A/N: Disclaimer: Refer back to Chapter 1.
WARNING: WAFF, MODERATE LANGUAGE.
Chapter 7: Fleeting Happiness
Argilla leaned onto the railing that looked out onto the Muladhara horizon. The breeze was calm that day; it was neither too weak nor too strong. The breeze was just cool to the skin. The raindrops were gentle. It was perfect. Well, at least, it was as perfect as things could get at the Junkland.
It was 0700 hours. The sun had just risen over an hour ago. Argilla had come there, on the top floor of the building just to see this sight. She came there to gather her thoughts. For the last fortnight, her life had been a complete mess. It was as if an invisible hurricane had taken her and blew her onto a completely new direction in her life.
One day she was at the prime of her life. She was a strong, confident and proud Embryon member, second only to Gale as an Intelligence Officer. She was a great sniper, never missing a target. She was a big sister to Cielo, a comrade to Heat. Lastly, she was someone special to Serph.
But all that changed as Heat laid claim on her. He forcibly entered her life. She had no choice.
The next day, she became timid and weak. She lost touch with her warrior's pride and became nothing more than a weak weeping woman. She had drawn herself away from her comrades. She had shut Serph off her life. Yes, she constantly thought of him, but she hardly ever saw him anymore. She wondered if she was still special to him. She wondered if he still saw her the way he did before.
She wanted nothing more than for him to notice her. But, it would seem that she had caught someone else's attention. She groaned. She really didn't want to think of him right now. Her avoidance to think about Heat had been the sole reason why she came up there in the first place.
But nonetheless, it was too late. She gritted her teeth as she fought uselessly to hold back her tears. She looked at her hands, which trembled. Her tears fell on her hands. She hated herself. She wasn't Argilla anymore. Somewhere within the two weeks, she had lost her identity. She had lost her liberty and freedom. She was no longer her own person.
She was Heat's toy.
When will this all end? Up to when can she withstand this?
She gripped the railing tight. She wanted to jump but then thought of Serph. She smiled. He always managed to make her smile and make her burdens lighten.
'I think…that I lov-'
She suddenly felt a warm hand on her shoulder.
"Argilla…" a voice murmured behind her.
She smiled once more; she knew who it was. It was a really sweet thing. He knew everything about her. He knew about her favorite spots. She was glad that he was there now.
She slowly turned around and met his eyes; his steely yet compassionate silver eyes.
"Serph…" she breathed out.
He smiled warmly at her, "Hey…"
"What are you doing here?" she asked cheerfully.
"I came…to…find you." he spoke slowly.
"You…you did?" she asked in almost obvious disbelief. She felt her heart relax and her breathing relieved. He had looked for her. He still cared. And for that, she was happy.
A hand slowly came up to caress her face; she closed her eyes and sighed at the contact. It had felt so right.
"Serph…" she murmured, unconsciously leaning into his touch. She felt him move closer to her as she felt his body close the distance in between them. In that instant, her eyes flew open. She couldn't believe what was happening. Was Serph embracing her?
He was.
He wrapped his arms around her. Argilla was stunned. What if Heat saw? Her inner self yelled, 'Who fucking cares?! Serph is here now…go to him.'
She smiled; 'she' was right. This was where she wanted to be. She could deal with Heat when the situation called for it. She bit back her instinct to wince in pain. The atma mark on her chest was still healing; and Serph's embrace was not helping the process at all.
"I was worried about you. Besides…I just wanted to see you." He sighed but nonetheless, hugged her still, "We've just been so busy…that…we no longer had the time. But…I'm here now."
"Serph…" Argilla was confused. What was he saying?
He pulled away from her gently and looked into her eyes; he smiled, "Come on."
"Where to?"
He said nothing but just dragged her out of the building. Argilla, at first was worried that Heat may find her with Serph. But, as she took more steps with him; as they ran through the halls and the streets, her worry began to seep from her body just like the rain did from the streets and into the sewers.
She smiled.
There really weren't any place of natural beauty at Muladhara, or in the Junkland for that matter. Everything was a barren wasteland. Every structure they had and saw were all built over ancient civilizations. They really should just settle for what they have and not crave for something that they don't have.
Serph had taken her atop a ridge by the Southern outskirts of Muladhara. Argilla's eyes were tempted to water. They hadn't been there in a while. It was where they would often talk about things and just get some privacy. It was the place he often took her during her Cognitive Psychological Therapy.
Still holding her hand, he slowly lowered himself onto the ground, pulling her gently along with him to sit. She followed suit.
"Well…? Why did you bring me here Serph? Something on your mind?" she asked, tearing her gaze from the horizon to look at him.
Serph had remained quiet for a moment and then turned to her, his face held a sad expression in them.
"In two days, we…would meet…Lupa of the Wolves. Then…we would…fight the Brutes."
His tone was serious and low. Sure, Argilla had heard Serph be serious and grave when given an important mission. But, he was always confident. He was quick and steadfast. But, for some reason, it didn't feel that way now. There was something else in the way he just spoke that made Argilla worry.
"Serph," she began, bringing her hand up to cup his face, "What's wrong?"
He shook his head, "Nothing. Nothing is wrong."
Argilla looked at him with raw emotions in her eyes. The rain trickled down his face carelessly. They moved aimlessly from his forehead to his cheeks, through his lips and through his chin. Argilla swallowed a lump in her throat.
"Serph…please…I want to help you."
He sighed and smiled sadly.
"Argilla, for the first time…I really…don't know…what would happen."
She was confused, "What do you mean Serph?"
He took her hand and grasped it tight, "Before…I really wouldn't mind if I died in battle; I knew it would be an honorable death. I would die for the tribe. But…now…I'm not so sure."
Argilla was taken aback. He was having second thoughts?
"…Now…I'm not sure that I am ready to die."
"Serph…" she said, squeezing his hand, "You're not going to die. We're going to live. All of us." she said reassuringly.
He smiled, "It's not that I'm afraid of the pain Argilla. It's just that…I may have found a more important reason to live…something more important to me than the tribe."
Her heart raced.
"I have friends…I have my comrades. I'm not alone anymore. And…I have…you…" he said, staring intently into her eyes.
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying," he began, "that from here on, the battles would only be more dangerous. If I should die, I wouldn't want to have regrets. I know I have things to do and things to say. If I don't say them now, I may never do."
He pulled himself closer to her and held her neck gently, "Argilla…I…I never want to lose you."
Argilla's eyes watered and she sobbed into his chest, "You'd never lose me…never."
"Thank you." he murmured into her hair.
'Coward…' his inner voice hissed.
'Why don't you just tell her damn it?'
'It's not that simple…' he reasoned out.
'You're being such a pussy…'
'I'm not…'
'I'll bet Heat was a bit more forward than you.'
'…'
'What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?' the voice laughed and disappeared. Serph cursed himself; he wanted to tell her. But…like he said, it wasn't that simple. Argilla was a comrade and a close friend. If he told her and she didn't reciprocate, he would lose her. He would lose her confidence and trust.
And that was something that he could not afford to lose. For that, he was willing to put his feelings for her aside.
"Argilla…" he said, pulling away from her.
"Hmm…?"
"That wasn't the only reason I brought you here."
She blushed slightly; "Of course not. What is it then?"
Serph's silver eyes turned deadly serious, "There's something wrong with you Argilla. Why won't you tell me?"
She snatched her hand from him and turned away sharply, her brows knitting, "Nothing's wrong. How would you know anyway?"
It was Serph's turn to be nasty; he grabbed her arm and held it firmly, "I helped you get better Argilla…I know all about you. I know something's wrong."
It was no good. She was unresponsive. It was as he first found her. She refused to talk.
"Argilla. Please; is there…anyone bothering you?" As he asked her that question, he didn't miss the slight widening of her eyes and the immediate stiffening of her body, only to relax itself at its master's command.
So, someone was bothering her. Serph narrowed his eyes; he had a fairly good idea who it might be.
"Is…this person hurting you?"
Argilla turned to look at him, her eyes glaring at him, "You're right Serph. You were the one who helped me get better and you do know a lot about me. But…I've changed. I'm not the little girl you found by the outskirts of Muladhara! I can defend myself!"
She quickly stood up and looked down on him. Serph closed his eyes and opened them again, standing up as well, "You are a very special person to me Argilla. You know that. I only want to protect you. But…I can't make decisions for you. You're right…you've changed. I know that. I'm so proud of you, you know? But…as your friend, I know when you are hurting. And you're hurting a lot right now. I can't help you if you don't want to be helped. I would never want to see you hurt Argilla. I'll always be here for you…you know that, right?"
She was feeling guilty right there. Was he right? Could she really tell? But then, what about Heat? What would happen to him? Her thoughts were interrupted as Serph continued, "I love you…you know that right? I don't want to lose you."
With that, he left her alone. Argilla let her tears flow down her cheeks as she watched him leave. She cried because she felt guilty. She shouldn't have said those things to him. She owed him her life. He was a very special person to her. She cried because she didn't want to be in this position anymore. She didn't want to be someone's plaything anymore. She cried because she couldn't tell him anything.
She couldn't tell him what had been happening to her. So, she stood there, baring all of her burdens alone. He offered to help her; but she turned him down. Now, he was leaving her. He was right of course; it was she who could help herself.
'I love you too…'
xxxxx
The team ate their lunch with not much conversation. It was as if the room had been enveloped by a thick air of tension and nervousness. Even Cielo had been quiet. Argilla looked around her. Cielo stared at his food, digging at it disinterestedly with his fork. Gale had a faraway look on his face that he hardly ate at all! Heat was the only one that didn't change. He was still the same old Heat that everyone knew-silent, cold and dangerous.
She shuddered at the last part.
Every time she'd look at him it was as if she was staring death in the face. She was afraid of him, that was true, but at the same time, she felt pity for him. What he did to her had no justifiable reason or excuse.
But one must wonder, as to what made him act the way he did. Why did he hurt her? Why? Argilla cast her head down on her food; she really wouldn't know. Heat was the only one who knew that. If the issue had been purely because of mating, there had been other females in Muladhara who would suit him better. Why her? Why did he force her when she had already told him that she didn't want him? Again, Heat was the only person who would know that.
She forced herself to stop thinking of him, thus, looking into another direction. Directly into his face. She slumped as she sat on the bench. She felt guilty. She hadn't meant to push Serph away. But…Heat was her problem. She didn't need anyone else involved.
What he said back there…meant a lot to her. She couldn't help but manage a weak smile. The thought of Serph was enough to keep her hopes afloat. She also remembered his words 'I love you…'
She frowned. What did he mean? Could he possibly love her the way she loved him? Probably not. That was what hurt the most. To be loved as a friend and nothing more. To hope for something that was always out of reach.
What did she expect anyway?
'I thought that maybe…he'd notice me…if I were stronger…' she thought dejectedly.
The warm and fuzzy feeling that she had on her chest was replaced by something vile at the pit of her stomach. In that instant, it was as if she was going to be sick. He'd never notice her. In his eyes, she'd never change. She would always be the half-dead girl that he found by the Muladhara outskirts.
She couldn't take it anymore. She rose from the bench, earning her confused stares from her comrades and an intense gaze by both Heat and Serph.
"Umm…there's just something I've got to do. I'll see you guys later." she said curtly. She moved from the bench without another word. She knew that Serph wanted to say something but decided against it.
Good. She didn't have to think of an excuse then.
She knew that Heat had been displeased by her sudden leave. But she couldn't help it. The tension in the room was killing her. She needed some air. She could practically feel death-rays drilling holes on her back as she began to walk away form their table. To be sure, Heat would make her pay for that.
But, at that moment, as she thought more and more about her situation with Serph, the less she worried about her situation with Heat.
She walked calmly out of the mess hall and as she hit the streets of Muladhara, ran towards her favorite ridge once more. She needed to think again.
She sat there, letting her eyes glaze over the harsh terrain. Why did things turn out this way? Why was the land arid? Why was the sky a glaring yellow? Why was there an unending war? Why were they forced to live this nightmare?
'Why couldn't he love me…?'
She sighed.
"We really must stop meeting like this."
Argilla stiffened and then smiled.
"Yeah…" she agreed, "we should."
The figure smiled in return and sat down beside her, looking intently at the horizon.
"I saw you at the mess hall today. You looked sad." he said.
"So did you." she replied nonchalantly.
"I already told you why. I hid nothing from you."
Another pang of pain hit her heart. He hid nothing from her? So, then, he said everything that there was to say. Then, why did she hurt like this? Maybe it was because she expected him to say something else.
"Is that so?" she challenged.
"…"
Here she raised an eyebrow, "Serph…?"
He nodded and looked at her, only to find Argilla staring back him. He smiled sadly, "I meant what I said. I really…do…love you. But…Argilla, I can't protect you if you won't let me."
Argilla's eyes watered and a single tear rolled down her cheek. She smiled. Without another word, she wrapped her arms around him, burying her face on his chest, "I'm sorry…"
"…"
He said nothing but held her tighter. Was she ready to tell him now?
She gently rose from his chest and looked straight into his piercing eyes. He held her gaze with an intense gaze of his own. In that second, Argilla saw something flash within his eyes; it was a feeling of longing. She knew that look.
She had seen it.
Unfortunately for her, she had seen it too many times…from Heat. She gulped as she registered that their faces were only an inch apart. Her heart beat wildly against her chest in a pregnant feeling of anticipation.
His eyelids slowly closed, his arms snaking around her waist and at the back of her neck. He leaned in. Feeling caught in the moment, she closed her eyes as well and felt his lips on hers.
It was a chaste kiss.
He nibbled on her lower lip, gently slanting his face on hers. He moaned. The hairs on Argilla's skin stood. This was the happiest moment of her life. How many countless nights had it been since she started dreaming of him?
'Too damn many…' she thought.
Timidly, she parted her lips and gave him the permission that he had been seeking. Argilla wanted to pinch herself. Was this real? Was this a dream?
His tongue gently but expertly explored her mouth. She moaned in sheer pleasure. She had been kissed before, but this was different. Heat's kisses were hard and bruising. But Serph's kisses were passionate yet gentle. He didn't lack Heat's eagerness, but what made it different was that whenever Heat would kiss her, it was as if to punish her. Serph's kisses were made for her and her pleasure. Isn't this what one was to feel with their respective mates? No fear…no fright…no pain…just bliss…
He pulled her closer and held her tighter. She moaned as their tongues danced together. Argilla could feel their kiss become more heated as Serph's lips and tongue became more demanding. She met his force with ardor fervor of her own.
Serph was never really a man of words. His actions, though, spoke for themselves. But then, like all things, it came to an end. It came to a screeching halt as she mentally saw Heat's face. She abruptly stopped and pulled her face away from his, quickly opening her eyes. She blinked but only saw the face of her leader.
"What's wrong?" he asked worriedly.
"Serph…I…What was that…just now?" she asked, confused.
He looked down, not daring to meet her eyes, as if he were ashamed.
"Remember…that I told you I didn't want to die with regrets?"
"Uh huh…" she whispered.
"That is one of the things that I'd regret not doing." He had said it. She felt her heart melt.
"I do love you…" he whispered. "I'm just…sorry…"
She cupped his face in her hands and tugged gently for him to meet her eyes, "Why are you sorry?"
He held the hand that cupped his face, "I'm sorry that I could not offer you Nirvana. This…" he said, pointing to the harsh and arid terrain, "is all I can ever hope to offer you…should we win this war. But then…I'm not even certain that we would be victorious at all."
"Serph…" she smiled, "don't you think you're being overdramatic?" she asked with a tinge of humor. He chuckled, "Maybe you're right."
Argilla found herself speechless. The moment was terribly awkward. What should she say? The man just confessed his love for her…but…she knew she couldn't be with him. At least, not yet. She still had her problems to solve. God knows that there was nothing more that she would have loved to do than to tell him that she loved him too. But it shouldn't be done. It wouldn't be fair if she accepted him while Heat was still in the picture.
No, that wouldn't be fair.
It wouldn't be fair to anyone; not to her, not to Serph and not to Heat.
She stood up slowly. Serph looked up at her with confusion; she then held out her hand to him and smiled, "Come on. The others might be worried. Maybe they'd think that the Brutes kidnapped you or something." she laughed.
Serph took her hand and started to walk, with her by his side.
xxxxx
Heat looked at Argilla closely. She was different now than she was when she left. There was something different about her that he couldn't quite place. He looked at his leader. There was something different about him too. His eyes narrowed.
Something happened with those two.
But then, he shook his head. Argilla had a tendency to be moody. As for Serph's behavior, the turmoil of battle and war was enough to test the sanity of even the most devout and disciplined warrior. Serph may be a good leader, but he was still human.
Try as he might, Heat just couldn't bring himself to be convinced by what he had just thought. There was just something unsavory about how the two were behaving. Granted, they didn't look at each other, heck, they didn't even sit together. But why…did it feel wrong to Heat?
He scowled; didn't matter anyway, he'd just beat the information out of her.
"Well," Heat growled at Gale, "Why the hell are we here again?"
Gale stared blankly at Heat, noticing the sudden change of Heat's behavior. Whereas a few seconds ago he had been irritable, now, he was explosive.
"We are here to discuss about possible assassination plans against Lupa. Everything would be riding in this assassination. Failure is not an option. We must plan and plan carefully."
Heat snorted, "What's there to discuss? Just wait for him to turn his back and shoot him on the head."
Gale rolled his eyes at Heat, "It is that sort of reasoning that would get the mission to fail," he drawled. "We are here to plan on who among us would fight Lupa. He is the Wolves' Leader. That title entails that he is with great physical prowess and uncommon intelligence."
Here, Cielo and Argilla snorted, "Yah? Wat about Mick den ja? How'd he become leader den?" Argilla laughed and ruffled Cielo's hair, "Maybe the Solids just didn't have enough choices. I mean, if they chose Mick as their leader…well, it says a lot about them! Hahaha…"
Heat could only listen to her soft voice. She laughed so lightheartedly that he almost envied her. For a moment there, it was as if she had reverted back to her old self. Her old self; the one uncontaminated by him.
Gale said nothing but just looked onto the two laughing. It was good to see that their team's spirit was returning. He had noticed all of their faces during lunch. The thought of them being like that for the remainder of their lives was…foreboding. He wasn't used to seeing them like that.
"So den," Cielo piped in, playfully dodging Argilla's petting hands, "wat would you say for our leader den?"
Here, Argilla froze. The whole team looked at her expectantly. All except Serph. Serph knew anyway. Argilla looked at Cielo who was grinning like mad. Heat looked expectantly at her as well. It was as if he were daring her to say something that would damn her in his eyes. She suddenly felt her mouth very dry.
"De fact the we picked Serph would mean dat it spoke a lot of about us Embryon-people ja?"
Argilla nodded, suddenly feeling her confidence return, "That's right Cielo."
Heat raised an eyebrow. Serph just turned his head to look at her. Now, she piqued his interest.
"It would mean…that…we believe in more than just brute strength. We believe in more than just the standard way of defining the word 'leader'. The word 'leader' entails someone physically strong, largely built, handsome…and all the positive qualities that you could think of. But…we didn't let that play here. Sure, Serph is quick witted; he is wise beyond his years. He's young but has the experience and wisdom of a sage. He may not be largely built like Varin or Mick…but he possesses something they don't. That is…the heart."
Heat froze in his spot; his heart stopped beating. This woman…she loved Serph. He could see it as plain as day. He looked at Serph. He looked longingly at her; he loved her too. Heat could feel his insides wanting to burst. He was angry.
"Serph is in power…because of his heart. He loves the tribe and everyone in it. He fights this war…not to just win and prove his worth and strength as a warrior. Rather…he fights…for us…" she looked from Cielo to Gale to Heat and back to Serph.
"He just wants us…to have a brighter future. Brighter than what we have now. That's all. That's why…choosing him as leader…speaks a lot about us Embryon-people." she finished with a smile, ruffling Cielo's hair again.
Cielo, who was momentarily stunned by her speech, did not get enough time to dodge her eager hands, "Ay! My hair ja? You're ruining it!"
They all laughed. All but Heat. He couldn't say anything. He didn't know what to think.
Gale nodded, "Agreed. That is an advantage that we have against the other tribes."
Cielo stuck his tongue out, "Ey man! We just talked about 'heart' ja? And you're talking about using this 'heart' as a strategy plan! Sheeshh!"
Gale grinned, "Precisely. It is something that the Brutes and Solids lack. I'm not sure about Lupa and the Wolves though. It is said that Lupa is favored by his tribesmen because he is wise and honorable. It would seem that he has this 'heart' as well. In that case, it would be an even match to the death. His sentries and comrades would fight to their last breath. We would too. It is all the more reason why we must conduct this meeting. For an adversary that is in our likeness, we must find a common weakness and exploit it."
Cielo cocked an eyebrow, "Weakness? Wat weakness could there be?"
Gale looked at the team before him with a stern look on his face, "The 'heart' itself is its own weakness and strength."
The three, with the exception of Serph, looked confusedly at Gale. Gale nodded, "If we are to fight someone with the heart, our task is not easy. What we need is to fight fire with fire, which we would do. But the question is-which team would contain the most of this 'heart'?"
Argilla nodded in understanding, "So, what we must do is that…we must show them that we have what it takes to beat them. Our strength lies in our belief in one another. To be able to defend and love one another."
"That's correct; theoretically, that is."
It was easier said than done though.
Cielo smacked his forehead, "Don't tell me dat you're going to say, 'I do not comprehend wat the heart is' ja?"
Gale let blood rush to his head; they all noticed and laughed. Heat didn't though. Her words were still sending fire alarms to his head. He needed to control her.
Gale cleared his throat, "So, as I was saying, there would be a team of three. The other two would dispose of Lupa's sentries and other reinforcements. If there are none, which is highly doubtful, the other two can assist Serph in battle."
Heat snorted, "Well, if that's the case," he began, crossing his arms, "what's there to think about? The team would consist of Serph, me and…one more."
Here, Gale thought for a moment, "Agreed. Heat is our strongest fighter. He would be an asset to the battle. The other should be…"
"I'll go." Argilla stated firmly, her eyes looking at Gale's cold and impassive emerald orbs.
Heat looked at Argilla, furrowing his eyebrows. He expected as much. She probably couldn't stand being away from that bastard for more than two minutes! That bitch.
"Besides," she piped in cheerfully, "I need to keep an eye on Heat and Serph. They may end up killing each other before we get to Lupa."
Heat's heart skipped a beat as she looked at him. Her look wasn't that of anger or of pity or of fear. It was of concern…it was as if her eyes were telling him that she would be there for him; that she would protect him.
Gale nodded. "So be it. Argilla is our best magic user. Another asset to the team. So it's settled. The main task force will comprise of Serph, Argilla and Heat. Cielo and I will cover the rear."
"Any questions?"
No one spoke a word.
"Good. You are all dismissed."
xxxxx
It was 1600 hours. Argilla found herself by the railing once more. She had no problems in the mornings and afternoons. It was in the evening and during the night when her problems would arise. She hardly saw Heat at all during the mornings and afternoons. He had his own duties to attend to. But, that was probably all the more reason why he was all the more eager to see her at night…
She closed her eyes. She had just finished her shift at the training facility. She was tired but not exhausted.
She just had a lot of things in her mind.
The upcoming battle was unavoidable. Their strategy was not something that she could condone. Treachery was anything but honorable. But then, they had no choice. They were playing the cards that they were dealt. And Gale assured her that they were playing them correctly.
She always thought that battles and problems could be solved without resorting to barbaric notions (in her opinion), such as betrayal and treachery. But now, she wasn't so sure. There was no other alternative. Survival was at stake. And as she looked at all their new recruits, young or old, it was more reason for them to win this war.
No matter the cost.
"Thank you." a voice spoke from behind her.
She turned and saw Serph. He was smiling at her.
"For what?" she asked.
"For believing in me."
She smiled and turned her head back toward the horizon. Serph walked up beside her and grasped the railing firmly, looking at the horizon as well, unspeaking.
"I never lost faith in you Serph. You will always have my loyalty." she said slowly, never taking her eyes off the scenery.
Here, Serph turned to look at her. She didn't look back. Taking his right hand from the railing, he brought it gently up her face and tugged it gently to take its lead. Argilla followed the hand's lead and she looked at Serph in the eyes.
He sighed and caressed her face, "That means a lot to me."
She smiled but said nothing. She could feel the disappointment and the feeling of hurt in Serph's body language. He had confessed his feelings for her. But she had said nothing in return.
"Argilla…"
"Hm?"
"I…," he began, hesitating, "I want to be…with you."
Her heart throbbed, her hands gripping the rails tightly.
"What…do you mean? I am with you Serph. Always."
He shook his head, "No. Not that way…I want you…to be mine."
She blinked. "Serph…"
"I know…you love me too…"
He closed the distance between them and took her in his arms. She didn't object. She wrapped her arms around his waist, nuzzling her face in his chest.
"Serph I…don't know what to say…"
"Say you'll be mine Argilla…please…"
He was pleading with her. It was breaking her heart. She just wanted to tackle him right there and smother him with kisses. But she knew she couldn't.
"There would be hell to pay…" she remembered Heat saying.
So, with her last ounce of strength and self-control, she pushed him away. She looked to see the expression on his face. It was an expression that she had never seen before. It was a face of extreme pain, suffering and confusion.
"No…"
She saw as his face fell; his world crumbling into pieces.
"…" he said nothing but it would appear that he wanted her to continue.
"I can't…Serph I…can't."
"Why not?" he asked; his voice cracking.
"Not right now…I just…have too many things to think about right now."
She expected him to be angry with her; angry or disappointed. But he just stood there, a sad smile in place. He said nothing but enveloped her in his arms once again, "I know you have problems. That's fine if you don't want to tell me…but I just want you to know…I'm here…always. And…I know that…you love me…so…even if you're not with me…I know how you feel. And that's enough for me."
She felt her tears roll down her cheeks. Where was the fairness of it all? She said nothing and pulled herself away again. She dared not look at him and without a word, she turned and left him standing by the railing.
He looked on after her. She needed time. She needed to sort out her feelings…and deal with her problems. But, would she come back to him when she was ready? That was a question that he wasn't sure he wanted to answer. By protocol, he should stop his advances on her since she already rejected him…but his instincts told him that it was because of something else rather than unrequited feelings that prompted her to do what she did and say what she said.
Because of that, he'd bend the rules just a bit. He'd wait.
He knew that she loved him. That was all that mattered.
xxxxx
Dinner was a bit livelier than their lunch. The five sat at their respective table and laughed merrily at the story Cielo told.
"And den, when he tried to fire his grenade launcher, he realized dat it was empty ja? The Vanguard was right at Heat's face! He was helpless!!"
Gale almost choked on his food as he tried imagine Heat being "helpless".
"You see…Heat was new ja? And, it was his first mission! In de rush, he just grabbed his weapon from the barrack without inspecting it! Hahhahahaha! You all should have heard him scream too!"
Guffaws of laughter were heard in the mess hall. Everyone of the Embryon, who were present, looked curiously at their superiors. Had they all gone crazy?
Heat rose from his seat and attempted to grab Cielo and ring his neck from the other side of the table. Cielo, being the most agile of the group, dodged his attempts with little effort.
"He screamed like a little girl!!" he yelled, letting the whole mess hall hear. Gasps were heard all around. Argilla, who sat beside Heat and was directly across from Serph, grabbed his arm and whispered, "I think you better sit down. The other members don't know that it's you we're talking about…" she grinned, "but they would soon know if you keep trying to kill Cielo like that."
Heat was mesmerized by her eyes. It was the first time in a while that she initiated speaking to him at all. This was, an unexpected turn of events.
He nodded and sat down quickly, glaring at Cielo. Gale just cleared his throat; his laughter just caused him to choke. Serph just laughed wholeheartedly.
"And for the record," Heat said, rolling his eyes, "I didn't 'scream'. That was you; you idiot!"
Cielo sweat-dropped, "Dat's not true! You screamed! It sounded like dis!"
The shrilling sound of a female's scream echoed through the mess hall. Argilla and Gale slammed their fists of the table, banging it loudly as they laughed to their hearts' contents; their chests heaving.
Heat smirked; "I sounded like that? Wow…you've been practicing that one for a while now, haven't you?"
They laughed harder and Argilla, panted, her words released from her lips with difficulty, "So…Cielo…it was…you who screamed after all eh?"
Gale joined in, "It would make much more sense Cielo. If it were indeed Heat, then, how was it that you could reproduce his 'scream' the way that you did just now? Or was it that you're not being truthful at all?"
Cielo blushed a beet red, "I aint admitting anything brudda! He screamed!" he said, pointing at Heat, "It's de truth."
Heat rolled his eyes, "Whatever…idiot."
"Alright, alright. Settle down kids." Serph's voice broke through their laughter. He was chuckling too, "Stop picking on Cielo. He may be telling the truth."
Cielo pointed at Serph while looking at Gale, "Aha! Dere! You see, leader believes me!"
Argilla chuckled and Serph sweat-dropped, "Erm…'believing' is such a strong word. I'm more leaning towards…giving you the benefit of the doubt."
"Ack! Wat's dis? No one believes me anymore?"
Heat sneered, "That's because you are such an idiot."
"Hmph! You're just too dumb!" Cielo said, sticking his tongue out.
Heat rose again and attempted to grab Cielo, "Why you little bastard!"
Argilla restrained him, clutching his hand, "Stop that Heat! Sit down!" she said firmly, and yet there was something playful in her eyes. Heat nodded, "Yeah, well, if he says anymore crap like that I'll personally skin him alive."
Gale chuckled, "Indeed."
They all laughed again and continued to eat. As they did, Argilla felt a warm hand slide through the slits of her skirt. It traveled from her knee to her thigh. She suppressed a moan. Why here? Serph and the others were here! Was he crazy?!
She looked at him from the corner of her eyes and saw him eating his food "with much concentration". She inwardly snorted; the only thing he was concentrating on was making her squirm in her seat as his hand traveled deeper into her thigh.
She remembered Serph telling her that he loved her. She cursed herself. She wanted to stop all of this. She didn't want to be Heat's toy any longer. Serph was there for her; and she intended to be there for him. And she will, no matter how dire the consequence.
"Ey." Cielo said slowly, breaking the silence, "Wat's wid you all of a sudden?" he asked, pointing at her face. Now, this caught Gale's and Serph's attention. Heat merely looked at her with mock and feigned concern.
Gale leaned closer to her face, "Cielo is right. You're turning red. Are you having a fever?" She looked at Gale and her blush began to deepen, "I don't know what you're talking about." she denied.
"No, no." Cielo said, shaking his head, "It's right dere ja? You want a mirror?"
Heat snorted, "You carry a mirror? Freak."
"Hey!" Cielo yelled, "Nobody asked you!"
Heat scowled, "Shut up you maggot."
The team laughed once more, the blush on Argilla's cheeks forgotten. Their attention was on Heat and Cielo once more. But Serph wasn't swayed by the change of topic. He saw the blush on Argilla's face and knew that it was no fever that had brought it about. He wasn't stupid. He saw the way they looked at each other.
Heat loved her too. Up until that moment, it was only a suspicion he had; nothing more than annoying voices in his head. He told Heat a while ago to stay away from her. That was because he felt that Heat would hurt her…but the way he looked at her now…It was as if…he really loved her. She on the other hand, seemed confused. It was Heat making her blush. Serph felt a pang of pain sting his heart. Was this the problem that she needed to sort out? Was she in love with two men?
Did she like Heat better?
He cast his head down. He wouldn't give up without a fight. He knew that she loved him too. That was what he was counting on.
xxxxx
Heat paced around his room; his feelings had not changed. He thought about a lot of things. His fingers twitched and his muscles tightened at the notion of fighting the Brutes. They would meet Lupa in two days. Then, the real offensive would begin. It would begin most probably almost immediately.
After all, they really don't know how long the Solids could hold out.
'Those pieces of shit. They won't know what hit them.' It had been a long while since Heat had seen any action. He missed the battlefield. It was the only time where he could really be himself.
There, he could do whatever he wanted. No one could tell him what to do or not to do. But then, Gale had come up with these so-called "Rules of Engagement".
'It's a whole lotta bullshit.' he thought, sneering.
He forced himself to calm down and he sat on his bed. He suddenly found the urge to smile. She was to come to him that night. But then…he also remembered how her aura had changed when they met at the Strategy Room. He also remembered her telling him that Serph had wanted to meet her today.
What did he want? Did they meet? If they did, what did he say?
'Or did he do something?' he thought darkly.
His thoughts were interrupted as his doors slid open. He instantly looked up to see Argilla looking at him; her expression was hard to read. He looked away from her and said nothing. Seeing her like this hurt him for some reason. She had come to him willingly. He didn't even have to remind her to come to him that night. She just did. She stepped up towards him and sat down on his bed.
It was weird for her to be there with him, but for some reason, she did not fear him. At least, not yet.
As she sat down beside him, unmoving, unspeaking; he began to wonder. Was he really intent on meeting his objective through her? He originally planned her to be a pawn in his game; no more, no less. But he found himself mesmerized by her; the whole of her; her attitude, her strength, her beauty…everything.
He wanted her. But then, when he had her…things changed still. He almost forgot about his real objective.
And as he sat there with her, he began to ask himself, was he still going to go through his plan?
xxxxx