Chapter 5.

When they had finished their dinner, Mike and Kate went into the lounge room with a bottle of wine. Jessica had fallen asleep, tired out after her day at her grandparents' home, and the house was quiet.

"Nikki with Buffer, eh?" said Mike, taking a sip of his wine. He slipped his arm around his wife with the air of a contented family man. Mike was still amazed at Kate's love for him, despite the demanding Navy life, and how his little daughter tugged at his heartstrings. He simply adored her, and he remembered how Swain incessantly chatted of his little girl, like the proud father he was.

Swain. God, it still hurts…

Kate said, "I think they are well suited." Noting her husband's sudden silence, she asked, "are you OK?"

"I was thinking of Swain, and how he drove us mad when Sally was pregnant. Kate, why does Charge blame me? He barely spoke to me at our wedding. What more could I have done? Does he really think I could have stopped that? Why does he think he's the only one who suffered out of what happened?"

Kate poured some wine. She knew how Mike took it so personally. She also knew why he was promoted so quickly; to put some distance between himself and Hammersley. And not just Mike; the crew, with the exception of herself were posted off the boat, dispersed like the four winds throughout the fleet. The subsequent investigation into Swain's and Jim's deaths, although exonerating Mike and herself of any blame resulting from the fateful incident, did very little to assuage Mike's guilt. She recalled the occasional nightmares he had, where he would cry out their names in his sleep, waking in a sweat and tears as she held him in her arms, soothing him back to sleep. His love for his daughter seemed to be a healing for him, as he had fewer nightmares after Jessica was born.

She wasn't ready to admit it, but she was aware of a growing distaste for Hammersley, too many memories, too much grief.

Aloud she said, "Charge wasn't the only one who was affected by that." Recalling the faces of the crew on the day of the memorial service, she continued, "Two Dads didn't take it too well either. We gave him leave, and he went AWOL in Singapore. We haven't heard where he is, or how he is. Dutchy took it all quietly, I don't know how he dealt with it, RO is RO, Bird has been very resilient. She's young, I suppose after she got over the initial shock, she's moved on from it. I hear she is thriving as a Medic, although she wants a sea posting. Bomber and Buffer weren't onboard, but they both miss Swain. Buffer keeps in touch with Sally. Chloe has already decided she will join the Navy. Time heals all wounds, Mike."

"I know, Kate, I know. I ordered them twice to abort the operation, they disobeyed the order. I honestly wish it hadn't happened, nobody likes to lose a crew member, especially like that." He drained his glass and set it down. "I'd like to know how and where Two Dads is."

Kate finished her wine and stood up. "So do I. Time for bed. I have to check on Hammersley's maintenance schedule tomorrow. You right to take Jess to day care?"

"Sure. Meet you for lunch tomorrow?" Mike grimaced as he stood up. As he moved toward the hall, Kate noticed him favouring his left leg. That wound must be playing up again. She said nothing, but gave thanks for Swain, the Medic who had saved Mike's life, when he had sustained that serious injury that nearly caused him to bleed to death, and would have done so, if not for the competence of Swain. Swain, to whom Mike owed his life, and Kate her eternal gratitude, was dead. Tears came to her eyes.

It's not fair.

Mike took her in his arms. "Come to bed, sweetheart. You need your sleep."

Wordlessly, she nodded. Together, they went up the hall into their bedroom.

After Buffer left, Charge sat for a long time, staring blankly. To meet up with a former Hammersley crewmate, just when he thought he could forget all about it and get on with life, had unsettled him.

For some reason, his mind turned to Two Dads. Shortly after the memorial service, he was given leave, then he went AWOL in Singapore. Charge wondered where he was, and how he was. His own discharge papers went through quickly, as he had already secured the job he was now in.

He had to get up tomorrow. With a long sigh, Charge heaved himself up and slowly went to his bedroom.

The next morning when he came in, Amy was already there at her desk. She looked as tired as he felt. When Amy saw him, she went straight up to him.

"Peter told me all that happened on the Hammersley when Swain was killed. Why couldn't you talk to me about it? Damn you, you knew what I had been through, and you shut up about it? Like I wouldn't understand?"

Charge was taken aback. This was a side to Amy he hadn't seen. Usually, she locked that side of things away. She devoted herself to her children and her job. Nothing else. Averting his gaze, he said, "sorry mate. It's not something I want to talk about, OK? I know you have had your hurts, and I didn't want to load my stuff onto you, when you already have enough to deal with."

"Andy! Don't bullshit me! Of all the people who work here, I'd be the one to understand. And you have no bloody idea how much I would've liked to share what happened to Greg with someone who has, more or less, walked the same path! And you closed yourself off! That sucks Andy, it really does."

Quietly, Charge said, "the same could be said of you."

Amy turned and walked off in the direction of the workshop, leaving Charge standing there, staring after her. Finally, he sat at his desk, turned on the computer, and sat looking at the maintenance schedule for the day. Looking up, he saw Buffer walking to the shed to pick up his truck to start his shift.

The last person I want to see right now.

Picking up his safety hat and Hi-Vis vest, Charge set off toward the mine.