Chapter Seventeen

What Are We Now?

A pale moon had risen high in the night sky. Through sheer curtains, the light cast cool shadows around the dark room. Sprawled on his back, Seifer had managed to ease a sleeping commander close. As the brunet rest a head on his chest, he absently stroked the soft mop of hair. It had already become an odd habit of his.

Even after their gratifying activities, Squall had been distant. Seifer wasn't sure what he had been expecting. The new object of his infatuation was certainly not to be held to any previous standards. The brunet had drifted off on the other side of the bed and hadn't seemed keen on cuddling up. Unsure whether he should be reading very far into it at all, he had decided to let tired commander have his own way until falling asleep. To his utmost pleasure, it had only taken a little prompting before the brunet had unconsciously furled against him.

A delicate hand rested nearby the boy's sleeping face, seeming almost childlike in pose, as though pout lips might part to suck on a thumb. Seifer had never seen his rival so unguarded.

While the commander slept soundly, sleep eluded the ex-knight. His mind continued to replay what had happened that day while he analyzed every subtle feeling he felt inside. His feelings had changed, which was something he had suspected since dreaming of his rival the other night. There was no excusing his desires as suppressed libido and he wasn't the sort of person to run away from the truth. He had to acknowledge the lust and passion he felt for the reticent young man. Though alarmed, Seifer would even go so far as to suspect that he was falling in love or at least forming a level of attachment beyond lust.

Admittedly, he had always cared about Squall, though never in a romantic sense. They hadn't been friends, but they were still closer to one another than anyone else. When they had ended up being the only originals left at the orphanage, it had been clear that in the whole world they only had each other. Being the cocky asshole that he was, he would never have admitted how much he valued having the brunet under the same roof. Arriving at Balamb Garden had been exciting, depressing, and frightening all at once. Quiet little Leonhart had been sent with him, making the change bearable.

Seifer sighed, stilling at the slight stirring his actions caused in the brunet. When he was certain the sated lion was still sound asleep, he relaxed.

Thinking back again, he wondered if his constant focus on taunting Squall had just been an excuse. He could remember feeling a confusing longing when glancing across the cafeteria at the isolated loner. Though he had easily made friends, he could never forget or ignore the scrawny boy whose stubborn nature rivaled his own. He had always searched the milling crowds between classes for a glimpse of chocolate brown hair.

He was reluctant to admit that his constant badgering of the boy may have been his way of making sure they had some relationship when friendship wasn't an option. He had been older and too hubristic to befriend someone who was on par with his skill level, so that had only left rivalry.

Why hadn't he realized it before?

Seifer received an answer when Squall shifted in his hold, gently raking fingertips over his bare chest. His entire body seemed to react like a sensitive bundle of nerves, shivering pleasantly at the ghosting touch. His altered perception of their relationship was the result of having recently felt overwhelming lust for his rival, which more than suggested he had been overlooking something. Such urges didn't spring from thin air. He hadn't noticed the underlying attachment beneath their rivalry because he had never had a reason to look for it.

When the seemingly fragile form in his arms shifted again, Seifer responded by resuming his petting of soft hair. He felt an indiscernible emotion when his ministrations caused the brunet to grow still again, the unconscious lion receiving what had been missing. A grin brightened handsome features as he gazed at the commander, who was so terribly trusting while sleeping with him.

Thoughts returning to the hedonistic activities that had taken place in that very bed, Seifer regretted not being able to hold out longer. The day had been long and his body had been denied release after first kissing the commander, so he understood that the culmination of intense arousal and sore need had brought him to a quick end.

Just thinking of all the fun things he could do with the slim and toned body beside him sent a familiar a blood rush to his loins. He still couldn't believe the younger man was a virgin. Smiling secretively, he reminded himself that Leonhart's virginity would be his for the taking. Training the brunet's sensitive body to respond to his touch would be quite enjoyable. If he knew his rival, then the inexperienced man would want to practice repeatedly until honing new skills and techniques. It was a very exciting prospect, especially since he knew the commander had quite the fast learner.

Almost shivering in delight, Seifer knew he had found the perfect bed partner. Their rivalry persisted despite Leonhart being a commander and him not belong to garden anymore. Sex would become a competition, where they constantly strove to outdo each other and make the other feel unparalleled pleasure. He could hardly wait to begin teaching the brunet all the deliciously perverted things the virgin boy knew nothing of.

Seifer moved his hand from choppy brown hair and trailed it down a smooth bare back. Slipping lower, under the blanket that was drawn up, he groped one of several sinfully appealing features. The drool worthy ass of Commander Leonhart was perhaps the only reason so few people argued against the commander wearing leather pants in place of the baggy uniform.

"Nnh," Squall mumbled, still beneath the veil of slumber. Shiva's stifled laughter echoed in his mind as the snowy world faded. He had sought her advice after what he had done with the ex-knight. His guardian had been of little help, only giving cryptic answers to questions he never seemed to even ask. Shiva had begun to laugh before informing him their time was up and that someone else needed him.

Seifer's body flared with heat when the brunet unconsciously arched against his hand. That lithe body was apparently very honest when the commander's stubborn resolve wasn't present to control it. He couldn't wait for future opportunities to exploit such knowledge.

At the first fluttering of long lashes, Seifer turned and wrapped his other arm around the brunet's waking body. Pulling the boy closer, he shifted to lay himself more atop. Before soft lips could part and speak in protest, he attacked a sensitive ear.

"Seifer-ngh!" Squall had still been wondering at Shiva's odd behavior when he had been jolted awake by roaming hands and a nipping mouth at his ear.

Teasing the soft lobe with his teeth, Seifer felt less guilty about disturbing the brunet's sleep when the first sound from that sweet mouth was his name. He never felt such appreciation for his name then he did right then.

Biting his lip, Squall fought to keep control over his body. It was a new and troubling experience to have his body not obeying his mind. He might have been less angry if it didn't seem so much like his body was listening to Seifer's command instead of his own. Shaking off the last remnants of sleep, he tried to pull away. With the larger blond practically on top of him, he only managed to press against the bed. Pointedly turning his head away, he rejected the older boy's touch. "What is it?" he asked evenly, knowing the blond wouldn't have woken him up after so much arguing the past couple days to get more rest.

Propping himself up with muscular arms on either side of the warm body below, Seifer gazed at the commander's profiled face. The indifferent attitude made him question whether or not everything had been a momentary distortion, some rift in reality. He was filled with trepidation at the thought of pretending like none of it had happened. He didn't want to ignore it, he wanted to move further and explore what it was between them.

While Seifer had preoccupied imaging what he would like to do to Squall's body, he had overlooked the likely possibility that it had been a freak occurrence that the commander would rather forget. Though he still felt drawn to his rival, there was no guarantee that his feelings were reciprocated. He wouldn't give up yet. "Squall," he spoke softly with hidden apprehension, "what are we now?"

Staring blankly across the shadowed room, Squall slowly turned his head back and gazed solemnly into green eyes. The question was a repeat of the one asked at dinner. Even when asking himself he couldn't find an answer. Rivals didn't kiss each other, and they most definitely didn't suck each other's cock. Friends didn't do that sort of thing either, but they couldn't possibly be lovers, so what were they?

Focus flickering, Squall's eyes ran over the muscular torso of his rival. As his desires stirred, there was no concluding that his attraction was fleeting. Part of him had hoped the burning flame would expend itself after flaring so brightly when they had pleasured each other.

Seifer watched as blue-grey eyes roved his body. There was no repulsion, which was a good sign. Adversely, the commander wasn't reaching out to draw him in for a kiss, which he had been hoping for. He saw confusion and uncertainty in the boy's clear eyes, not the lust he wanted. It occurred to him that the commander had not spent the night musing and sorting through recent events, so such confusion was expected. Deciding to enlighten his partner in crime, he spoke, "When we were still first year cadets, I beat up four seniors because they were going to put you in your place." The look on Squall's was priceless. Unbidden emotion changed from annoyance to confusion to anger and back to confusion.

The blond's words had taken a moment to set in. Squall hadn't exactly seen the relevance to the statement. Was it a confession or just Seifer being completely random? When he considered the implications behind it he became angry. "I could have handled it," he growled, as if it had all occurred moments ago.

Green eyes stared for a moment into the irate stormy eyes of the brunet. Though surprised at the reaction, he should have expected as much. With a soft chuckle he shook his head. "That wasn't the point. And besides, we were first years, you knew nothing of fighting and they were all twice your size."

Brows furrowed, Squall felt insulted, but before he could quip out his own remark in his defense, Seifer stopped him.

Taking an unusual approach of indirectness, Seifer was unable to contain himself, needing to express his views properly. "I had seen them watching you-"

"Seifer," Squall interrupted, not seeing the point and wanting to know why the blond was acting so weird all of a sudden. He was silenced when the ex-knight roughly kissed him without warning. Even if he didn't want to, he was helpless to the way all thoughts left his head. His body responded automatically, accepting the action. Weakened, his only complaint was that it ended too soon.

"They were watching you," Seifer continued smoothly. "Everyone seemed to always watch you. You were silent and proud and when you refused to make nice with them, they thought you needed to be put in your place." Blue-grey eyes seemed annoyed, but pout lips simply frowned in resignation to hear him out. "You should have known that you'd piss people off like that." He smirked as those bright eyes narrowed as if to tell him to make his point quickly. "I told them that the only person who could kick your ass was me. From then on your enemies became mine."

The sentiment behind the ex-knight's words was most unbecoming. Squall had no idea what that sentiment was, but it was still meaningful if only for the fact that he could tell the blond was trying to impress something of importance. "I'm not going to thank you for something I didn't ask you to do." Did Seifer think he was going to be grateful? He could have handled it himself. He might not have had much training back then, but he could have handled it.

Green eyes widened for a moment, before softening with amusement. Any woman Seifer had ever slept with would have considered his words to be a marriage proposal, but Leonhart only resented him for such protection. It was both infuriating and endearing. Cringing at his uncharacteristic display of seriousness, he braced himself for what he was about to say. The commander wouldn't understand it if he wasn't blunt, so he said, "I can't say that I ever wanted to fuck you like I do now, but I think there may have always been something."

"…" Squall opened his mouth to speak, thinking perhaps he would tell Seifer what an idiot he was being or just yell at him again for going behind his back to protect him all those years ago, but nothing came out. The blond had made a surprisingly valid point. It was far more likely that there had always been something dormant between them, rather than inexplicably feeling the desire to screw each other. The question better asked was what had he always felt for his rival and why hadn't he noticed it?

Even with Seifer looking down at him with questioning eyes, Squall didn't reply. He was thinking, trying to find another side to their age-old rivalry. He was not immune to the frustration of living a lie, but after being raised by a sorceress to fight sorceresses, secretly loving his rival wouldn't be the most surprising turn of events in his life. He didn't love Seifer, or even like the boisterous blond very much, but he obviously felt something. He currently lay naked beneath the equally naked older boy, and his first instinct upon seeing his domineering rival was to reach up and pull him closer. Obviously there was something he was missing.

When the commander closed those pretty grey-blue eyes without any inclination to responding, Seifer felt a sinking feeling of desolation in his chest. A lump formed in his throat, making it impossible to swallow properly while he continued to wait with bated breath for some response. If Leonhart didn't feel anything for him, then he had been a complete fool.

Unable to wait any longer, Seifer became bitter and resentful. He had been premature in his assumptions and exposed himself to rejection. Rolling off the brunet, he ignored the coldness that washed over him, even with the blanket drawn up. As he settled away from the slim and unmoving figure, he felt a surge of anger. Since when did one-night stands render him vulnerable?

Between his indecision to leave the bed and get dressed Seifer almost didn't hear Squall finally speak.

"When you left," Squall spoke softly, saying the words as soon as he thought them. "I thought you were gone for good." Worrying his lip, his words were forced, like when Matron used to make him apologize after fighting with Seifer. "It felt like when Ellone had left."

Seifer whipped his head around and looked at the brunet fiercely. To be compared to the boy's adopted sister in regards to level of attachment was more than he had expected.

Undeterred by the intense gaze of green eyes, Squall continued, "After a little while I realized that you weren't Ellone or like everybody else." Scoffing at his own thoughts, he moved to sit up. Propping himself up lazily, he leaned back with his arms, not bother to adjust the low riding blanket that threatened to slip from his waist entirely. "It wasn't like you had really left, but found yet another way to piss me off. I was so sure that it was just temporary, because the world couldn't spin if we weren't together to fight anymore."

An uncertain grin came to Seifer's face. Squally-boy was right. Their rivalry was so natural and fitting, a future where they couldn't be near each other to fight was no future at all.

"I felt that way until news of your execution reached us." Squall smiled knowingly as Seifer's grin fell and his eyes looked at him with shock. "We all thought you were dead," he admitted. Quietly, he added, "It was worse than Ellone." The glare Squall was a bit misleading. "You'll always be a bastard for making me feel like that. I was never scared, not even when I thought I was alone without Sis, but when I thought you would become nothing more than a memory, I was scared that one of the guardian forces would take that away too."

Seifer didn't know how to respond. He didn't want to get his hopes up, but his heart was strumming madly.

"I don't know what we are now. None of it makes any sense, but since when has anything we've done made sense?" Squall looked at the knight and shrugged noncommittally. He just didn't care anymore. If he didn't already understand, then he probably never would. Leaning over, he stretched to meet Seifer's lips and placed a small kiss on them before sitting back again. "Friends with benefits, I suppose."

Groaning with frustration Seifer raked a hand through his hair before giving in. Longingly, he looked back at the brunet. The younger fighter was tantalizingly reposed with a smooth lean body, which he knew molded perfectly against his own. "We've never been friends, but I could settle for the benefits."

Chuckling Squall quipped back, "Does that mean I don't have to get you anything for your birthday?"

"No, I've already made a deal about my present this year," the knight said, thinking back on his cocky comment to the cowboy. "It just means that we don't have to make nice in order to have fun."

"Should I feel insulted that you just want me for my body?" Squall said, quirking a brow.

"Probably." Seifer decided they had done enough talking, which was highly unusual considering Squall hardly ever talked. Reaching out, pulled the commander close, blanket left behind.

As Seifer kissed the younger man, he decided that it was quite possible to become addicted to such a taste. If he had his wicked way, the overworked commander would never leave the bed again. It would be a miracle if they ever made it back to garden.

Both boys shared a bitter contempt when it felt like the world was conspiring against their being together. A bright light flashed through the window and a loud explosion sounded in the distance. Breaking apart with much reluctance, Squall and Seifer were nearly dressed again when the dull shaking reached the building they resided in.

If Seifer had been an optimist he would have been thankful that the interruption hadn't occurred while he in the midst of pounding the commander raw. Sorely pessimistic, he was quite pissed that he hadn't even gotten further than a kiss before having to end it.

Squall was simply pissed that he had to bother at all, and could only hope the body count was zero and that garden didn't get dragged into anything.

The pair hastily left their room after grabbing their respective gunblades.

TBC… Sweet, but not enough to cause a cavity…