Author: Sw aka SkyBlueSw, and a few other nicks.
Summary: Rhett agrees to give Scarlett one weekend, in exchange for his freedom.
Disclamier: I do not own Gone With The Wind, or, am making any money off of this story.
Author's Note: This is the update beta chapter 4.
Chapter 4 : Is it Really Over?
Rhett kept walking, having no idea where it was he wanted to go. Just somewhere far away from Scarlett and her words, that tore at what was left of his heart. Not seeing Wade or Ella, ever again. They both were like his own children and he loved them. But what hurt the most for Rhett, was he knew Scarlett indeed was right in asking this of him.
He was going to be someone else s husband. The children wouldn't understand that, truth be told, sometimes he himself didn't understand it. As much as he tried to deny Scarlett s love for him, Rhett couldn't block it out when he was around her or thought of her. It was happening too much for his liking lately.
Rhett had to smile when he looked up, and saw that he had made it back to his Mother's house. He hadn't realized he had been walking that long. Looking down at his pocket watch, Rhett saw that it was only seven which meant everyone was still asleep, or just now waking. So hearing his Mother calling his name, caught Rhett off guard.
"Rhett," Eleanor Butler called out, to her oldest child as she saw him walk up to her house. Rhett looked as he had when he was a young boy who was lost. Eleanor knew that look had something to do with her former Daughter-in-law.
"What have you been up to at this awful hour?" Mrs. Butler asked her son, as he made his way up the few steps to the door where she was standing.
Hiding behind his mask, Rhett smiled and kissed his Mother's cheek. "Good morning, Mother. I've been out taking a walk for most of the morning."
Unlike Scarlett who after all these years could only sometimes see through Rhett's lies when he had his mask in place, Mrs. Butler always could. And it troubled her to no end to see that hurt look in her son's dark eyes. What hurt more was the fact she knew it had something to do with Scarlett. Rhett had never been the same since he married her, and never would again. Bonnie had almost brought back the old Rhett, but there was always something in his eyes that told his Mother, that something was missing in his life.
When he had returned home alone after Bonnie's death, all emotion was gone from his eyes. For the longest time, Eleanor had feared she would never again see anything in them, until Rhett returned from a visit to Atlanta. He was fighting something inside himself, that was clear, Eleanor thought it had to be his divorce from Scarlett. After he had gotten it, his eyes returned to their hollow selves. His whole up and coming marriage to Anne still didn't bring love to his eyes. She was hoping, perhaps once Rhett and Anne married that a baby might bring back the old Rhett.
Shaking her head lovingly, Eleanor Butler knew now that a baby with Anne wouldn't bring the life back into Rhett's eyes. Looking into them, she saw hurt and underneath that she saw love, and without a doubt the elder Mrs. Butler knew who it was for.
"Walking most of the morning, were you?" she questioned, then added "What did you do with the rest?"
Rhett laughed but it was one of deep hurt, and not of joy he had been caught by his Mother. How would she take it that he had gone to talk to his wife, or in her mind his former wife? Last night she had pushed him to, so why should this morning be any different?
"I went to see Scarlett, Rhett paused as his Mother and he walked through the door, and into the house. Looking and seeing no one, they both headed for the living room. " I felt we left too many things unsettled between us last night, and I wanted to see the children," Rhett finished. He said the last with a whisper, knowing now that he would never get to do that.
"From the look in your eyes, I take it things didn't go well?" Eleanor asked her son.
"Scarlett doesn't want me to see the children again," Rhett stopped as he fought back the tears he wouldn t allow himself.
"Oh," Eleanor sighed, remembering Rhett's words last night about how he wouldn't ever give up his step-children, not even for Anne. "Rhett, I think it's for the best. You re not their step-father any longer, and someday soon hopefully you'll have your own children to worry about."
Rhett looked at his Mother, he felt as if she had just slapped him with her words. Didn't she understand that Ella and Wade were all he had left of Bonnie? That he had helped raise those children, that even if they weren't of his blood he thought of them as his own. He was the one they had gone to if they had bad dreams, and Wade looked up to him to see how a gentleman was supposed to behave. Couldn't his Mother understand that he didn't want to give that up? That you can't just walk away from those memories? That no matter how many years went by, he would never forget them?
"I love them Mother, how could never seeing them again be for the best?" Rhett asked, hoping that perhaps she would have the answer.
Eleanor was rendered speechless by her son's heartfelt confession. He loved Ella and Wade, and didn't want to lose them. But they weren t his children to lose, and that was something Rhett couldn't change, no matter how much he them to be And Scarlett, as their Mother, had a right to not allow Rhett to see them. What tore at Mrs. Butler's heart the most was the emotion in Rhett's dark eyes, emotions he hadn't shown in years.
"Is it the children you re going to miss, or their Mother?" Rhett couldn't believe his Mother's question. Of course it was the children and not Scarlett. It wasn't Scarlett's emerald eyes that he longed to look into that would haunt him for the years to come. Or the way she could say his name with such fake sweetness that he would always be thinking he heard. No, it wasn't Scarlett but Wade and his becoming a young man that he would miss. And spoiling Ella rotten, getting to threaten her first beau. Things that a Father would do, things that he would never get to do with Bonnie.
"Mother, my feelings for Scarlett haven't changed," and they won't no matter how much I want them to, Rhett silently added. "It's just the thought of Wade and Ella, thinking I've abandoned them that is troubling me."
Eleanor nodded her head as if she agreed with her son's words, then asked a question she had been dying to ask since Rhett's return. "What happened between you and Scarlett, Rhett?"
Rhett took a deep unsteady breath, then let it out. His marriage wasn't something he was comfortable talking about. He knew his Mother well enough to know she wouldn't blame Scarlett for everything that had gone wrong in their marriage. She would take into account both sides and in the end, more than likely order him to go home and make things work with his wife, Anne or no Anne. Eleanor Butler saw marriage as something sacred she hadn't taken the news of his separation from Scarlett well, and then when Rosemary and the rest of Charleston thought he had been divorced, Mrs. Butler hadn't talked to him for over a day.
"Rhett, I'm not going to judge you," Eleanor stated then added with laughter "When have I ever done that?"
When Rhett didn't join in with her laughing, Mrs. Butler knew something more than just not seeing his step-children again was upsetting him.
The only time Eleanor had seen her son not trying to laugh with her was the night he was thrown out of her house by his Father. He was in the wrong then, and nothing he could say would change that so Rhett didn't even try to. Now all these years later he had much the same look on his face, one she didn't like one bit.
"Mother, I don't feel like talking about Scarlett," Rhett said, as he headed for his office and away from questions he didn't want to answer. Not when his mind was as mixed up as it was at the moment. He might let something slip, that he didn't want his Mother or himself to know. It was easier to run away like he always did than to face the fact. He was still in love with his wife.
A wife that perhaps was finally doing as he asked and letting him go. Could he truly believe Scarlett would just let him go? Had she done the impossible and finally grown up? So many questions that he wanted to ask, and now Rhett found he never would get to. Scarlett was going to leave on the morning train, and he would soon be married to another woman who he could never love. But did love really matter? Hadn't that been his reason for marrying Scarlett, and all that had brought him was heart ache.
"Do you still love Scarlett, Rhett?" Eleanor asked her son's back. She couldn't help but notice how he stiffened at her words.
"Love, Mother really?" Rhett asked, turning around laughing as he added "I don't believe love was every mentioned in our marriage." At least when it would have mattered, Rhett thought.
"Oh, I see," Mrs. Butler said, walking past her son, intent on going to the kitchen and checking on how breakfast was coming along.
Rhett just stood there for a second until the meaning of his Mother's words hit him. Her thinking he had never loved Scarlett, was by far worse than her earlier words of the morning about not seeing his step-children again. How could his Mother, the one person he thought knew him so well, not be able to see just how much he did indeed love his wife.
"Mother, it's not what you re thinking." At that, Eleanor turned back towards her son, and gave him a look of wanting to hear him out.
"Then how is it, son?"
Rhett walked to his office door and opened it, then held it open for his Mother to enter. If they were going to have this talk, one he really didn't want to have, it wasn't going to happen in the hallway where anyone in the house could overhear it. Taking a seat behind his desk Rhett couldn't help but chuckle, thinking hadn't he just started the day here? Eleanor took a seat before Rhett's desk, and waited for her son to begin his tale.
"I met Scarlett O'Hara, and fell in love with her. But she would not or could not love me in return." Rhett paused, he didn't want to bring Ashley into this even if he always would be a part of it. "We married because Scarlett wanted my money, and I used it to get what I wanted, her."
Rhett pulled his thoughts together then proceeded to continue his life story with Scarlett, noticing that his Mother hadn't tried to say a word.
"I was madly in love with her. Scarlett can be such a child at times," Rhett smiled as he remembered their honeymoon and the fun they had together. "She could be so cruel as well, only thinking of herself." Rhett said that as he remembered the many times she had broken his heart not even really trying to, and not caring if she did.
"Scarlett treated me as a stranger for the better part of our marriage. She made it clear that children after Bonnie weren't allowed, and the only reason I was there was to pay the bills. I finally had enough after Bonnie's death, and walked away." Rhett barely kept the tears from falling when mentioning Bonnie's name.
Eleanor didn't know what to say. She had never dreamed Rhett's marriage to Scarlett had been such a nightmare. Yet, last night she had been sure that her former daughter-in-law was still in love with her son. On the other hand, if what Rhett said was true then Scarlett never had been.
"Are you sure Scarlett isn't in love with you, Rhett?"
"No, she's in love with me Mother," Rhett answered, laughing. Life was funny that way. When you wanted something so badly you would do anything for it, it wouldn't happen, yet when you didn't want it to, it would. "My dear sweet cruel Wife, decided she loved me the day I was leaving her."
"Oh," Eleanor whispered, and saw the cruel way fate had played with her son's heart.
"Yes, it was quite the picture. Scarlett running home to tell me she was madly in love with me and had been for years, while I was trying to tell her I was leaving. She almost even begged me to stay which is something she hates." Rhett's mind went back to that night and the look of despair on Scarlett's face.
"But all my love for Scarlett had worn out; too many years of hoping she would love me left nothing but bitterness in my heart for her." Rhett found talking about the night he left Atlanta opened his heart to the wound that would never heal. "Perhaps Scarlett had been right that night, when she told me she had loved me for a long time."
"If that were true, why didn't Scarlett realize she loved you sooner?" Eleanor asked, intrigued by her son's life in spite of the sadness? he told her it had been. Rhett was such a private person. It was hard to get him to open up, but once he did, Mrs. Butler wasn't going to let him shut down again without getting some answers from him first.
"I was awful to her Mother; I punished her for not loving me. I used Bonnie's love for me, and her lack of Motherly behavior against her. All of Atlanta thought Scarlett was a heartless creature who didn't love any of her children." Rhett saw the look of shock on his Mother's face. "Don't look surprised, Mother; I'm shocked that Scarlett loves me. The way I ve treated her she shouldn't, just as I don't love her because of the way she treated me."
Mrs. Butler s eyes went to her lap as she let her mind go over her son's confessions. She still had a feeling Rhett was leaving something out. And whatever it was, it was important. She couldn't believe Rhett would just give up trying to get Scarlett to love him so easily. There must be a reason for not believing she would ever love him in return. Yet, whatever reason Rhett found wasn't important now. In a few months time Rhett would be married to Anne, and Scarlett would be a distant memory, one that Eleanor hoped didn't haunt her son until his dying day.
"Rhett, I m only going to ask this once and never again." Eleanor knew this was impolite, and it was none of her business, but she had to be sure Rhett knew what he was doing.
"Do you still love Scarlett? Have you let all the bitterness and pain over Bonnie s death blind you to your own hearts desires?" Rhett opened his mouth to disclaim his love for Scarlett. Mrs. Butler shook her head, and said as she got up out of her chair "Rhett, I don't want you to find yourself in another loveless marriage. This time I'm afraid you wouldn't be the one wanting to win the heart of your beloved."
Taking a few steps to the office door Eleanor smiled a small smile and said sweetly "Anne is a wonderful girl Rhett, and she would make any man proud to have for a wife. But I have a feeling if that's what you wanted, you would never have left Charleston to begin with."
Rhett watched speechlessly as his Mother left his office, leaving him to think over her words. The latter of her words were true, Anne was a Lady and would be a credit to any man as a wife. And that was what he wanted for the rest of his life, peace and quiet. Rhett didn't want arguments or disagreements; he didn't want to be an outcast anymore.
He didn't want a wife who caught the attention of every man in the room just by walking in. He didn t want his wife flirting with any male over sixteen and under ninety. Rhett didn't want dimples to smile pulling him in, when the last thing he needed to do was stay a second longer.
Closing his eyes, Rhett could see those emerald orbs of Scarlett's, those were another thing he didn't need in his life. How just looking into them could tell you what mood Scarlett was in. Or how Scarlett told everyone just want she thought of them, not caring whose feelings she hurt.
No, Rhett knew he wouldn't miss that cruel side of Scarlett one bit. Having made up his mind Mr. Butler decided he had wasted enough time on Scarlett for one day, and set his mind back on work. Chuckling silently he thought to himself, ' I'll think of Scarlett tomorrow.'
"Mother, I thought we were going to see Uncle Rhett today?" Wade asked, as he held Cat in his arms. Having just finished breakfast, Wade thought perhaps they would now go to visit their family in Charleston. The boy who was twelve knew things between his Mother and step-Father weren't good. But he hoped this visit might fix things, and life could go back to how it used to be when Bonnie was alive.
He missed having a Father, and a boy his age needed one now more than ever.
"No Wade we re not. In fact we're going to be leaving this morning on the train. We must hurry, it leaves in an hour." Scarlett stated, as she held Gerry in her arms. She tried to keep from looking at Wade, not wanting to see the hurt look on his face. She knew he loved Rhett and never seeing him again would seem impossible to the young boy.
"Why?" Wade asked, as Cat started to whine. It seemed she hadn't taken the news any better than her older brother.
"Doesn't Uncle Rhett want to see us anymore?" Ella asked, joining the conversation for the first time.
Scarlett felt tears come to her eyes at Ella's question. This wasn't their fault, and yet her children were the ones that would suffer for her mistakes. Not only would her oldest two lose the man they thought of as a Father, the twins would never get to know their Father. And all because she was such a fool. The children didn't deserve this; but none the less there was nothing Scarlett could do to change it.
Rhett was happy with his new life, and the new wife he had chosen to replace her with. Scarlett wasn't about to cause him anymore pain. She had done enough of that to last a lifetime. It had killed her this morning to tell him he could never see the children again.
"Of course he does, sweetie," Scarlett said looking from Ella to Wade then back again. "But I've asked him not to."
"Why would you do that?" Wade asked, his voice almost a yell. He knew his Mother was in love with Uncle Rhett. Why would she not want to see him?
"Wade, don't use that tone of voice with me" Scarlett scolded. Trying to keep herself from breaking down in public, the last thing she wanted today was to cause a scene. "Besides, this isn't the type of conversation I want to have in a restaurant. I promise to explain everything on the train."
Wade just nodded his head, in shame at having almost yelled at his Mother. Looking up into this Mother's eyes, he could see the hurt in them. Whatever had happened here in Charleston, it hadn't been what she had planned. He could see from the hurt written on her face, his Mother was just as upset about not seeing Uncle Rhett as he and Ella were.
"I'm sorry, Mother," Wade whispered making eye contact with Scarlett.
Scarlett offered Wade a smile, as a silent truce of sorts was formed between the two. Both understood that neither liked what was happening but couldn't change it. Scarlett was grateful for this, Ella wasn't going to be easy to handle and she needed Wade on her side.
Cat cried out, and waved her little arms as tears fell down her face. Wade looked to his Mother, then genteelly tried to rock her back in forth which only made the three month old cry even more. From all around the restaurant other customers looked at the Mother and four children.
Scarlett could feel all their eyes on her. They wanted her to quiet the tiny baby down. Looking at Wade then to Ella asking silently where Cat's stuffed bear was, the only thing that could get her to stop crying when she got like this.
"I think Mother, Cat's stuffed bear is still in the room." Ella said quickly, then looked down at her hands that were in her lap. She hoped she wouldn't get yelled at for not bringing it with them.
With Cat's cries growing louder Scarlett handed Gerry to Ella and took her youngest daughter from her oldest son. "I'll be right back. Wade please watch your sister and baby brother for me."
Wade nodded his head watching his Mother's back as she left the room. Turning to look at Ella who had Gerry wrapped in her arms singing softly to the baby, Wade just smiled. "Ella, could you sit here for a few minutes with Gerry?"
"Mother said you were to watch us, where are you going?" Ella asked, with wide eyes. She was not one for wanting to anger their Mother, and face her wrath.
"I have to use the rest room," Wade lied, hating having to do that but knowing if he wanted to get away, he had to. Ella always listened to their Mother's every word, and never did she break them. Wade didn't think Ella would approve of his plan, and would stop him if she could.
"Alright, Gerry and I will be fine. But hurry back before Mother does," Ella replied.