John was laying on the bed in their hotel room as Trish came out of the bathroom. She sat on the bed, a dazed look on her face "baby you ok?" John asked worriedly. She laid down and faced away from him. John put his hand on her arm, trying to gauge what could be wrong "honey are you in pain or something?" he tried again.
"I'm pregnant" Trish whispered softly. John's eyes widened when she said this, he almost asked her to repeat herself but he knew he had heard right. Trish sat up "I know this isn't exactly what we need now, seeing as we just got engaged and all but this is what's happened".
"Baby this is great" John said making Trish look at him "I love that you're pregnant. I mean I didn't get a chance to raise Jessie and now I can start again with the new baby" John took Trish's hand in his "baby we can do this. I mean I know you've always wanted a baby and I have too and I got Jessie but its not the same as having a baby and seeing it grow up and all. Trish, we're having a baby". John pulled Trish to him and hugged her tightly. Once Trish realized John was happy and all she hugged him back, tears of happiness making their way down her face. It seemed like their little family was now growing and both of them were ready for it.
"So do we tell people?" Trish asked John after they had been wrapped in silence for a little while. John looked at her in question "about the baby" she reiterated.
"Oh" John said "well Jessie we'll most definitely have to tell. Umm, Randy and Alexis probably. Everyone else can probably wait. OH and our families, duh" John smacked himself on the forehead and put a goofy expression on his face. Trish laughed and rubbed the spot he smacked lightly.
"Ok" Trish said softly. "I can't believe how well our lives are going ya know? I mean it seems like this past few months everything has pretty much sucked and now things are finally getting back to where it needs to be".
"I know what you mean" John said matching Trish's soft tone "I mean when Jessie came into my life I thought that everything would stay great, ya know? Then she met Josh and he fucked her life up really bad. She doesn't let on but she still has nightmares sometimes. I've walked by her room at night a few times and she'd be tossing and turning, moaning slightly. I've heard her mumble Josh's name, sometimes Stacy's. You know Trish I know its incredibly bad to say this but I hate them. I hate them because they took my little girls innocence. They took that childlike quality she had once upon a time. I mean she still acts the same now but her eyes don't sparkle if that makes any sense. She doesn't fully let herself enjoy things, doesn't let her guard completely down..."
"It'll take time honey" Trish said, stroking John's arm "I mean within a few months she went through a rape, being shot, having to testify at her rapists' trial, and seeing you get shot. That's a lot to go through. I would be surprised if she wasn't going through some kind of trauma with it".
"Should I have her see a therapist?" John asked Trish. Trish looked deep in thought for a second.
"Well you could mention it I think" Trish replied "but don't force it. If she wants to see a therapist then it has to be her decision. She may not need it though, some people just need to know that their loved ones are there for them. Sometimes talking to a loved one gets you further than talking to someone who charges $200 an hour".
"Yeah true" John said, he sat up and looked at Trish with a smile "so do you wanna break the news to everyone since their right outside?" Trish laughed and kissed John on the lips.
"Let's shower and dress first" she said "then we'll tackle telling the news". John's eyes lit up and he got a playful smile on his face.
"Oooh water play, sounds fun" Trish giggled and smacked his arm. Then the two of them went to get ready to face the day.
After Trish and John had showered and dressed they went out into the main living room area. Everyone else was already up and dressed. "Look who finally decided to get up" Mark said as the couple made their appearance.
"We've been up for a while thank ya very much" John said plopping down on the couch beside Jessie who was playing with Muffin in her lap. "Talking..." John left the statement open, giving Trish the opportunity to tell everyone the news.
"Yeah" Trish said quietly "I uh have something to tell all of you". Everyone looked over at her, each seemingly asking the same question of 'what' in their gazes. "Well I've been feeling kinda blah lately, sort of out of it I guess you could say and I now know why that is" she took a dramatic pause, gathering courage to finish the statement "I'm pregnant" she finished in a whisper, although everyone heard what she said anyway. The next few minutes where a blur of excitement. Everyone seemed to be talking at the same time, Jessie and Randy seemed to be hanging off John expressing how happy they were for him and Mark, Alexis and Victoria rushed over to Trish asking her so many questions it almost made her head spin.
"Woah hold on a minute" Trish called out, gaining everyone's attention "I still have to go to the doctor and make it official, those over the counter tests can be wrong sometimes" everyone conceded that she had a point and things calmed down a bit.
"I can't wait to have a little brother or sister" everyone looked at Jessie when she said this and she grinned sheepishly "sorry couldn't resist" she then turned to John "I sure hope your little boys can swim".
"...and irony smacks me in the face" John stated "I can remember saying almost that exact thing to my dad once when I wanted a little brother, three years later Dan was born. I'll also tell you what my dad told me 'my little boys swim fine, now drink your milk'".
"I don't have milk" Jessie said, smirking at him. John got up out of his seat and went to fix her a glass of milk. He brought it back and handed it to her. She laughed and drank some of it.
"So" John said, trying to get the attention off him and Trish for the moment "how'd the honeymoon go?"
"It was soooooo much fun" Alexis swooned. "The hotel was like this total fantasy place. It was nice. It had a big bed, complimentary champagne, and these greaaaaat big fluffy bathrobes that Randy wouldn't let me steal" she cut a sour look at Randy and he laughed at her.
"Honey" he said, leaning over and kissing her cheek "those would have costed me $2,000 each if I had swiped them from the hotel". Alexis looked at Randy with a look that clearly said 'so what'. He chuckled a bit and said "I'll buy you a bathrobe next time I get the chance to go shopping". Alexis smiled wildly, like a little kid who had been told they'd get to meet Superman.
Everyone sat around talking for the rest of the morning until they had to leave to go to the arena. Trish who had the night off decided to hang back at the hotel and watch tv, and Jessie who had her fill of backstage for the moment decided to stay with her. "So Jessie" Trish said "what's been up?" she was hoping to get Jessie to open up to her about what had been bothering her.
"Not much" Jessie said, "I...haven't really been sleeping well lately". Trish mentally cheered, there was her opening. She hoped that all those psychology classes she took when she was going to medical school paid off.
"Oh really" Trish feigned surprise "well sometimes I don't sleep well in hotels either, I miss my own bed".
"No" Jessie said almost hesitantly "its not that..."
"Well" Trish said "what is it then? I mean if you wanna talk about it..." Trish didn't want to pressure the girl, that was the last thing that needed to happen. It could cause Jessie to go off the deep end if she was close already.
"I guess I should" Jessie said, again almost hesitant about the whole thing "I have...dreams. Josh and Stacy are in them. I basically relive the whole scene in the courtroom except Stacy shoots everyone, well except me and when everyone's...dead Josh stands up and comes over to me and goes 'beautiful you made a big mistake trying to put me in jail, you're going to have to be punished' and he" Jessie took a deep breath, tears slowly beginning to trickle down her face "he rapes me over and over again and beats me up" Jessie choked on a sob but the dam that had been busted open and she had to get through it all "after that I wake up and usually stay awake the rest of the night".
"How long has this been going on?" Trish asked, wrapping her arm around Jessie to give her some comfort and strength to keep talking. Jessie looked at the ground where Muffin was playing with a chew toy, avoiding looking at Trish.
"Since the trial" she said quietly. Trish sighed heavily, feeling really sorry for the little girl who had seemed to have went through more than she should in her short lifetime. "That's not all..." Jessie spoke up. She looked Trish in the eye before speaking "can I trust you?" she asked bluntly.
"Yes of course you can" Trish said to Jessie, she'd do anything just about to make the girl open up to her and try to help her out.
"You...you can't tell daddy what I'm about to tell you" Jessie said "I just...I don't want him to think bad things about mom. I wanna say first though that I love my mom, I always will. Trish things weren't as good as everyone assumes they were with me and my mom. She had 3 jobs yes, and we were like ships passing in the night when I was going to school and all but...the weekends, they were really rough" Jessie stopped for a moment, taking a deep breath and gathering her courage to continue speaking. Trish started lightly rubbing Jessie's back in a feeble attempt to help her stay calm "mom was off work on all her jobs then. Sometimes she had dates. If so then she'd go out and be out until really early in the morning. I'd hear her come home since the apartment we lived in was really bad and the walls were thin. Sometimes she'd bring the guy in and...I'd hear them having sex in her room. She had a serious relationship when I was 9. The guys name was Todd. They stayed together for about 3 years I guess. I never liked Todd. He was a drug addict. He would be there at night when mom was at work and he never molested me or anything like that but he'd...act creepy. Like he'd make me sit in his lap and he'd tell me I'd be gorgeous when I grew up. I just always got a weird vibe from him. Todd finally died of an overdose. I was really happy but it upset mom really bad. She began...hitting me. For no reason at all. If I was in the room with her she'd find something to hit me about" Jessie started sobbing softly but she was determined to get through the story "after a while she got 'creative' with her beatings" Jessie pulled up the back of her shirt and about an inch from her gunshot scar there was a unique looking scar/bruise. It was at the waist of her pants, almost unnoticable unless you knew what to look for "that is from cigarettes. She'd burn me if she thought I needed a bigger punishment. She'd also lock me in my room for days at a time and just when I'd think I was about to die from starvation she let me out and give me some food" Trish had tears running down her face at this point, not being able to wrap her mind around the fact that anyone could put their daughter through what Jessie had been put through. She wouldn't even think of doing that to her own child, she unconsciously put a hand to her stomach. Almost as if she was trying to feel her baby inside of her. "That's about it..." Jessie said. "I know in my mind that I'm past it all I just can't let myself fully believe it ya know".
"Honey" Trish started "I...I dunno what to say. Why haven't you told John about any of this?"
"Because Trish" Jessie said looking at Trish "I don't want him to think any less of my mom. I mean she was his first love and he doesn't need to think anything less about her. I mean, Trish, my mom wasn't a bad person. I promise she wasn't. She just was stressed with Todd dying and her jobs and all. I mean I could have stayed out of her way and did as she asked me to more. She wouldn't have had to hit me then..." Trish couldn't believe what she had heard. She didn't know why Jessie was trying to justify the actions of a person who put her through what all she had. If it had been Trish she would despise the woman.
"Honey there was no reason that she..." Trish tried to get Jessie to understand what she was saying but Jessie interrupted her.
"Trish don't. Listen my mom was a good person up until that point. All I want to do is have the good memories to look back on and try to forget the bad ones. I mean what more can I go through? I think I'm at the point where it only gets better from here on out, and hey if I have a few more rough patches to go through then so be it" as Jessie finished her sentence the sound of someone coming in the front door was heard. John came in, Trish thought she saw tear tracks on his face but she wasn't sure.
"Daddy what are you doing back, the show can't be done?" John came and scooped Jessie up and sat down with her in his lap.
"They didn't need me so I thought I'd come back and spend some time with my two girls" Jessie laid her head down on John's shoulder and snuggled into his arms. She felt good whenever she was in his arms. Like the world couldn't hurt her like it had so many times before. "Wanna watch a movie?" he asked Jessie and Trish, they both nodded. He flipped through the tv, stopping on The Pacifier. He ordered the movie and they sat back to watch it, Jessie never leaving his arms. About 1/2 way through the movie John spoke quietly in Jessie's ear "honey you know if you ever need to tell me anything you can right?" Jessie nodded her head which was still on his shoulder and John felt that she was telling the truth.
Once the movie was over John saw that Jessie was asleep. It was only 8 pm but he carried her and put her in bed. Once he had her tucked in he came back out and sat beside Trish on the couch. He rubbed his face and when he pulled his hands away Trish saw that tears were making their way down his face. "I heard it all" he said softly, his voice cracking with emotion. "I came back about the time you said 'I mean if you want to talk about it' and heard everything said after that". John shuddered and sobbed softly "how could she do that to Jessie? I thought she was a good person I mean she seemed so nice..." John looked at Trish then and she almost cried when she saw his eyes. Complete heartbreak. "Trish I talked to her that night, I thought she was a good person. I didn't know that she'd..." Trish interrupted him by grabbing his arm softly. She brushed the tears from his eyes but it was no use, they kept coming anyway.
"Baby some people seem like good people on the outside but on the inside they aren't ya know. I mean you spent one night with the woman you had no idea that one day in the future she'd be abusing your daughter" John nodded his head and laid down in Trish's lap, both of them lost in their own thoughts but both thinking about the same thing, Jessie and all she had been through.