A/N: This was supposed to be a Harlequin romance but I definitely don't know how to do that and it ended up feeling more like a Hallmark movie, which I'll take as a win! Shout out to Morgan (livieb6313) for the art/inspiration/coaxing that got this ball rolling and trinadeckers for the encouragement
P.S. this is putting me over 200k words written for EO this year (I can't believe I posted my first EO fic in April) so the next fic I post will be from those polls I did a few weeks ago ;)
October 21, 2022
Olivia finds herself standing at the makeshift bar, deciding on her next drink when she hears the voice behind her.
"Hello," Olivia turns towards the greeting, a smiling, handsome stranger that she immediately knows is a Stabler. It's the combination of his build, his jaw, the cocky way he holds himself. But more than anything, it's the striking blue of his eyes, so much like Elliot's.
Of course, she's also at El's 56th birthday party that Bernie and Kathleen had cooked up, and the place is packed with Stabler family members and cops. So her chances of identifying a Stabler are pretty good, given the crowd makeup.
She'd called Elliot the day before, on his actual birthday, and he'd grumbled about the party. So while she'd arrived somewhat on time, she'd spent the last hour with Fin and Phoebe and other assorted NYPD acquaintances, no Elliot in sight.
She tilts her head at the stranger, "Hi…You must be a Stabler."
He laughs. "Are we that easy to spot?"
"I've spent enough time with them to know them on sight." She jokes, one side of her mouth lifting in a smirk.
"Robert," He grins, offers his hand. She takes it and notes the strength of it, the way he gently cups her smaller hand in his. And that reminds her of Elliot too.
"Olivia."
And before she can say more his brows lift and something like delighted surprise crosses his face. "Oh, the famous Olivia." Her hand is still in his as he seems to take her in once more. "You know, I figured you had to be a cop, because everyone I don't know here is a cop. But I didn't realize you were Elliot's ex-partner."
She looks at him, slightly askance, as he finally releases her hand.
"He always spoke very highly of you." Robert assures as he sees her suspicious expression.
"He was a good partner." Liv nods picking up a beer. "And you're his…older brother?"
"Two years. And I never let him forget it." Robert replies with a grin and Olivia smiles fondly at the thought.
"All the time I spent with El's family and I never did meet any of his siblings. Took me about ten years to meet Bernie." Olivia looks across the room at where Bernie and Kathleen have roped Noah into kitchen duty.
"Well that's Elliot for you. Anyways, I only came back to New York earlier this year."
"Oh?" Olivia pulls her gaze away from her son as she takes a sip of beer.
"San Diego. Landed there when I got out of the Navy and just stayed, raised a family, the usual. But…I got divorced about a year ago and the kids are all grown up and it seemed like I should be here to help with Ma. Didn't seem fair Elliot was doing the heavy lifting with all of us scattered around the country."
Olivia's about to ask him how he's settling when there's a loud eruption of cheers and she glances towards the door and sees Elliot entering to a chorus of Happy Birthday greetings.
...
Elliot's looking for her the moment he walks in. Aside from his kids, there's really no one else here that he cares to see, or celebrate with. But there's hands being thrust towards him, pats on the back, so many offers of birthday wishes, and he forces himself to navigate them all. The whole time, he keeps looking past faces and over shoulders. He finally spots her after several long minutes, but the burst of happiness is quickly subsumed when he sees who she's talking to.
He angles towards them, in the back of the kitchen, noticing the body language, seeing the flirtatious smile on Rob's face. From where he stands, he can't see Liv's face and needs to know if she's flirting back.
Finally, he's just a few steps away and he hears her laugh and the jealousy spikes beneath his breastbone with familiarity. He pushes forward until he's just behind her.
"Not sure this is a good sign." Elliot breaks into their conversation.
"Oh, I'm just regaling Olivia here with some of your childhood stories." Rob grins at him as Olivia turns towards him.
"Happy Birthday." She smiles softly and whatever tension he felt at the thought of her talking to his brother, abates.
"Hey," He smiles back.
"You're late to your own party." She chides gently and he shrugs a little. This wasn't exactly his idea of a good time, but his mother and Kathleen seemed to really want it. That didn't mean he was going to be here a moment sooner than necessary.
"Kinda rude, Elliot." His eyes move reluctantly from Liv to Rob, finding a teasing look on his face. But Elliot didn't appreciate being teased by his brother. In fact, Elliot didn't appreciate a lot of things when it came to Robbie. It had been years since the brothers had really gotten along. They'd been close as children, but as they'd moved into adolescence and then young adulthood, things had changed. Constant competition egged on by their father, the playing of favorites by their mother, fighting over girls and sports and just about anything they could find an excuse to fight about. And once Rob had left for the Navy, it was easy to just fall out of touch. Not only simpler, but maybe even a relief to not have the constant needling and bickering with the sibling he was closest in age to, and for a time just closest to period.
Once they were both married, they'd exchange holiday cards, see each other on the odd occasion that Rob would return for a visit. They'd talk about their jobs or their families. But mostly, they ignored each other.
And so when Rob had announced he was moving back, intending to help out with Ma, Elliot couldn't fathom why he'd bother. The kids had started inviting him to family dinner night and sometimes he'd come home to find Rob making Ma a cup of tea. It was more than Elliot was interested in, preferring to keep his brother at arms length.
And now here was Rob, looking better than he should, flirting with Liv.
"So, Olivia…" Elliot sees the dismissal on Rob's face as his brother turns back to his former partner. "I'm sure you must have a lot of good stories about the birthday boy."
Liv glances back at him, "Oh…" She turns back to Rob. "I'm not sure they're all that interesting."
"Ya know, Robbie." Elliot jumps in. "Maybe you could go help Ma."
Rob lifts his eyebrows, looking amused and self-satisfied. Elliot's sure his brother knows he's gotten under his skin. But instead of picking a fight, Rob nods at Olivia and disappears into the crowd.
"So…sibling rivalry, or do you just dislike him that much?" Liv asks as soon as they're alone.
"Dislike is a strong word. We're just…not close." Elliot's eyes follow him for a moment before he turns back to Liv and finally takes her in. She looks phenomenal, but then she always does. Tonight she's wearing red, and he especially loves her in red. She's wearing her hair loose, in waves around her face, the dress fitted to the curves of her body.
"You look amazing." He tells her softly and she smiles, blushes just a little before she takes a pull of her beer bottle.
"You look like you'd rather be somewhere else." She says knowingly and he can't help but chuckle.
"Ayanna may have had to drag me here."
"Well your mother looks pretty happy you made it. The kids too."
Through the throng of bodies Elliot can see the candles being set on the cake. "I really hope they're not trying to put all of the candles on that thing. They're gonna burn the place down."
Liv laughs lightly.
Then Eli is coming over, "Time for cake." Elliot takes a deep breath before he regrettably leaves Liv's side.
"Yeah, Amanda." Liv listens as her detective provides some updates on the latest case and when she says goodnight, she turns to find Robert in front of her with two flutes of champagne.
"Thought you might like a drink?"
They're alone on the terrace, the air a little too cool for the party to have spilled outside. But Olivia's feeling flushed by the alcohol and the cool air is a relief from the heat of the party. She takes the offered glass and they settle on a bench, clinking a silent toast.
"I don't think Elliot was too happy to see us chatting." Rob muses.
"You two don't get along?" Liv probes gently.
Rob shrugs in return. "I don't know if I'd take it that far. I mean we used to fight a little as kids, but that's what brothers do. I think I've just been gone a long time and Elliot needs time to get used to my presence."
He seems to study her a moment, as if considering something. "Ma said the two of you weren't in touch while he was gone?"
"Uh…no." Olivia shifts, not sure how much to reveal.
"But things are…ok between you now?"
She smiles, glances back inside where Elliot's got an arm wrapped around Eli. "Things are…good now."
"But you two aren't…" Robert asks slowly.
She looks back at him, verifying what he's asking. "Uh." She scrunches her brow at him, the same way she used to in the old days every time someone would ask if there was something going on between her and her partner. Except now she doesn't have the old 'he's married' crutch to fall back on. "No, nothing like that."
He seems pleased with her answer though and leans a little closer. "Ya know…I was wondering if it was too soon to ask you out."
"Oh…" She looks at him, feeling her face warm as he smiles at her.
"Oh?" He lifts his eyebrows at her with a gentle smile. "That wasn't exactly a welcome sign." He shifts back slightly, giving her a little space.
She reaches out to stop him, her hand landing on his bicep which feels surprisingly hard beneath her palm. "No…I'm just…" She shakes her head with an uncomfortable laugh. She hadn't expected it, but he is handsome and kind and a little funny and she can't say she's disinterested. But it still doesn't feel quite right to say yes.
"You're a beautiful woman, Olivia. You can't be surprised I'm interested in you."
She smiles more fully at the compliment, but rubs her knuckle against her temple, at a loss to put the source of her discomfort into words.
"What? You think Elliot would mind?"
She furrows her brow at the question. Would Elliot mind? Why should he, really? As if it was any of his business. After all, they were friends. Nothing more. But still the question rings like a game-winning bell.
"It's not…" She still can't figure out what to say.
"Look, why not just let me take you out. Just see if there's something here. Harmless." He grins and she laughs at the twinkle in his eye.
She almost turns back to the windows. Almost looks back towards Elliot. But she stops herself and slowly nods. "Yeah…why not."
November 1, 2022
She swears she's not going to get a reaction out of Elliot. Not going to prove something to herself or to anyone else. Not going on this date with Robert for any reason other than the fact that she should explore what spending time with this handsome, available man could potentially become.
Still, there's a voice in the back of her mind laughing mockingly.
It's been a year and a half since Kathy's death. A year since Elliot's come back from undercover work. And things were better between them, after a lot of tough conversations and hours spent relearning each other. And yet, if she'd expected something to happen between them, it still hadn't. She could understand if he told her he needed time. But since he'd been back from being undercover, all of his confessions and anything that felt like an admission of feeling had abruptly stopped.
There had been moments, but they'd always fizzled, been interrupted, perhaps most of all, they both kept seeming to shy away. She thinks she is just as much to blame for it. Maybe too many years of putting too much stock in the relationship. Too many years of never getting the things she wanted. And it had just become too difficult to follow through on what could be with them. Too much pressure, too much history, just too much.
The two of them had settled into something like what they were before he left. Mutual trust and admiration. She'd spent time reconnecting with his adult kids and building a tentative trust with Eli. Noah had enjoyed getting to know all of them. There was plenty of joint family time, which was wonderful and confusing all at once.
And when it was her and Elliot alone, it was just like old times. Stories and jokes and shared memories. Something like flirtation from time to time. Certainly a lot of lingering looks and passing touches. But at the end of the day, a deep and reliable friendship, and nothing more.
Most days she could successfully tell herself it was more than enough. Most nights he still haunted her.
So Rob was a welcome distraction from all of the questions that had been circling her brain for the past year and a half. A much simpler possibility than everything that Elliot may or may not be, did or did not feel. They'd exchanged numbers the night of El's birthday party and the texting had been frequent and enjoyable and flirtatious. So when he'd asked her out again, she'd said yes. Figured there was no harm in seeing if there was something there.
She's just putting on her dangling earrings when the doorbell rings.
"Who is it?!" She hears Noah half scream through the door. She's standing near the kitchen when Robert makes his entrance, shaking Noah's hand.
Noah steps aside to let him pass, then peeks around his legs to look at Olivia.
"You look fantastic." Robert smiles at her and she can't help but smile back.
"Hey, Mom?" Noah has slid by Robert and runs towards where she's standing, reaching for her bag on the breakfast bar. She leans down, recognizing that look on Noah's face when he wants to say something private. "I thought you were going out with Elliot." He whispers.
She frowns at him. "What made you think that?" She whispers back.
Noah looks back to Robert then returns his gaze to her. He averts his eyes, shrugs. She glances up at Robert then looks back to her son. "We'll talk about it in the morning, kay?"
She gives him a hug, says goodnight and they're on their way.
By the time dessert arrives, Olivia has to admit that it's among the best first dates she's ever been on. He's kind and attentive and funnier than she'd expect. And she hasn't even thought about Elliot. Ok, maybe she has. But no more than normal. She certainly doesn't feel any guilt, she promises herself.
"I mean IT project management work is not glamorous." Rob chuckles. "But, I'm good with computers. And I figured out pretty quickly that I couldn't picture the rest of my career in the navy. Or, honestly, doing what you do. But, it seems like you love it."
Liv nods, savoring the cheesecake as she chases it down with the rest of her wine. "I do. Although I keep getting told it's time to retire, I just can't imagine it."
"As long as you love what you do, you should keep doing it." Robert says encouragingly. "Not everyone is so lucky. I mean, look at Elliot. He retired and then went back for more. Says a lot about what drives him."
The mention of his name brings a sour taste to her mouth and Olivia takes a mouthful of water and tries to ignore it.
"Sorry. Is it weird I brought him up?" Rob fiddles with his spoon. "I didn't mention this to him."
"Yeah, neither did I." Liv admits, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.
"We're just seeing if there's anything here, right?" Rob asks, tentatively.
Olivia nods, takes a breath.
"Can I just ask…what happened between you and Elliot? I mean the way he used to talk about you-"
"Nothing." Liv rushes to say. She exhales through pursed lips, forces herself to smile. "Nothing happened between us."
Rob stares at her for a moment. "Ok. But then he left and you didn't talk for ten years?"
Olivia doesn't really want to revisit this, still feels sore about the whole thing. But if she's going to date someone so wrapped up in Elliot's life, she figures she's going to have to be honest at some point.
"He didn't tell me he was going. And we didn't talk the entire time he was gone."
"And everything's just fine now?" Robert sounds slightly incredulous and she can't say she blames him.
"We had a lot of long talks about that, trust me. A lot. And about everything he missed because he chose to be out of touch. He's apologized about a hundred times. But I still know him better than I know anyone else. I still trust him."
Robert pauses, looking like he might not ask what he's thinking, but then he seems to decide. "And did he tell you why he left so suddenly?"
He had told her, but Olivia couldn't quite say she was satisfied by the answer. The same things he'd told her when he first returned. That he needed to walk away and he couldn't have done it if he'd spoken to her. That he didn't want to leave her, and seeing her would have made it harder. But she didn't understand that. Thinking of it had a tendency to raise more questions for her than answers. Questions about why exactly it was so hard to pick up the damn phone and have a conversation. But at this point she had decided she needed to accept that she may never understand it at all.
"I guess it would have just made it harder. After all the years we worked together." She can't quite look at Robert when she says this and there's a long silence after she does.
"Did you want something to happen with Elliot?" He asks it gently, but the question rocks her. She hadn't expected him to just come out and ask something so direct. Her eyes shoot up to his in alarm.
He lifts his hands in apology. "Sorry. That's-I shouldn't ask that. It's really not my business. What I should say is that I haven't had this much fun in a long time. And I'd really like to see you again. If you're interested?"
And there is something so refreshing, so endearing about the directness of this man. She smiles, pushes the thoughts of Elliot from her mind. "I'd really like that too."
Thanksgiving, 2022
"So, Uncle Rob. How are those dating apps treating ya?" Kathleen asks teasingly as the Stablers sit around the dining table, bellies full.
"Dating apps?" Elliot asks in surprise.
"Uncle Rob said he was ready to start dating, so I helped him download a few age-appropriate apps." Kathleen grins over at Elliot and then slides her gaze over to her uncle. "So?"
"Oh," Elliot watches Rob rub the back of his neck. "Actually, I met someone at a party. We've been out a few times. I think maybe there could be something there."
Elliot's eyes narrow on his brother. "What party?" There's a warning note in his voice.
Rob clears his throat and meets Elliot's eyes. "Just, a party."
"And does this someone have a name?" Elliot asks, recalling Robert so clearly flirting with Liv at his birthday a few weeks before.
Rob chuckles. "Ya know, I'll be sure to let you know all about her if things get serious."
"Well, this sounds promising." Bernie chirps up. "Now, Elliot. What about you?"
"Excuse me?" He scowls at his mother.
"Dad, I could hook you up with some dating apps too." Kathleen supplies. "Or…maybe there's someone you have in mind already?"
Elliot looks at his daughter, leaning towards him, eyes wide. His mother just as eagerly watching him. Even Dickie and Eli are exchanging a glance. And if Maureen and Elizabeth were here, he's sure they'd have something to say about it.
The only one at the table avoiding Elliot's gaze, is his brother. And if Elliot wasn't suspicious before, he sure as hell is now.
"Well, Dad?" Kathleen prompts.
"Ya know, I think I'm ready for some pie." Elliot says, leaving the table before anyone can make any further suggestions about his dating life.
December 4, 2022
Elliot has already changed his shirt twice. He pulls out another shirt from the drawer, staring at it in his hand before examining the one he's wearing, yet again, in the mirror.
"Dad?" Kathleen sticks her head through his open door and sighs. "What are you doing? Did you go get the flour?"
"Yeah, the bag's by the back door. Does this shirt look ok?" He watches as Kathleen knowingly smiles.
"The blue t shirt brings out your eyes." She says, pointing to the one in his hands before spinning on her heel and leaving.
He changes one last time and is just walking out of his bedroom when the doorbell rings.
After the conversation at Thanksgiving he decided he needed to spend some time with Liv and figure out what was happening. He's been waiting for the right time to make a move with her. But somehow he's finding it impossible to figure out. And now a year has gone by where they've had plenty of conversations and dinners and family nights and he has no excuses for not having made a move. He knows it's up to him. After all, he was the one who was married for so long. He's the one who left so abruptly, who stayed out of touch, more than once. So he's the one who has to make his intentions known, to let her know he's ready to make a real go of it with her. But he's more scared than he'd like to admit. Afraid maybe she doesn't feel the same or that he'll screw it up and lose her all over again.
The vague and shifty conversation with his brother at Thanksgiving dinner is the wake up call he needs. Now he knows that the window for him to create that alternate universe he always dreamed of may be closing. Whatever may or may not be happening between Liv and Rob is making him nervous enough that he knows he can't wait any longer.
He pulls on a gray hoodie as he goes to open the door and can't help the smile taking over his face when he sees Liv.
"Thanks for having us," Liv says as he takes her coat. Her dark jeans cling to her thighs, the cream sweater looks invitingly soft, and though he aches to touch her he stops himself as he always does. "Noah loves to bake, so this is pretty perfect for him."
Noah has already followed Kathleen into the kitchen as Elliot and Liv slowly fall into step.
"Well, I was just thinking I haven't gotten to see much of you this past month. A baking party seemed like a good reason to have you over. Work been busy?" He watches her shrug a little.
"When isn't it?" She replies softly.
Kathleen and Noah are already working in tangent when he and Liv reach the kitchen. "I think these two have the baking covered," He says to her quietly. "I thought maybe you and I can hang out by the fire with some drinks." He points outside where the firepit is already going.
Liv laughs, "Please. I do not love baking."
He pours two hot buttered rums from the pot on the stove and leads her outside and they settle on a bench in front of the fire. He throws a blanket over their laps, scooting close enough that his thigh brushes against hers.
"So, what's been keeping you so busy lately?" He watches her wrap her hands around the mug and take a slow sip.
"This is really good, El." She says before she takes another.
He waits and watches her until she turns towards him.
"What?" She asks, still sipping at her mug.
"Are you avoiding my question?" He teases.
"No," She scoffs. "It's just the usual stuff. Work. Noah has a lot of rehearsals for the Nutcracker. Actually, this was really good timing for today. Sunday is the only day he has off."
Elliot decides not to push her just yet, though he feels sure she's not saying something. "He's pretty serious about the dance stuff, huh?"
"Yeah, he really loves it." He watches the way she softens as she talks about her son and he's so grateful that it worked out for her. That she finally has the child she had longed for.
"So why is Kathleen baking 300 cookies?" Olivia's watching the work happening in the kitchen through the glass doors.
"She does a holiday party every year. Or a cookie party, really. Invites over a bunch of friends. She said my kitchen is better than the place she just moved into, so she said she had to do the baking here." Liv laughs and he smiles. "Anyways, seemed like a good excuse to see you and Noah." He turns back to Liv, nudging her with his arm.
"Well, you can feel free to invite me over for the firepit and a hot buttered rum anytime." She teases, taking another sip of her drink, eyes glittering over the rim of her cup.
...
"Hey Kathleen?" Noah's standing at the kitchen island, measuring sugar as he looks out the window and watches his mother laugh.
"Yeah?" Kathleen sounds distracted as she searches through the assortment of spices in the cabinet, hoping the cinnamon hasn't disappeared.
"Your dad likes my mom, right? Like, likes likes?"
Kathleen stops her search and turns towards Noah, following his gaze out to her father and Olivia, looking cozy and adorable together. She sighs, turns back to the cabinet and spots the cinnamon. She grabs it and returns to the island, standing next to Noah. "Yeah. I'm pretty sure he does." She finally responds.
"I think my mom likes him too. I mean like that." Noah blushes and cringes a little. "I don't get it. Why is my mom-" He stops himself, remembering how his mother had asked him not to mention her dates with Uncle Rob to anyone else. Although he didn't really feel like she'd given him any sort of answer on why she was dating Uncle Rob and not Uncle Elliot. "Why aren't they dating?" He amends with a nod towards the terrace.
"I don't get it either, Noah." Kathleen says resigned.
"Maybe we could…help them?" Noah says slowly.
They turn towards each other, devious smiles gracing their faces.
"What did you have in mind?"
...
They're still giggling when they come through the door a few hours later. She feels warm and bubbly and it's only partially the two hot buttered rums she allowed herself. The rest of it is definitely Elliot, though she'd never tell him that. It's getting dark out, though it's not late yet. And being nestled close to him as the sky went from bright to deep blue, had made it all too easy to imagine what it would be like to do this all the time. To think about snuggling in close and resting her cheek on his chest and pulling his arm around her. The scent of his cologne and the smokiness from the fire and the warmth in her chest from the rum were stirring feelings in her that she needed to fight. And all those thoughts made it clear she needed to get some space. Anyways, the smell of baked cookies was too inviting to ignore.
They're closing the door behind them, still lingering next to the wall of windows as Elliot finishes his story about his old partner and his stakeout habits, one she's heard at least two dozen times, but always leaves her holding her aching belly in laughter.
Despite her amusement, she's aware of Noah's eyes fixed on them, the way he's practically vibrating, looking eager even out of the corner of her eye. She glances over, "What's up, bud?"
He giggles and then he blushes, points a finger up above her. "That means you have to kiss!" He yells at them and Olivia glances up, tries to laugh it off. She's about to take a step back when Elliot's hand closes around her elbow.
She looks up at him in surprise. "Rules are rules," he says softly. Her heart feels like it's been replaced with a ticking bomb. They don't do this, right? They've spent the past year very much not doing this, when there was no longer any reason to hold back if they wanted each other. And doing this now as if it's some sort of game, burns a hole in her chest.
But there's also a look in his eyes, soft yet molten. His mouth is quirked in a seductive smile. She feels wobbly under that gaze, unable to catch her breath.
She just wants to get it over with, before she feels too much. Liv bites the bullet, reaches up and pecks him on the cheek.
"Booooo," Noah trills. "A real kiss!"
Kathleen is somewhere behind him, giggling herself. But Olivia is looking up at Elliot who still hasn't let go of her arm.
"A real kiss." He says softly. "Those are the rules."
And before she can think about stopping him, he leans in and his lips brush hers, then settle, grasping her bottom lip just enough that she can't pretend this is chaste. Still, it's just barely more than the modest kiss she'd given him. And yet her body is responding the way it always does in his vicinity; her belly clenching, heat pooling between her thighs. And then he pulls back. And she blinks up at him as Noah cheers and Kathleen high fives him.
"I-we-...it's time to go." She says, loud enough that everyone hears and then she pulls back and Elliot's hand releases her.
"But it's so early." Noah protests.
Olivia takes a breath and squares her shoulders, turning to her son. "And it's a school night. Go grab our coats."
He pouts, but turns to get their things. Kathleen takes the hint too and busies herself with moving cookies into containers.
"I'm sorry-" Elliot starts before Liv cuts him off.
"No. It's nothing." She drops her voice to a whisper. "I just don't want him getting the wrong idea."
"And what's the wrong idea?" He sounds hurt and she doesn't really know what to say to him. Because was she getting the wrong idea? Was kissing her just no big deal to him? Was she the only one making it something more?
She just shakes her head and moves over to Kathleen. "Did you make good progress?"
"Oh, yeah." Kathleen smiles a little uncomfortably. "Noah was a big help." She holds a container out to Liv. "For you two to enjoy."
Noah returns with the coats and Liv says a hasty goodnight before she ushers Noah out the door.
...
"Dad, I'm sorry." Kathleen blurts as soon as the door shuts behind them. "We just thought-" But Elliot brushes it away and smiles.
"I guess she's not that interested." He feigns nonchalance.
"I think you're wrong. Noah thinks you're wrong." Kathleen insists. "I just want you to be happy. Doesn't Olivia make you happy?"
He smiles at his daughter. "I'm plenty happy, Kathleen. You don't have to worry about me." He turns towards his bedroom, already unzipping the hoodie. He calls over his shoulder to Kathleen, "I'm gonna take a nap before dinner. I'll see you in a bit."
He closes the bedroom door behind him, scrubs a hand down his face. It was exactly what he'd feared, wasn't it? That Liv didn't feel what he felt. That she didn't want him or didn't trust him. Or that he'd maybe just squandered his chance.
He thinks about giving up, holding onto what they have so he doesn't lose her entirely. But the feel of her next to him on the bench for those few hours is lingering. The way she'd smiled, how much he'd wanted to touch her. And then that kiss, however brief, had set him aflame. It was barely scratching the surface and he wanted more, wanted all of her.
He couldn't give up just yet. He has to try, really try. Has to find a way to overcome his fears when he wasn't high or out of his mind. Has to tell her how he feels, no matter how much it frightens him.
...
"Are you mad?" Noah's voice breaks into her stream of thoughts as they drive home. Of all the ways she'd thought their first kiss could happen, under mistletoe, being goaded by her son, wasn't one of them. There's something truly mortifying about how it finally happened after two decades of waiting. It only seems to reinforce that even if Elliot flirted, it didn't mean he wanted anything else. That they really were the best of friends, and nothing more. That if it took some ridiculous tradition to make it happen, maybe it shouldn't happen. She'd thought if he ever really touched her, it would mean everything, instead of nothing at all.
"Mad?" Olivia glances over at her son.
"That we hung the mistletoe?"
Liv presses her hands into the steering wheel, attempting to steady the tremble in her fingers. "I'm not mad, Noah. I'm just…not sure why you did it?"
He sighs, exaggeratedly. "Because you guys like each other." He says as if it should be obvious. "We just thought you needed some help." He finishes, quietly.
"So you and Kathleen cooked that up?" It would be funny if it wasn't so damn awkward. If it didn't make her feel so unwanted.
Noah stays silent.
"You know Elliot and I are really good friends. Sometimes that's all it is." But she's not sure if she's telling her son the truth or trying to convince herself of something. "And I'm dating Rob and I like him." Again she wonders how much she means it. Because under different circumstances, Rob was exactly what she was looking for. And yet she couldn't help but acknowledge that the brief brush of Elliot's lips was still making her whole body feel so alive.
"I dunno. I don't think you like Uncle Elliot like a friend. I mean I've never seen you look at Uncle Sonny or Uncle Fin like that." Noah emphasizes the last word.
Sometimes her son was far too insightful. "Well, Noah. You're gonna have to trust me on this one. Elliot and I are just friends." Liv deflects. "Now. What should we do for dinner?"
December 9, 2022
He knocks on her door and grins as she glances up at him and smiles. It's been a few days since the mistletoe incident, and they haven't been in touch. He wasn't sure if she would kick him out of her office, so her smiling face is a relief.
"This is a surprise." She says as she shuts her laptop.
She's wearing something v-necked in green and he tries not to let his eyes linger on the cleavage she's displaying. It's not like her to dress this way for work and when she stands he sees she's clearly dressed for a night out.
"I had a case I wanted to talk to you about. Maybe grab some dinner. But, it looks like you have other plans." He's sure his face is giving away his appreciation of her dress. But then he remembers the conversation at Thanksgiving and wonders what her plans are.
Her cheeks look a little pink when he lifts his eyes to her face and she seems to fumble for a response when Fin walks in and beats her to it.
"Oh, she has a date." He drops a file on her desk and shucks Elliot's shoulder.
Elliot glances at Fin, "With who?"
Elliot watches Fin look at Olivia, a glint of mischief in his eye.
"Thank you, Fin." Olivia says in that Captain's voice that she has down pat and Fin chuckles in response, shrugs at Elliot helplessly and leaves her office.
"With who?" Elliot repeats.
Olivia takes a breath, looks at him with some amount of exasperation. "We can talk about the case tomorrow after I drop Noah off at dance."
She's circling the desk now, pulling on her coat, grabbing her phone and bag.
"So you're not going to tell me."
She laughs, shakes her head and looks skyward. And then she seems to settle on something because she looks back at him, a challenging look in her eye. "Why do you care?"
He coughs, uncomfortable. "I…can care…We're friends."
She scoffs and heads for her office door and he trails after her as she shoots final instructions to her squad still on duty.
He stops her before they reach the elevator. "You can tell me, ya know. I mean…we share things…"
She gives him a look with a raised eyebrow and a smirk that makes him wish he hadn't pressed. He follows her into the empty elevator, shifting on his feet.
"Is that why you got upset when I kissed you?" He asks, voice low, staring at the closing elevator doors.
He hears her breath catch in her throat, but when he turns towards her, she's fixed her gaze forward.
As they reach the ground floor and the doors slowly slide open, she speaks, "I'll give you a call tomorrow about the case." And then she races out of the elevator before he can stop her.
December 14, 2022
He's finally finagled some alone time with her, under the pretense of working a case. Well, not pretense, because they really do have a case; child trafficking driven by the Banarro family. Organized Crime is working it alongside SVU and Liv had come by to check in with Bell. Elliot had somehow managed to convince her to join him in a back room, poring over shipping logs like the good old days, Chinese food turning cold.
"Jet's like this genius hacker and we're here looking at hard copies of logs? This isn't the 90s anymore, El." She's fiddling with her chopsticks as she looks at him over her glasses.
Maldonado was apparently full of holiday cheer, because he hadn't just strung lights and tinsel all across the main room, but had even decorated this dingy back room, usually reserved for interrogations. Looking over at Liv, lights twinkling in her dark hair, files spread in front of her, jacket thrown off and sleeves rolled up, he has to admit the ambiance added a nice touch to the nostalgia.
He hasn't really gotten much done since she stopped by, staring at her at least half of the time instead. And now, with her sitting across from him, looking like everything he wants for Christmas, he can barely even focus enough to answer her question. She cocks an eyebrow at him and he clears his throat, tries to remember what she just said.
"Ah…she said something about a scanner she says I broke and digitization and since it's my fault it's my problem."
Liv's barely holding in her laughter and as long as she looks so happy, he has no problem with it being at his expense. He grins back at her and watches her laughter subside, her gaze turn soft. And now they're just staring at each other. Just holding their gazes and lingering too long and to him this may be the closest thing to heaven on earth.
She presses her lips together and looks away. And then the quiet doesn't seem quite as comfortable as before.
"So…how was your date the other night?"
Liv glances up and he'd swear he sees guilt in her eyes. But she glances away quickly. "It was good."
"Okay," Elliot replies, tone measured. "You never did tell me who it is."
"No, I didn't." She confirms.
There's something in the way she says this that just makes him so desperate to know. He drops his pen on the table, leans back in his chair, spreads his legs, crosses his arms. She looks up at the movement, eyes narrowing.
"This been going on long?"
Liv slowly puts down her chopsticks, sits up a little in her seat. He watches her tilt her head as she studies him.
"Couple weeks," She gives a small toss of her head, like it's nothing.
"You know, Olivia," He stands, unbuttons his sleeves and carefully folds them up as he rounds the table. He leans casually on the edge of the table, just next to her, crosses his arms over his chest again, flexes his forearms. He watches her gaze move to his bared arms. "I know you're hiding something."
"Oh?" She asks, leaning back in the chair, eyes dragging upwards to meet his gaze.
He shifts position again, standing, leaning forward, bracing one hand on the table, the other on the back of her chair. He's just a few inches from her now and her eyes linger on his mouth when he speaks, "Where'd you meet this guy?"
For a second he thinks she'll give him what he's looking for. But then her gaze snaps to his, "What are you doing?" She leans back a notch, eyes all heat and condescension. "Are you interrogating me?"
The tension breaks him in that moment. He's too close to her now, too tempted. He cups his hand behind her head and brings her mouth to meet his.
...
This time when he kisses her she actually does become breathless. It's not the suddenness of the kiss, but the fact that her lungs have ceased functioning from the full on shock of the physical contact of his lips on hers.
It's different than the gentle kiss under the mistletoe. This is all fire and want and she's burning up from the inside with the way he's left caution to the wind.
It's only a moment. Only a long, lingering meeting of lips and lips alone. But the demand in it, the refusal to be denied, stirs everything in her that she's repressed for so long. And god, she wants more. She wants to feel him do that again. Wants to slide her tongue into his mouth. Wants to see where his hands will go. What it will feel like to undress him.
He pulls back and when she blinks her eyes open he must read her thoughts. Because he hauls her out of the chair, the scraping of the legs against concrete barely registering as he pushes her up against the nearest wall. And this time when his mouth covers hers, his tongue slides between her parted lips.
His thigh has wedged between her legs, his chest presses to hers and she can't stop herself from moaning when he tilts her head back and deepens the kiss.
He breaks the kiss as suddenly as he started it, his body still holding hers against the wall as he looks into her eyes.
"Who's the guy, Liv?"
"What?" It's like whiplash the way he's shifted directions.
"Just tell me."
"Ugh," She pushes him off of her, frustrated, scowling. Once more feeling like he's playing some sort of game with her. "Is that what this is about?!" She brushes past him, reaching for her jacket.
"It's a simple question, Liv. I want you. I just need-"
"Why?!" She demands, cutting him off. "Why do you suddenly want me? Because there's someone else? What if there's no one else? You still gonna want me then?"
He furrows his brow at her. "What are you talking about?!"
"This is your MO, Elliot. Always there to get in the way. You don't want me, but no one else can have me either, right?"
He looks at her, flabbergasted.
"It's been a year, Elliot. There's been plenty of time to tell me what you actually want from me. But it's the one thing we've never talked about. Last year, when you were reeling, you had plenty to say. But ever since then? Nothing. So you know what I think? Our entire relationship you've compartmentalized me in your life and you can't figure out how to actually let me in."
He sputters. "I can't figure out how to let you in? You're the one who keeps pulling away. I kissed you the other day and you ran! Just like you're running now."
"You don't get to take credit for doing something under the pretense of holiday tradition with my nine year old egging you on." Liv smirks harshly. "When it really comes down to it, Elliot, what do you actually want from me?"
She watches him hesitate and it's too much. How dare he accuse her of holding back when he can't answer a simple question? She shakes her head, throws her jacket on, decides she needs to rip off the bandaid. "You want to know who I'm seeing? It's Robert, your brother."
Elliot scoffs, but nods, seeming unsurprised. "That's what I thought."
For a second she wants to ask how he knew, challenge again if that's why he's doing this now. But she figures she won't get any more answers out of him. She rolls her eyes, takes a breath. "Goodnight, Elliot." She leaves before she starts yelling again.
December 20, 2022
"Noah and I got our tree here." Olivia tells Robert as she leads him into the lot. They're just entering the repurposed parking lot, where there's still rows upon rows of trees in every size and shape. In the dark, with the Christmas lights strung and the cold frosting their breath, everything looks picturesque.
"They seem like they have a good selection. I'm thinking something on the smaller side." He responds, gently squeezing her gloved hand in his. She'd forgotten how nice it was to date, flirt, have a man hold her hand. She brushes into him a little and he takes the encouragement, pulls their joined hands behind her back so he can pull her body into his as they slowly walk together.
They turn down a row, but the trees are a little too large and Rob spots a guy in an apron and jogs over to ask for help.
"Merry Christmas." Olivia hears that oh so familiar voice behind her. She turns, surprised pleasure mixing with the urgent desire to flee. But the confused tumble of emotions is arrested by the sight of Elliot in a red Santa hat. Instead, Liv bursts out laughing.
They've only seen each other at work since that disastrous fight. She ignored his calls and texts, told him she couldn't talk when he'd tried twice to corner her at the office. But all the tension of those interactions are draining away now.
He grins at her. "What? Don't you like it?"
She has to take a moment to recover, but she's still smiling when she asks, "What are you doing here?"
"Kathleen insisted we get the tree today. Stroke of good luck running into you."
The flirtatious note in his voice could easily be her imagination, she tells herself.
"And the hat?" Olivia raises her eyebrows skeptically.
"I'm very festive."
"Oh, yes. Mr Clause himself."
He grins, cheekily. "What about you? Thought you and Noah already had your tree? You were the one that told me about this lot."
Olivia opens her mouth but Elliot's got that look on his face again. The one that sends a shiver down her spine, makes her want to bite her lip. It's all heat and promise and desire and whatever cold she was feeling on this December evening, standing on two inches of snow, is completely forgotten.
How does he manage to do this to her when she's so certain he doesn't want her?
He steps closer, draws the lapels of her jacket up, as if to shield her from the icy air. "You look a little cold." He says, voice dropped and husky.
She leans into him, just a little. Her eyes move to his mouth and her lips part. But then there's the sound of footsteps nearby and Elliot steps back and Rob is suddenly there, just behind her elbow. "Hey, El." She can't quite figure out Robert's tone, but she doesn't want to turn and find out.
"Robbie." Elliot greets a cooly.
Rob steps a bit closer and she feels his hand on her lower back and she knows Elliot notices too. She tries not to shy away from any of it. They were all adults, after all. And Elliot knew. And there was no reason why she shouldn't be spending time with this kind, handsome, funny man who just happens to be her ex-partners brother. It didn't matter what happened a few days ago with Elliot when he's been giving her no indication of real interest for the past year. Why should she believe he suddenly really wanted her? That it wasn't some reaction to someone else coming between them? A reaction to that person being his brother.
She thinks all of this, but can't shake the feeling of awkwardness as the three of them exchange glances.
"Nice hat." Rob says in that teasing way of his, but it doesn't seem to land well with Elliot. She watches as El crosses his arms over his chest and nods.
"Hey Dad," Kathleen's voice trails off as she closes in on the group. Olivia lets her eyes slowly close because this many Stablers at once is definitely too much right now. "Uncle Robbie. Olivia." Kathleen's eyes dart between the three. "This is a…nice surprise."
"Kathleen," Rob greets her with a smile. "Liv mentioned this tree lot and I thought it might be nice to have a tree."
Olivia doesn't need to look at Elliot to feel him bristling. She just can't decide if it's the use of her nickname or the fact that they're all here together to begin with.
"Ah," Kathleen says, as if that explanation hasn't helped her at all but she doesn't think she really wants to know the details right this second anyways.
"Olivia, maybe you could help me decide on the ornaments? Dad's hopeless."
Liv looks at Elliot and sighs, "Sure, Kathleen." Still not actually sure she should leave Elliot and Robert alone. But she walks away with Kathleen because frankly, she needs the break.
"So…you and Uncle Robbie?" Kathleen asks as soon as they're out of earshot.
Liv laughs, tosses her head a bit. "It's just been a few dates."
Kathleen's eyes are on her, she can feel them boring a hole. "I did kinda wonder. He said something at Thanksgiving…"
And Liv guesses that's how Elliot suspected them.
"Did um…Dad know?" Kathleen asks tentatively as she shifts around boxes of ornaments and doesn't quite look at Olivia.
"Yeah, he did." She tries to sound nonchalant but she's sure it isn't working at all.
Kathleen nods slowly. "I know it's none of my business. I just thought things were, ya know, headed in a certain direction. With Dad."
Olivia gives a small laugh and tries to brush it off and Kathleen seems to take the hint. She turns towards Liv, holds up two boxes of ornaments. "Which one?" Her voice successfully feigning some brightness and an exit for the conversation.
"So…I guess you know." Rob says tentatively.
Elliot shrugs. "Liv told me a few days ago. Didn't she mention it to you?"
Rob smiles at him. "Look man, I know you two have…history-"
"Excuse me?" Elliot cuts him off angrily.
Rob holds his hands up. "I'm not insinuating anything. I just know you had a lot of years together. And…I'm not trying to assume how you feel. But if you want me to back off…"
"Why? You think that's the only way I can win here?"
Rob exhales. "El, come on. I'm not saying anything of the sort. I'm just telling you I'm not trying to get in your way. But look. I haven't done anything wrong here. You've had all the time in the world and she's still a single, gorgeous woman."
"Don't worry about it, Robbie," Elliot scowls at his brother.
"God, you're infuriating." Rob mutters harshly and Elliot watches him turn away for a moment, exhaling a long cloud of steam into the cold air.
Rob scuffs his boot into the snow as he turns back to face Elliot. "I know you don't believe me. But I want us to have a real relationship. If this thing with Olivia is going to get in the way of that…you're my brother. I want to do right by you. But I also think I can make her happy. So if you're just going to do nothing but waste her time…do both of you a favor and find a different way forward."
"Well, it doesn't look like anybody's bleeding or bruised." Kathleen pipes up as she returns with Olivia.
Elliot watches Rob turn towards Liv and smile, something warm and kind and loving and his stomach twists a bit at the sight. But far worse is the tender smile Liv offers him in return before she even glances Elliot's way.
"I think I spotted a tree over there," Rob shucks a thumb over his shoulder. "I'm gonna get it wrapped up to go."
Liv nods and Elliot sees him toss another look his way before his older brother saunters off.
Kathleen pauses between Liv and her father and then makes a decision. "I'm gonna check out too. Be back soon…"
And then they're alone again, standing between two rows of evergreens. There's Christmas carols floating in the air. The lights are twinkling. Everything about the moment could be perfect. Except Elliot knows it's all slipping through his fingers.
Elliot looks at Liv for a long moment but then she lifts a gloved hand. "Look, El-"
"Wait," He cuts her off. "You're probably about to say something absolutely fair and true about how I'm an ass, but let me save you the trouble because I'm aware. This time. I just…" He pushes his hands together and then moves towards her. "If this is what you want, Liv, I won't get in your way. I really want you to be happy. I just…" He scrunches his brow before his lips lift in the semblance of a smile. "I just thought it would be me. That it would be us."
Olivia exhales, wide eyed as she stares up at him.
"I always thought if we had a chance…But if I'm too late or if you don't want me, that's ok. I understand. I've always known you deserved better. I'm not quite sure Robbie is better," He starts with mild anger, but shakes his head clear and refocuses. "But he's a good guy. I do know that. And if you want him…that-that's good." He nods.
He steps just a little closer. His thumb brushes her cheek and then his fingers are sliding under the fall of her hair and he's there, just a breath away from her. He can hear the way her breathing becomes shallow, sees how her pupils are wide and deep. "I'm sorry I waited so long. I'm sorry I made you doubt me. I'm sorry I didn't just tell you how I feel when you asked. I know you think I'm having some reaction to you and Rob. But I'm not. I just think you should know how much I want you. How much I love you. How much I want to be the one who makes you happy." And then he closes the rest of the distance and his lips press hers.
...
She didn't realize how much she'd been craving his kiss until his lips were finding hers again.
She couldn't acknowledge how much she wanted him until the moment he was kissing her once more. He pulls her bottom lip into his mouth before releasing it and letting his tongue taste the inside of her lip and brush past.
It's enough to make her forget her concerns, all the ways she still doesn't quite trust him as much as she claims to. Isn't quite ready and able to give herself over to him.
He steps back and for a moment she's ready to follow him. Ready to push her mouth against his and wrap her hands around his sturdy back and take him home because it won't be enough. He's giving her that look again. The one that's making her knees wobbly.
But she thinks of that fight, of the last year of uncertainty, of the ten years of disappearance and the 13 years of loneliness before it, and she forces herself to come to her senses. She wasn't going to do this with him, she'd sworn to herself. Not when she had a good guy who wasn't afraid to forge a path with her, who didn't have two decades of baggage and history to contend with.
She was so tired of feeling insecure and unsure of Elliot. She just wanted the simplicity and directness that Rob seemed so happy to give her.
And Elliot must see the shift in her because he looks sad, suddenly. A little lost and hopeless. But he gives her a gentle nod of acceptance and he walks away.
She's not sure how long she stands there, between the tall trees, alone, before Rob finds her again.
"There you are. Wanna come over? We can string some lights." He smiles at her and she forces herself to smile back. To keep smiling as they strap the tree to a cab roof and leave the lot together.
It feels good to be wrapped up in him, his arms strong around her. She feels sexy and loose. And that's how she should feel. Not twisting herself around with twenty year old questions. This was good. This was healthy. Forward momentum and all that.
Rob's chest under her fingers feels sturdy, strong. She grips onto him, slides her hands up to his shoulders. For a moment Elliot's sad face drifts into her mind. She shoves that aside, hard. Definitely not the time to think of Elliot.
Rob bites softly as her bottom lip, smooths it with his tongue. His hands glide from her waist up her back and he leans they're joined bodies back on his couch.
Robert's lips are leaving hers now, trailing down her chin, moving over the column of her neck. She moans when he finds that spot behind her ear. And then he reaches the crux of her neck and she sighs, "El."
His hands still on her a moment before she registers what she's said. He pulls back and looks at her, the question in his eyes. But she can feel her startled expression and watches him nod, laugh softly as he pulls away, sits up.
"Well, that's what you want to hear. Your brother's name." He rubs his hand down his face.
"Sorry," She covers her face with both her hands, forces herself to drop them and look at him.
Liv sits up and shakes her head. "I didn't mean…I just…" She purses her lips and blows, finding it impossible to explain it away.
"No. No. I should have known." He laughs again, gently. "Actually, I did know. I just chose to ignore it. So…" He shrugs lightly though he looks a bit wounded.
"No," She shakes her head again and reaches for him. She was not going to let Elliot screw this up. Robert was a good man. And hell, if Elliot made her feel so uncertain, then what was she doing thinking about him?
"I know you're in love with him." Robert says, quietly.
She drops the hand that was reaching for him, opens her mouth to deny it. But he shakes his head and continues. "He's in love with you too, you know. Any fool can see it. Elliot and I barely spoke before I came back to the city. But on those rare occasions, he'd usually mention you…he'd light up, even his voice would change. And you…you should see how you look when you talk about him. I've only seen you together twice. But the two of you…there's so much there. Problem is…I just like you. And, if I'm being honest, I always liked needling him."
She laughs in surprise.
"I know. It's not very kind. And I'm a little old to still be doing it."
Rob runs his hand over the top of his head and sighs. "I kept trying to convince myself that the two of you just didn't want each other. Not really. But that was just because I wanted you for myself. And that just isn't going to work if you want someone else." He looks at her finally. "You know, Olivia…I think you know how he feels about you. And how you feel about him."
She shakes her head. "It's not that simple."
"Why not?"
She sighs, searches for the words. "I've spent half of my life loving him." She admits, quietly. "But he was always off limits. All those years we were together, my feelings for him didn't matter, because it was never going to happen. But now, the thought that it could happen? What if it can't live up to all those years of wanting? What if we're a disaster of a couple? What if he leaves again?" Her throat closes over the last words and she tilts her head back, wills away the tears.
Rob's quiet for a long time and clears his throat softly before he speaks. "You always seem so fearless, the type of person who just faces everything head on. Why would you run away from this piece of happiness that you've wanted for so long?"
She scoffs, "Maybe I'm not as fearless as you think."
"Or maybe, you need to trust that this is worth the risk. You told me you trust Elliot, right?"
"Hmm…look at you. Remembering what I said." She smiles at him a little sadly.
He returns the smile. "I know you didn't ask for my advice, but I'm offering it up anyways. Go over there and tell him how you feel. And do it now before you lose your nerve."
She looks at him apologetically.
"I'll be ok." He reassures her, getting up to pull her coat out of the closet. She walks over and he helps her into it. She turns back to him and he pulls her into a long hug. "Now," He says, pulling back. "Go tell my brother you're in love with him."
"What are you doing here?" Elliot's in his pajamas when he comes to the door, plaid pants and a sleeveless shirt. The apartment is dark behind him, Eli and Bernie had retreated to their rooms. He'd been sitting in bed, trying to read, but thinking Instead of Olivia and where she was at that moment.
The knock on the door had been a surprise, but Olivia standing there looking flushed and nervous is a far bigger surprise.
"I thought you were out with Rob-"
Her lips on his cut him off and he doesn't take more than the blink of an eye to capitulate.
He pushes her against the wall by the door and only when they run out of air does he pull back to see if it's real.
"Did you mean it?" She whispers as her hand slides up the back of his neck.
"That I love you?" He smiles. "Yeah. I meant it."
She nods and swallows. "I love you too."
The last word is muffled because his mouth is already on hers again. She makes a startled noise and giggles and then his hand slides down her back and onto her ass and she moans quietly.
He stops before he gets carried away, grabs her hand, "Come on." He tugs her towards his bedroom, closing the door before his mother comes looking to see what's going on.
She takes off her coat and looks up at him like she doesn't know where to start.
"Rob?" He asks tentatively.
She bites her lip and looks away. "He said he knew I was in love with you. He told me I should stop being so scared."
He nods slowly. "What are you scared of Liv?"
She gives a hiccupping sort of laugh. "I'm scared you're going to hurt me again." She swipes the tear as it leaves her eye, shakes her head ruefully.
"I told you I'd never leave again. I swear it, Liv." He steps forward cautiously.
"And what if we don't work?" She pushes back. "What if we can't figure out how to be together?"
"I was scared of that too," He tells her softly. He closes the remaining distance, lets his thumb wipe away the remnants of the tear that had slid down her face. "But I realized something. I was made to love you. And I'm going to spend the rest of my life proving it to you."
He cups her face with his hand and brings her lips slowly to his.
The kiss starts off tender, but it doesn't take long before he pulls her closer, before he directs them towards the bed. His fingers find the zipper at the back of her dress and he's too impatient, brushing against bare skin as it's exposed, eager to pull the material away from her body.
He stops and stares at the lace on her golden skin and finally Liv laughs, whispers his name, cups his chin to guide his mouth back to hers.
He lays her down, like he's dreamed of doing so many times. But this time it's real, she's here beneath his hands instead of a fantasy stuck in his head. It makes him feel giddy and he can't stop smiling. Not while he removes the rest of her clothes. Not while he takes off his own. Not when their bodies are joined and she's sighing into his mouth.
"Liv…" He wants to touch every inch of her. Taste every inch of her. Tell her over and over how he's hers. But he reminds himself that this is forever. He has the rest of their lives to worship her in all the ways she deserves.
"I love you," He tells her again as he holds her close, their breathing returning to normal.
The look on her face makes his throat catch. "I love you, El." She says again before she reaches up and kisses him.
Christmas Day, 2022
Noah and Liv had come straight there Christmas morning, still in their pajamas, bags of gifts in tow. The last minute plans to join the Stablers had been rushed, but Elliot had promised coffee and fresh cinnamon buns and if they were going to be together, why wait any longer?
In the span of four days Elliot had joined her for two of Noah's Nutcracker performances, seeming eager to spend as much time with her as possible. Kathleen and Elizabeth had called to insist that she and Noah join for Christmas. In spite of the Stabler welcome, she feels a little like an intruder. She's spent at least two Christmases in the Stabler home over the course of her and Elliot's partnership. And this morning everyone seems all too happy to see them, but for Olivia the change is still so sudden.
Elliot hands her a steaming coffee and directs her to the center of the couch, sitting at one end, next to her. His arm drops around her shoulders and he tugs her into him. For a moment she feels far too self conscious about it. Finds it so odd to be surrounded by his family and be cuddling into him. All five kids are there, Maureen's husband too. Bernie's flitting between grandkids. Only Rob is missing, having already planned to spend Christmas with his oldest son, which is probably for the best, everything considered.
But she looks up at him and he seems so comfortable with it, so sure and confident that she tries to let go of her uncertainty and lean into him. When she glances around, no one else seems to have batted an eye. And it's a relief, to just settle into it.
All those Christmases and birthdays and picnics where she was on the sidelines, and now here she is in the midst of it, like she belongs. She still feels like a fraud. Like the replacement mother no one asked for. But she tries to reassure herself that the kids have known her for so long now. That they've spent the past year reconnecting. That even Eli knows her a little. And that she might be the only one feeling awkward about any of it.
Kathleen leans over the couch then, a wrapped gift in hand. "For you, from all of us." And Olivia takes the box as all the eyes turn towards her. She pulls the end of a ribbon and tugs off the top of the box. Under the tissue paper there's a wooden frame, lettering across the bottom right reading "Our Family".
The frame is empty.
"We thought…" Kathleen sounds tentative as she circles the couch, looks at Elliot and Olivia. "We thought we could take our first family picture. And you could put it in the frame. If you'd like…"
Olivia has to swallow twice before she trusts her voice. She looks over at Noah who seems giddy, grinning up at her. "We'd love that." She manages.
They all move together, surrounding the spot where Liv and El are already sitting. Noah scoots in front of her feet and she's most surprised when Eli drops into the seat next to her and leans in. The tripod is set and the light is flashing. Right before the picture takes, she realizes this is just the start. Liv's smile broadens, El squeezes her hand and the camera snaps the moment.