Was this a dream, or was this a nightmare?
The face that hovered in his mind's eye was one he saw every day, almost identical to the one he loved and lost. He saw her standing, in the middle of his garden, surrounded by the cherry trees, which were in full bloom. The pink petals swirled around her slight frame, making her seem more delicate and fragile than she really was. In his dream, she stood with her back to him. When he called her name, and she turned, however, even though the face was frighteningly similar to his lover's, this person was different. She was… Stronger, he decided, determined even. Yet, because of the face, he fell so deeply in love with her. How he longed to reach out and touch, imagine that she was his lover, that he had her once again.
And then she was covered by cherry blossoms – no, those were the blades of his Senbonzakura! – and his dream was torn to shreds.
Kuchiki Byakuya's eyes flew open. His breathing was heavy, and his forehead was bathed in sweat. The sixth division taichou sat up, a hand placed over his thumping heart. He reached up and pushed his damp fringe out of his eyes, mopping up his perspiration with his sleeve.
Was it a dream, or was it a nightmare?
Willing his wildly pounding heart to calm down, Byakuya remembered the person sleeping at his side, and glanced over quickly in her direction. His eyes made out the sleeping figure on the futon on his right, and he sighed, relieved that he did not wake her. Gently, he reached over and lit a candle with his kidoh.
The warm glow of the candle illuminated her face. She was so beautiful, even in sleep. Hesitatingly, Byakuya let one hand stroke the soft skin of her cheek.
"Hisana," he whispered, and then checked himself. He was foolish – he fell for the face, and now, if word got out that he was sharing his bed with her, the reputation of the Kuchiki house would be destroyed. It pained him to think that he had made such a mistake, but what was done could not be undone. While it was nice to imagine that his late wife was back by his side, the truth remained that the young lady next to him was not really Hisana, but her sister, his adopted sister, Kuchiki Rukia.
"What have I done?" he questioned, burying his face in his hands. Regret washed over him, and he let out a long sigh. Next to him, Rukia stirred slightly. He glanced at her again. Although the girl was sleeping in his bed, all he had ever done was to kiss her goodnight. Hisana… What have I done? With another sigh, Kuchiki Byakuya blew out the candle, and settled into a restless sleep.
And in his dreams, the cherry blossoms fell.
For days on end, the same dream haunted Byakuya. He could not sleep for fear of it. He could not seek comfort in his fukutaichou's mischevious demeanor, for Abarai Renji had left for the real world to assist Kurosaki Ichigo and his companions. Who knew when he would return to the Court, to the sixth division?
Despite being troubled, Byakuya maintained his cold, emotionless image, but he also heard the whispers. Whispers that the Kuchiki siblings were growing close – too close. Byakuya, on his part, tried to keep the rumors from Rukia, to protect her from the hurtful words, and to keep her happy. As long as he could see her smile – Hisana's smile – he felt that he could carry on.
Byakuya walked from the meeting chamber back towards his taichou's quarters. The meeting had him drained, mentally and physically. Rukia would be waiting for him in his room; he could feel her reiatsu, even though he told her not to hang around the sixth division grounds so often.
His bedchamber was empty, so he followed the feel of her reiatsu, and found her in his garden at the back of his quarters. Byakuya was proud of his garden – countless cherry trees grew there, and at this time of year, they were in full bloom. The trees were covered by the tiny pink flowers, and the ground was carpeted in the fallen pink petals. It was also a representation of his shikai, Senbonzakura. The thought of Senbonzakura, the feel of the zanpaktou at his hip, was a grave, chilly reminder of his dream, his nightmare.
There she stood, as she had in his dream, quietly, motionless, with her back towards him. In that moment, Byakuya felt that he had slipped back into the dream, the nightmare he had grown so familiar with. The word that left his mouth next caused her to turn, but instead of seeing Rukia's laughing face, he was confusion, and fear.
"Byakuya… Nii-sama?" she asked, slowly, confused. Byakuya snapped out of his trance-like state, his breath catching in his chest. It couldn't be… Did he…? No…
"Rukia." Her name came out hoarsely, and he almost choked. "Rukia, Rukia." Tears were brimming in Rukia's eyes, and the pain of realization washed over Byakuya. What have I done? He stepped forward to wipe Rukia's tears away, but the girl stepped back from him, fearful.
"You… You called me Hisana." The first tears spilled down Rukia's cheeks, and Byakuya's heart pained at his mistake.
"No… No, Rukia!" He reached forward, but still she moved out of his reach, away from him.
She shook her head, perhaps in denial, perhaps in defiance. Her shoulders trembled as sobs wrecked her body. Her hands were clutched tightly at her sides. "I see it now... I'm just… Just a replacement for Hisana-nee-chan…" The ground at her feet was damp from her tears. "Byakuya… Nii-sama…" she whispered, before running past him and out of his quarters.
"Rukia!" Byakuya wanted to give chase, to apologize for his mistake, but it seemed as if his feet were rooted to the ground. The gravity of the mistake, his mistake, shook him, and he fell to his knees.
"Hisana!" he cried, helpless. "Rukia!"
What have I done?
The cherry blossoms continued to fall, swirling around Kuchuki Byakuya in a myriad of pink as a single tear fell.
"Rukia…"