You are sitting in your bed, reflecting on what Ram had spat out at you. You aren't going to the village with Subaru and Emilia anymore, so you have quite a lot of time to be left with your thoughts.

I hate myself for being so dumb. Ram never had any interest in me... This is obviously Roswaal's fault! Why else would make Ram toy with me like that?

I can't believe that I let my guard down like that. I let my desires get ahead of me, and I was fooled. I can't let that happen again.

I can't be useless too, because I don't want to be the guy who's just good for housework. I've got to take things much more seriously now, and I have to stop slacking off.

I have to stop relying on others so much and take my fate into my own hands. I've just been Subaru's compliment ever since I got here. I was just planning on following the original Re:Zero plot and keep it from getting worse.

What I really need to be doing is to be taking action so that things are better.

I need to become more independent. Obviously, I can't rely on everybody since they're all scheming. Everybody has their own plan, so I need to make one for myself.

You grab at your hair, and sink further into your bed. You still had no clear goal in mind, just like you had been for your entire life.

What do I do?

As you pondered your future, a knock came from your door. You tense up, hoping that it wasn't a certain somebody. You wouldn't be able to face her and keep new tears at bay. Your first ever rejection was one that would have made any person go through pure anguish.

"Who is it?" You ask with a voice that is still a little shaky.

"It is Rem." You narrowed your eyes.

Did Ram send her here to talk to me? If so, I'm not interested. Well, I don't want to be rude, so I'll let her in. I'll tell her to get out if I don't like where the conversation heads.

"Come in." You say this with hesitance, and Rem noticed.

"(Y/N)-san, is something wrong? You do not seem like your usual self." She seemed genuinely puzzled, so you figured that she didn't know about what Ram told you. That, or she was a very talented actress.

You sit up straight, and scratch the side of your face. Rem came closer to your side, and you were almost tempted to tell her about your troubles.

The key word is 'almost'. After what Ram said, you were hesitant about sharing something so personal with Rem.

You shake your head. "I'll be fine, thanks for asking." You give her a small smile, but Rem didn't seem like she was finished asking questions.

"If you say so..." She started tapping her fingertips together, and began fidgeting. "If you don't mind, can you..." she started blushing, and you were about to call her out for trying to do the exact same thing that Ram did to you, but the end of her sentence stopped you. "Can you tell me about Subaru-kun?"

This answer took you back by surprise. How cruel. I just got rejected, and you want me to indulge in your crush on Subaru.

You let out a sigh. Rem is just so pure... I was just having some pretty dark thoughts, but she just came along and quelled them. Well, I'll make sure to do some more self-reflection later. Right now, I'll answer her questions.

"What exactly do you want to know?" Once you decided to tell Rem what she wanted to hear, you tried to buy a little time so that you could remember things about Subaru's past. According to your fabricated backstory, you two grew up together, so Rem expects you to know a lot about him.

"Umm..." She blushed even harder, and you couldn't help but take note of how cute the blue haired oni looked. "Can you tell me about how Subaru was when he was a child?"

You strain your forehead, trying to remember aspects of Subaru's past. "Well, he was decently talented at whatever he did, and he was -and still is- pretty smart. As he got older though, he started becoming more of a jokester, and his talent seemed to suffer as a result. The him that you see now is the result." Hoping that this very brief summary was good enough, you gaze at Rem and wait for a comment.

"Really? Why did he start joking around more and waste his talent like that? Seeing him now, does he not want to be more useful?"

Rem's question not only applied to Subaru, but it also connected to you on a personal level. For a while now, you've just been laid back, and you haven't given your all for just about anything. You could've been a better version of yourself, but you've been content being a lazy person instead.

Since Rem was waiting for a response, you gave her one that you think is accurate. "Well, I can't be completely sure, but I think that Subaru did this because he was always compared to his father, so he turned to something that would distinguish him. He just had such a heavy shadow hanging over him that it broke him."

Rem stiffened at this, and you know why. When she was a child, Rem was always compared to Ram, who was significantly past her in magical talent. This, being a similarity they share, is just another reason for her to like Subaru.

Before this conversation could go anywhere else, you decide to destroy Rem's hopes. Not because you dislike her, but because you didn't want her to get rejected because you now knew how that felt.

"Rem..." she looked into your eyes, and you already feel guilty about telling her this. "I just want to let you know that Subaru loves Emilia." You feel a shudder run through your body, and you feel like a terrible person.

Rem's eyes dropped, and she muttered, "I know, but I love him. I can't leave him alone. Even if he ever rejects my love for him, I always want to be there for him. Just because he can't love me back is no reason for me to stop loving him."

Your mouth opens slightly. What she just said can apply to Ram...

What am I thinking? Only an idiot would still have hope for her after what I just went through. Whatever idealistic words that Rem believes can't apply to everybody. Love like that seldom occurs outside of stories.

Rem takes note of your expressions, and read them like an open book. "I can understand if you don't want to talk about it, but I can tell that you are suffering from something along the lines of a relationship, correct?"

You clench your jaw, and neither confirm or refute what she just said. Rem nodded at this, and softly said, "If you ever want to talk about it, don't hesitate to tell somebody. I would know. Holding in your anger and your sorrow is never good." She did a small bow, and proceeded to exit your room.

Just as she was about to open the door, Rem turned her head over her shoulder. "Thank you for telling me a little bit about Subaru-kun. I could tell that you would be a good person to talk to about this." She then put a finger over her mouth. "But don't tell him about any of this." Saying everything that she wanted to, Rem left your room.

Your mouth slowly turned to a scowl.

That lucky failure. How come Subaru has all of these girls falling for him? I have the opposite reaction, and he doesn't even realize how lucky he is. Subaru will never have to worry about a relationship because one is guaranteed for him.

But seriously, is it not suspicious how he already has girls liking him? We've been injured equally, but he's the one getting all of the attention.

It's probably because of my ability. Nobody seems to care about me because they think I'll be fine because my wounds will heal, and nothing will be wrong with m-

The corners of your mouth turn slightly up. No, that's not right. I've already had two people ask me if I'm all right. I can't criticize them for my issues when they've offered help. I hate to admit it, but I might actually have to talk to someone. The question is who I should talk to.

Who can I actually trust, and who can actually give me good advice?

You ponder this, but come to an entirely different conclusion. You know what, I don't have to talk to anybody. My troubles seem so dumb when I think about it. What would I tell someone? That I'm lonely and I want them to appreciate me more?

No, I have to fix all of that myself. I can't force my problems on other people. I can only rely on myself to make a future for myself. Relying on others will only lead to disappointment.

Now, about my purpose here...

You think about Rem, and how she had just made your day significantly better. For now, I'll take baby steps. First, I'm going to make sure that I will never hear "Who's Rem?" ever again. After that, I'll keep on doing what I feel is right.

But before I can do any of that, I need to become stronger. My training arc is about to begin.

Time Skip

You are outside, groaning as you stretch your legs. You were almost fully recovered from the fight from yesterday, but that didn't mean that your muscles were still in good shape.

It's probably been about two weeks since you last went on a run, and you know that you will be feeling slight pain as you exert your neglected muscles.

You shake your legs for good measure, and begin jogging away from the mansion and into the forest. Taking in deep breaths and making sure that you kept a steady pace, you allowed your mind to wander.

I wonder how I'm going to train to get stronger. Just going running like this won't help much, so I probably need to find somebody to teach me. Let me see, some good people would be Reinhard, Wilhelm, and maybe Julius.

The only issue is actually getting them to train me. I'm sure that they're all very busy, and don't have time to waste teaching me how to fight. Of course, that's no reason not to try and ask them. I need to be proactive, and actually do my best to improve myself. For example, if running is all that I can do right now, this is what I'll do.

And when it's safe to do so, I'll practice magic. With time, I should be able to cast some pretty cool spells. Maybe I can do some illusions and cast powerful light attacks. Puck also mentioned that I can use buffs, so I should probably learn that first so that I can do something useful that doesn't involve others directly depending on me to defeat something, because that is beyond my capabilities as of now.

Your legs are beginning to feel tight, and a burning sensation is spreading across them. Your breath is beginning to feel more forced, and you know that your lungs will begin to hurt soon.

Of course, before I do any of that, I need to get my body in better shape.

You continue running for about twenty more minutes, with your breath becoming increasingly ragged and your body objecting to the sudden exercise. As you came back to the mansion, you saw a carriage.

Wiping the sweat off of your face, you slowed down to a walk and approached it.

If I remember correctly, then Wilhelm and Felix should be here. Should I ask Wilhelm to train me?

No, it's too early. I'll certainly get rejected if I ask now. If I go to the capital and meet him there, that will be when I ask him.

Your guess was right, and the senior butler faced you as you approached him. "Hello. Do you live in this mansion?" he asked.

You nodded your head, and reminded yourself to be polite. "Yes sir. I am actually a butler here, but I'm on break right now, so I went for a run."

"I can see that..." He examined your sweaty face, and could hear your deep breathing.

"So, how can I help you? As you are a visitor, it is my job to accommodate you." You inwardly grin. Acting like a butler was so cool.

Oh wait, I'm not acting like a butler. I am a butler.

Wilhelm shook his hands. "There is no need for that. I am merely waiting for a certain somebody to finish their business with your master. And besides," he pointed toward the mansion. "Your coworker has already prepared for that."

You look behind the butler, and see Subaru carefully walking with some tea for the guest. He noticed you, and called out. "Hey (Y/N), where were you? I thought that you were coming to the village with me!"

You silently curse him for asking this question in front of other people. "Something came up. I'll fill you in later." Wilhelm nodded his head knowingly, as if he understood what you meant.

Subaru arrived with his tea. He gave Wilhelm a cup, but before he gave you one, you refused. You might not know a lot abut tea, but from your limited butler experience you could tell that this was very expensive.

Knowing what this meant, a look of horror crept up on your face. Noticing this, Subaru chuckled. "This is actually the most expensive tea that we have here. If a certain pink haired maid found out that we were drinking this without permission, she would flip out."

You idiot. The last thing that I need right now is getting Ram upset over some leaves! I don't think that I can handle her while she's calm, so I certainly can't handle her in berserk mode.

Wilhelm sipped the tea, and you almost fainted. He dared to drink it when he knew the price that you might have to pay for it. "Yes, I feel like I am indulging in a great luxury. What exactly do you want from this old man, using this bait?"

Subaru leaned closer to him, and dropped his voice. "Oh, I just want to know the reason for this visit, that's all. If you could at least give me a vague hint..."

You roll your eyes. You could easily tell Subaru what was happening here, but he decided to be dumb and find out the hard way.

"Hmm..." Wilhelm considered his options. "I'm unsure of your standing in this mansion, but I saw that you seem very close to Emilia-san."

Subaru blushed. "Oh, you think so?" Before he could go on, you punched him in the arm. There was going to be no showing off his relationship status in front of you.

While Subaru rubbed his arm, Wilhelm continued his response. "Even so, I cannot tell you. These are very delicate matters that I should be careful about discussing."

Subaru dropped his shoulders, and proceeded to whine. "Why? It involves Mee-Lee, so please tell me!"

As soon as Subaru used that pet name for Emilia, you gave him the stink eye of death. You're going to have to have a conversation about this later.

The older butler almost spit out his tea when he heard that. "Mee-Lee? Are you not aware that Emilia-san is a future candidate for the ruler of Lugunica?"

Subaru shook his head at that. "'Future' is the key word. Right now, I just see her as a cute girl who has stolen my heart. You probably think that your wife is the prettiest girl, right? That's how I think of Emilia."

At the mentioning of his wife, Wilhelm's eyes soften. "Yes indeed. I believed that my wife was the most beautiful woman in the world..."

You once again curse Subaru. He shouldn't just go out and say things like that. Wilhelm's wife is dead. You don't just casually mention her like that.

Without notice, somebody else came to the wagon.

"I'm back, Old Man Wil!" Everybody turned, and you almost say something that should not be said to this person's face.

It is Felix, and you barely fought the urge to yell 'trap!' when you saw her- I mean, him.

"Were you bored?" asked the cat-man(?).

"Not at all. These two gentlemen were kind enough to keep me company." Wilhelm gestured to both you and Subaru.

"Nya?" Felix observed both of you, and continued with, "Are you the two boys that Emilia-san was talking about?"

Subaru was about to say something stupid, but you replied first. "Yeah, probably." You weren't going to deal with any of Subaru's romantic crap, and you stood firm on that.

He didn't seem to really care, as he said, "Well, let's go, Old Man Wil!" Wilhelm gave you a small bow, and left with Felix and the other guy that has apparently gotten in the carriage while Felix was distracting you.

As they began to ride away, Felix asked, "Why were you talking with those boys? It's unusual for nyu to be talking to people like them."

Wilhelm's face hardened, and for a moment, all that could be heard was the rolling of the wheels on the dirt path. "It was in their eyes. Both of those boys have experienced death; experienced something in a way that we can't imagine."

Hey guys, I hope that you enjoyed this chapter!

I'd like to thank BizzareWires again for helping me with this story.

Well, see you next time!