Title: There Are No Absolutes
Author: gothgurl666
Beta(s): gothgurl's boy & sadlilgothgirl
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and I am not making a profit off this fanfic.
Summary: AU. Harry Potter did not grow up with the Dursley's as planned. Instead Harry was left in the streets and Orphanage. There will be possible future slash and torture in this fic. Readers not interested leave now.
Rated: M
It's cold. I have to eat and I need a place to stay. If I don't get the things I need soon I don't think I'll make it. I remember that I was offered a job awhile back. I do not wish to do it but what choice do I have? I remember the way, for I was always good with directions. I stumble into the lone alleyway. The door is there waiting for me and yet I hesitate. I don't have to, but then my chances for survival are slim. I need to, and throughout history need has always taken precedence over wants or morals. I put my hand around the door knob and I enter.
The interior is far removed from the harsh realities of the street. The entrance leads to a long hallway with a deep burgundy rug running the entire length. I file down the narrow hall until I come upon a room that is so beautiful that I almost forget why I am here. The grand fireplace is the focal point of the entire room. The black granite surface leads your eyes to the high vaulted ceilings. A crystal chandelier hangs from the center of the ceiling. The seating is arranged so that all guests would face the fireplace. All the furniture is lush leather.
I take a seat knowing it will not be long until I am noticed. As if summoned by my thoughts, Tsarr, the second in command enters. Tsarr is small in stature and stands at about five feet six inches, but I suppose he still has time to grow. You see, Tsarr is only thirteen years old and has spilt more blood than most hardened professionals. My senses are all on alert as he approaches with his lackeys behind him.
Even the way he walks screams predator. He has always unnerved me. What is more dangerous than someone who always gets what they want desiring you? Yes, he has made it no secret that he desires me in . . . all ways.
I know he doesn't need bodyguards so my only explanation as to why they could be here is that he looks young; ignorant people always forget that just because he's young doesn't mean he is not deadly.
He steps forward, and through his dark brown locks his piercing blue eyes begin to sweep me up and down. I do my best not to give any reactions but it is hard not to feel uncomfortable. Not that I don't like men, but I have seen what this boy could do.
Tsarr gestured for one of his bodyguards to step forward, "Gabriel, take Solo to the master suite so that he may shower and change before we begin our negotiations." His voice is leisurely but still perfectly concise. It sends shivers up my spine.
Gabriel comes toward me as if he would move me himself. I jump up. I can certainly walk myself there. After all I have been in far worse conditions before. Tsarr just smiles at me in the same way that an adult will to a child when they are humoring them. I want to punch him in the face. My face must have betrayed my thoughts because his smile just widens. I blank my face and walk behind the lackey. It is now very obvious that these men are no competition to Tsarr. A real bodyguard never turns their back on someone.
I am lead up two flights of stairs. My body is starting to protest to the motion. We finally reach a hallway that is elegantly designed with little decoration but the decoration that is there is very artfully done. I don't even want to know how much all this costs. I reach the room and Gabriel leaves me at the door telling me to come back to the lobby when I am finished.
The bathroom is so white that when I look in I am blinded momentarily. The only color is one single red rose in a vase. The symbolism is not wasted on me. The rose is like a spot of sin in so much purity; beauty with thorns. Knowing Tsarr he already had the room prepared when he saw me in the security cameras. Even I have to admire him for his cunning and preparations. I begin to run the bath water as I undress. Tsarr can wait.
The reason I am here still will not leave me. I must have a way to live, a purpose, as you will. The orphanage disgusts me. The constant taunts of' freak' are more than I can bear for the time being. So this is all I have left. From the reputation of Tsarr most would not have anything to do with him but I always seem to be the one to interact with the most deadly of people.
About one year ago I was beat down in the middle of the street which in itself was not too uncommon then. The difference was that most fights are because you have something they want or that you are a direct threat to them. The problem was that I didn't know them at all and all they wanted to know about was Kara. Even though she was not my friend I knew these people might kill her if they caught her unaware so I refused to tell them anything. It cost me three broken ribs, seven broken fingers, a black eye and an infected cut on my side. They left me there in that alley. I don't know how long I laid there. It is all a blur in my mind even today.
Kara found me later that evening. Before I passed out I told her that she should probably be prepared and that some people were looking for her.
When I regained consciousness I was in the very suite I'm in now. The difference was that I was on a bed and a boy I didn't know was on it too.
"Who are you," I asked
He lowered his head to me very slowly so that when he spoke it was in my ear.
"My name is Tsarr but that does not even begin to tell you who I am," he said softly. He managed to send shivers down my spine.
I pondered on that piece of information for a while. I decided that since I didn't know anything about him that I would remain cautious, but not be weak.
I got to a sitting position with much difficulty and pain but without making a sound. When I knew I could sit I felt much more confident and turned to look at the boy. From the first moment I had set eyes on him I always knew he was dangerous and that he was so beautiful like a caged tiger; majestic and yet he would most certainly rip your throat out on a whim.
His appraising eyes swept over me and he said," Also, I may be known as Kara's brother. She brought you here."
Ah. I had wondered. He stepped off the bed with amazing grace. "You may stay here and recover. You helped my sister and I always repay my debts." With that last remark he glided confidently out the door, leaving me to my own devices.
That seemed like forever ago.
I woke myself from my ponderings of the past. It is time to go down and begin our 'negotiations' as Tsarr had put it.
Tsarr was waiting for me at the lounge area. It would only be him and I here.
I wake up in my familiar bed at my own personal niche of hell called North Side Orphanage.
My dreams are starting to bother me. I don't like reliving my past, especially the darkest times. That was when I had left the Orphanage for a good amount of time. I was still getting beaten up at that point.
That was about three years ago, give or take. Tsarr is still after me. It is not uncommon for him to ambush me on one of my walks. It unnerves the hell out me.
But it's all about to be put behind me. I'm excited for the first time since I was very young.
I'm a wizard and I'm going to be leaving this shithole place. I'm not coming back. I've made up my mind and I will not live here ever again. Now is the time. I even have a 'friend' in this new world. The jury is still out on whether or not he would be a real friend. Hell, I don't even know if I believe in a true friendship anymore. I've seen too many people used on these streets to trust blindly. Only fools fall head first into things unprepared.
With all that aside though, everything is working in my favor. The rest of my visit to Diagon Alley had been informative and very . . . interesting.
FLASHBACK
Draco and I decided that after we got our robes that we would go to find Draco's father.
I don't know what to expect upon meeting Mr. Malfoy, but Snape says nothing against it. He keeps looking between me and Draco with ill-concealed puzzlement. I would have to find out why later on.
We enter the book store and it is not hard to find Lucius Malfoy. Draco looks exactly like him except a little softer. Lucius is all sharp angles; the epitome of the pureblood wizard. The way he moves is light and careful yet he holds the grace of a predator. Yet another enigma worth studying.
Mr. Malfoy approaches us with a slight swagger. I notice that the book he had been casually glancing through is titled Light Spells of the Dark Variety.
He greets his son first then curtly nods to Professor Snape. Then his gaze sweeps over me.
His eyes are drowning silver and I find myself lost in the beauty of them. I look away a bit embarrassed. He turns to his son.
"Draco, why don't you introduce me to your friend." I know he knows who I am, so a game it is.
"My birth name is Harry James Potter, but the name that I will go by is Solo," I stated
He looks at me, slowly digesting the information and its implications. He knows just as I do that it is more than just a name I have rejected. "Very well Solo, it is a pleasure to meet you," he says with a small predatory smile. He reminds me so much of Tsarr that it is scary.
"The pleasure is all mine."
I think I have surprised him. Obviously these people expect me to be some light figure because of something I did when I was still pissing on myself. They'll learn soon enough. I won't be governed by people's expectations.
Professor Snape then decides to be heard. "I believe that we should collect your supplies so that we may get your wand." I nod my head to show that I am listening.
Draco decided that we should get our wands together. I agreed. Even though it isn't apparent, I am very excited about getting my wand. The power I will then have will certainly ensure that I am never put in the position that I have to bend to some one else's will.
We reach the shop called Olivander's. I can't help but think that this rundown dump looks more like a place that the sleazy men near the orphanage would go to get a fix rather than a place to buy anything; in fact from the look of it some one should torch it. I take assurance in the fact that a Malfoy would not shop from a place that sells garbage.
We enter the store and it is dark and musty. I put my back to the wall where I can see the entrance and investigate the rest of the shop.
There are boxes from the floor to the ceiling. Some boxes are very dusty and others look like they have been opened very recently.
I let Draco go before me so I could make observations and see if they confirmed my suspicions. Mr. Malfoy and Snape take seats across the room from me. I stay where I am.
Just when I thought we should leave and come back, a man came out of one of the back rooms. He has silvery white hair and large silver orbs almost like the Malfoys.
"Ah, young Mr. Malfoy," Mr. Olivander said. Draco strolled confidently up to Mr. Olivander and stood where he was instructed.
"Mr. Olivander," he said politely. And after a little small talk and discussion about Draco's dominate hand Mr. Olivander began his task.
He began to look for wands in the dusty part of the room. Malfoy tried swinging a few wands and nothing happened. Mr. Olivander then tried a wand that was closer to the clean boxes. When Draco took a-hold of it green and silver sparks came out of the top of it. Draco looked to his father for approval and Mr. Malfoy gave his son a small smirk that Draco returned; after all, Malfoys did not smile.
Mr. Olivander then began to turn his attention to me.
"Hello Mister Potter, I knew I would be seeing you soon."
"Hello Mr. Olivander." I approach him and stand where Malfoy had.
"You have quite a strange company Mister Potter."
"I don't see how that is any of your business." I gave him a warning glance. I saw something flicker across his face that was almost fear.
"Yes," He said cautiously. "You are quite right." He then turned away from me and began the same process he had with Draco. I am pleased that he starts over near the dusty pile which confirms my belief that they are ordered by power.
He starts in the middle of the dusty section. I must have waved twenty wands getting more exasperated while Mr. Olivander just gets even more cheerful.
Finally he looks as though he has had a revelation. He goes behind his desk and pulls out a box. He hands the wand to me and stares at me with such an intensity that I turn to him.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" He says nothing and just gestures for me to wave the wand.
I cautiously take the wand and wave it. A warm feeling rushes over me in waves. Out of the top of my wand, for I know in that instance that it is mine, green and silver sparks emerge. But much to my surprise and everyone else's a shape starts to form. It is a skull with a snake coming out of its mouth.
I notice immediately the change in the atmosphere around me. Everyone in the room is gaping at me. They all look completely ridiculous, like fish out of water.
"What," I ask irritably. You'd have thought I had just sprouted another head with the looks they are giving me. I don't like it. "Someone tell me what the hell is so fascinating."
Mr. Malfoy seemed to be the first to recover. "You know of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?" I nod my head, "that was his symbol."
Something almost like fear fills my gut. Do I want to be compared in any way to the murderer of my parents? I push these thoughts away until I am alone.
I turn my attention back to all those present, "I would appreciate it if none would speak of this outside of the group now assembled. I would be most displeased if I were to find out otherwise." I know it is a dirty tactic to use this new fear of me to my advantage but I don't want anyone to know about this until I know where I stand. They shake their heads in understanding, knowing that I would be more than 'displeased' if I found out.
We pay for the wands and exit the shop in silence, each in their own thoughts I imagine. Lost in my own thoughts I don't even realize that the rest of my little company is not with me. I look back and it seems that some dumb muggleborn has walked into Draco and spilled his supplies everywhere. I watch in amusement as the child looks as though he may cry under the combined glare of Draco and Lucius.
I look back ahead of me in time to see a boy much older than me approach. His eyes lock onto mine. The look on his face is not pleasant. His hair is a nondescript brown and his eyes are a common blue. The way he walks definitely shows him for the spoiled little prick that he is. There are two boys behind him, smaller than him and very unassertive. As he gets closer I think he is probably two or three years older than me.
Draco looks over and sees this boy. He comes toward me but I put my hand up and shake my head. Draco looks like he might not listen but his father gives him a severe look and nods his head towards me. Snape stands to the side observing everything. If this is to be my first interaction with the hierarchy I want it to be me not Malfoy that he fears and respects. The only way to survive is to be on top. This time I won't ever be anyone's bitch again.
He finally stops just short of me; invading my space. I look up at him like I hadn't known that he was coming.
"So this is the famous Harry Potter," He said in a sarcastic voice. His flunkies laugh behind him. I decide I will humor him and let him insult me. When I give him no reaction he gets pissed off. "Now you listen to me Potter, you are going to my school and I can make your life hell, so as long as you don't stick your neck out it won't get slit."
I finally smile at him. "I don't think it concerns you what I do or do not do." I turned my back on him and began walking away. I felt rather then saw him come for me.
I know I can evade him but I let him grab the back of my robes and turn me around. If this lesson is going to mean anything I need to not evade him and let others think I ran but confront and dominate.
His breath is hot on my face. He opens his mouth up to speak but I beat him to it. I give him the most severe look I have.
"I recommend that you release me right now or you won't like what happens."
"Yeah what are you going to do little firstie? I bet you can't even cast a summoning charm," he taunted.
"You are right. I can't cast a spell," His face lights up with victory. "But there are still things that can be just as deadly." I move like I had trained myself- faster than anyone can register. I pull his arm behind his back twisting his body so that his back is to me and press the knife into his neck. "Now I suggest that you remember your place." I say while simultaneously increasing the pressure on the knife. I feel his fear and it makes me so pissed off that I released him before I draw blood. He looks at me like I am Death. He makes such a pathetic sight that I have to laugh. He crawls away from me before he manages to get to his feet; his friends having already deserted him.
Mr. Malfoy and Professor Snape are giving me calculated looks. Draco is gaping at me in a very unMalfoy like behavior.
END FLASHBACK
After that we just gathered the rest of the supplies in relative silence. At the exit near Tom's Bar Draco turned towards me and offered his hand to me again cautiously. I took it again. He told me that he'd meet me back on the train. Snape then returned me to the orphanage.
I don't know what House I am going to be in or what image I will portray but in the end anything is better than the fucking orphanage. I won't just survive I'll conquer.