Part II, Chapter Six: Got it Bad
If there's a prize for rotten judgement,
I guess I've already won that
No man is worth the aggravation
That's ancient history - been there, done that
who you think you're kidding?
He's the earth and heaven to you
Try to keep it hidden
Honey, we can see right through it
We know how you feel and who you're thinking of
I thought my heart had learned its lesson
It feels so good when you start out
My mind is saying get a grip, girl
Unless you're dying to cry your heart out
You keep on denying who you are and how you're feeling
Baby, we're not buying, hun we saw you hit the ceiling
Face it like a grown up, when you gonna own up
That you got - got - got it bad?
...I won't say I'm in love!
- Hercules Soundtrack (I Won't Say I'm In Love)
When Ginny awoke, she was wrapped up in a blanket she didn't remember ever owning on the couch by the fire. Confused, she sat up, trying to recall what had happened the day before. As soon as she did so, she felt... well, she felt stupid. At the moment, she could only remember exaggerated bits and pieces of the party, with her mind adding emphasis to the words Harry said and subtracting strength from her sentences. Ah, the joys of a female brain. After a few moments, however, she remembered the floo... and Draco.
He had been kind to her. With a gasp, she remembered how she had asked -- no, begged -- him to stay with her. What would compel her to say such a thing, to Draco no less? She had acted as if she liked him, as if she couldn't live without him.
She could, couldn't she? If Draco were to leave one day out of the blue, she could cope, right?
"Ah... you're up."
Ginny turned around to see Draco walking in the room, adjusting the buttons on his oxford shirt. It wasn't fully buttoned, so she could see the beginnings of a chest. With a blush she lowered her eyes.
"Yeah. Just got up."
Draco smiled to himself at her shyness and looked down, focusing on the buttons. "So... I'm going to be going out."
"Why? Where are you going?" The questions were out before she could even think. It was a reaction, a quick 'don't leave me' kind of answer. It wasn't shocking or too emotional. It was just odd, how it was about Draco.
"Some... business-like things to attend to." Although she was still looking down, she could tell he was smirking at her response.
She played with a strand of thread on the blanket as she tried to keep her voice even. "Oh... for how long?"
Draco shrugged. "Probably until late tonight. At the latest... tomorrow morning. If that's happens, I'll be here when you wake up."
"Don't you remember? I don't sleep," she stated.
"Yes, well, that wasn't the case last night, was it?"
It took her a moment to realize what that meant. "You... stayed here all night?"
He said nothing, only walked to her and patted her on the head. It was a sweet -- but annoying and patronizing -- gesture that left Ginny yearning for answers.
"I'll see you later." With that, the front door closed shut.
Later when? How long would she have to wait?
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Rain was pouring down on Harry Potter's front lawn, causing large, ocean-like puddles to open up in his grass. Harry watched as Luna chased her small, yellow cat around in the rain, her beautiful outfit beginning to get drenched. She was wearing a long, poofy yellow skirt, a yellow tanktop, yellow tie-up sandals, and a crown of flowers she had lazily assembled that afternoon.
Pumpkin Blossom -- the cat -- defied gravity and jumped up a tree, causing Luna to jump up and down in a desperate attempt to get her kitten. With a small smile, Harry threw on a random pair of shoes and a shirt and ran outside in the rain to help her.
"Oi, Harry, Pumpkin's in the tree!" she gasped, her clothes sticking to her body.
"I noticed," Harry replied. With a simple push, the branch fell out and Pumpkin fell into his arms. Luna cooed-slash-scolded Pumpkin and then glanced at her boyfriend.
"You made it look so easy," she said with a pout. "How long would it have taken for just me?"
"A while," he answered, then got a good look at her.
"I must look quite amusing." She looked down at her wet clothes. "I must be quite a sight."
"Yeah. Quite a sight," he repeated.
She spun around in the rain. "I don't care, though. You do know that, right?"
Harry nodded feverishly.
Another spin. "And I won't ever change. You know that too?"
He nodded again.
Luna rushed into his arms. "Then kiss me, won't you? We're both wet anyway, no need to go inside. Won't you take a walk with me?" She was always like this: saying many thoughts at once, wanting many things at the same time. Harry always gave in to all that she wanted, answered all that she asked. So, first he kissed her, then he took her hand and began walking the grounds.
"Harry... Do you still love Ginny?" Luna asked suddenly.
Without a second thought, Harry answered, "No."
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"OOMPF!"
Ginny picked up a large trunk with much difficulty and moved it over to the side. She was going through her side of the manor room by room, making a list of interesting things, beautiful things, and things she'd wait to open (just until Draco got home). Halfway through her crusade her hair had gotten in some sort of half-up-half-down hairdo that would have suited her twelve-year-old self rather than her sixteen-year-old self. To make her look even more immature, she was wearing a Mickey Mouse tee-shirt that Hermione had brought back from Euro Disney that only just reached her stomach, a yellow vest on top of that (to make herself look a bit more mature), boots (because she was extremely sick of getting splinters), and she was listening to a CD of instrumental music.
All in all, she looked utterly ridiculous. But what did it matter? Draco wasn't coming home until 'later.' And who knew when that was?
She let out a grunt as she fanned herself off. This job was getting grueling, and this room was no longer the beautiful sports room it once was. Instead, it was sort of a mish-mosh of furniture with some sports accessories thrown in here and there. Ginny felt like a six year old who thought cleaning her room would be fun -- come on, it sounds fun in the beginning -- and then half-way through wants her mum to help finish the job. Exchange 'room' for 'manor' and you have Ginny's situation.
After trying to open the chest a total of sixteen times, she felt she was at the brink of insanity.
"Alright," she said to herself, "Just a quick break and I'll be fine."
She darted to the kitchen, opened the fridge and began scooping out ice cream (Draco had gone shopping -- what a shock -- a few days ago, and asked her what she wanted from the store. Hands down, she wanted ice cream. Thank god.) Once she was done, she added a cherry, then took a lick. With one touch of her tongue against the cold ice cream, she was in heaven. The coolness of the ice cream and the hottness of the weather combined into one nice mix of feelings. She leaned against the fridge in ecstasy.
And that was exactly the case Draco found her in.
It took him a second to look past the way her back arched against the fridge just by eating ice cream and the complete bareness of her legs, but once he did, he absorbed her outfit. He burst out in laughter, shocking Ginny.
"What the bloody HELL?" She screamed, dropping her ice cream. She screamed again once she realized she was half-naked in front of Draco. She immediately threw open the fridge door and stood behind it. "Get out!"
"It's my kitchen!"
Ginny grumbled. "I'm... indecent!"
Oh, no, you're decent alright... "I've seen half-naked girls before, Weasley."
Oh, have you? Ginny thought to herself. "Not this half-naked girl!"
Draco pouted exaggeratedly. "What, I'm not good enough?"
Ginny sighed and closed the door, then stood straight.
"Happy? - Stop staring at me!"
Draco did nothing but smirk.
She bent down to begin cleaning up the fallen ice cream with a paper towel, and Draco couldn't help but stare. He hated himself for it. He was becoming too aware of her existence... and her outfits.
"You're staring again."
He blushed slightly and sat down at the kitchen table. "Why are you wearing a shirt with a mouse on it?"
"You've never heard of Mickey Mouse?" Ginny asked, throwing away the napkin.
"Should I have?"
Ginny shrugged. "You poor, poor, deprived man." She sat down across from him. "What are you doing back so early? I thought you wouldn't be back until 'later.'"
"It is later. You do realize it's five, right?"
"FIVE?" she repeated with a gasp. "Are you bloody kidding me? I've been working for over six hours?"
"Working? What have you been doing?" he asked.
Ginny toyed her shirt tails. "Um... well, in my twisted mind, cleaning. I was going through a bunch of the rooms and looking at stuff. I found a really nice chest, I just can't open it."
"Mind if I give it a try?"
They walked up to the sport's room and Ginny pointed to the chest, as if saying 'that's the evil sonuvabiatch!' Within two tries Draco had it unlocked, sending an amused glance Ginny's way.
"Damn," she whispered, sitting next to him and opened the lid, looking inside. It seemed to be a chest of dresses and skirts -- beautiful ones at that. She gingerly held one skirt between her fingers, staring at the gorgeous red ruffles. Attached to the skirt was a red tank top with white accents and
"Are you going to try it on, then?"
Ginny looked as though she was going to laugh at the thought. "That's a good one."
"I don't see why it's funny. Don't you want to know how it looks on?"
Ginny glanced at the skirt, then at him. "Should I?"
"I don't see any harm in it. It's meant to be wearing, isn't it? Besides, if you don't get that outfit off soon, I'll be forced to take it off myself."
Her eyes widened... and so did he.
Draco stuttered to think of a save. "I mean -- it's really -- I... just try the skirt on, will you?"
She laughed and nodded, closing the door behind her and leaving Draco to shun himself for saying something so stupid.
Now she's going to think you're a bloody perv! Draco scolded. Why couldn't I keep my bloody mouth shut?
Before Draco could continue lecturing himself, Ginny carefully stepped in the room, blushing deep and looking down. Draco was shocked at how well the outfit fit her, and how it seemed it was made specifically for her. The skirt clung to her hips and fell down to the floor in dramatic ruffles with a large slit going up to her calf. The shirt didn't fit quite as well -- it was a bit too tight -- but she still looked beautiful.
Not that Draco thought she was beautiful or anything.
"Well...?" She asked, slowly looking up. "Do I look completely slutty, or what?"
Draco chose his words carefully. "I don't think 'slutty' is the correct word..."
Ginny blushed and stepped further into the room. It was silent other than the music in the background, which had now changed to a song by Phillip Glass. She sat next to Draco and began looking at the other dresses, hardly moving so that he couldn't see any bit of skin too well. Although she was known to be open and not restrictive with boys, it was different with Draco. She didn't know why.
"Do you... want to dance?" Draco asked quietly, amazed at himself for even asking. In this room, it was as if he was a puppet and someone was pulling his strings to make him act a certain way. In this case, the 'certain way' was a stupid, spineless git who kept ogling Ginny.
"Sure," replied Ginny, and she was amazed at herself, too.
They slowly began to do a sort of waltz to the beat, Ginny keeping her head down as they put their arms around each other. She couldn't believe what was happening -- she was slow dancing with Draco Malfoy, and she didn't feel sick. She didn't have the urge to throw him out a window or anything like that. On the contrary, the only feelings she had were that of a very drunk person -- giddy -- and that of a convict on trial -- nervous.
Ginny looked up for a minute, confused on whether she was stepping right, and ended up looking into his eyes. She found it difficult to look away; the penetrating glare of cold, silver-blue eyes on warm, honey-brown was unbreakable. Taking a deep breath, she turned her head to the side, and Draco smirked to himself. This room was definitely his favorite.
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Somehow -- Ginny could not recall how -- she found herself in her room, swaying to the beat. Before she could help herself, she was settling in bed, closing her eyes as if she usually did this. She did not expect dreams to come, or for her to actually fall asleep.
But they did.
Harry was sitting on a couch with Luna in a strange house. It seemed to be bits and pieces of every house Ginny had ever known -- a bit of Harry's flat, some of Grimmauld Place, some of the Burrow's, and lastly, some of the Manor's. The painting of Andasar, Fayebris, and Elye was behind the couple. Ginny stood in the middle of the room, looking around for some sign of life other than the snogging couple.
"Harry?" She asked, taking a few steps towards the two. "What's going -"
A burst of fire enveloped the couch, making it impossible for her to pass. She tried to walk around it, but the fire kept getting larger and larger. She tried everything to get to Harry, but he didn't hear her pleas or her calls. He was too busy with Luna
Replaceable even in your dreams, eh, Weasel?' A voice hissed. Ginny could not find where the voice was coming from, but she wanted it to stop.
"Go away -- Leave me alone!"
"Ginny?"
She spun around; Fred was standing on a staircase made of snakes. "What's wrong?"
"Fred, please, don't stand there! You're going to get - " Before she could finish her sentence, the staircase swallowed up Fred, then turned into a normal set of stairs. With a strangled cry she ran towards them, slamming on the floor, crying for her brother.
'Bad things will happen if you stay, Weasel. It's in your best interest to go. Let the curse eat you alive.
"No! I won't become subject to this curse! I will fight it, I promise!"
The scene changed, and suddenly she was in Draco's room, standing in front of his mirror. In the mirror, a reflection of Ginny's scar began taking up all of her body until the only things left were her eyes, turning backwards slowly. She screamed and threw Draco's lamp, from the sidetable, at the mirror. It shattered with a 'crash,' showing a room behind the mirror, just like in her favorite play.
"Ginny?" Draco asked, stepping in front of her and putting his arms on her shoulders.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, hugging him slightly for protection, "Are you in the wrong dream?"
"No. I'm in the right nightmare. Come on, let's go." With a push, she woke up, breathing heavily.
"Where am I?" She looked around: she was in Draco Malfoy's room. "What the hell just happened?"
Draco sighed, sitting down on the bed and motioning her to do so, too. She obliged as he explained.
"After you went up to bed, I sat in here and I was reading. All of a sudden I hear you screaming bloody murder on the staircase, so I run out there and you're nowhere to be found. I didn't get what happened - you were definitely just there a second ago, but whatever. I was tired and kind of out of it, so I figured it was all in my head. It wasn't.
"Once I reached my room again, you were standing here, freaking out in front of my mirror. You threw my lamp at it, and it shattered. I was worried, so I touched your shoulder, and immediately it was like I was in your dream. Now, would you like to tell me what this is all about?"
Ginny said nothing, but looked at the mirror. The mirror hadn't broken all the way through like it had in her dream, but it left a few crack marks.
Draco glanced inside, then looked at Ginny. "Do you want to talk about it...?"
"No. Not now. It's... what... 12 in the morning?"
"Four, actually."
Ginny grumbled. "Even more reason. I have to get back to sleep." She began walking back to her room, but Draco grabbed her arm and stopped her.
"You're going to go back to bed? What if you start sleep walking again?" he asked while doubting himself on what the hell he was doing.
"I... don't know. I'm too tired to think of anything. I have to sleep. Really. I'm kind of... scared though."
Draco sighed and sat down on his bed, looking at Ginny expectantly. "Well? What are you waiting for, then?"
"Excuse me?"
Draco rolled his eyes. "Don't be a perv, Weasley. The first time you went to sleep was when you were with me. I'm tired, you're tired. You can't go to bed without me, and I can't sleep a wink with you screaming in the hallways. Win-win situation."
Ginny began to walk towards the bed, then stopped right before sitting. "You're sure?"
"Yes. Will you hurry? I'm tired," Draco said, ignoring his fast beating heart as best he could.
"Okay..." she sat down on the bed, then slowly laid down. Draco reached over her to turn off the other lamp, then looked down at Ginny. He could tell she was anxious, too - for reasons he couldn't think of, didn't want to imagine.
And for some reasons beyond his comprehension, he did the unthinkable before turning off the light.
He kissed her on the head.
Then he quickly switched the light off, turned so his back was facing Ginny, and got under the covers. Ginny laid in bed straight as a board, blushing like crazy. She faced Draco and whispered, "Goodnight, Draco."
Draco said nothing until he could hear her breathing become even, the telltale sign she was asleep. When he was sure, he whispered, "'Night, Gin."
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Mrs Weasley
August 1st
The Burrow
Dear Mum,
I think I'm in love with Draco Malfoy. I don't want to be. I don't know why. I don't know how. I don't even really know what love is, considering I've been wrong before. For example: Dean. How sure was I that day when he came to pick me up during the summer? So, so sure. So incredibly sure that he was the one for me. How stupid was I?
Another example: Harry Potter. He's with Luna, mum. After all those years I spent pining for his affection, all the times I wished and hoped and prayed that he would like me... and then when he finally does, he rules my universe. And then when he breaks up with me, although I understand - and really, I did - I fall to pieces.
And then, I give myself up for him. I did, mum, I'm so ashamed to say it. It was our last day, our last chance. I wish I had never done that. Because when I saw him the other day, at his party, with Luna... I felt my heart break again. Seriously, I felt it fall apart. Break in two. Crack into pieces, and I felt that I couldn't stand being in the same room as him, or Luna. Because I was that replaceable.
And you know who met me when I came home, mum? Draco Malfoy. He held me in his arms, and said he'd kill Harry for making me feel this way. He helped me get to sleep. I fell asleep in his arms, Mum. I know you know how big that is. So big. So, so, so big. And then, yesterday for example. I had a nightmare, and instead of just telling me to go back to sleep... he went in my nightmare. He took me out of it and stayed with me. He helped me go to sleep again.
And I danced with him before, did I tell you? Out of nowhere, he asked me to dance to some classical music. It was so random, just 'do you want to dance?' I don't even know how it happened. I can hardly think. My brain is spinning and the only thing that's in focus is the paper, the quill, and the view of his cold, cold, cold eyes and how they warmed for just a second. Not even. But the fact that I saw them warm...
I don't know what I'm saying, Mum. I think I'm going crazy.
But I will not admit I'm in love with Draco Malfoy.
Love (I am so sick of that word),
Ginny
Author's note: hmm... I don't know lol. I don't think I can trust my opinions on my chapters anymore, because last time I was so-so and you guys ended up liking it. So what's the verdict on this one? I originally had the song 'Unwritten,' based on the whole dancing part... but I think with the letter, this song ties in better. YOU GUYS SHOULD ALL DOWNLOAD THIS SONG. I swear, you will ALL be singing along. I know I usually am! especially to the Disney Mania version! (Sings off-key) (Entire family cringes) Wow... am I 15 or 5? (Wonders)
Thank you all for your fabulous reviews. Keep it up, please! (Smile)
X, Liz