. "No, stop. I get it Shishou, you don't like them, but bear with it. Please, you're in no condition to do anything."
He growls low in his throat in mild warning, only to cease as Kimimaro unexpectedly relaxes into him. Pressing himself into Kakashi's body, face buried in the crook of his neck and arms tight around chest and shoulders.
"Don't you scare me like that ever again."
"Yes, please don't go dying on us again," Inoichi chipped in. "Because the brat would probably find some way to pervert the laws of nature and resurrect you. I do not want to be cleaning up after that."
Kimimaro had obviously been terrorising Inoichi. Ow. Laughing, even a small chuckle, hurt.
"Please can you open your eyes for me, Hatake-san?" The medic-nin interjected. "I need to check your pupil dilation, then I'll be done. Here; I'll turn the lights down."
The almost physical assault on his eyelids halted, with the click of a light switch.
"C'mon, Shishou, get it over with," Kimimaro bargained. "Then you can hug me all you like."
Well, when it was put like that...
Even the dim shadows cut at his eyes, but he merely gritted his teeth and forcefully blinked a few times. His eyelids were heavy and gummed with sleep, but he could see now. Something wasn't quite right though, but he couldn't put his finger on it. And who cared, when he could cuddle Kimimaro all he wanted now? His pup smelt of dried leaves and chemicals and stress and blood-ink. Aburame. Seals. Worry.
But Kakashi was back now, and that worry could go away. Already, knots of tension were unravelling from Kimimaro's bony back.
He let out a low croon, embracing the boy's slender frame.
Why was everyone staring?
"Where the fuck is his Sharingan?!" Inoichi burst out.
"By the way, you've been out for two months," Kimimaro states blankly, igniting a spark of panic in Kakashi's heart, only for Inoichi to hiss.
"No he hasn't, it's only been a few days! Now take this seriously!"
Oh good, he wouldn't have to make up a whole month of Kimimaro-cuddles.
...
Oh, he was really high, wasn't he? Never mind, excuse to cuddle.
High!Kakashi is a possessive cuddle monster; this I decree. Thoughts on the hallucination montage?
For those interested, Kakashi's 'cure' was a plant called fishberry, specifically the picrotoxin, which has historically been used to treat CNS depression caused by barbiturate overdose. It has since fallen out of use. Because of all the side effects coming from the fact that it is also a highly potent neurotoxin.
Also, the big difference between Aburame and Queen Aburame. Normal Aburame have a clear-cut line between host and kikaichu. Queens...not so much.
Yuyu has good days and bad days. Hence why Yuyu's POV is very disjointed and...visceral.
Plus, she's eleven. Normal kids that age still do stupid shit to their friends for no reason.
Next Time(Arc Conclusion): Danzo being Danzo, we get an answer on who the poisoner is(only one reviewer guessed correctly so far, last chance to place bets everyone) and Hayama wants a word.