Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans...yet. Hehe.
Starfire: Final farewell.
RobxStar. Tonight the stars are glittering beautifully and the September chill is slicing its way into the Summer. On the roof of Titans Tower, Robin and Starfire lay in each others sweet embraces. But when the alien princess gathers enough courage to tell her boy wonder her true feelings, although he truly loves her, she is rejected. Things get...a little awkward between the two. Robin gets a lecture, and approaches his sweetheart's room with his lie about to be tossed away and be replaced with true emotions. When he gets there, she is packing her things, ready to give him a final farewell before she sets off for Tameran. Will his mistake scar his life forever, or will he be able to tell her?
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The moonlight was scarce behind the thin clouds that hovered with a look that could chill any heart. The craters dented into the glowing ball resembled the face of a man; a simple and plain expression on the face. The glow spread across the ground, casting shadows across trees and encouraging the hoots of owls. Bat's whines and silhouettes blew into ears through the bitterly cold wind. Despite the fact that it was Summer, it was still cold. Very. Cold. Almost like an October chill blowing in from who-knows-where. The flowers began to wilt slowly as tree's leaves fluttered to the frosty ground. The rest of the Summer had been warm and enjoyable; never one ounce of a chill. This was strange.
Very strange.
Never had it been so cold...so dark in this season. It was only the middle of August, and already September was beginning to slash its way into the sun like a knife. The sudden chill and weather tantrum was beginning to force suprised citizens to throw on cocoons of coats and seas of blankets and sheets. Tonight all people were sleeping peacefully in their warm pajamas and pleasantly drowning in their ocean of blankets. Children with their groups of obnoxiously stuffed animals, ranging from Teddy bears to Malamute puppies. Ah yes, Winter was creeping up slowly, each step colder than the last. And maybe it wasn't such a bad thing.
A blur of purple and red lay side-by-side on the roof of their tower. They were counting stars and chattering up a storm. Green eyes gazed hopefully at a mess of black hair as hidden eyes examined every glittering jewel in the sky. His mouth was moving slowly as the naming of constellations was sounded. The stories behind them becoming revealed to innocent ears. His hand pointed up to them wisely, tracing the star's shape. The other covered hand was loosely draped around her slender waist. In a gentlemanly manner, of course. He wasn't exactly what you'd call "forward" or "honest about emotions". The best describing words were "obsessive" and "painfully shy", or "secretive". The head that was rested on his chest was nothing like that. More joyful and emotional. And boy, were her emotions ever cutting at her tonight.
Having her head rested on his muscular chest was...amazing. She could feel his steady, warm breaths bouncing off her head gently; his finger twirling a strand of her fiery hair that was laying freely on the hard and cold cement. In a way, they were sort of flirting. Her head was on his chest, he was twirling her hair, they were laying next to each other with no one else around, and whispering sweet, melodic words to each other; smiling every time a word was spoken. Their feelings were obvious, just not to them. The raven haired boy constantly tried to convince his feelings other wise, but it isn't as easy as it sounds.
If it hadn't for the small trickle of light, the surroundings of the two would have been completely engulfed in the darkness. At least they would have each other to cling onto. If the world came crashing down, they wouldn't want to have their arms around anyone else but each other. They'd never have the guts to say it though. Especially if you don't know how your dream lover feels for you.
Starfire buried her face into his chest. "It is beautiful tonight."
Robin nodded in agreement. "Yeah. Kind of chilly, but its still really nice."
"Yes. But the cold is not so bad." the princess swooned. "You are quite warm." Robin's eyebrows shot up.
"In what way?" he asked.
Starfire made a half shrug. "Your shirt of sweat is fluffy, and warm. What way did you think I ment?"
"I dunno. The way you just said, I guess." Robin looked down at her and pulled her closer, gently and only slightly. "You cold?"
"No, not anymore." she murmured. "Are you?"
"Nah. Its still Summer, anyway." he replied tenderly. "There's still time to stay warm,"
"And that is why we are in sweaters?" Starfire mused.
"Tonight is just a fluke, that's all." Robin snorted. "Probably just a wind from Gotham or something."
"Please, where is that?"
"A place I used to live."
"What is it like there?"
"Big, loud, and full of crazy fan girls." He chuckled. "Not that I'm saying this place isn't full 'o them."
"You will not fall for any of them, will you?" Starfire questioned, her voice timid and worried. Robin cocked his head at her.
"Not in a million years." She let out a relieved breath. He smiled. "Those girls are crazy. They pay ten bucks to touch a sidewalk I walked on earlier."
"That is...strange." she giggled.
"No kidding." Robin scoffed. Starfire stared up at him.
"You find these girls distasteful, yes?"
"Yes."
"And you would never develop a serious relationship?"
"No. I don't like those girls. I don't really think much of them."
"Well, what do you think of me?"
"A lot of things."
"Like..."
Robin turned to meet her gaze. He grew a boyish grin. "I'm not telling you." Star sighed and allowed her mind to run free after ideas.
What did he mean by that? What did he really feel? Why wouldn't he tell? And why he smiling so...cutely? His expression made her heart flutter somewhere in the sky. He'd never looked that way before. It was almost...almost bewitching, really. Starfire had no problem with that. If he wanted to come in, she'd open the door in a heartbeat. Speaking of heartbeats, her's were increasing as his grip on her tightened ever so lightly. This and Robin...did not mix. It was like putting whipped cream on a hot dog. Who was this guy? And where did the shy one run off to? Starfire didn't care. This was the most security and contentment she'd felt in a long time.
Just being in his embrace was enough to melt any girl, especially Starfire. She could combine all of his many fan girls, and their affection would never add up to what her's was. The rest of her life was a forgotten memory now; every tear and cruel word ever spoken to her was sent downstream for a while. She never wanted him to let go. His strong arms were a sweet paradise that she never could have imagined. All the cold that lingered in the air had evaporated like steam, and it felt like the world was nothing but perfect. As long as he was there, the world would never come crashing down. But it still felt like there was poison dancing around them. And it was because they couldn't tell.
They had surrendered to each other, giving into embraces and tender whispers. They felt so lucky to be able to be the ones being embraced and loved by, although they didn't know it...yet. Someday when enough courage was constructed, they'd know. The thought of what each other's emotions were drowned their thoughts and haunted every dark corner of their minds. It was torture going about every day not knowing and pretending that they had no feelings whatsoever. And it was living a lie. Should I tell, or should I keep it to myself? That's what they asked themselves day after longing day. Their love wasn't intentional, but it was carved in stone now, and they couldn't scratch it out.
Robin glanced over at her. Her ruby shaded hair was spread across the ground, her eyes were beginning to close slowly; relaxed and tired at the same time. If this time together was a dream, they never wanted to wake up. Just stay in a peaceful slumber. Robin let out a exhausted breath as she nestled her head deeper into his jacket fabric. The devil red coloring her eye's only view. Starfire tucked her right hand under her chin.
"Robin?"
"Mmm-hmm?"
"What are you thinking about?"
"Just...complicated stuff."
"Complicated?"
"Yeah, nothing you'd wanna hear."
"I would not mind."
Robin sighed. "Star, you wouldn't understand."
There he went with the mystery boy routine again; always keeping things to himself and making her feel stupid and worthless. What did he really feel, and why wouldn't he just swallow his pride and say it? The heat and tension was rising within both of them, never understanding what they were so hesitant about. Starfire couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't stand knowing what he felt, and never knowing what he would feel if she told him. She had to come clean and admit herself to her superman. She needed to get this off her chest...for good. Of course, someone as naive as her didn't know what rejection was, but she would as soon when she opened her mouth.
Starfire sat up nervously, gently pushing Robin's hand off her. He raised an eyebrow. "You want to go inside?"
She shook her head. "No," she began. "But Robin, there is something I need to speak to you about..." He sat up next to her.
"Okay, shoot."
"Well, we have known each other for a very long time now, and we have spent much time together...like now."
"Yup."
"And...and I have began to feel strange around you lately."
"In what...way? Did I do something wrong?"
"No!" Starfire defended. "It is just, I feel like I am just wishing for you to be..."
"Be what?" he asked. "Star, what point are you trying to get to?"
"...more than my friend." she admitted. "Robin, in Earth terms, I believe that I am in love..." Robin grimaced. "...with you." she ended.
Robin's heart stopped beating. He almost died. She...loved him. Him. And he couldn't get it through his head. It isn't safe to dive into a lake a venom, and surely it isn't safe to dive into emotions like that...is it?
He loved her more than anything, but he couldn't say it. He couldn't even write it down on paper or buy a card that said it. That's pathetic. Every non-responsive second that passed dug into her mind; causing her to expect the worst...that he didn't love her. And it killed her inside. She smacked herself inwardly for telling him what she really felt. She shouldn't have. Why couldn't she had just left well enough alone. This perfect dream that had been swimming through their thoughts, had just formed into a horrifying nightmare. And they couldn't wake up from it. Sweet poison was intoxicating their bodies.
"Starfire," Robin frowned. "I don't know how to tell you this, but...I...I don't like you...that way." he lied. And she bought it.
I don't like you that way. Not that way. That way. That way.
The words played with the alien's mind painfully, pulling at her puppet strings until they broke. She could feel the tears welling up in her emerald eyes, but she fought them back forcefully. "That is...okay." she choked, forcing a faint smile. "I do not...mind at...all. But I...I wish to go inside." Starfire said quickly. Her voice was smothered in pain. She threw herself off the ground and darted inside like there was no tomorrow. The door slammed loudly behind her. Robin reached his hand out toward her.
"STARFIRE! WAIT!" his voice dipped. "I didn't mean it."
TT
Starfire brushed tears form her face as she ran toward her room. Her heart had been smashed with a hammer. It just couldn't be patched back together. Not after how much damage he just done to her. He was playing with her emotions. And he was winning. The score was millions to zero. It wasn't fair play.
Star reached her room, and locked herself in it. She pressed her back against the door, slid down into a crouch, and cried her eyes out. She just poured her heart into him, and he'd spit it back. She felt like the walls around her were closing in; about to crush her frail body. Like she was walking through a suffocating fog that took her breath for it's own wellness. Starfire couldn't take it. He didn't love her. Did he forget all those times that showed a little bit more than friendship?
Starfire had her head buried in her knees. "Well, you...everyone was having such fun with her, and then Cyborg said-"
Robin cut her off. "Look, your sister was interesting, but she could never take your place. No one could ever take your place."
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The announcers voice came on. "And the king and queen of this years prom are...Robin and Starfire!"
Robin extended his hand out to the princess. "I guess one more dance wouldn't kill me." he said as he let her out to the center of the dance floor.
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"Its not a duel, Star." Robin sighed. "Its a date."
"ROBIN DOES NOT EXCEPT!" Starfire gasped. "DO YOU HEAR? ROBIN DOES NOT EXCEPT!"
"We're gonna need a minute."
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"Starfire, look. It's not that I don't like you, it's that…"
Starfire frowned. "It is that you do not like me as a friend who is a girl."
"I don't think you understand." Robin started. "On our planet, 'girlfriend' means—"
"—A female with whom you have a pleasant and special association, including the sharing of enjoyable recreation and occasionally the buying of bountiful floral arrangements." Starfire grunted.
Robin rubbed the back of his neck. "Okay…maybe you do understand."
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"Starfire…what happened back there? Why couldn't you fly?" Robin inquired.
"Tamaranean powers are inclined by our emotions." Starfire replied sadly.
Robin raised an eyebrow. "So the way you feel affects your ability to fly."
"And right now I feel unfamiliar confusion."
"But we've faced danger before without your powers failing."
"It is not danger that confuses me, Robin. It is you. I do not understand…us. Ever since Cyborg said the 'girlfriend', things are different between us.
"It's…just a misunderstanding. Everything's okay." he tried to assure her.
"Everything is not okay. We are not okay. I fear we will never be okay again, and you will not tell me how you feel."
Robi tugged at his collar. "Uh…yeah…I'm not very good at that."
"Do Earth boys come with some kind of manual, then?"
"That would make things easier."
"How am I to know what you think about me?"
"Starfire…I think…uh…it's…awesome…the way…you shoot starbolts."
"Yes? And?"
"It's, uh, also cool that you're brave and the strongest girl ever."
"And you do not mind having a friend who is a girl?"
Robin took her hands in his "Mind it? Actually, I—" His words were cut off by a monster that came charging through the rocks.
Starfire pressed herself against the wall even harder. These memories only made matters worse. He had seemed to like her. He caught her every time she fell, he held her hand often, blushed at her, many things that confused her brain. Perhaps it was just something that friends did anyway. How could she have been so stupid as to think there was more than friendship? So naive and hopeful? She'd learned her lesson; never flirt with fire. Robin was certainly the fire, and Starfire was the victim of his burn. Had he been leading her on to thinking that he loved her? Was it some kind of mean trick? He did say that he wasn't good with feelings, but that didn't mean he had to say he didn't like her that way. And the way he said it was...so cold and bitter. All the warmth that Starfire had felt in his arms earlier had faded away somewhere far away...and was lost forever. The chilly Winter wind had taken over Jump City until the Spring arrived months later. Until then, her life would be nothing but cold.
TT
Robin brought his knees up to his chin. "I'm the biggest idiot on the planet." he hissed to no one. He remained on the roof, thinking about what had just happened. They were just lying there, looking at the stars, talking, and then Starfire said she loved him. He denied his feelings, sent her away crying, and was left on the roof with no one in the world to understand. The memory of her crying because of him was like a bullet to his brain. It hurt from his head all the way down to his feet. Why didn't he say it? Now she was sobbing into a pillow and reflecting on memories of him. Good times, and bad. They had been best friends forever, and now that relationship, or any relationship they had for that matter, had been crumbled into dust; blown away into the wind.
Robin ran his hand through his messy hair. He could hear a few muffled sobs from below the roof. If he could hear them through the howling breeze, surely everyone else had heard and gone to see what had happened to Starfire. He was going to be made out as the bad guy, treated like dirt by everyone who heard about their love sickness issue. He fell onto his back, and gazed up at the stars. Just ten minutes ago he had been pointing out constellations and been held comfortably by Starfire's arms. She was his greatest weakness by far, and she was sure weakening him now. It kind of strange how ten minutes can effect your life so drastically.
"What have I done..."
TT
Raven tip-toed through the blackened hallways. She could sense depressment and could hear small cries and sniffles coming from Starfire's room. The empath knocked on the door carefully.
"Go away! I do not wish to see anyone!" Starfire's voice growled through the door. Raven tilted her head.
"Starfire? Its me. Its just Raven." she retorted. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing!" Starfire shouted. "Please go away!"
"I can stand here all night if I have to, Starfire. Or you can just as easily open the stupid door and let me in."
There was the sound of papers shuffling before Starfire's tear stained face appeared in front of Raven's drowsy one. Starfire wiped her nose. "Yes?"
Raven grimaced. "What's wrong with you? You look...horrible." The princess twitched.
"That is what happens when you cry, friend." she mumbled dryly.
Raven shifted her eyes around awkwardly. "Can I...come in?" Starfire nodded and Raven entered behind the slamming door. Spread across the floor were a few pictures of Robin and a few birthday cards and what not. "What's up with all the Robin memorabilia?"
"I...I...am planning on...putting it away. I just wanted...one last...look." Starfire sniffed. Raven nodded.
"What did he do to you?"
"Nothing of importance." Starfire muttered as she flopped herself down on her bed. The dark girl sat down next to her.
"You're my friend, Starfire. Of course its important." Raven persisted.
"Do you swear you will not tell anyone?"
"I promise."
"Well, Robin and I were on the roof. He was, pointing out the constellations to me. And...I foolishly told him how I feel about him-"
"You told him you love him?"
"Y-yes."
"About time." she snorted. "Now, why are you crying? What's so bad about telling him?"
"H-he does not like me the same!" Starfire wailed. "He told me he does not like me the same way!"
"I'm sorry..." Raven frowned. She was about ready to kill Robin. "...but he's just an idiot, that's all."
"No, friend Raven. I am the idiot you speak of!"
"Starfire, you are not an idiot. You're just honest." Raven assured her. "I know...EVERYBODY knows that Robin likes you the same way. Its really obvi-"
"Then why did he reject me?"
"Um...he's not...you know, emotional like you. I can't imagine him...oh...I mean, give him another chance."
"I cannot."
"Why?"
"Because I believe I have destroyed whatever could have been there!" she shrieked. "We cannot be any more than two people who say hello! Our friendship is ruined!"
"Not nessa-"
"Please, I wish to be alone for now."
TT
Robin continued to sulk on the roof. Just plainly watching the hidden moon and stars. He could hear eager footsteps behind him, but he didn't turn his head. "Starfire, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Seriously. I know you're upset, but-OW!" A hand pushed him over. "But it doesn't mean you have to knock me over!"
A voice other than Starfire's voice sounded. "Idiot. If you're really that sorry, than maybe you should go apologize yourself."
"Raven, you know what I'm like." Robin snarled. "I'm not good at that stuff."
"Starfire is down in her bedroom crying until her eyes dry out and that's all you can say?" Raven winced.
Robin stood up, towering over Raven the slightest bit. A dangerous scowl was on his face. "Yeah, it is!" he snapped. "Deal with it!"
"No! Starfire is my friend and I don't want to see her cry just because of some obsessive, self-concerned, shallow guy who can't even tell a girl three simple words!" A small box blew up. "And unless you want to lose her forever, then you better go down there and be honest for once in your life. Or maybe you shouldn't even go near her at all. All the times you were obsessing over Slade and every other villian, you could have been with Starfire when she needed you the most. Think about that, Robin."
Raven stormed out of his presence before he could reply. He stood there, absolutely dumb-struck and unaware of what just happened. His life was falling apart before his very eyes. Now two of his friends hated him, and there was nothing he could do. Well, he could go down and tell Starfire the truth, but at this point, she would probably just shoo him away thinking he was lying. But this was Starfire he was talking about. She wasn't the average girl. She was sensitive, kind, forgiving, and emotional...actually, most girls are like that. But they don't take it to the extreme that Starfire did. That was one of the things that appealed to Robin; her personality. He loved everything about her, and he wasn't going to let her slip away.
Not Again.
TT
Starfire sighed as she placed one last piece of clothing in her small pink backpack. She took one last long look at a picture of Robin and herself; smiling and giving peace signs to the camera. A hot tear dripped down her cheek and onto the glass of the frame. More tears came flowing down, not even trying to be fought back. Starfire let her tears drip down slowly as she signed her name on a good-bye letter. It was late, and it would be harder to say bye to their faces. Especially Robin's. Even though he had hurt her, she couldn't get rid of her love for him. It was strapped to her somehow. And she couldn't get the buckles undone.
The alien princess swung a strap over her shoulder; attempting to forget everyone that she had lived with for so long. It would only hurt more to think about the friends she was leaving behind. Beast boy. The funny member. Cyborg. The mechanic. Raven. The calm and mysterious demon. And Robin...the only man she ever loved. It was too much to think about. Starfire sighed before opening the door. She'd never felt this much heartache before. Between Robin and leaving her best friends behind without explanation, she could cry forever.
As she opened the door, Robin was just about ready to knock on it; his fist in mid-air. They both jumped a little, but it turned into an awkward silence after that.
"Hello." Starfire greeted uncertainly. "I was...hoping that everyone was asleep."
"I couldn't sleep." Robin pouted. "Not when I knew you were crying."
"I was not crying." Starfire replied fiercely. Robin ran his finger across her face.
"Don't lie, Star." he murmured. "Your face is wet, and I doubt that you dipped it in water."
"Why are you here?" she stiffened. "I must leave soon."
"I...I came to say I'm sorry."
"For what? You were only being honest." She tried to run, but he caught her in his arms.
"Starfire, I'm sorry I lied!" he blurted. "I said I didn't like you that way and I lied. I'm the biggest idiot in the world and I'm shallow, but I still..."
She placed a finger on his lip. "You are talking very much."
"I know. Its just that when I'm nervous I-"
Starfire planted a soft kiss on his lips, and dropped her bag; putting her arms around him instead. His eyebrows rose up to his hair line, but narrowed quite a bit as he closed his eyes. Maybe lying doesn't leave permanent damage, but it doesn't mean you should do it. Robin encircled his arms around her gently, happier than he'd ever been. She'd forgiven him amazingly fast, and certainly wasn't ever going to leave.
Robin exhaled deeply as they broke apart, his eyes tracing to the floor. The corner of his mouth tilted down.
"You aren't going to leave, are you?" he questioned. Starfire kissed him on the cheek lightly.
"No, not anymore."
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Blach! This chapter stinks. And everyone is OOC, but I tried. Whatever. Anyway, please review...but NO flames allowed. Thank you! Oh, and I fixed all the name switches. So now its just the normal titan's names.
PWG
Uh...I don't know how the cold weather ties in either. This chapter sucks. :p The title sorta hints that this is the end of my series, but it isn't. Heh...Oh! And to all that reviewed so far: you guys...and girls rock! I'll give you all muffins...if I can bake them in time. :)